415: sad

"Pray for blessings..."

Jiang Yan repeated those words in a low voice, a faint, bitter smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

She looked up, her gaze calmly meeting Li Xuan's back, and asked softly:

"Your Majesty, the North Border Spirit Mountain is remote and guarded by Situ Jun. Is it appropriate for a mere woman like Your humble servant to go to such a place?"

Li Xuan turned around abruptly, looking at her with a complex gaze.

In that look, there was reluctance, guilt, determination, and a trace of unspeakable humiliation.

He took a step forward, his hand trembling as he reached out to grasp hers.

Her fingertips were icy cold, like a piece of frozen jade, making his heart feel even heavier.

"Yaner."

Li Xuan's expression was sorrowful, and his voice was somewhat hoarse:

"I know I have wronged you. But though Tianqi appears stable now, there are undercurrents surging beneath the surface; the slightest mistake could lead to its downfall. The State Preceptor said that only if you go and humble yourself at Situ Jun's side can you draw the North Border Dragon Qi to nourish the Tianqi national fortune."

He paused, looked up, and stared at her with burning eyes, his tone carrying a subtle hint, even a plea:

"Yaner, you are the Empress of Tianqi and my wife. Now that the royal legacy is in peril, I implore you, for the sake of Tianqi and its people, no matter the cost, even if... even if you must wrong yourself, you must preserve Tianqi and ensure the Li family's reign does not change hands."

"Wrong myself..."

"No matter the cost..."

Jiang Yan was stunned, as if struck by a bolt of lightning, her entire body trembling.

She was exceptionally clever; how could she not understand the deeper meaning behind his words?

The so-called 'praying for blessings'—where was the prayer? He was clearly sending her to the North Border, to Situ Jun's side, to be used as a bargaining chip to win people over!

She jerked her hand back, staggering two steps as she looked at Li Xuan in disbelief.

Her eyes gradually reddened, and her voice trembled slightly:

"Your Majesty... what do you mean by this? I am your Empress, the Mother of Tianqi. How can you ask me to..."

She truly could not bring herself to say the words that followed.

Those words were like red-hot branding irons, searing her throat with pain.

"I don't want to either! But I have no choice!"

Li Xuan roared low, his voice filled with pain and helplessness.

How could he be willing to do this? But he was the Emperor of Tianqi; on his shoulders rested the vast territory and hundreds of millions of people.

He could not stand by and watch Tianqi be destroyed in his own hands.

Jiang Yan's voice suddenly rose, and the tears she had been holding back finally began to well in her eyes:

"Then what about me? Has Your Majesty ever thought about me?"

After a pause, she stared intently at Li Xuan, her gaze filled with disappointment, resentment, and a heart-wrenching interrogation:

"I have been married to Your Majesty for twenty years, from Crown Princess to Empress. I have never once overstepped my bounds, never failed my Sovereign, and never failed Tianqi. I managed the inner palace for you, honored the Empress Dowager for you, and stabilized the rear so you could focus on state affairs. Now, the Sovereign wants to send me to the North Border, to Situ Jun's territory... My Lord, are you truly willing to do this!"

Li Xuan avoided her gaze, his Adam's apple bobbing as he nodded with difficulty.

His voice was as cold as if it came from the depths of Hell, every word feeling like it was slicing through his own heart:

"City Lord Situ... he is powerful and holds the North Border. Tianqi needs his support. Yaner, I have wronged you. Once this matter is over, I will surely compensate you twofold."

Jiang Yan felt chilled to the bone, as if she had fallen into a bottomless abyss.

The coldness rose from the soles of her feet, spreading through her limbs and reaching her internal organs, freezing her blood until it nearly solidified.

The pain in her heart surged like a tide, drowning her.

She slowly closed her eyes, and a single tear finally slid down her cheek, dripping onto her moon-white palace dress and leaving a small, dark stain.

Her voice carried an endless sorrow, like a fallen leaf in late autumn, permeated with despair:

"Your humble servant understands. In the Sovereign's heart, the state and the dynasty are more important than anything else. My honor and my life are not worth a fraction of this vast land."

"You can interpret it that way!"

Li Xuan roared out, his chest heaving violently.

He wanted to step forward and hold her, to tell her he didn't mean it, that he was forced into this.

But his feet felt as if they were nailed to the spot, unable to move an inch.

"Your humble servant understands."

Jiang Yan wiped away her tears, the sorrow on her face gradually fading, replaced by a near-determined calm.

Her eyes became hollow and cold, like a pool of stagnant water, no longer possessing her former tenderness.

She looked up at Li Xuan and said word by word:

"I am the Empress of Tianqi, and I also bear the responsibility for the people. Since the Sovereign and the State Preceptor both believe that my going to the North Border can resolve Tianqi's crisis, then I shall go."

Her tone was terrifyingly calm, yet it made Li Xuan's heart feel as if it were being gripped by an invisible hand, the pain nearly suffocating him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but found his throat choked, unable to utter a single word.

Hearing Jiang Yan agree to go to the North Border, it was as if a massive boulder had been lifted from Li Xuan's heart, and he secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

After that relief, however, came a deeper guilt, drowning him like a tide.

Jiang Yan no longer looked at him; she turned and walked to the window, gazing out at the vast sky.

The sky was azure, with a few white clouds floating by and birds soaring past, free and unconstrained.

A moment later, her voice was as indifferent as if she were speaking of someone else's affairs:

"I will go and pack my things now. In three days, I will depart for the North Border."

Li Xuan stood where he was, watching her straight back.

That back was still dignified and elegant, yet it exuded a distant finality.

He felt as if he saw an invisible barrier slowly rising between them, separating them into two different worlds.

He knew that after this, things between them would never return to how they were before.

When Princess Danying heard that her Imperial Brother had agreed to let the Empress accompany her back to the North Border, she was overjoyed, even weeping with happiness on the spot.

She grabbed her maid's hand, her face beaming like a flower:

"Wonderful! Imperial Brother finally agreed to let me leave the palace and return to the North Border. And with Imperial Sister-in-law accompanying me, the journey to the North Border certainly won't be lonely!"

She was full of joy, unaware of what a humiliation and despair this seemingly honorable trip to pray for blessings was for Jiang Yan.

Three days later, outside the Empress's palace.

In the faint morning light, a low-key carriage was parked outside the palace gates, its curtains plain and without any decorations to indicate its status.

Li Xuan personally saw Jiang Yan off. He wore ordinary clothes, yet he still could not hide his Dragon Qi. Only his bloodshot eyes betrayed his exhaustion from a sleepless night.

Jiang Yan wore a plain palace dress without any expensive jewelry, her hair in a simple bun. Her eyes were calm and showed no emotion.

She walked up to Li Xuan and gave a slight curtsy, her movements perfect yet distant, her tone as polite as a stranger's:

"Please return, My Lord. Accompanying Danying on this journey, I will surely fulfill the task and pray for Tianqi's blessings."

Li Xuan looked at her, a thousand words stuck in his chest, which finally turned into a single sentence:

"Take care on the journey."

Jiang Yan did not respond, nor did she even look at him again.

She turned and stepped onto the prepared carriage, the curtains gently lowered by a maid, cutting off the gaze from the outside world.