32: Chapter 22 The Coward's Punishment (IF)

(Pre-reading notice: This chapter involves severe distortion, is somewhat stream-of-consciousness, and features a somewhat helpless Mei (though it doesn't affect the main plot). If any friends cannot accept this, please skip this chapter. Thank you, everyone.)

"No matter what happens, as long as Kaiwen and I are together forever!"

When that voice sounded, I shouted those words, and it was also the sentence I regret the most.

As you can see, I am Raiden Mei, and I am trapped here to die.

Why?

Why am I trapped in this pitch-black space?

Is it because I heard Kaiwen's approach had ulterior motives?

Or because I heard Kaiwen and Kiana were living together?

Perhaps it's a bit of both, but I feel the biggest problem is still myself.

Why did I so easily believe that little girl's words?

Looking back now, I really want to strangle the past self who was unwilling to trust Kaiwen.

Until I saw Kaiwen venturing alone into that monster's lair for my sake.

This was the first time I tasted the flavor of hatred.

I, Raiden Mei, hate myself.

If I had been willing to trust Kaiwen a little more, Kaiwen wouldn't have been hurt.

If I could control myself, I could continue playing good friend games with Kaiwen, if I had just pretended not to know anything.

I recall the photos I secretly took before: a happy Kaiwen, an injured Kaiwen, Kaiwen in the classroom, and Kaiwen willing to stay by my side.

I had also wondered, what would happen if Kaiwen discovered these photos?

But it wouldn't happen at all; Kaiwen wouldn't even come to my house to play, let alone see those photos.

Kaiwen, is there really a place for me in your heart?

...

The world lit up again, and I saw Kaiwen once more.

A Kaiwen whose eyes held only me.

Perhaps this isn't bad.

Although that monster trapped me, she did keep her promise to let Kaiwen be with Raiden Mei forever.

That's what I thought.

Until...

"Kaiwen... wake up..."

"Kaiwen—"

Looking at Kaiwen's sleeping face, an uncontrollable excitement welled up in my heart.

Such a lovely person will only have eyes for me from now on.

Although I can't control the body yet, as long as...

"Woo— Mei!"

...

?

What are you doing?

Monster!

What are you doing?

"I *** ask you, what *** are you doing?"

What are you doing to my Kaiwen!!!!!

Even though my anger went down to my bones, even though I felt like my whole person was about to be torn apart, even though I had used all my strength to fight that monster, it was always of no use.

I could only watch in despair as the person I loved lay in that monster's arms acting spoiled.

Why?

Why do this to my...

Isn't this what you wanted?

No matter what happens, as long as Kaiwen and I, and Raiden Mei are together forever.

Wasn't this what you said?

The one who wants to be with her is me!

Me!!!

You?

Heh, I am also Raiden Mei, isn't being with her the same?

You're lying, clearly the one supposed to be with her is me!

Lying?

I am not lying.

I have already accomplished what I promised you.

Look, aren't her eyes already filled only with 'Raiden Mei' now?

However, I understand you a bit now; Kaiwen is indeed very delicious.

You...

Alright, stop talking, let me savor this delicacy properly~

She was like a god of this world; she wanted me to shut up, and I really quieted down as if I had no mouth.

Thus I could no longer speak, and could only helplessly watch my beloved Kaiwen acting spoiled in 'my' arms.

"...I'm going to change clothes."

"Mhm, I'll wait for you."

"...Aren't you going out?"

"I want to watch you change..."

"Get out!!!"

Mine, she is clearly my Kaiwen!!!

Watching the affectionate interaction between Kaiwen and 'me', I had never desired so much to die.

Even when my father was arrested back then, even when I was bullied by former friends, even when I was abandoned by Kiana.

Kiana?

Right, Kiana!

Kiana, aren't you family with her?

Hurry and save her, even beating Raiden Mei to death is fine!

You, why are you crying?

Fight back!

That black spear from before, hit me!

Pity no matter how much I screamed, the people outside could never hear.

"...Play games?"

Kaiwen's voice came from the living room.

I could see the three of them sitting on the sofa.

The faint light emitted by the controller shone on Kaiwen's face, and her smile was still so pure, so defenseless.

But she didn't know that the 'me' standing in front of the kitchen faucet washing dishes didn't wear any gentle smile at the corners of my mouth.

That monster was enjoying it.

Enjoying the pleasure of toying with everyone in the palm of her hand.

Kiana... say something!

When I saw Kiana defeated by a combo, tears falling down drop by drop, my heart felt like it was forcibly crushed by a giant hand.

"I can't do anything..."

Listening to Kiana's despairing voice outside, I cried heartrendingly inside.

I'm sorry... Kiana, I'm sorry...

It was I who released this monster, it was I who harmed you all...

If I hadn't been jealous back then, if I hadn't listened to that monster's bewitchment...

Then, it was lunch break.

I watched 'me' push open the bedroom door, watching that body belonging to me stealthily slip into Kaiwen's bed.

"No... don't..."

Like a madman, I desperately tried to seize control of the body, but that barrier didn't even twitch.

I could only be forced to use those eyes, watching 'my' hand reach in along the hem of Kaiwen's clothes, fingertips sliding leisurely against Kaiwen's tender skin;

Watching 'me' bury my face into the back of Kaiwen's neck, greedily absorbing her body temperature.

Kaiwen was still softly complaining: "...Why are you crawling in again."

She didn't know.

She didn't know anything.

"Don't touch her!! Take your filthy hands off her!!"

My roar echoed in the pitch-black void, but besides myself, no one else could hear it.

That feeling of watching the person I cherish most acting shy in a monster's arms is ten thousand times more painful than killing me directly.

In the afternoon, that monster stood at the door, smiling at Kaiwen who was changing shoes.

"It seems a bug got into the house, I'll go deal with it."

Bug?

At that instant, I suddenly felt there was hope.

Could an external force be intervening?

But she just sneered.

I experienced that destructive power.

After Kaiwen and the others left, 'me' also walked out of that door and soared into the clouds——

Then, there was a heaven-splitting loud noise.

I watched with my own eyes as a huge warship was shot down by 'me' with a giant spear.

I still remembered that spear; it was Kiana's spear.

The last hope was also cut off.

I closed my eyes, letting despair completely submerge me.

In the evening, I saw Kaiwen running back from outside in a panic.

When she pushed open the door and saw the unscathed 'me' lying on the sofa, blurting out the words "Because I was so worried about you, I missed you so much".

I felt the monster's playful smile.

Afterwards, 'me' stood up, pressed the back of Kaiwen's head, and kissed her fiercely in front of everyone.

I could even feel the temperature of Kaiwen's lips.

I watched Kaiwen shyly close her eyes, her hands submissively wrapping around that body that did not belong to me.

I could no longer cry out loud.

This was indeed the wish I made——"No matter what happens, as long as Kaiwen and I are together forever."

The monster granted the wish.

It gave Kaiwen a false paradise belonging solely to Raiden Mei, yet buried me forever in the hell beneath the paradise.

(Alright, alright, that's the next update for today, let's continue with the main text. Actually, what I was thinking is, the Herrscher of Thunder can't control Raiden Mei for a lifetime. Once Raiden Mei regains control of her own body, do you think she will set Kaiwen free? Or intensify her actions?)