24: Ghosts don't read poetry

In the dim studio, the cold light of the screen reflected Lin Que's calm face.

Wang Shouyi's combination of punches had been well-played.

Unfortunately,

the target was him, and the trophy was also him.

Now, it was Lin Que's turn to play his cards.

He moved the mouse, the cursor flashing on the writer's backend of the Hongguo Novel Website.

In the title bar of the new chapter, he typed four words.

[Ghosts Don't Read Poetry]

This was the first new chapter following the Ghost Knocking on the Door incident.

Then, his fingers began to dance wildly across the keyboard.

This time, he didn't create an oppressive atmosphere.

Instead, using a nearly plain, extremely calm brushstroke,

he began to tell a brand new story.

[...]

[Yang Jian and the remaining few survivors were trapped in the ancient books section of the library. The air was thick with the decaying scent of old paper.]

[Among them was an old man named Professor He, a well-known folklore expert in the city.]

["Everyone, do not be afraid!" Professor He pushed up his reading glasses, comforting the crowd in a scholarly tone.]

["According to my research, all supernatural phenomena are essentially a form of intense mental obsession. As long as our hearts are filled with righteousness and we use our utmost sincerity to influence it, we will surely resolve the crisis!"]

[As he spoke, he cast a disdainful glance at the silent Yang Jian in the corner. "Young man, don't always think about fighting and killing; that is the behavior of barbarians. We are civilized people; we must use wisdom and morality to solve problems."]

[At that moment, at the end of the corridor, a ghostly figure wearing a Republican-era long gown slowly emerged.]

[It had no face; the place where its features should be was a blank void. In its hands, it held a thread-bound ancient book.]

["It's here!" someone among the survivors let out a suppressed cry of alarm.]

[Professor He, however, acted as if he had seen a rare treasure. Instead of retreating, he stepped forward, blocking the crowd.]

[He cleared his throat and, facing the ghost, began to recite loudly: "Between heaven and earth, there is a righteous spirit, manifesting in various forms. Below, it becomes the rivers and mountains; above, it becomes the sun and stars..."]

[He was reciting the 'Song of Righteousness,' his voice resonant and filled with the passionate fervor of a scholar.]

[He firmly believed that these words, which embodied the integrity of ages, were enough to cleanse all evil ways.]

[The ghost seemed truly attracted by his voice, stopping in its tracks and tilting its head as if 'listening.']

[Professor He's face lit up with joy, and he recited even louder: "...In times of hardship, integrity is revealed, each instance recorded in history!"]

[He turned back and said triumphantly to Yang Jian, "Do you see? Knowledge and integrity are the most powerful weapons!"]

[Yang Jian ignored him, silently pulling a rusted golden palm out of his pocket.]

[The ghost moved.]

[It floated right in front of Professor He.]

[Professor He thought he had succeeded. A gratified smile even appeared on his face as he prepared to give it a final lecture.]

[The next second, the ghost reached out its hand.]

[That hand pierced directly through Professor He's mouth and emerged from the back of his head. In its grasp, it held a bloody tongue.]

[Professor He's eyes bulged, and his recitation stopped abruptly. Until the moment he died, he didn't understand why his belly full of classics and his heart full of righteousness couldn't buy him a chance at life.]

[The ghost withdrew its hand and carefully tucked the tongue into the ancient book it held, as if making a perfect bookmark.]

[Having finished this, it finally raised its blank face and 'looked' at the remaining living people in the room.]

[Yang Jian's cold voice rang out in the deathly silent room.]

["It didn't come to listen to you recite poetry."]

["It just hates noise."]

Lin Que finished writing the last word and clicked publish.

The entire process was smooth as flowing water.

He didn't even refresh the comment section, but simply picked up his coffee and walked to the floor-to-ceiling window, overlooking the city beneath his feet.

He knew exactly what kind of bomb he had just dropped.

As expected.

In less than thirty minutes.

The book review section for "the human world is like a prison" exploded.

At first, it was a chorus of wails from readers terrified by the updated content.

[Holy crap! A tongue bookmark! Author, are you a devil?! I just finished eating!]

[Professor He... I thought he was some hidden big shot at first, but... he died so abruptly, and so uniquely...]

[Great, following 'Under-the-Bed Phobia' and 'Knocking Hallucination Syndrome,' I have now honorably contracted 'Compulsive Shut-Your-Mouth Disorder.']

But soon, the direction of the comments changed.

Some readers with sharp instincts immediately sensed that something was off.

[Wait a minute! Don't you guys think this Professor He looks a bit familiar?]

[Upstairs, you're not alone! A professor, preaching big principles, criticizing the protagonist as a barbarian... isn't this that Jiangcheng Writers Association Chairman?!]

[What's up with the Jiangcheng Writers Association Chairman? Did I miss something?]

[Are there still students who don't know? If you don't know, go check the homepage of the Jiangcheng Writers Association's official website. PS: Coming back to read this chapter after that is even more brilliant!]

...

[Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! Case closed! 'Ghosts Don't Read Poetry'! The author is using the update to respond to Wang Shouyi's review! Hahahaha! I'm dying of laughter!]

[What a god-tier move! Wang Shouyi said literature must have integrity, so the author directly wrote the most 'principled' Professor He and then let a ghost insta-kill him! That slap to the face was loud and clear!]

["'It didn't come to listen to you recite poetry, it just hates noise.' This line is legendary! This is how a top-tier writer responds—not by arguing with you, but by writing you into the book and letting you die without even knowing how you died! "]

[In this round, Great Master Dream Weaver is on the fifth floor while Wang Shouyi can only stay in the first basement level!]

[Hahahaha, Wang Shouyi: I want to criticize you! Author: Received, let me arrange a role for you. Wang Shouyi: Deceased.]

This comment was voted to the top of the hot reviews, followed by countless "hahahahas."

The entire book review section completely transformed into a carnival of memes.

Readers' imaginations ran wild,

fan-made jokes and emojis emerged in an endless stream,

and the popularity even surged onto major social media platforms.

Wang Shouyi's righteous and stern call to arms instantly became a joke.

The 'moral guardians' who were still cheering for Wang Shouyi just moments ago were now collectively silent.

They wanted to refute, but found they had no ground to stand on.

You call the author dark?

He responded to you with a plot that made you laugh until your abs hurt.

You call the author uncultured?

He tells you that in a ghost story, culture is useless.

This originally serious dispute over literary philosophy

was turned by Lin Que into a farcical carnival for the whole nation using a method akin to a dimensional strike.

...

Jiangcheng University.

Literature Department Professor's Office.

Li Yuanchao also finished reading the latest chapter of "the human world is like a prison."

He wasn't as excited as those young readers.

He just quietly stared at the words "It just hates noise" on the screen,

staring for a long, long time.

After a while.

This highly respected old professor slowly leaned back in his chair,

an uncontrollable low chuckle escaping his throat.

The laughter grew louder until finally, he couldn't help but slap the table, laughing until tears of age streamed down his face.

"Hahahaha..."

"This fellow..."

He shook his head as he laughed, his tone carrying unmistakable amazement and admiration.

"He isn't immersed in his own world!"

"He is fighting with his pen..."