43: Chapter 43 A Special Peach Blossom Calamity! Called Chrysanthemum Remnant!

"Alright, stop spacing out." Su Yun called out to Zhang Wei, who was still dazed.

"The ghost has already run away, you can sleep peacefully from now on."

"Remember to lock the door properly, and also, it's best to throw away that bottle of oil, so you don't feel disgusted looking at it later."

Zhang Wei finally snapped out of his daze.

He turned his head to look at Su Yun on his phone screen, his expression extremely complex.

There was relief, shock, but more than anything, a sense of confusion after having his worldview shattered.

He slumped on the bed, staring at the empty doorway, his mind filled with the image of Wang Qiang fleeing in a panic just moments ago.

After a long while, Zhang Wei finally trembled his lips, faced the camera, and asked that soul-striking question:

"Master Su, so for the past half month, I wasn't being pressed by a ghost, but actually by a man…"

He really couldn't bring himself to say those last two words.

It was too hard to say.

Even just thinking about it made his stomach churn.

Su Yun sat in his boss chair, lifted his teacup, blew away the foam, and wore an inscrutable expression.

He didn't answer directly, but sighed instead.

The sigh was long and regretful, making Zhang Wei's heart skip a beat; he nearly died on the spot.

"Be precise." Su Yun put down the teacup and shook a finger.

"To be accurate, it was 'almost'."

"But…"

Su Yun paused deliberately, his eyes sweeping up and down over Zhang Wei. That look made Zhang Wei's hair stand on end, and he subconsciously wrapped his little blanket tighter around himself.

"Looking at your roommate's technique—skillful, natural, and fluid—he's clearly not a beginner."

"And that combo he pulled just now, from the hug to the stroking, and then to… *cough cough*, that suction."

"If it weren't your roommate, I would've thought it was some master playing with walnuts."

Pfft!

The viewers in the livestream who were drinking water sprayed their screens.

"What the hell, playing with walnuts!"

"Master Su, you really know how to use metaphors!"

"Zhang Wei: I treat you as a roommate, and you treat me as a walnut?"

"This car is moving too fast! The doors are welded shut, nobody is getting off!"

Zhang Wei was completely numb.

He felt like his skull was about to be blown off by those few sentences.

Playing with walnuts?

Treating himself like a walnut?

Just thinking about Wang Qiang's calloused hand on his body every night…

Ugh!

Zhang Wei covered his mouth and let out a dry heave.

"Master Su, please stop, I beg you, stop talking…"

He pleaded with a crying tone.

Su Yun, however, looked righteous and solemn, striking a pose as if conducting an academic discussion.

"My friend, we must believe in science, but also in metaphysics."

"Didn't you keep asking me if you were possessed by evil spirits?"

"Actually, looking at the divination, this is indeed a type of tribulation."

Upon hearing this, Zhang Wei grabbed onto it like a lifeline and quickly asked: "What kind of tribulation? Is it some evil ghost haunting me? Master Su, please tell me quickly, I have money, I have money to pay for a solution!"

Compared to being 'that' by his roommate, he would rather believe he was being haunted by an evil spirit right now.

At least a ghost wouldn't have those kinds of worldly desires for him!

Su Yun looked at him with pity and slowly spat out three words.

"Peach Blossom Tribulation."

Zhang Wei was stunned.

The chat was also stunned.

"Peach Blossom Tribulation?"

Zhang Wei pointed at his empty dorm doorway, then pointed at himself.

"Master Su, you call this a Peach Blossom Tribulation?"

"That's a 1.85-meter tall, 180-jin muscular man! Is that a peach blossom? That's an iron tree!"

Su Yun tutted, seemingly very dissatisfied with Zhang Wei's comprehension.

"Your perspective is too narrow, isn't it?"

"Who defined peach blossoms as necessarily being the opposite sex?"

"In metaphysics, any disaster caused by emotional entanglement is collectively called a Peach Blossom Tribulation."

"It's just that the one you encountered is a bit special."

Su Yun cleared his throat and gave the definition with a straight face.

"Although it's a bit big, a bit dark, and carries some parts it shouldn't have."

"But this is indeed a type of transformation caused by love turning into hate."

"In our industry, we usually call this special kind of Peach Blossom Tribulation, 'Chrysanthemum Ruin'."

Boom!

The livestream chat completely exploded.

The screen was covered in "Hahahaha".

"What the hell, Chrysanthemum Ruin!"

"Master Su, are you trying to laugh me to death so you can inherit my debts?"

"This pun is going to cost you money!"

"Even though it's not very kind, I really can't help it, hahahaha!"

"Zhang Wei: I've split apart, physically."

Zhang Wei wasn't just split apart at this point.

He felt like his whole Wang Gang was shattering.

Chrysanthemum Ruin?

These three words were like a heavy hammer, smashing fiercely onto his forehead.

Combined with that Jay Chou BGM from earlier, it was a total kill.

"Master Su…"

Zhang Wei slumped on the bed, his eyes vacant, as if he had just been trampled by life.

"Stop teasing me."

"I… I don't even dare to sleep now."

"Every time I close my eyes, I can see Wang Qiang's face, and I can still feel him touching me…"

"Help me, what should I do?"

Seeing Zhang Wei's hopeless expression, Su Yun felt the timing was about right.

If he teased him any further, this kid might run away overnight, carrying a train.

"Alright, no more jokes." Su Yun put away the playfulness on his face and returned to his expert demeanor.

"To resolve this tribulation, it's actually very simple."

"The best strategy is naturally the thirty-sixth stratagem: running away."

"Move out."

"You can't stay in this dorm anymore, unless you want to spend every night in this atmosphere of 'man-on-man' action."

Zhang Wei nodded his head like he was mashing garlic.

"Move! I'll move right now!"

"I'll move overnight! I don't want to stay in this crappy place for another second!"

Forget about moving out; even if he had to sleep under an overpass, he would never be willing to return to this dorm again.

Su Yun nodded and continued:

"Of course, if you really can't bear to move, or your financial situation doesn't allow it."

"I have a lower-tier strategy."

Saying this, Su Yun lowered his voice mysteriously.

Zhang Wei perked up his ears, and the chat also went quiet for a moment.

"Master Su, please tell me! As long as I can defend against Wang Qiang, I'll do anything!"

Su Yun leisurely took out an A4 sheet of paper from under the table, which seemed to have some sort of design blueprint on it.

He showed it to the camera.

"You can go online and customize a pair of pants."

"As for the material, 304 stainless steel is the first choice, remember to get the thickened version."

"The style should be based on this: a fully enclosed design, with a fingerprint lock installed on the critical area, and make sure it's a high-grade lock cylinder that is anti-pry and anti-drill."

"As long as you wear this magical artifact, let alone Wang Qiang, even if Wang Gang came, he'd just be staring helplessly."

"This is called physical defense, and it's the most lethal."

The viewers in the livestream were laughing like crazy.

"A chastity belt! Master Su, you're actually recommending he wear a chastity belt!"

"And it's stainless steel! Is this trying to break Wang Qiang's teeth?"

"And you want to add a fingerprint lock? Who is this defending against? Yourself sleepwalking and unlocking it?"

"That's so savage! You've taken all the bamboo shoots on the mountain!"

"I just want to know how to use the bathroom with these pants on? Waiting online, it's urgent."

Zhang Wei looked at the sketch on the screen, his expression a mix of emotions.

He wanted to cry, but also wanted to laugh.

Finally, it turned into a look of helplessness.

He finally realized that although Master Su was highly capable, his mouth was truly wicked.

Is this helping him?

This is clearly just using him as entertainment!

However, after Su Yun's joking around, the fear in his heart had dissipated quite a bit.

At the very least, that terrifying "ghost pressing the bed" had turned into a "mishap" that was a bit disgusting but also a bit funny.