Chapter 5: A Hilarious First Appearance of Scattered English, Netizens Go Crazy with Laughter

Lu Jingming stood on those wobbly, dilapidated wooden planks.

Above his head was the scorching sun, and beneath his feet were two red bricks with missing corners.

There was a noisy buzz from the audience.

Brother Biao, with his shaved head, was shaking his leg, chewing on a toothpick, and looking at Lu Jingming with an expression that screamed, "This guy is mentally disabled."

"Young Master Lu, is your microphone leaking electricity? Don't go and electrocute yourself."

Several bosses from Huaqiangbei joined in the jeering, laughing until they were bent over.

That Boss Liu, with his beer belly, was rolling two walnuts in his hand, his eyes filled with disdain.

"Looking at this setup, I'm afraid he's going to sing a song of prison tears to beg for mercy in front of everyone."

The reporter with black-rimmed glasses sighed, bored, and twisted open a bottle of mineral water.

"This bankrupt factory has really given up on itself. I don't even know how to write this article."

Niu Dazhuang stood by the steps, frantically rubbing the sweat from his palms.

He hung his head, wishing he could dig a hole in the ground right there and bury himself.

This makeshift setup was truly too embarrassing.

Lu Jingming wasn't annoyed; instead, he reached out and tapped the microphone.

The "thump-thump" muffled sound slammed onto the open ground through the broken speakers, suppressing the noise below.

He took a deep breath and swept his gaze calmly across the entire venue.

Everyone was waiting for him to cry about his poverty.

Or waiting for him to take out some crudely made knockoff phone and brag about unrealistic specifications.

As it turned out, Lu Jingming raised the microphone and blurted out a sentence directly.

"Hello, thank you!"

The whole venue suddenly went quiet.

Even the sound of the wind blowing against that tattered curtain could be heard clearly.

Brother Biao's mouth hung half-open, and the toothpick in his mouth fell onto the asphalt road with a "plop."

Lu Jingming didn't care; he stuck one hand into his jeans pocket, his confidence skyrocketing.

He cleared his throat, faced the lenses of several cameras, and continued his output.

"Are you OK?"

It was a heavy, broken Chinese-style accent.

Coupled with that dead-serious demeanor, which even carried a hint of an international business mogul's style.

This jarring sense of contrast hit the crowd like a depth charge.

The black-rimmed reporter, who was just drinking water, sprayed it all out with a "pfft" sound.

Water droplets instantly covered the back of Boss Liu's bald head in front.

"Cough, cough! Damn it, what is this guy doing?"

The reporter wiped his mouth while frantically pressing the shutter button like a madman.

Brother Biao realized what happened and laughed until tears almost came out.

He clutched his stomach, squatted straight down on the ground, and pointed at Lu Jingming on the stage.

"Oh my god! Lu Jingming, have you been driven crazy by debt collectors?"

"Talking foreign languages with me here? You must have learned this English from a PE teacher!"

Boss Liu took out a handkerchief to wipe the water off the back of his head and also joined in the laughter.

"Young Master Lu, with your level of English, you could earn enough to buy a house just by storytelling under an overpass!"

The yellow-haired lackeys below even started whistling like hooligans.

The entire abandoned square instantly turned into a huge comedy stage.

Lu Jingming didn't care about the mockery from below at all.

The system notification sound in his mind was currently exploding like festive firecrackers.

[Ding! Received astonishment from the Huaqiangbei bosses, Break Defense Value +50!]

[Ding! Received speechlessness from the reporter, Break Defense Value +30!]

[Ding! Detected that the host's behavior triggered group emotional fluctuations, Break Defense Value is continuously increasing...]

In just these few short minutes.

On the largest digital forum in the country, "Jifeng Forum," a post was silently pushed to the top with red text.

Title: 《Live! Donghai Bankrupt Electronics Factory Press Conference, the Factory Manager's Broken English is Hilarious!》

The black-rimmed reporter had fast hands and immediately uploaded the snapshot he had just taken.

He also attached a blurry video recorded with a bar phone.

That addictive, brain-washing "Are you OK" echoed in a loop on the webpage.

The originally quiet digital forum was like a red-hot branding iron thrown into it, instantly exploding.

The replies below were jumping frantically at a rate of dozens per second.

"Holy crap, is this boss a crosstalk comedian? This accent is too catchy!"

"I was just eating instant noodles in an internet cafe, and I sprayed the broth all over the screen. The internet cafe manager is chasing me with a broom."

"Is this a mobile phone press conference? This is a tryout for a comedy show, right?"

"What's this guy's name? Lu Jingming? The prodigal son of Xinghai Electronics Factory?"

"This factory can't even afford to rent a venue; the phone they made is probably just an expensive toy."

"Waiting for the OP to update, I want to see what other stunts this guy can pull!"

The popularity was skyrocketing.

Not just in the digital circle, this post began to spread virally to other forums and QQ groups.

Netizens, with the mentality of watching a mentally disabled person, frantically forwarded these addictive GIFs.

In this era that hadn't fully entered the mobile internet age yet.

This kind of shameless, bottom-line-free reverse marketing was simply a dimensional strike.

Lu Jingming stood on the stage, looking at the Break Defense Value in his mind that had already exceeded 50,000.

The smile at the corner of his mouth grew thicker.

Isn't this more effective than spending millions to hire a celebrity spokesperson?

He raised the microphone in his hand and pressed it down.

"Everyone, have you laughed enough?"

There were still a few yellow-haired guys below covering their mouths and giggling.

Lu Jingming's expression tightened, and his tone suddenly became firm, carrying an unquestionable dominance.

"If you've laughed enough, then open your eyes and see clearly."

He snapped his fingers and pointed at the tattered cloth fluttering in the wind behind him.

"Niu Dazhuang, bring up the slides."

Niu Dazhuang scrambled to squat by the side of the stage and hit the Enter key hard on an old laptop.

"Hum—"

The projector shot out a dim yellow beam of light, hitting the tattered cloth directly.

There were no cool 3D rotating animations, and no high-end rendered background images.

There was only black background with white text, crudely smashed into the center of the screen.

A line of large characters was written on it.

"xinghai generation 1: Cures all kinds of dissatisfaction."

When Boss Liu saw this slogan, which looked like street stall literature, he sneered again.

"Playing tricks. Why don't you take it out and let us see how it 'cures' dissatisfaction?"

"Don't tell me you're just putting a rock inside a plastic shell to fool us here, right?"

Brother Biao also took a step forward, his steel pipe pounding on the ground.

"Exactly! If you can't bring out the real deal today."

"For this two-million debt, I won't just take your factory; you won't be able to escape this beating either!"

Lu Jingming didn't speak; he reached into his dark blue jeans pocket.

He fished out a dark iron lump.

That thing was square, without any streamlined design, and as thick and heavy as a shrunken version of a brick.

The reporter quickly raised his camera, aiming the lens at that strange object.

"What is this? This thickness must be 1.5 centimeters, right?"

"Phones nowadays are all being made thinner; why is he doing the opposite?"

Lu Jingming held that heavy phone and tapped it twice forcefully on the metal mesh of the microphone.

"Clang! Clang!"

The dull, solid metallic clashing sound spread throughout the venue through the speakers.

This was definitely not a sound that ordinary plastic could make.

"To be honest with everyone, our phone really doesn't have any fancy features."

Lu Jingming paused for a moment, his gaze sweeping playfully toward Brother Biao and Boss Liu who were standing at the very front.

"However, it should be more than enough to smash your scrap metal to pieces."

He turned his head and looked at the burly man still in a daze under the steps.

"Dazhuang, go borrow a hammer, and by the way, ask these bosses below who is willing to take their prototype phones up here to clash with ours?"