Chapter 141: But it’s not enough to heal everything

Okay, so the plan was to let them practice whatever remedy they had on my wounds, but I did not plan for them to lay me down on the floor of our cave and pick every single part of my body.I get that Damar claims he has a healing saliva, but what’s Fenric’s excuse?

I couldn’t even push them away, because something told me this was their way of comforting themselves after what had just happened.

They roamed their tongues over my body, licking my wounds, like a mother lion licking their cub clean.

At this point, what started as their attempt to make me feel better was becoming something sensual, and I was doing my best to hold back my voice.

They stayed silent as they continued with this.

Unlike how they looked like hungry beasts when they tried to devour me, this time, there was none of that. In fact, it was with something steadier, almost solemn.

Fenric’s presence loomed close, warm and restless, as if he were afraid that stepping away would let everything shatter again.

Damar was calmer, deliberate in every movement, his touch light where my skin was already tender.

Whenever I flinched, they slowed their movements, thinking they had made a mistake and would try to be a little more tender.

But I didn’t flinch because it felt uncomfortable, it was because I was slowly getting aroused.

I doubt they were doing this with the plan of turning me on, but whatever, it was working out that way.

This... what they were doing wasn’t healing, I could tell that much, since the sting remained, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either.

It was comforting, at least.

The tightness in my chest eased, little by little, as if the fear had finally been given permission to drain away.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, shaking as the breath slipped out of my lips.

Still... it was too much.

Too many hands, too much attention, too much of their unspoken worry pressing down on me. It felt like being wrapped too tightly in a blanket—safe, but suffocating.

"Okay," I said softly, trying to shift. "That... that’s enough."

Fenric stiffened immediately, pulling back slowly. Damar hesitated a second longer before easing his grip, though he didn’t let go completely. His fingers lingered around my wrist, thumb brushing over my pulse, grounding rather than restraining.

I sat up slowly, rubbing my arm as if to remind myself I was still in one piece.

But I felt conscious of every place they had touched and licked.

"I’m fine now," I said, more firmly this time. "Really."

They didn’t look convinced. Instead, they looked at me with that sorrowful puppy expression in their eyes.

I exhaled and turned to Damar, meeting his eyes. I had to change the topic to get myself out of this mood as well as lift their moods a bit.

They were too down.

"Damar," I called. "You said you know herbs," I asked, keeping my voice steady. "Do you really know ones that can heal my wounds without leaving a scar?"

For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then, he nodded, his eyes falling to the ground.

If I didn’t know Damar, I’d think he was a quack who wasn’t sure of what he was doing.

But that was just how he expressed himself in uncomfortable situations. He went silent, as if thinking, and broke eye contact.

"Yes," he said.

Then, he took my hands into his, not pulling me closer, just holding them.

His fingers slipped between mine, absent-minded, as if testing whether I would pull away and I didn’t.

He played with my fingers as he spoke, grounding himself.

"But it’s not enough to heal everything." He said.

I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

He lifted his gaze slowly, tracing upward—my face, my neck—before his eyes lingered at my chest, a faint and bitter smile tugging at his lips.

My chest immediately felt a pang as I saw that look on his face. His expression felt... Heavy.

"It’s not enough," he said quietly, interlocking our fingers. "...to heal what it can’t touch."

The cave fell silent, more deadening than it already was, and I pursed my lips.

Fenric did the same. He didn’t speak. He didn’t move. But he was there, staring at Damar like he understood him with those simple words before looking at me.

That said a lot.

Damar wasn’t talking about the scratches. Instead, he was talking about my heart that was wounded over and over again.

I didn’t know he could be so sentimental, but seeing him like this reminded me that I was a broken child, no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

I smiled, bitterly and then pressed my thumb on his hand.

"I’m sorry, Ari." He said and pulled my hand closer to his mouth, planting his lips softly on the back of my palm, but while it looked like he kissed my hand, I felt just a graze of his lips as he hesitated.

Did he have the right to go that far?

That question spread over his face, but then he closed his eyes and did it anyway, no longer hesitating.

He kissed my hand and then looked up at me.

"No herb can heal it," he said. "Sorry, I can’t help you with that."

Why was he speaking like that all of a sudden? It made my heart drop heavily, and my stomach twist in sadness.

It’s not his fault. He’s not responsible for healing the wounds they gave me.

I reached for him and hugged his head, pressing his head to my bosom.

"It’s alright, Damar," I said, my arm roaming his back gently. "I’m alright. Though this wound can’t be healed with herbs, it can certainly be healed."

"How?" He asked, raising his head to look at me.

He had these hopeful eyes that said he would do whatever he could to get the method to heal me.

"Where can I find the thing to heal you, Ari?" I heard the desperation in his voice and that broke me subtly.

"It’s not something you can see or pick up," I said. "Rather, it’s closer than you think."

"What? What is it?" He asked, looking genuinely clueless and I turned to look at Fenric, wondering if he knew what I was talking about.

But he didn’t.

He was looking at me with that same curious gaze, desperate to find a way to heal my heart.

"It’s right here," I pointed at his chest, smiling faintly. "What I need to heal the wound in my heart is here."

Damar looked at his chest for a few seconds in silence and then looked up at me, a broken expression in his eyes.

They both looked at me quietly and I gulped. The silence once again was so uncomfortable that I could hear my own heartbeat.

Then, Damar sighed.

He lowered his head and then raised it, looking at me with a grateful expression I didn’t understand.

"I understand." He said and I wondered what it was that he understood.

Did he understand that he would have to give me his love completely? But why did it feel different from how I imagined he would react?

It was almost as if I asked him to do the impossible and he was contemplating on it.

My heart twisted with unease. Did he... Not want to love me?

But that’s not possible, right? What they’ve done all this while... How else can I explain it?

But little did I know that what I was thinking was completely different from what he was thinking.

Damar... had completely misunderstood what I was trying to pass on.

"Ari, I want you to know that my life changed after meeting you. So, even if I’m not here anymore, I’d love more than anything to be a part of you."

I looked at him, puzzled and then he released his claws, which startled me.

Wait, don’t tell me...

"After I cut my heart right out of my body now, I won’t be able to spend time with you again. That is my biggest regret." He said with a sad smile on his face and my eyes widened.

"Wait, hold on, what are you doing?" I asked, grabbing his arm.

He was just about to shove his own hand through his chest.

"Don’t try to stop me, Ari. If this is the only way to heal you. I’ll gladly give it to you. That cub will take care of you, so I don’t have to worry about you being in danger."

So, he finally acknowledges that Fenric is strong.

But that’s not what’s important here.

Why was he trying to kill himself?

Did he really not understand what I was trying to say?

I sighed and looked back at Fenric, quietly asking for help, but I found him with clenched fists and tightened jaw, like he was trying to keep his cool in this inevitable situation.

It’s sad.

Even he didn’t understand and thought Damar had to be sacrificed.

"Seriously, I’m not so bad that I’d ask my mate to give me his heart so I can heal mine," I said.

"But that’s the only way to—" I shook my head, interrupting him.

"No, you misunderstood. Even if you take your heart out now, my wounded heart won’t heal. In fact, it will get even more damaged because you’re planning to sacrifice yourself for my sake. I don’t even want to think of such a scenario."

My heart and body trembled, just thinking about what he was about to do because I wasn’t clear enough.