156: Chapter 156 Battle Against the Inner Demon
Within the Chaos, Lu Mingyuan stood.
Before him were the four shadows—Fear, Doubt, Attachment, and Self.
They stood there, watching him.
In their gaze, there was something.
That kind of 'we've finally waited for you' something.
Fear spoke.
"Aren't you afraid?"
Lu Mingyuan looked at it.
"I am."
Fear asked: "Afraid of what?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "Afraid I can't defeat you."
Fear laughed.
That smile was very cold.
"Good that you're afraid. If you're afraid, then don't fight."
Lu Mingyuan shook his head.
"Even if I'm afraid, I must still fight."
Doubt asked: "Why?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "Because if I don't fight, I will never get past."
Attachment said: "You cannot defeat us. We are your Heart Demons. Where you exist, we exist. To fight us is to fight yourself. To destroy us is to destroy yourself."
Lu Mingyuan stood there, listening.
Attachment was right.
They were Heart Demons.
Things within the heart.
To fight them was to fight oneself.
To destroy them was to destroy oneself.
So how to fight?
He looked at the four shadows, silent for a long time.
Then, he smiled.
"You are right. To fight you is to fight myself. To destroy you is to destroy myself. Therefore, I will not fight you."
The four shadows were stunned.
Fear asked: "Not fight? Then how will you pass?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "Walk. Walk past you."
Doubt said: "Walk? How?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "Walk past you, from beside you."
Attachment said: "Walk past us from beside us? What if we don't allow it?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "Even if you don't allow it, I will still walk."
He took a step forward.
The four shadows stood there, unmoving.
He took another step forward.
The four shadows still did not move.
He walked to Fear's side.
Fear looked at him.
"You are not afraid anymore?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "I am. But even afraid, I must still walk."
Fear reached out a hand, wanting to block him.
Lu Mingyuan did not stop, walking past Fear.
Fear's hand stopped in mid-air, did not come down.
He walked to Doubt's side.
Doubt looked at him.
"Aren't you afraid of walking the wrong path?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "I am. But even if it's wrong, it is still walking. Being wrong lets you know what is right."
Doubt reached out a hand, wanting to block him.
Lu Mingyuan did not stop, walking past Doubt.
Doubt's hand stopped in mid-air, did not come down.
He walked to Attachment's side.
Attachment looked at him.
"Aren't you afraid the walk will be in vain?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "I am not. As long as you are walking, it is never in vain."
Attachment reached out a hand, wanting to block him.
Lu Mingyuan did not stop, walking past Attachment.
Attachment's hand stopped in mid-air, did not come down.
He walked to Self's side.
Self looked at him.
"Who are you?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "I am the one who walks."
Self asked: "Who is the one who walks?"
Lu Mingyuan said: "It is me."
Self asked: "Who am I?"
Lu Mingyuan thought for a moment.
"I am the one who walks. I am the one who is walking. I am the path, the footprints, the thing that is left behind."
Self looked at him, for a very, very long time.
Then, Self smiled.
"You answered correctly."
My hand stopped in mid-air, did not come down.
Lu Mingyuan walked past me.
He walked past.
The four shadows stood behind him, watching him.
Fear spoke.
"He has walked away."
Doubt asked: "Where has he walked to?"
Attachment said: "He has walked to where he should walk."
Self said: "He has walked away. Now that he has walked away, I am no longer me. I am him."
The four shadows began to melt.
Melted together, melted into one shadow.
That shadow was Lu Mingyuan.
The true Lu Mingyuan.
The Lu Mingyuan who feared nothing, knew everything, and could let go of anything.
The one who is walking.
The one who is in the process of walking.
That shadow looked at Lu Mingyuan's retreating figure.
Smiled.
"Walk on. Walk for me as well."
Then, it vanished.
Vanished into that Chaos.
Vanished into that emptiness which is nothing.
Vanished into the place it had walked past.
Lu Mingyuan walked.
As he walked, he suddenly felt that something had changed.
Those things within his heart no longer weighed him down.
That Legacy, those Dao methods, those expectations, those entrustments—they were still there.
But they were no longer burdens in his heart.
They had become the path beneath his feet.
Become the strength for his walking.
Become the reason for him to keep walking.
He walked.
Step by step.
Suddenly, he stopped.
Looked ahead.
Within the Chaos ahead, there was light.
That light was not the faintness of Laozi, not the azure of Tongtian, not the gold of Jieyin and Zhunti, not the multicolored hues of Nüwa, not the yellow of Houtu, not the white of Yuanshi Tianzun.
It was... his own light.
The light of his heart.
The light he had realized from walking so many paths, standing for so long, doing so many things.
The light born in his heart after passing Fear, passing Doubt, passing Attachment, passing Self.
He looked at that light.
Smiled.
That smile was very light.
Light as the wind.
Yet within that wind, there was something.
That kind of emotion of finally having walked to this place.
He spoke.
"Fear, Doubt, Attachment, Self—all passed. Not gone. They have become part of my walking. Fear lets me know what to fear. Doubt lets me know what to question. Attachment lets me know what to desire. Self lets me know who I am."
He paused.
"I am not anyone. I am the one who walks. I am the one who is walking. I am the path, the footprints, the thing that is left behind. That thing has no name. But that thing is walking. By walking, one comes to know. By walking, one comes to understand. By walking, one arrives."
Then, he stepped forward.
Towards that light.
Towards his own path.
Towards the place he should walk.
He walked.
As he walked, that light drew nearer and nearer.
Brighter and brighter.
So bright it seemed it would illuminate the entire Chaos.
Then, he saw.
The source of the light was a mirror.
A very large mirror.
So large it could reflect the entire heaven and earth.
So large it could reflect the past and future.
So large it could reflect everything.
He stood before the mirror, looking into it.
In the mirror, there was a person.
That person was him.
The him who copied books in Heyin.
The him who stood before The Rift.
The him who stood within Zixiao Palace.
The him who walked within the Chaos.
The him who passed Fear, Doubt, Attachment, and Self.
The him who walked and walked, arriving here.
He looked at that person in the mirror.
That person also looked at him.
They looked for a very, very long time.
Then, he smiled.
That person also smiled.
He reached out his hand.
That person also reached out a hand.
His hand touched the mirror.
The mirror shattered.
Not into shards.
Into light.
A great, great deal of light.
That light flew out, flew onto him.
Flew into his heart.
Flew onto the paths he had walked.
Flew into the things he had done.
Flew onto the people he had met.
Flew onto the places he had stood.
Flew into the tears he had shed.
Flew into every time he had laughed.
Flew into every instant he had lived.
He stood within that light.
Within the light was everything of his.
His paths, his stands, his deeds.
His fear, his doubt, his attachment, his self.
His passing, his walking, his arriving.
His birth, his death, his life.
His tears, his laughter, his pain.
His love, his hatred, his fear.
His right, his wrong, his regret.
His inability to let go, his reluctance to part, his necessity to walk.
His willingness to walk, his walking, his arriving.
All that light was within his heart.
Within his heart, each returned to its proper place.
Laozi's 'One', at the root.
Tongtian's 'Severing', on the path.
Jieyin and Zhunti's 'Emptiness and Being', within the heart.
Nüwa's 'Creation', in the hands.
Houtu's 'Reincarnation', within the earth.
Yuanshi Tianzun's 'Order', within everything.
Fear, beneath the feet.
Doubt, within the questioning.
Attachment, within the walking.
Self, within the emptiness.
Each returned to its proper place.
Each fulfilled its purpose.
Not chaotic.
Not crowded.
Just right.
He stood within that light, and as he stood, he suddenly felt something was about to emerge.
Not emerging from the outside.
Emerging from the heart.
Emerging from the heart that had walked so many paths, stood for so long, done so many things, realized so many Daos, passed so many demons.
That thing was very bright.
Bright as the sun.
That thing was very warm.
Warm as spring.
That thing was very light.
Light as the wind.
That thing was very heavy.
Heavy as a mountain.
That thing was very large.
Large as heaven and earth.
That thing was very small.
Small as a speck of dust.
That thing had no name.
But he knew what it was.
It was his Dao.
The Dao he had walked out from walking so many paths.
The Dao he had stood out from standing for so long.
The Dao he had done out from doing so many things.
The Dao he had realized out from realizing so many principles.
The Dao he had passed out from passing so many demons.
That Dao emerged from his heart.
Flowed to his feet, becoming the path.
Flowed to his hands, becoming deeds.
Flowed to his eyes, becoming light.
Flowed to his mouth, becoming words.
Flowed to his ears, becoming hearing.
Flowed to his nose, becoming breath.
Flowed to every inch of his skin, becoming touch.
Flowed to every thought, becoming knowing.
Flowed to every footprint, becoming walking.
He stood within that light.
As he stood, he spoke.
"My Dao is called Xuan-shu Path. The heart is the Mysterious Pivot. The pivot is the door hinge. The door opens and closes, the pivot does not move. Yet the pivot connects to the door, and the door connects to heaven and earth. The heart is that pivot. When the heart does not move, all methods naturally return. When the heart moves, all methods naturally arise. But the heart is not unmoving either. The heart will move, the heart will open, the heart will close. When it moves, all methods arise. When it opens, the door opens. When it closes, the door closes. But the pivot remains that pivot."
He paused.
"My Dao is that pivot. Not unmoving, but inseparable. Not unmoving, but not lost. Not unmoving, but not forgotten. When moving, know it is moving. When opening, know it is opening. When closing, know it is closing. That knowing is the pivot. That knowing is the heart. That knowing is the Dao."
His voice fell into the light.
The light grew brighter.
So bright it seemed it would illuminate the entire Chaos.
So bright it seemed it would illuminate the past and future.
So bright it seemed it would illuminate everything, all of existence.
Within Zixiao Palace, the Seven Saints looked into the depths of the Chaos.
Laozi spoke.
"He has established his Dao."
Tongtian nodded.
"He has."
Jieyin said: "Xuan-shu Path."
Zhunti said: "The heart is the Mysterious Pivot."
Nüwa said: "He has walked for so long, finally walking it out."
Houtu said: "Now that he has established his Dao, he is no longer just him. He is the Dao."
Yuanshi Tianzun looked into the depths of the Chaos.
"He is the Dao, and he is also himself. Dao and self are not two. Just as the heart pivot is not two."
Laozi smiled.
That smile was very faint.
Yet within that faintness, there was something.
There was gratification.
"Let's go. Let us go see him."
Tongtian also smiled.
"Go. Let's go see what kind of Dao this kid has established."
Jieyin stood up.
"Go."
Zhunti stood up.
"Go."
Nüwa stood up.
"Go."
Houtu stood up.
"Go."
Yuanshi Tianzun stood up.
"Go."
The Seven Saints walked out from Zixiao Palace.
Walked into the Chaos.
Walked towards that light.
Walked towards the one who had established his Dao.
Walked towards the Dao of the Mysterious Pivot.