Chapter 101: Graveside

The night after Lisa's fight with Golem, Hanna couldn't sleep. Be it from either the days excitement or that her thoughts kept wandering around Golems death and what Aunt Lisa had spoken about. She tossed and turned for hours in the still unfamiliar bed.

"Was killing him really the right thing to do?" Hanna spoke quietly in her room to better formulate her thoughts. "I know Aunt Lisa said I wasn't actually accountable for him dying, but I still feel horrible inside. He was just doing what he was told. Just like when Aunt Lisa said she fought in the military; she was just following orders. But she did feel bothered killing them. So even if I didn't do anything, he still died because of me. Yet he still was responsible for my parents-, I mean what happened. Gah, this is so confusing!"

Frustrated, Hanna rolled over in bed under the rough quilt for the dozenth time. Giving up she kicked off her bed sheets and laid there just in her pajamas. "He never even knew Aunt Lisa fought for me to get revenge. How could I consider that getting revenge? I did nothing."

She let out a long sigh and laid motionless in her bed. It was so still and quite in the house that she could practically hear the silence. The moon was half full tonight and its pale glow seeped into her bedroom and dyed the floor with its gossamer light. Stars twinkled sleepily as Hanna gazed out at them.

Curious thoughts of what really might have happened when someone died danced within her head. Where would they go, for how long, would they still think or feel? Would they come back as something else, or was that it? They had one shot at life. Was there someone waiting for them on the other side or did nothingness await. Were they scared to die?

Hanna shuttered at these unsettling thoughts. Thinking of death was just a horrible experience. So full of uncertainties, anxiety, dread, and fear. Especially since her life up until recently had been so happy and content. These thoughts had never crossed her mind before and might never had for a long time if her family were still here.

Her parents had always been so kind and caring. Though they had extraordinarily little in this poor town, they were happy. Mother loved to tend the garden and flowers. The loving look in her beautiful brown eyes, as she tending to them, was always so calm and tender. It made Hanna feel completely relaxed and safe, like all was well in the world. Her hugs were even better too. Mother always smelled so nice, like lavender after the rain.

Father was always chatting and joking around with John, Benny, and Richard. He always worked hard to provide for them, even if he hated doing physical labor. Many times, he would come home after dark totally exhausted. Being hugged his arms she always felt so stable and secure; and yet absolutely free. Father loved to set her on his lap and read stories to her. They would spend hours at a time just simply talking and joking around. Just living in that very moment.

Hanna had tried to be a good daughter for her parents. Though she always seemed to make mistakes, but in the end, they were always forgiven. Thinking back on them, they were a wonderful family.

"Will I ever see you again?" Hanna's soft voice quivered in the silent darkness.

A hot tear dropped off Hanna's nose before she had even realized it was there. Her emotions were welling up now and there was no stopping them. She grabbed her pillow out from behind her head and buried her face into its limp fluffiness and just cried. For how long, she knew not. All she could do was hold the pillow close to her and do her best to not cry out loud. Eventually, letting out one final sob, she managed to calm down.

"What did we do to deserve this?" Hanna moaned into the pillow. Martinez’s face suddenly appeared in her thoughts, "Why did you kill them!" Tossing the tear stained pillow away, she punched and kicked at the air in silent frustration.

A sudden thought appeared in her mind. Where were her parents at now? All this time she had been going on, day by day, in what felt like a daze. As if her parents were not really gone, but on a faraway trip and would be back anytime soon. Yet they wouldn't be coming back. They were gone. Never to hold her close again.

A second wave a sadness quickly enveloped her. Though not as strong as before, the pain seemed to rack her heart. Letting many warm tears still roll, unchecked, down her cheeks. After calming somewhat a while later, she made a decision.

"Tomorrow, I will ask John to take me to them." Hanna said to the darkness. "I need to see them."

The moons light was long gone from the floor now. If not for the stars, darkness would have been all that remained in her sight. Exhausted from crying all night, Hanna finally drifted off to sleep.

…

Morning came much too early for her. The sound of Mary tapping on her door was what ultimately woke her up.

"Hanna." Mary's muffled voice called from the other side of the bedroom door. "It's time to eat breakfast."

Hanna sat up in bed and stretched, feeling the grogginess from a sleepless night enveloping her. Her still tear stained eyes felt like lead. Grudgingly she managed to get out of bed, shuffle over to the closet and change into her day cloths. A simple red and blue stripped shirt and tattered jeans. Finally, she took a simple black Alice-band and used it to hold back her smooth muddy red hair.

Looking into the large mirror on the wall she wiped away the tear stains on her cheeks as best as possible. However, her normally dull green eyes still looked reddened and sad. She thought about giving a smile, but she couldn't even force one. Frustrated, she left the room.

Downstairs at the dinner table Mary had cut up an apple and even peeled off the skin, just like Hanna liked it. Still, however, Hanna could hardly eat even half of the slices. John, who was sitting across from her munching on an old biscuit, noticed her lack of appetite.

"Hanna, is something the matter?" John asked putting his breakfast down.

"Kind of." Hanna murmured.

"Well, you can always tell us if you need help with anything." Mary called from the kitchen, overhearing their conversation.

"She's right, Hanna." John replied. He could see that her eyes were red and knew that she had been crying again. "All you have to do is ask."

Hanna fidgeted for a moment, trying to build up the courage to speak. When she did speak it was soft at first. "I-I want to see my parents. I want to know where they are."

John leaned back in his seat and sighed. "Alright, that will be fine. I should have taken you to see them sooner, but I wanted to wait until you were ready. Are you sure?"

Timidly Hanna nodded reassuringly.

"Ok then. Finish your apple and we can go together." John said while picking up his own biscuit.

Hanna felt better now that she was able to ask and went back to finishing off the apple slices. The two of them soon finished eating and got ready to leave by getting their shoes from the front door. While Hanna was still tying her laces, John opened the front door to check the temperature.

"It's going to get warm today. We won't need to bother with jackets." John said leaving the door open. The suns warm rays glowed brightly, lighting up the house’s entryway.

"I'm coming too." Mary replied as she came after them from the kitchen. "Just let me go get something from upstairs."

"Is it 'that' thing?" John asked Mary, emphasizing the word, 'that'. Hanna noticed this but stayed silent.

"Yes, but only it. The rest we should wait on, like they asked." Mary replied now halfway up the stairs.

"I guess that's fine." John said shrugging.

Hanna looked up at him questioningly as she finished tightening her shoe. "What is she getting?"

"We will explain on the way." John replied. Then he turned to go outside before Hanna could ask another question. Hanna then too got up to follow him.

Not a minute later Marry had joined them outside. In her hand was a small plain looking wood box. There was nothing special about it at all and it fit neatly in Mary's hands.

"Oh, it does feel nice out today." Mary said as the three of them started walking. A light breeze was blowing the warming morning air gently about.

"So where are we going?" Hanna asked them. She was both curious and afraid still.

"We are going back to the police station." John answered looking forward at the road ahead. "The same place where they were killed."

Hanna felt her stomach tighten as nasty memories flooded back. Her pace slowed slightly, and Mary took notice and slowed down with her.

"Are you going to be alright?" Mary asked rubbing the small girls back gently. “I know this might be scarry, going back there.”

"I think so." Hanna replied with a sniffle.

Though she felt like she would rather run the other way and pretend that her parents were still away on a trip. However, she knew that she would have to face reality someday. Might as well be now.

The trio walked the rest of the way in silence. The road leading to the police station was not highly traveled, so they didn't see many other people. The once safe area had become a dangerous hot spot between the market and river docks. John always kept a watchful eye around them and luckily nothing happened.

As soon as they reached the entrance to the station, Hanna froze. If she took another step than she would have to face the truth. If she turned back now it might all be a dream and she would wake up soon. She did not want to see her parent’s graves, yet she must.

A friendly hand touched her shoulder. Mary’s soft voice then coaxed her forward, "Come on Hanna, just a bit further. You can do it.”

Hanna felt her knee’s shake as she stepped forward. Once she did, she could take the rest slowly. Walking nervously across the parking lot, Hanna stopped in front of two piles of red rocks, sand and two wooden crosses.

This was where her parents were buried. Their lonely graves.

Hanna looking dumbstruck down at them. Her mind had gone blank. She couldn't find the words to speak. Nor did any tear come to her eyes. She felt frozen in place.

John took a step forward to stand in between the two graves. He then turned to face Hanna. "The one on the right is your mother, Dalia Marshal. The one on the left is your father, Rolland Marshal. I was going to give them proper tombstones, but I didn't want you to see me making them. I'll do them soon now though."

Hearing the names of her parents finally broke Hanna. She collapsed heavily to her knees and buried her face into her hands sobbing. Mary knelt down alongside Hanna and hugged her tightly around her waist. Trembling from her sadness Hanna leaned against Mary.

No one said anything for a while and waited for Hanna to calm some. There was no reason to rush the grieving child. All the while Mary even fought to hold back her own tears. Once Hanna uncovered her face, she tried to control herself.

"G-goodbye. I love you!" Hanna managed to finally say. "I promise not to let you down. Just watch over me."

"I am sure that they will be." John replied slowly.

"Here." Mary said holding out the little wooden box to Hanna. "This is something they gave to us; just in case they did die before you turned sixteen. They said it was a special gift for you."

Hanna took the box with a shaky hand. It didn't weigh much and the sound of something small, shifted inside. Carefully Hanna lifted the henge.

Inside was a stunning engraved gold and platinum locket. On its front was a platinum Chines dragon circling around to bite its tail. It was beautiful. A loving gift, from loving parents.

Hanna took it out gently from the simple box as another wave a tears came swirling back.