Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Great King, what should we do? The harvest has failed across the land. The commoners can barely fill their bellies with two meals of thin porridge a day. This... this..."

"Indeed, Great King, the people are already overburdened. Increasing taxes further may incite a rebellion."

At this moment, someone seemed to have figured something out and stepped forward to speak.

"Does the Great King know the process for our country's annual tribute?"

Lakhon nodded.

"I know. To avoid loss during transit, the annual tribute is sent to the nearest location, Vientiane City, where it is received by Liu Rengui and Wu Xu of the Zhongnan Circuit. They then forward the inventory list and memorials to Guchang City."

"Exactly. Because of this, the amount of the annual tribute is decided by Liu Rengui and Wu Xu."

Lakhon suddenly realized.

"You mean..."

"Precisely. I believe these two are demanding an increase in tribute behind Commandery Duke Gao's back for the purpose of lining their own pockets. I suspect they have embezzled quite a bit of our previous tributes, which led the Commandery Duke to believe we were showing contempt toward Great Gan."

Lakhon stood up excitedly from his throne, pacing back and forth as he contemplated a strategy. After a long while, he stopped.

"I have decided! Send an envoy to Guchang County immediately to seek an audience with Commandery Duke Gao and report the embezzlement of those two!"

Gao Yuan didn't expect that just as he returned to Guchang and before his seat was even warm, the envoy from the Lan Xang Kingdom would arrive. He couldn't help but laugh.

"It seems Meiniang and Zhengze are very efficient; Lakhon can't sit still anymore."

Zhao Xiyao, who was nearby taking a warm towel to wipe Gao Yuan's face, asked with a smile,

"Is Husband planning to take action against the Lan Xang Kingdom?"

"Mhm. How can one allow another to snore beside their bed? The Lan Xang Kingdom's annual tribute has been decreasing over the years. It seems Lakhon's governance is lacking. It's better for us to take over and save the commoners from suffering."

"Pfft!"

Zheng Wan, who had just entered with tea and pastries, burst into laughter and quickly covered her mouth.

"Husband is truly wicked. To want to destroy someone's dynasty and yet find such a high-sounding excuse—your skin is truly thick!"

"One must always find a reason. Otherwise, those scholars will nag in my ears all day long. The annoyance alone could kill someone."

Gao Yuan wiped his face and hands, ate two pieces of pastry, and then stood up to lead the two women.

"Let's go. Come with me to see what kind of excuse this Lan Xang envoy has prepared."

In the main hall of the Grand Princesss Residence, a swarthy man about 1.5 meters tall with a homely appearance stood there, looking restless.

As Gao Yuan entered with the two women, the man's gaze was completely captivated. He thought to himself,

'How can there be such beautiful men and women in this world?'

While he was daydreaming, he suddenly noticed the three of them taking the seats of honor. He immediately realized who they were and hurriedly knelt down.

"Kansu, envoy of the Lan Xang Kingdom, pays respects to Her Highness the Grand Princess, the Commandery Duke, and the Madam."

Gao Yuan had noticed the man's gaze long ago. In his eyes, this man was already dead, but he still spoke politely.

"Please rise, Envoy. I wonder what business Lakhon has sent you here for?"

Kansu bowed clumsily to the three of them, like a monkey that had just learned human etiquette.

"I have been ordered by my Sovereign to report Wu Xu, the chief clerk of Zhongnan Circuit, and Liu Rengui, the Commander-in-Chief. They have deceived their superiors and subordinates, and unilaterally increased the requirements for the annual tribute. I ask the Commandery Duke to order the severe punishment of these two scoundrels."

Gao Yuan sneered.

"Heh, your Han speech is quite good. You even know how to use the term 'two scoundrels' to refer to them."

Kansu didn't catch the underlying meaning in Gao Yuan's words and felt a bit proud.

"I have admired Han culture since I was a child and have traveled to places like Luoyang, so my Han speech is decent."

This time Gao Yuan didn't speak; it was Zhao Xiyao who spoke instead. Her phoenix eyes widened as she stared at Kansu and said sternly,

"Since you understand Han culture so well, do you know the crime for sowing discord and wanton slander?"

Kansu was so frightened that he immediately knelt on the ground and kowtowed repeatedly.

"I do not know what great crime I have committed. I beg Her Highness the Grand Princess to enlighten me."

Zhao Xiyao sneered and spoke a sentence that made Kansu's soul nearly leave his body.

"Of the two you accuse, Wu Xu is my husband's yet-to-be-married concubine and my sister. Liu Rengui is my husband's trusted general. You actually dared to use the term 'two scoundrels' to describe them?"

How could Kansu not understand what was happening? He was now breaking out in a cold sweat and nearly fainted from fear, kowtowing incessantly.

"I didn't know, I truly didn't know! I beg Her Highness the Grand Princess for forgiveness! I beg Your Highness for mercy!"

Gao Yuan stood up, walked over to Kansu, and looked down at him.

"Go back and tell Lakhon that I approved the increase in tribute. Today, you first offended Her Highness the Grand Princess with your lewd gaze, and then slandered my concubine and general. Therefore, I demand that this year's annual tribute be doubled again."

Kansu looked up at Gao Yuan, unable to believe his ears. He was stunned on the spot.

After a long time, he finally reacted and cried out in a shrill voice,

"I beg the Commandery Duke to show mercy! Our country has little land and few people. To gather the annual tribute, the commoners are already overburdened. They cannot even eat their fill with two meals a day. If it is increased further, they truly will not be able to survive!"

"Hmph, that has nothing to do with me. Men, drag him out! Don't let him stay here and be an eyesore."

Kansu felt Gao Yuan's resolve and his heart turned to ash. He was dragged away by the guards, looking utterly despondent.

After driving Kansu away, Zhao Xiyao walked to Gao Yuan's side with some concern and said softly,

"Husband, will this be too hard on the people of the Lan Xang Kingdom?"

Zheng Wan was also a bit worried.

"Indeed, I fear those hundreds of thousands of commoners will have a difficult time ahead."

A cold smile appeared on Gao Yuan's face.

"Who told them to live in a weak country? If they can't survive, they can rebel. Or if that fails, they can flee to us. Won't they be able to live a good life under our rule? Order Liu Rengui to advance his troops toward East Pass and Son La, and order Liao Hua to advance toward Gia Lai, to prevent Lakhon from acting out of desperation."

In Gao Yuan's view, with this attitude, Lakhon would surely be unable to resist flipping the table. Then, he would have the perfect excuse to send troops and wipe him out.

He could even send a memorial to his third brother-in-law in Lin'an after the conquest:

"Third Brother-in-law, did you see? This little brother was disobedient and flipped the table, so I've wiped him out. Hurry up and give me some rewards."

At that time, he could have people publicize the conquest of the Toungoo capital along the way. Wouldn't his Emperor brother-in-law have to hold his nose and give him another promotion?

Just thinking about it was wonderful!

Seeing the corners of Gao Yuan's mouth turn up, Zheng Wan pulled on Zhao Xiyao's sleeve beside her.

"Sister, look at how Husband is smiling so craftily. I'm starting to worry for the Lan Xang Kingdom."

Zhao Xiyao actually agreed with her and nodded. Gao Yuan nearly coughed up a mouthful of blood and really wanted to ask,

"My two wives, I am your own husband! Whose side are you on?"

Indeed, whether it was Gao Yuan, Zhao Xiyao, or Liu Rengui and Wu Xu, everyone thought that under such excessive demands, Lakhon would be unable to resist flipping the table.

Even before Gao Yuan's orders arrived, Liu Rengui and Liao Hua had already begun mobilizing troops to move toward the border.

Who would have thought that Lakhon would actually disband five thousand soldiers to free up a large amount of military funds, and then sell off many treasures from the royal palace to scrape together the tribute.

Liu Rengui looked at the steady stream of carriages entering Vientiane City and felt tempted, but he really wanted to say,

"We don't care about this little bit of tribute! What we want is everything you have!"

In Guchang County, when Gao Yuan received the news, he couldn't help but complain,

"Holy crap! This guy can endure so much? Is he a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?"