348: Chapter 337 New Rules for the Three Realms: 996 Blessings? Abolish!

Tiance Plaza (formerly the ruins of Lingxiao Palace).

It was packed, bustling like a busy market.

Not only were Lin Feng's 100,000 troops there, but also surviving gods, goddesses, and warriors of the heavenly court. Even the Black and White Impermanence from the underworld and the shrimp soldiers and crab generals from the four seas had snuck in to watch the spectacle.

After all, this was the first time since Pangu created the world that someone dared to openly "change the Heavenly Rules."

Lin Feng sat on a newly redeemed leather sofa, crossing his legs, holding that iconic megaphone Magic Treasure. Behind him was a massive holographic screen, looping a highlight reel of him beating up the Jade Emperor.

"Ahem, testing, testing. One, two..."

Lin Feng cleared his throat, and his voice instantly spread throughout the Thirty-Three Heavens.

"Quiet down, everyone! You there, stop cracking melon seeds, get serious!"

The crowd fell silent instantly, hundreds of thousands of eyes fixed on him.

"I've read the Heavenly Rules established by that old Jade Emperor." Lin Feng pulled a thick golden bamboo scroll covered in dense text from his robe, looking at it with disgust, as if it were toilet paper. "It's long and stinky, just like an old woman's foot-binding cloth. No dating allowed, strict Rank, kneeling to superiors... It's all dross! It's all anti-human... oh wait, anti-god design!"

"Rip—"

Lin Feng tore the bamboo scroll, which represented the majesty of the old order, to shreds in front of everyone and scattered them.

The flying fragments of bamboo were like a special kind of snow, marking the end of the old era.

"From today on, the old Heavenly Rules are abolished! There are only three new rules! Listen up!"

Lin Feng held up a finger, his expression becoming incredibly serious.

"First, abolish the bullshit rule that 'gods cannot have worldly desires'! Freedom to love, freedom to marry! As long as it's true love, whether you're human, demon, or god, you can marry whoever you want! I've already had people set up a Civil Affairs Bureau at the South Heaven Gate... oh wait, at the Tiance Gate. You can get a certificate anytime! Not only is there no fine, but I'll also give out red envelopes!"

The crowd erupted. It was like a nuclear bomb dropped into the crowd.

In the crowd, two figures who had been hiding were trembling with excitement. It was the Weaver Girl and her husband, the Cowherd (though the Cowherd was still a Mortal, he had snuck in). They could only meet once a year on the Magpie Bridge; who could understand that pain?

"We can... really be together? We don't have to wait for the Qixi Festival anymore?" The Weaver Girl covered her mouth, tears streaming down her face—tears of happiness.

"Wife!" The Cowherd shouted, rushing over to hug the Weaver Girl regardless of anything, crying like a child.

Lin Feng pointed at them: "Hey, where's Yue Lao? Don't just stand there, go tie the red string and issue the certificate! This is the first couple, make it grand! If anyone dares to gossip, I'll pull out their tongue!"

Yue Lao had been trembling in the corner, and upon hearing this, he felt as if he had been granted amnesty. He scrambled out, "Yes, yes, yes! I'll do it right away! I'll do it! Not only will I issue the certificate, but I'll also provide a full wedding service package!"

"Second!"

Lin Feng held up a second finger. "Abolish all kneeling rites! We don't do that feudal superstition in Tiance Mansion. From now on, when you meet, handshakes, hugs, even a peace sign are all fine, but kneeling is forbidden! If anyone's knees are weak, go to the back and kneel until you've worn through the plaza before you get up! I want soldiers who stand, not slaves who kneel!"

This rule moved countless low-level gods to tears. They had been working like beasts in the heavenly court for so many years, having to kneel to everyone until their knees were almost shattered. Finally, they could stand tall as gods!

"Third!"

Lin Feng's voice became a bit more serious. "Although we talk about freedom, work still needs to be done. However, that endless exploitation, that '996 is a blessing' nonsense, is all void! We are implementing a 'five-day work week' System! Eight hours of work a day! Overtime gets triple pay! Those who do well get a commission, and those who don't... hehe, go to the pig farm and feed Fugui! Fugui has a huge appetite lately!"

"Yeah!!!"

This cheer threatened to overturn the heavens. It was an explosion after suppressing for countless years.

The Seven Fairies were standing in the front row. They used to be the coolies responsible for picking peaches for the Queen Mother of the West and weaving clouds, never having rested for a day in thousands of years, their hands worn raw.

Hearing this, the eldest fairy, Hong'er, excitedly took out an application she had written long ago and shouted, "Lord of Tiance Mansion! We want to quit! We want to join Tiance Mansion! We don't want to weave anymore, we want to sing and dance!"

"Yes! We all want to join!" The other six fairies chimed in.

"Approved!"

Lin Feng waved his hand, full of spirit, "From now on, you'll be responsible for... uh, responsible for setting up a 'Heavenly Court Art Troupe', putting on performances to enrich everyone's spiritual life. You'll be treated as high-level executives! Full social insurance and housing fund!"

"Thank you, Lord of the Mansion! Long live the Lord!" The Seven Fairies hugged each other happily, and even winked at Lin Feng.

Just then, the System notification sound rang wildly in Lin Feng's mind, just like winning the lottery.

[Ding! Host abolished the old Heavenly Rules, complied with the general trend of the Mortal, and broke the shackles of the Heavenly Dao!]

[Ding! Obtained massive amounts of Karma golden light! Karma +999999!]

[Ding! Host harvested the Power Of Will of the Three Realms, reputation points skyrocketed +100 million!]

[Ding! Weaver Girl and Cowherd reunited, triggered hidden achievement 'Lovers in the World', rewarded 'Top-Grade Marriage Charm' × 10.]

Watching the golden rain of Karma falling from the sky and feeling the countless grateful gazes, Lin Feng smiled.

This was much more satisfying than fighting. This feeling of changing the world and controlling the rules was the real thrill.

At this moment, Erlang Shen, who had been watching coldly from the side, walked over. He looked at Lin Feng with complex emotions, the Heavenly Eye in the center of his forehead flickering: "Aren't you afraid of causing chaos by doing this? Without strict Rank, how will you manage?"

"Chaos?"

Lin Feng looked at the gods with genuine smiles on their faces, pointed at a heavenly soldier who was shaking hands with the local Earth Deity, and asked back: "Erlang, do you think they are chaotic now? So-called order is not maintained by fear and oppression, but by the hearts of the people. When people's hearts are united, this sky won't collapse. If people's hearts are scattered, even if you have thousands of Heavenly Rules, it's just loose sand."

Erlang Shen was silent for a long time, looking at those vivid faces he had never seen before, and finally took a deep look at Lin Feng, cupping his hands in a salute (this time he didn't kneel, but performed a peer salute):

"I have been taught. Perhaps... you are right."