95: A dissolute past

[When you were three years old—]

[You were like a little shadow, wearing a festive red jacket, tottering behind your father to the merchant guild, or lying on your mother's lap listening to her read elementary poems.]

[You would recite 'Heaven and Earth, Black and Yellow' with a lisp, but halfway through it would turn into 'Candy...candy cake...', making your parents laugh heartily and quickly send for snacks.]

[When you were five years old—]

[This was a turning point in your life.]

[Your father performed your first formal Aptitude test.]

[The 'Heavenly Meridian Spirit Pearl' used to test martial Dao Aptitude glowed dimly, and the result was clear—blocked Meridians, a weak body, practically the Aptitude of a 'waste' unable to Cultivate.]

[The atmosphere in the ancestral hall instantly froze.]

[You looked blankly at your parents' faces, which instantly dimmed but forced smiles, as if you understood something. For the first time, you lowered your little head, and your mood became low.]

[From that day on, you seemed to know that you couldn't meet your parents' expectations in the martial Dao.]

[When you were six years old—]

[Perhaps to compensate, or perhaps to make you happy, your parents doted on you even more.]

[You did your first 'profligate' deed: you fancied a pot of 'Seven-Colored Glazed Orchid' that the butler meticulously cared for, insisting on picking it to wear as a hat.]

[The butler's heart ached so much he trembled, but your father waved his hand grandly: 'Pick it! As long as my son likes it!']

[Your mother also smiled gently, helping you put the flower on your head and praising you, 'You look so good.']

[Seeing your parents' tolerant and even encouraging smiles, the gloom in your heart caused by your Aptitude seemed to be dispelled, and your personality began to become pampered and willful.]

[When you were eight years old—]

[You were already the famous 'Little Tyrant' of Longyang Town.]

[You, with a few servants, 'ran rampant' through the town, demanding the biggest sugar figures at the stall and the newest toys at the toy shop.]

[The stall owners all knew that Young Master Qin was not to be provoked, and they also knew that his parents would pay ten times the price, so they all offered things with smiles.]

[You enjoyed this feeling of 'being the only one'.]

[When you were ten years old—]

[You were still the well-known Little Tyrant of Longyang Town, spoiled boundlessly by your parents.]

[However, this year, there was a small change in your life—your mother gave birth to a younger sister.]

[Your father, Qin Xiuwen, held the wrinkled, red little infant, his face beaming with unprecedented joy, even happier than when he had a son back then.]

[He held her carefully and said to you, 'Chen'er, come see your little sister. Her name is Qin Yu. From now on, you are her older brother; you must protect her.']

[You curiously leaned over, looking at the little one whimpering like a kitten, pouting your lips, not paying much attention, just feeling that your parents' attention to this new little one seemed to have increased.]

[When you were eleven years old—]

[Qin Yu was one year old. At her 'Zhua Zhou' ceremony, she tottered and accurately grabbed the small wooden sword representing the martial Dao.]

[Her small hand held it tightly, and she giggled at a 'Heavenly Meridian Spirit Pearl', causing the spirit pearl to emit a faint glow.]

[The guests were amazed, your father's eyes burst forth with astonishing brilliance, and your mother also smiled with relief.]

[You watched from the side, feeling for the first time that the laughter was a bit grating.]

[You felt your emotions towards your sister were very complex, with jealousy, envy, and also affection.]

[You decided that you would just be a profligate from now on, and leave the Family business to your sister.]

[When you were fifteen years old—]

[The five-year-old Qin Yu had already condensed a trace of True Qi within her body, far surpassing her peers.]

[One day, you were idly teasing the spirit bird in its cage when Qin Yu, having finished practicing her sword, walked through the courtyard corridor and looked at you, speaking softly yet with a hint of coolness:]

['Brother's bird is truly well-kept; its feathers are glossy, and its chirps are clear.']

['It's a pity it's confined in a golden cage, ultimately losing the wildness to soar through the Nine Heavens.']

['It's like some people, who are adorned with splendor but lack any ambition to reach the clouds, only to waste their time in this small space.']

[Your hand paused, and a look of embarrassment and anger flashed across your face, but you only snorted, deliberately shaking the birdcage louder, without turning to look at her.]

[You were indignant: 'Why is she lecturing me? What does she even know?']

[When you were sixteen years old—]

[You got into a fight over a woman in a restaurant and came home with a bruised and swollen face, although the other party was later 'persuaded' away by Qin Family guards.]

[Qin Yu was sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard, wiping her gleaming short sword. She looked up and saw your disheveled state, sighing softly:]

['Oh, which Young Master is this, and what kind of hero-saving-the-beauty act is it today? It's a pity the beauty wasn't saved, but you got hurt yourself.']

['If I were you, brother, with this spare money and time, it would be better to buy more Body Tempering medicinal ingredients, even if it's just to strengthen your body—']

['Why be... so useless, just making yourself a laughingstock.']

[Her voice wasn't loud, but every word was clear, stinging like small needles.]

[Your face burned, more painful than your wounds.]

[You clenched your fists, jealous and ashamed: 'Yes! I am useless! I can't compare to a Genius like you!']

[But seeing your sister's young yet cool face, that resentment turned into an unspeakable sense of grievance.]

[You ultimately said nothing, walking quickly past her with a dark face, your clothes rustling with a gust of wind.]

[When you were seventeen years old—]

[You were already a complete profligate in the town, while Qin Yu's swordplay had reached Minor Achievement, and her reputation had spread to neighboring towns.]

[After a small Family banquet, Qin Yu held a cup of hot tea and walked to your side, where you were leaning on the railing watching the fish. Looking at the plump koi in the pond, she said softly, as if unintentionally:]

['Look at these fish, fed every day, getting so fat, they seem quite at ease.']

['But what if one day, the feeder is gone, or the pond dries up? Can they find food themselves?']

['Can they swim upstream? Ultimately, their fate is... to never leave this shallow pond.']

[She paused, her peripheral vision sweeping over your stiff profile, and continued softly: 'Brother, what do you say, isn't that right?']

['Away from the Qin Family, away from Father and Mother, what would you and I... become?']

[These words hit your heart like a heavy hammer.]

[How could you not know that without the Family, you were nothing?]

[Your sister's words struck your deepest fears and inferiority.]

[You suddenly turned to lash out, but met your sister's eyes, which resembled your mother's but were clearer—they seemed to hold concern, yet also seemed to be merely pure contemplation.]

[All your anger instantly dissipated, leaving only endless bitterness and embarrassment.]

[You opened your mouth, and finally said hoarsely: 'You little girl, what do you know...']

[Your tone lacked its usual arrogance, instead carrying a trace of imperceptible weariness and bewilderment.]

[Your feelings for this sister were extremely complex: you envied her talent, were angry at her sharpness, yet couldn't truly dislike her. Sometimes, when she occasionally revealed worries beyond her age, you would feel a kind of brotherly affection and powerlessness.]

[When you were eighteen years old—]

[You had grown into a refined... err, profligate Young Master.]

[Dressed in lavish clothes, holding a folding fan, yet your cultivation remained stuck in the Body Tempering Early Stage, with almost no progress.]

[You frequented teahouses and taverns, your greatest achievement being becoming a VIP guest of Tianxiang Pavilion, spending your days with your cronies discussing which girl was the prettiest and which wine was the finest.]

[Your parents had long given up hope for your martial Dao, only wishing for your safety and happiness.]

[Every time you caused trouble, they would always exchange helpless smiles, then skillfully send people to quell the incident, resolving all problems with money.]

[It was in such boundless indulgence that you grew into your current self.]