183: Guilt and confusion

Bai Jie carried her simple luggage, walking slowly through the narrow and familiar alleys of Xiagang New Village.

It was evening, and the old residential buildings on both sides of the alley were lit with sporadic lights. The air was filled with the smell of cooking fumes from various households and the scent of damp, un-dried laundry.

Miscellaneous items were piled in the corners, and a few children ran past her, chasing each other.

All of this formed a sharp and stinging contrast with the spacious, bright, neat, and elegant apartment of Sister Qin.

She walked to the slightly dilapidated residential building where she lived, stopped, and subconsciously looked up.

The familiar window on the fourth floor emitted a dim yellow light, indicating that her husband—her husband by law—had already returned.

However, Bai Jie felt her footsteps were unusually heavy, and she was reluctant to climb the stairs.

Behind that window, it was no longer the warm harbor she longed to return to, but rather a prison cage that was about to drag her back into a dull and oppressive reality.

In the end, she took a deep breath and walked up the stairs.

Pushing open the creaking security door, a mixture of cigarette smoke and leftover food smells rushed towards her.

Although it was a one-bedroom apartment, the space was still cramped and stifling.

The living room, which doubled as a dining room, had a folding table and a few plastic stools, with miscellaneous items she couldn't bear to throw away piled in the corner.

The bedroom door was open, and one could see the double bed that occupied most of the space and a simple wardrobe stuffed full.

Compared to the spacious, bright, elegantly decorated house she had just left—where even the bathroom had separate wet and dry areas—everything here appeared so old and oppressive.

It felt as if even the air had stagnated, causing her mood, which had just slightly relaxed, to sink instantly, making it almost hard to breathe.

Her husband was sitting at the small table eating a simple fast-food meal. Hearing the door open, he looked up at her, his eyes flickering, then quickly lowered his head and said vaguely, 'You're back?'

His tone was flat, even carrying a trace of imperceptible embarrassment and guilt.

'Yeah,' Bai Jie replied softly, putting her luggage in the corner.

A suffocating silence hung between the two.

Bai Jie looked at her husband's shifty eyes and his dispirited appearance, and a wave of complex emotions welled up in her heart.

She remembered discovering earlier that he had gone gambling secretly again, and might have even lost what little savings the family had left. At that time, she felt despair and anger...

But strangely, recently he suddenly seemed like a changed person, no longer going out to mess around, going to work on time every day. Although he was taciturn, he seemed to have really quit gambling.

She thought her husband's current guilt and silence were because he felt ashamed for losing money gambling and almost destroying this home.

She sighed inwardly. Perhaps... he finally knew he was wrong?

Although the family savings were gone, as long as he was willing to turn over a new leaf, they could slowly muddle through, right?

She did not know that behind her husband's short-lived 'turning over a new leaf' hid a dirty transaction and a complete betrayal.

She didn't even know that she had already, unknowingly, become the bargaining chip for her husband to pay off his gambling debts that night.

And Bai Jie herself was also being consumed by a huge sense of guilt within...

She clearly remembered how restless she was last night, ultimately failing to lock the bedroom door, and how, under that man's unquestionable approach, she went from initial panic and helplessness to, later... unable to resist the urge to give up resistance.

That scorching heat that made her heart race, that out-of-control palpitation, was like a newly branded mark, deeply embedded in the depths of her perception, unable to be shaken off...

Facing this husband of hers by law, although he had faults, her behavior last night was a real betrayal, which made her feel ashamed and unable to face him...

Dinner was spent in an extremely oppressive atmosphere.

The two ate mechanically, exchanging perfunctory sentences—'How's work?' 'It's okay.' 'Is everything okay at home?' 'It's fine.'...

The dry conversation only highlighted the huge gap between their hearts.

After dinner, Bai Jie silently cleaned up the dishes, then took her clothes and went into the small, even somewhat damp bathroom to shower.

The warm water washed over her body, but she couldn't wash away the chaos in her heart and that secret sense of betrayal.

When she finished showering and walked out wearing a slightly old-fashioned silk nightgown that still outlined her mature curves, her wet hair draped over her shoulders, her skin glowing with a faint pink from the steam, exuding a lazy and sexy aura after a bath.

Her husband, sitting on the small sofa, turned his head at the sound. Seeing his wife's alluring appearance under the light, familiar desire ignited in his eyes uncontrollably.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had been intimate with his wife.

His throat bobbed, and he subconsciously stood up and walked slowly towards Bai Jie.

Bai Jie also stared at him blankly. If it were in the past, seeing this look from her husband, he would have long since rushed over impatiently.

For some reason, at this moment, she had no great expectation in her heart, but rather a trace of inexplicable resistance.

The man walked to within two steps of her, but suddenly, as if hit by something, he stopped abruptly.

Before his eyes, the cold and oppressive voice of that young man seemed to surface again... and the terrible rumors about that man he had heard later...

With a jolt, he instantly sobered up.

The alluring wife in front of him... no longer belonged to him.

He had even personally pushed her to that terrifying man's side.

A huge sense of humiliation, fear, and loss instantly extinguished all his lust.

The light in his eyes quickly faded, and like someone who had lost his soul, he silently and dejectedly turned and walked back to the sofa, sat down heavily, and held his head in pain...

Bai Jie looked at her husband's sudden change in confusion, not understanding why he was like this.

But immediately, Li Zhan's deep and overbearing eyes flashed in her mind, as well as his strong physique and refusal to accept rejection...

She seemed to understand something, her heart filled with complex emotions, which finally turned into an inaudible sigh.

She didn't say anything, just silently turned and walked back to the room.

Standing in front of the old vanity mirror in the small bedroom, she looked at herself in the mirror...

The woman in the mirror had a hint of melancholy between her brows, but it still couldn't hide that mature charm and intellectual temperament that had been nourished.

She found herself subconsciously comparing herself to the young and naive Xiao Qian, and that charming Sister Qin...

This thought made her feel a burst of shame and panic.

She lay back on the not-so-spacious bed, looking at the old water stains on the ceiling, her eyes hollow.

Where would the road ahead lead?

She felt lost.