Chapter 38: Confession.

Chapter 38 - Confession.This was the first time one of them mentioned events at the New Year's celebrations, and Lee rushed to finally apologize, but after saying 'I'm sorry', he only felt more bitter than ever. Looking at Tess's aged face, he realized there was nothing he could say or do to make up for the stupid thing he did.

Yes, he was clueless at the time, but this was not his first life! He had to act more maturely!

Tess had different things on her mind, though. She asked, "Why didn't you ask me and your father to get you a spark? In a few years we would've found you a high quality one and properly guided you through the ritual. And while it is probably impossible to find as unique spark as Lance's, there was no reason to kill him for it."

"The spark was an accident." Lee said with a sigh, and immediately realized he let his tongue slip.

Confusion was written all over Tess's face and, after weighing his options for a moment, Lee decided to be completely honest with the person who had sacrificed everything for him. Obviously it was another attempt to make himself feel better, not to justify his actions, but as it turned out revealing one of his secrets actually had a soothing effect.

He said, "You are my mom and always will be. But Lance was one of the people who killed my birth parents. And so was Drevin."

Lee watched Tess expression change, and it wasn't hard to guess that within few moments she went through a myriad of emotions. Probably her child being a stone cold killer was the most shocking one.

As it turns out he was wrong again. Tess barely audibly whispered, "So you know? ... how? Who told you?"

Clearly the carefully guarded secret of Lee nor being her biological son was her weak point. All these years she happily lived the illusion of being a mother, and now panicked in fear he would abandon her.



"No one. I remember." Lee shrugged, "And I remember what the twelve youths did in Pine Village.

And I remember you saving me then ... and I never thanked you for burying my parents."

There was a brief moment of silence, but seeing Tess terrified expression, Lee hugged her and said, "I'm sorry, mom! I'm sorry I caused you so much suffering."

"How ... how is that possible?" She whispered, "You were just a newborn!"

"Probably mental pathology or something." Lee said, still holding her tight.

But then happened what he expected the least.

"I'm sorry!" Tess whispered and began to sob.

Lee sensed her tears roll down his neck and shoulder, and felt relieved and lost at the same time. No matter how one looked at it, he was the one who messed up, but there was she, apologizing. It was clear that after the New Year's incident she completely transformed.

There was nothing much left from the once rude and domineering lady, and Lee could only guess whether it was caused by her rapid aging or trauma of almost loosing her child.

They sat there on his bed, hugging each other almost till noon. It took a while for Tess to calm down, but then they talked, a lot. She questioned him in detail how much he remembered from his early days, and Lee honestly replied.

He also didn't hide his intention to complete the revenge, but for some reason Tess didn't care about it.

She was shocked to find out that killing Dale and setting up Powel was his work, but instead of forbidding him to do such things in the future, she made him promise that he would never act impulsively again.

To Lee it was baffling that despite him killing three people and causing demise of hundreds of others, she continued to call him little genius,and became prouder the longer they conversed. She also wasn't bothered when Lee confessed his unwillingness to ever become a healer. Even more – she seemed to be happy about it.

The mother and son pair had no clue another person witnessed the show. Freeda was about to enter Lee's room with a steaming bowl of her spicy soup when he woke up, and the following contents of their conversation made her freeze on the spot.

She stood there, attentively listening until the soup long became cold, and rushed away only when Lee got out of the bed.

***

After the event the life in the little household didn't change much. Lee trained a couple of times a day while continuously increasing the difficulty and intensity of the exercises. Simply running and jumping was clearly not enough to have a chance against the superhuman generals and Victoria, thus he worked on evolving the daily routine even though he was clearly way ahead of his peers.

During evenings Lee drew to entertain Tess, and usually joined Ingrid for her lessons, but with a goal to gain general knowledge on the concept of sparks. He listened to Tess's suggestion and started doing simple meditations in the morning and before going to bed, mostly in order to familiarize himself with the foreign object in his abdomen.

He never intended to become a healer, or in other words – to waste his life force in order to save others, but Tess's idea was that understanding the spark would benefit his general physical development.

And she was right. Instead of living life, pissed at himself for ruining his own future prospects, Lee found it much more interesting to observe the changes within.

At first there was nothing. He couldn't sense neither the spark nor its effects. But after a couple of moths of practice he picked up the sensation of something revolving within. It wasn't that he felt a particular item or an object. It was more like he felt his own blood flow, or at least it was how Lee visualized it.



When he began to seriously attend Tess's lessons, according to Ingrid's understanding, of course, she assumed the position of a self proclaimed elder sister. While teasing Lee about the lack of talent, she patiently shared her own experiences on how to work with a spark, and taught nuances Tess skipped considering them self-evident.

Despite her efforts, Lee remained clueless and wasn't capable of healing the small cuts she purposefully made on her fingers. That made the girl desperate about his talent being inversely proportional to his intelligence, but Lee wasn't bothered by that. He never intended to loose his life force on her, but what he was interested in was who, Tess or Freeda, had disclosed the secret of him owning a spark to an outsider.

When the autumn came, Ingrid mentioned something about her being needed for a dangerous expedition, and said goodbyes. Tess didn't want to let her go, arguing about her not being ready, but the girl insisted on her family needs being more important and left.

Lee didn't see her until two and a half years later, at Tess's funeral. It wasn't really a big event, only he and Freeda were present, and were about to scatter Tess's ashes in the nearby river, when huffing and puffing plump elderly lady rushed over.

Only after hearing her voice Lee recognized the girl who had aged over three decades in the span of a couple of years. It was a shocking and tragic sight, but somehow she even seemed to be proud of her appearance. He had no clue what she went through during her absence, but it was clear that judging by her losses she had brought at least few people back from the dead.

***

Tess's passing was sad, although expected. For over a month she was bedridden, but according to her, Lee taking care of her made it the happiest time of her life. She died holding his hand, with a satisfied smile on her wrinkled face, and also only after Lee repeatedly promised to not do foolish stuff ever again.

For some reason till the very last moment Tess never mentioned Alan. She did leave a letter addressed to him behind, though, but judging from the yellowing of the paper it was evident she had written it at least a year ago.

After the funeral for the first month Lee's life didn't change much. He mostly focused on his training, but by now he began to question whether he should go through with the revenge plan. Living in the countryside was pleasant and carefree, and the evening conversations with Freeda was all the socializing he needed.

It was one night when he woke up to distant horse-steps when the tranquil life ended.