486: Mixed feelings

Situ Jun was already fully dressed, his black casual robes spotless, except for a small rouge stain left inadvertently by her last night on the collar, which stood out prominently against the dark fabric.

He seemed not to notice, raising his hand to straighten his hem. His gaze fell upon her, and after a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Regarding last night... I overstepped my bounds."

These simple words made Liu Airu's heart ache sharply. A bitter soreness instantly spread through her entire body. She bit her lip, pressing hard to keep herself from crying out. She did not look back, nor did she speak.

Overstepped his bounds?

It was far more than that.

It was treason, a loss of chastity, and an absurdity that had ruined her life.

Yet strangely, there wasn't a hint of resentment in her heart. Instead, deep down, there was a hidden, barely perceptible trace of longing.

Longing for his heat last night, longing for his inadvertent tenderness, and longing for the unprecedented pleasure and satisfaction he had brought her.

This longing made her feel incredibly absurd and utterly shameful.

Situ Jun looked at her thin, slightly trembling back. A flicker of subtle pity flashed in his eyes. Ultimately, he said no more, turned, and walked toward the palace doors.

His footsteps were light, intentionally softened so as not to make a sound, as if he feared disturbing the tranquility of the inner palace or breaking this momentary, delicate atmosphere.

When he reached the doors, he stopped. With his back to her, he did not turn around, leaving behind only a faint sentence. It was light as a feather, yet like a pebble tossed into Liu Airu's calm heart, it stirred up a thousand waves as it drifted through the cool morning breeze:

"Could you... become my Dao Companion? Think about it."

With that, he pushed open the palace doors. His figure flashed, transforming into a faint stream of light that vanished into the morning mist outside. Only a subtle ripple of spiritual energy remained, fleeting in the air before quickly merging into the depths of the Kunning Palace corridors, as if no one had ever been there.

The door hinges creaked softly as the doors slowly closed. Silence returned to the hall, leaving Liu Airu alone with the lingering scent of pine aura that belonged to him.

Liu Airu spun around, staring at the empty doorway. Her eyes instantly reddened, and the tears she had suppressed for so long finally fell again.

He was gone, taking with him the tenderness of last night, the intoxicating scent of wine, and that heart-fluttering throb. He left cleanly, as if everything last night had been but a fleeting dream that never truly happened.

But the red marks on her wrists, the residual warmth on her lips, the soreness in her body, and the faint imprint on her heart all reminded her with absolute clarity: last night's passion was no dream, but a very real absurdity.

She raised her hand to gently touch her lips, where his wine scent and warmth still lingered. On her fair neck and shoulders were the faint red marks he had left. As her fingertips brushed over them, a sense of emptiness arose, as if a piece of her heart had been carved out. It felt hollow, and even breathing felt painful.

Just then, the respectful voice of the head palace maid came from outside, breaking the silence within the hall.

"Your Majesty, it is time to rise and dress. The Emperor has sent word that he wishes to go to Cining Palace with you at the Hour of Chen to pay respects to the Empress Dowager."

That voice was like a bucket of cold water poured over Liu Airu's head, instantly snapping her out of her confusion and emptiness.

She took a deep breath, wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes, and pressed her fingertips against her aching eyelids. She forced herself to suppress all the emotions in her heart—panic, grievance, bitterness, and longing—pushing them all into her deepest depths.

Then, she resumed her gentle, dignified, and mother-of-the-nation persona. Her voice was steady, revealing nothing out of the ordinary.

"I understand. Come in."

The palace doors were pushed open, and maids carrying washing utensils, court robes, and jewelry filed in. They knelt respectfully before the dressing table, bowing their heads to help her with her grooming.

The bronze mirror reflected Liu Airu's beautiful face. Her eyebrows were like distant mountains, her eyes like autumn waters, her skin was pale and translucent, and her lips were crimson. She was still the peerless Empress of Tianqi.

Only deep in her eyes was there a lingering trace of fatigue and panic, which she carefully concealed with exquisite makeup so that no one could detect it.

The head maid inserted a gold phoenix hairpin inlaid with Eastern pearls into her hair. The hairpin was exquisitely crafted, and the pearls were round and smooth, glowing brilliantly in the morning light—a symbol of her status as Empress.

Looking at Liu Airu in the bronze mirror, the maid said with a smile:

"Your Majesty's complexion is truly wonderful today. You must have rested well last night. This phoenix hairpin suits you perfectly; you look like a celestial being."

Liu Airu twitched the corners of her mouth into a practiced smile. The smile was gentle but did not reach her eyes, which were filled with hidden resentment and bitterness.

Rested well?

She hadn't rested for a single moment last night. She had merely been lost in a tender spring dream for half the night. Upon waking, all that remained was endless dread and emptiness, along with those marks that could not be washed away.

At the Hour of Chen, Li Xuan arrived as promised.

He was dressed in bright yellow casual robes embroidered with dark gold dragon patterns, exuding an air of nobility. His expression was gentle, carrying the unique majesty of an Emperor. As he entered Kunning Palace, he saw Liu Airu dressed in apricot-colored palace robes, standing in the hall to greet him. Her features were gentle and her figure graceful, exceptionally moving.

He walked forward and naturally took her hand. When his fingertips touched the cool back of her hand, a flicker of subtle surprise flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a warm smile as he said softly:

"My dear concubine's complexion is excellent today. You must have slept soundly last night."

Liu Airu lowered her eyes to hide the flash of panic and guilt, replying softly:

"With Your Majesty keeping me in your thoughts, Your humble servant naturally slept soundly."

Her hand was held tightly by Li Xuan, but the warmth of his palm felt bone-chillingly cold. It was far from the warmth of Situ Jun's fingertips last night, making her feel a chill in her heart, which even caused her worry to fade slightly.

She looked up at Li Xuan's gentle features, and a sense of absurd guilt and indescribable shame actually rose within her.

This man before her was her husband, the Emperor of Tianqi, and her metaphorical heaven. Yet last night, in his Kunning Palace, she had shared a passionate night with the City Lord of the Northern Frontier—the man he most feared and guarded against—committing an act of great treason.

But this guilt lasted only a moment before being completely submerged by the coldness of the inner palace and Li Xuan's neglect.

She knew better than anyone that Li Xuan's feelings for her were not based on love, but rather on her family background—the Liu Family controlled the nation's granaries and were the pillars of the Tianqi state.

It was also because of her temperament—gentle, dignified, and sensible—making her suitable to be the Empress and uphold the dignity of the harem.

Had it been anyone else, as long as their family was sufficient and their temperament suitable, he would have been just as gentle, held their hand just like this, and spoken such tender words.

His tenderness was always just a show for outsiders, a product of imperial balance and calculation, never from the heart.