38: Chapter 38 Big Yellow Girl

"Yu Liang, come over and play 'Count the Horses'." Teacher He gestured from his cushion.

Da Hua had just gone to take a shower, leaving an empty spot. Yu Liang sat down in the corner of the sofa.

Teacher He smiled mysteriously and clapped twice. "Listen up—guess how many horses there are?"

They played several rounds, and the result of the horse-counting game was a foregone conclusion.

Yu Liang was the first to guess correctly every time, with Judge Yang Mi following closely behind.

Dilraba and Tong Liya remained in a state of "Who am I and where am I?" the entire time.

Qi Wei simply gave up on thinking; every time Teacher He finished clapping, she would randomly shout out a number, ranging from three to eighteen, perfectly avoiding all the correct answers.

"I'm done, I'm not playing anymore."

Qi Wei pushed the cushion away. "Playing this game with you smart people is just no fun."

"Exactly," Tong Liya agreed. "Every time it's Yu Liang and Mimi who guess it right, while Dilraba and I are left completely in the dark."

Teacher He asked with a smile, "Yu Liang, do you want to reveal the secret to everyone?"

Yu Liang glanced at the still-bewildered group and spoke up:

"Actually, this game has nothing to do with the number of claps. The key is how many characters the person asking the question uses. Just now, Teacher He said 'Guess how many horses there are'—that's six characters, so the answer is six."

Dilraba was stunned.

She recalled all the previous rounds and realized that the number of characters in Teacher He's questions had been different every time.

She turned to look at Yu Liang, her eyes filled with the grievance of "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"I thought you all knew," Yu Liang said, looking innocent.

To be honest, even he felt that whoever came up with this game was a bit mentally challenged.

Qi Wei was so annoyed she threw the cushion at him.

Teacher He laughed and held down the cushion, suggesting, "How about we switch games? What about tongue twisters?"

"Are you sure?" Qi Wei perked up immediately, gesturing toward Yu Liang with her chin. "We've got a Crosstalk performer right here, Teacher He."

"So what if he's a Crosstalk performer?" Teacher He raised his hand, his tone excited. "If a Crosstalk performer can't beat us at tongue twisters, that would be truly exciting."

Judge Yang Mi glanced at Teacher He, understanding that he was trying to give the newcomer a chance to shine. She didn't speak, just picked up her teacup, the corners of her mouth curling slightly.

"Since Teacher He has said so," Yu Liang sat up straight, a rare spark of competitiveness rising within him, "then I won't hold back. If anyone can repeat this tongue twister of mine perfectly, you win—"

He paused and looked around.

"Never mind, you don't need to do the whole thing. If you can repeat just two lines, I'll admit defeat."

So arrogant?

Teacher Huang had been leaning on the sofa, but upon hearing this, he couldn't help but put down his phone and tilt his ear. The girls also perked up; Dilraba even sat forward, looking ready to challenge him.

Yu Liang cleared his throat: "Xishi used to inhale rare excrement, Xizi often picked up fine silk. In the past, Xishi liked to eat rare persimmons; now, Xishi regrets losing fine silk..."

The whole room went quiet for a full second.

"What on earth are you saying?" Qi Wei was the first to speak.

Why is it all about runny stuff and shit? We're recording a show here, can't you say something broadcastable?

"We can't broadcast this, Yu Liang." Teacher He shook his head with a smile.

Dilraba was actually serious; she whispered it twice, but by the third line, her tongue tied in a knot, and she covered her mouth, her ear tips turning red.

"My turn." Qi Wei rolled up her sleeves, putting on a grand show. "Xishi used to inhale—inhale what again?" She stared wide-eyed at Yu Liang.

Yu Liang repeated it without changing his expression, even faster than before.

Qi Wei opened her mouth but just couldn't keep up. She turned and pushed Tong Liya forward. "Sister Yaya, you go!"

Tong Liya got to the second line and mispronounced "fine silk" as "fine wet". She laughed first, waving her hand and saying it wouldn't work.

Teacher Huang sat up straight. "Is it really that hard? Let me try."

He got to the third line and said "fine shit" instead of "fine silk".

The room went quiet for another half-second.

Teacher He was the first to break, collapsing onto his cushion with laughter. Judge Yang Mi laughed so hard she leaned backward, bracing herself against the coffee table to keep from falling. Tong Liya covered her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Dilraba was laughing so hard she couldn't speak, slapping the floor.

Teacher Huang laughed too, waving his hand. "Not fun, not fun, next. Whose rotten idea was it to challenge a Crosstalk performer to a tongue twister?"

"Teacher Huang, are you cheating?" Qi Wei pointed out mercilessly.

"Who's cheating?" Teacher Huang said, feigning indignation, then rolled his eyes. "How about we play Truth or Dare instead?"

As he said this, he glanced at the plate of unfinished braised green beans nearby; he had already thought up the dare punishment.

"Truth or Dare?" The girls went quiet for a moment, then nodded one after another.

"Sure!" "Okay."

Yu Liang also clapped to agree. "Alright, let's do it."

Teacher He took eight cards out of a drawer—six hearts and two spades. He shuffled them and spread them on the table, and everyone drew one.

Those who drew a spade had to choose between a truth or a dare punishment.

In the first round, Dilraba and Yu Liang drew the spades.

The two looked at each other and both chose Truth.

Teacher He looked at the golden couple before him, the curve of his mouth meaningful. He turned to Dilraba first. "Dilraba, if you had a boyfriend, what moment would make you think he is particularly well-mannered?"

Dilraba thought for a moment and said seriously, "Having boundaries when interacting with the opposite sex, I suppose."

She didn't elaborate. But earlier while playing the game, Da Hua kept leaning toward her unconsciously, and she had to keep moving aside. Later, when it was Yu Liang's turn to sit over, he first moved his cushion further away, creating a distance between them.

That single action was something Dilraba took note of.

"Hmm, that's a very good answer." Teacher He nodded, then held his fist up to Yu Liang, imitating a host's tone. "Your turn, Yu Liang. The same question bounced back to you: what moment would make your girlfriend think you are particularly well-mannered?"

Yu Liang replied: "When I see her, I will take the initiative to let go of other girls' hands."

Nani?

Dilraba frowned. She had just finished talking about boundaries, and he hit her with this—is this guy allergic to dating or what?

Judge Yang Mi glanced at Yu Liang. No way, is this guy really trying to build a scumbag persona?

Teacher He coughed twice, controlling the situation in time. "That's clearly just a joke. Come on, come on, draw cards."

In this round, one of the people who drew a spade was Yu Liang, and the other was Peng Peng.

However, the person asking the question this time was Judge Yang Mi.

"Yu Liang, do you have a girlfriend?"

When Judge Yang Mi finished asking, everyone looked at Yu Liang in unison.

Yu Liang shook his head. "No."

"You've never dated?" Tong Liya clearly didn't believe it.

How could such a handsome guy not have a partner?

"Really, I haven't." Yu Liang confirmed.

Teacher Huang frowned. "You aren't gay, are you?"

Yu Liang acted shy. "I didn't expect Teacher Huang to be so 'old-0' too. Actually, Teacher Huang, to be honest, although I'm a guy, deep down I identify as a woman. At the same time, I'm a lesbian, and a top one at that."

Qi Wei and the others couldn't process it, but Teacher He couldn't help but roll his eyes at Yu Liang. "After all that, aren't you still a guy!"

"Tch, you might as well have said you were gay. Come on, Teacher He, let's go to the next round." Judge Yang Mi said.

"Hey, wait, no one asked me my truth yet!"

Peng Peng, standing on the side like he was invisible, felt aggrieved.

He muttered to himself, "If that doesn't work, just give me a dare."

Afterward, everyone flipped the cards back over and shuffled them. "No one is allowed to choose Truth this round."

Teacher Huang began setting the rules.

Seeing that it was getting dark, his witch's poison had yet to be used.

The next day, just as dawn was breaking.

Yu Liang and Teacher Huang had squeezed into a shared bed all night; tossing and turning, he hadn't slept well, so he got up before it was fully light.

The morning breeze in the mountains carried the chill of dew, blowing in from outside the courtyard wall. The hens in the corner of the yard were still huddled in their coop, and even Cailiang hadn't started its morning patrol.

He changed into his practice clothes and started stretching his legs in the courtyard to warm up.

Peng Peng came out of the house, rubbing his eyes, and froze when he saw Yu Liang in the yard. "Brother Liang, do you get up this early every day?"

"I'm used to it." Yu Liang was stretching his legs, not even turning his head.

Before long, Da Hua was also dragged out from under his covers by Peng Peng. The two stood in the courtyard, watching Yu Liang warm up—stretching legs, rotating the waist, loosening muscles—every movement was clean and crisp.

"Do you two want to learn?" Yu Liang noticed their gaze.

Both nodded in unison.

"Alright, warm up first. Come on—" Yu Liang stood straight, legs slightly apart. "Bend your left hand outward and hook it inward, stretch your right hand forcefully toward the back, and slowly rotate your head clockwise—"

He paused.

"And rotate your tongue counter-clockwise at the same time."

Peng Peng froze for a second, then started clumsily imitating him. His arms and head were moving independently, like an uncalibrated robot. Da Hua was learning seriously; his face flushed red, his tongue twisted into a ball in his mouth, and he was almost drooling.

Ten seconds later.

"Got it?" Yu Liang asked.

Peng Peng nodded. "Got it."

Yu Liang thought to himself: You got nothing. This isn't a warm-up exercise at all; it's a test of obedience.

"Go—t it." Da Hua's face was contorted as he mumbled the words.

Yu Liang turned around and was startled enough by Da Hua's expression to step back.

Holy crap—no way, this guy can still talk with his tongue tied? Nothing can stop him.

"Tell me, what do you two want to learn from me?"

After the warm-up, Yu Liang looked at them.

"Brother Liang," Peng Peng leaned in, lowering his voice. "You taught us to chop wood last night, and today you're teaching us warm-ups—is there anything, you know... that could make girls look at us a little more?"

After all, they had noticed the way the girls like Qi Wei looked at Yu Liang.

They had originally thought it was because Yu Liang could chop wood.

But later, after they learned how to chop wood, they realized that wasn't it.

Just like Wu Gang, no matter how many times he chops the tree, it won't make Chang'e in the Moon Palace look at him twice.

And all Chang'e thinks about is Hou Yi, who once shot down nine suns in one day.

Peng Peng and Da Hua were very moved.

In their hearts, Yu Liang was just like Hou Yi.

Able to shoot the sun nine times a day when the earth was parched, making the vegetation lush again.

Da Hua nodded along, his face filled with a thirst for knowledge.

Yu Liang looked at the two of them.

The sincerity on Peng Peng's face and the longing in Da Hua's eyes suddenly made him unable to refuse. These two—one too honest, one trying too hard—neither were the type born to turn heads.

Although they couldn't be as handsome as Yu Liang, they wanted to have their own special skills just like him.

Seeing how eager they were to learn, Yu Liang gave them a crash course in martial arts knowledge.

"As everyone knows, there are two great martial arts skills in the world of martial arts. One is the One-Yang Finger, with infinitely changing, fierce, and domineering techniques."

"And the other is the Lion's Roar."

"However, few people know that there are two peerless martial arts skills that transcend those two."

"Those are the Southern Fist and Northern Palm. What I practice is the Northern Palm's Iron Sand Palm. This technique has a lineage and requires formal initiation, which you don't meet the conditions for yet."

"But you can learn the Southern Fist. I see one of you knows dance and the other knows finger-dancing, so you have a bit of a foundation. Your style is also known as 'Southern-Child'."

Yu Liang introduced, "Actually, this style of fist is very easy to learn; it's just a bit painful when you spar with each other."

After finishing, Yu Liang briefly taught them some techniques.

As for why it was brief, it was because he hadn't learned it either.

To him, attracting girls didn't require much effort.

In his view, chasing girls boiled down to three things: simple to the end, persistent, and unyielding.

After the show aired, Yu Liang's iconic moments at Mushroom House were edited into various clips and went viral online.

Chopping wood, the tongue twisters, instantly figuring out the rules of the horse-counting game, cutting off Teacher Huang's question "You aren't gay, are you?" without changing his expression...

Some even compared his screenshots to the "Four Beauties of Tianya," and the comment section had thousands of arguments.

But what he didn't expect was the chain reaction caused by Qi Wei's comment "He's so tall."

His video comment section was completely overrun.

[His wood-chopping moves are so handsome, who gets it?]

[What kind of good guy wears a tank top under his shirt? Who is he guarding against? So annoying!]

[Sisters, I'm at the high lake.]

[No no, I want to go to Handan and Tianjin.]

A prototype of a trending topic called #YuLiangBallSack# even appeared.

When Yu Liang scrolled through it, he was silent for several seconds.

He considered himself an old pro, but compared to this bunch of rowdy girls, his skills were nothing but small-time dirtiness compared to theirs.

Sure enough, when women start driving, men really have no chance.

As he was scrolling, one comment made him stop.

A hardcore fan with the nickname "QQ Liangliang," in order to pay homage to Yu Liang, went to a video by a female streamer in black stockings and left a comment: [Can I add you? I'm gay, I'm usually ostracized by guys, I feel stupid, I want to be sisters with you.]

As it turned out, the beautiful streamer didn't reply.

A group of guys swarmed in: Added you, bro.

Yu Liang subconsciously checked the IP location.

Hmm, the Kingdom of Heaven, the IP is correct!

The fan was so scared he replied overnight: [Don't, bro, I have a girlfriend, don't pine for me.]

Yu Liang couldn't help it and left a comment below.

A few seconds later, the fan's private messages exploded!

His comment section was screenshotted, featuring the line that Yu Liang had personally replied to, and it went viral across the entire internet.

On the screen, Yu Liang's reply was just one line:

"Bears like you are very popular in the gay scene—in their eyes, even if you have a girlfriend, you're still a virgin."

Wang Churan's message popped up at this moment.

"Yu Liang, did you go to 'Longing for Life'?"

"Yeah."

"Ah—I really like Teacher He! By the way, is Teacher Huang's cooking good?"

Yu Liang stared at the screen, hesitated for a moment, and typed four words: "It's complicated."

"What do you mean? The internet says Teacher Huang's cooking is top-notch."

"Yeah, the 'top-notch' of a Breaking Bad chemist." Yu Liang replied.

Wang Churan sent an emoji with a head full of question marks.

"By the way, I heard from Da Lin that you've already gone to Hengdian?" Yu Liang changed the subject.

"Yeah, we've been here for half a month, shooting interior scenes."

Just as Yu Liang was about to reply, the door was pushed open.

Zhou Jiajia walked in, as capable and cold as ever. She wore a black suit skirt and held a folder in her hand.

"This is the notice for joining the crew that the company just issued to you."

Yu Liang put down his phone, took the document, and opened the first page.