3: Chapter 3 What is Dimensional Reduction Attack?

Yu Liang stood up and made a "please" gesture: "Ms. Ma Sichun, that depends on how much dowry you're offering."

Ma Sichun was so angry she threw her cue cards: "You're unemployed, and you're asking me for a dowry?!"

The entire audience laughed uncontrollably.

---

When Wang Churan took the stage, she was visibly nervous. She stood before the microphone and took a deep breath.

"Hello everyone, I'm Wang Churan. Before I came today, my roommate asked me, 'It's your first time on Roast!, are you nervous?' I said I was okay."

"She asked why? I said because Yu Liang is coming too."

She glanced at Yu Liang: "With him here, everyone's firepower will definitely be focused on him. I'm safe."

The audience laughed.

"Actually, I haven't known Brother Liang for long, but he left a very deep impression on me. Because the first time we met, he said something to me that I still haven't forgotten."

The whole audience pricked up their ears.

Wang Churan held back a laugh: "He said, 'Girl, with your waist-to-hip ratio, you're suited for flared pants.'"

Yu Liang immediately slumped onto the table.

The whole audience went wild with laughter.

Ma Sichun shouted from below the stage: "See, I told you he wasn't a decent fashion blogger!"

Wang Churan waited for the laughter to die down a bit and continued: "I was quite moved at the time, thinking this senior was really helpful. It wasn't until later that I found out—"

"That's exactly how he became famous."

"Giving fashion advice to every girl on Douyin."

She looked at Yu Liang, her eyes filled with amusement: "Brother Liang, I just want to ask one thing: exactly how many girls have you suggested wear micro-flared pants?"

Yu Liang raised his hand from below the stage: "You're the first, really."

"I don't believe you."

"Really. For everyone else, I suggested wide-leg pants."

"Because farts are too loud in flared pants."

Wang Churan was stunned.

The entire audience burst into laughter again.

---

Afterward, Chizi, Jianguo, and the others took the stage.

The roasting mostly revolved around titles like the 'Deyun Society Crown Princess Consort,' 'Widowed and Unemployed,' and the 'father of pants,' repeatedly beating a dead horse.

Yu Liang smiled through the whole beating.

Finally, it was his turn to take the stage.

He stood up, straightened his collar, and walked up unhurriedly.

He stood still.

Silence for three seconds.

Then he spoke:

"Hello everyone, I'm Yu Liang. After listening to everyone's roasts just now, I have only one feeling—"

He paused.

"I finally know why Deyun Society won't schedule any performances for me."

"Because backstage, that's exactly how I roast my fellow disciples."

The audience was stunned for a moment, then erupted into the loudest laughter of the night.

Li Dan clapped from below the stage: "Good! An Ad-lib!"

Yu Liang waited for the laughter to subside and continued: "When Teacher Zhang Shaogang introduced me just now, he called me the 'father of pants.'"

"Teacher Zhang, I really don't dare claim that title. I'm just an unemployed Crosstalk actor who left a casual comment; who knew it would blow up like this?"

"If I had that kind of ability, I would have commented myself into a commercial show at Deyun Society long ago."

The audience laughed.

"Besides, the title 'father of pants' is too heavy. Think about it, what does 'Father' mean? It means taking responsibility."

"If the whole internet starts wearing silk under their pants and something goes wrong, will everyone come looking for me?"

"I'm an unemployed person who can't even figure out my own performances; how can I manage the outfits of every girl on the internet?"

Ma Sichun was laughing so hard she was slapping her thighs.

Yu Liang looked at Li Dan: "Boss Dan said just now that I don't spend time thinking about how to 'shake out' jokes, but spend all day thinking about how to 'shake out' pants."

"Boss Dan, I have to correct you."

"I think about shaking out jokes, and I also think about shaking out pants."

He made a shaking motion.

"Because these two things have one thing in common—they both rely on the waist."

Li Dan laughed so hard he slid off his chair.

Yu Liang continued: "And Li Dan said he wants to transition into being a fashion blogger. I advise you to be cautious. Not because you're not good-looking, but because—"

He took a serious look at Li Dan's bald head.

"The most important thing for a fashion blogger is having a lot of hair so it's easy to change hairstyles. Your head... tsk, it's like a machine gun."

Li Dan: "?"

Yu Liang: "Tu-tu-tu-tu-tu..."

The whole audience went crazy with laughter.

Li Dan: "Deduct money for the pun!"

Chizi shouted from below: "Oh my god! That punchline really landed!"

Yu Liang turned to Ma Sichun: "Ms. Ma Sichun just asked me if I'm too indecisive because I do whatever the netizens tell me to do."

"Ms. Ma, I have to explain. This isn't called being indecisive; it's called 'listening to advice.' Listening to advice is a virtue, didn't you know?"

"Besides, I don't listen to everything. When the netizens told me to marry you, I didn't agree."

Ma Sichun shouted: "Say that again?!"

Yu Liang quickly said: "No, I mean—I have to ask how much the dowry is first. After all, I'm 'widowed and unemployed,' I have to be frugal."

The whole audience was in stitches.

Finally, Yu Liang looked at Wang Churan.

"Churan said just now that the fashion advice I gave her was flared pants. This girl has a really good memory to even remember that."

He smiled.

"But Churan, have you ever thought about one thing—I said you were suited for flared pants because your body proportions are indeed good, that's the truth. But more importantly—"

He paused, his tone suddenly becoming serious.

"I was on the film set back then, and I saw you, a student from the Shanghai Theatre Academy. When you didn't have any scenes, you didn't leave; you just sat in the corner watching the seniors act."

"At noon when everyone else went to eat, you were still there practicing expressions in front of a mirror."

Actually, this part wasn't just about Wang Churan; it was also about his past self in his previous life.

Wang Churan was stunned.

"I thought then, this girl will definitely become famous. That's why I looked for a chance to talk to you and give you fashion advice."

He paused, his tone suddenly becoming lighthearted again.

"Of course, there's one more reason."

"Flared pants really do make legs look longer."

The whole room was silent for a second, then thunderous applause broke out.

Wang Churan's eyes reddened as she clapped vigorously.

Yu Liang shrugged, returning to his playful, grinning self: "Of course, if you insist on saying I only approached you because of your waist-to-hip ratio, I can't help that. After all—"

He spread his hands.

"As you all said just now, I'm just such a shallow fashion blogger."

The audience laughed.

His tone shifted again, and he put away his smile.

"Actually, Chizi was right just now. Most people's perception of me is basically two things—Guo Qilin's former partner and the 'father of pants.'"

"Sometimes I wonder, if I hadn't become famous on Douyin, would you still have invited me?"

He looked around; the audience was silent.

"So I'm especially grateful to the netizens on Douyin. They taught me a lesson."

"In this life, the hardest thing isn't being cursed at, but having no one even bother to curse at you."

"When I was unemployed, no one at the Deyun Society backstage would talk to me, I had zero interactions on Weibo, and no one recognized me on the street."

"That's when I realized that for an actor, the scariest thing isn't controversy, but being forgotten."

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"So being able to stand here today, to be roasted and teased by you, is actually a very happy thing for me."

"Thank you for remembering me."

He paused, his voice lowering.

"Also, as a newcomer in the entertainment industry, like Churan, I have a dream of becoming a good actor."

"It's just that her starting point was the Shanghai Theatre Academy, and mine was the backstage of Crosstalk."

"But it doesn't matter."

He smiled, a smile that was a bit bitter and a bit stubborn.

"The paths are different, as long as the destination is the same."

He bowed to the audience.

"I'm Yu Liang, an unemployed Crosstalk actor. Thank you, everyone."

The applause and cheers almost blew the roof off.

Zhang Shaogang walked onto the stage, laughing and shaking his head: "I've hosted so many episodes of Roast!, and this is the first time I've seen a guest being roasted turn the entire show into a personal solo performance."

Li Dan shouted from below: "A dimensional strike! This is absolutely a dimensional strike!"

Ma Sichun stood up and clapped: "Now I know why he's unemployed at Deyun Society—because he's too strong, so strong he has no friends!"

Yu Liang walked back to the guest seats.

Wang Churan handed him a bottle of water and whispered: "Brother Liang, that part about watching me on the film set... was it true?"

Yu Liang unscrewed the cap and took a sip, saying nonchalantly: "Fake, I made it up."

Wang Churan's eyes widened.

"I just approached you because your waist-to-hip ratio was good."

"...Yu Liang, get lost!"

Yu Liang laughed and dodged the tissue box she threw at him.

But what he didn't say was—

Those words were true.

In his previous life, he was a martial arts stunt double on film sets, always standing behind the leads, never showing his face, with no one ever remembering his name.

Back then, he had developed a habit: observing everyone from the corners of the set.

Because only those who hide in the corners truly understand what others in the corners are thinking.

---

That night, the official Weibo of "Roast!" released a trailer.

Yu Liang's line "the most important thing for a fashion blogger is having a lot of hair" was edited into the trailer, paired with Li Dan's look of utter despair, instantly hitting the trending searches.

#Yu Liang Roasts Li Dan's Hair Volume# Trending at 7th

#father of pants Ad-libs Live# Trending at 15th

#Yu Liang Dimensional Strike# Trending at 23rd

One hour after the trailer was released, views surpassed five million.

The comment section went wild:

["No script the whole time! Is this the foundation of a Crosstalk actor? This is way too strong!"]

["Li Dan was left speechless, I'm laughing like a maniac."]

["I've rewatched the part where Ma Sichun asks about the dowry ten times!"]

["Yu Liang: I'm a shallow fashion blogger. Me: Shallow my ass, you're a freaking genius!"]

["Requesting the full version! The trailer isn't enough!"]