51: Chapter 51 Variables

It wasn't that she had never heard a confession before.

In Law School, the number of confessions she had rejected was probably more than the number of defense briefs she had written.

Every time, she could handle it calmly, using the shortest sentences, the least amount of hurt, and the most decent way to put a full stop to it.

But this time was different.

This time, she was the one who wanted to take the initiative to step forward.

Outside the car window, the lights of Binjiang Road receded one by one, like fireworks playing in reverse.

Lin Wan's fingers gently tightened on her lap and then relaxed.

In her mind, she quickly evaluated her own plan.

Feasibility, success rate, and risk contingency plans.

Like a rigorous lawyer preparing for a crucial court session.

Feasibility: high.

Success rate: unknown.

Risk...

She glanced at the person beside her; the risk was that she might never be able to sit side-by-side with him like this again after tonight.

"Is it worth it?" she asked herself in her heart.

The answer was affirmative.

"Driver."

Lin Wan suddenly sat up straight, her voice clear, "Please pull over for a moment."

The designated driver glanced at her through the rearview mirror, somewhat surprised, but still turned on the signal and slowly pulled over to the side of the road.

Jiang Chen turned his head to look at her, a hint of doubt in his eyes.

The car came to a steady stop under the shadow of a plane tree, the wind blowing from the river making the shadows of the leaves rustle on the roof of the car.

Lin Wan unbuckled her seatbelt and turned toward Jiang Chen.

Her movements were crisp and neat, without the slightest bit of hesitation.

But only she knew that her fingertips were trembling slightly.

"Jiang Chen."

She said, looking directly into his eyes, "What I'm about to say next, you don't have to answer me right now."

Jiang Chen didn't speak, just quietly looked at her.

In the dim light of the car cabin, his eyes were very bright, like the surface of the deep sea illuminated by moonlight.

"I'm not used to this."

Lin Wan said, her voice slightly softer than before, but still steady.

"I'm used to having everything under control—cases, studies, interpersonal relationships. I'm used to thinking things through before acting, used to leaving some leeway, and used to not doing anything that puts me in a passive position."

She paused, her lips curving into a self-deprecating arc.

"But you seem to be a variable outside of my plan."

Jiang Chen's eyelashes flickered.

"Just now at the Bistro, when you answered that question of mine..."

Lin Wan continued, her speaking speed unconsciously quickening a bit, as if afraid she would lose her courage if she kept talking.

"You said some people know from the first meeting that they will always be thinking about them. I don't know if that person you were talking about was me, but I want to tell you!"

She took a deep breath.

"I want the person you're thinking about to be me!"

The moment those words were spoken, the car cabin became so quiet that only the faint static from the radio remained.

Lin Wan did not look away.

She watched Jiang Chen's expression change from surprise to a complexity she couldn't quite read, as if he were restraining something, yet also confirming something.

"This is my statement."

She added, her tone carrying a hint of the seriousness inherent to her profession.

"You can understand it as a declaration of stance; I'm not forcing you to make any decision. You can take your time, you can answer me tomorrow, or next week, or even..."

"Lin Wan." Jiang Chen interrupted her.

His voice wasn't loud, yet it had a power that made one quiet down.

Lin Wan closed her mouth.

Jiang Chen turned sideways, one hand propped on the back of her seat, leaning in slightly closer.

At this distance, she could clearly see the small mole at the corner of his eye that she hadn't noticed before.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"...Finished."

"Then it's my turn."

Jiang Chen's gaze fell on her face, from her eyebrows to the tip of her nose, to her lips, and then back to her eyes.

His gaze was unhurried, like he was reading a letter he couldn't bear to finish in one go.

"You said just now that you are a variable not in my plan," he said.

"Yes."

"Then do you know..." His voice lowered, so low it sounded like a secret intended for her ears only, "what 'variable' means?"

Lin Wan was stunned for a moment.

"In mathematics, a variable is the number that can change the result of the entire equation."

He said, "When there are no variables, everything is predictable, derivable, and calculable. But once a variable appears—"

He paused for a second.

"The entire system will reboot."

Lin Wan's breath hitched.

"The day you appeared..." Jiang Chen said, his gaze still locked onto her, "my entire system rebooted."

This sentence didn't have any flowery rhetoric, no vows of eternal love, and no blunt words like 'like' or 'heartbeat.'

But Lin Wan felt it was the most moving thing she had ever heard.

Because it sounded so much like something he would say.

Restrained, precise, yet incredibly heavy.

Lin Wan's eyes felt hot for a moment.

She blinked, forcing back the slight moisture.

"Jiang Chen!" she said, her voice a bit hoarse, "Do you know? If you took those words to court just now, the judge would definitely rule in your favor."

"Why?"

"Because the evidence is conclusive."

Jiang Chen gave a soft chuckle, the smile spreading from his eyes to the corners of his mouth, like the first touch of spring revealed when the snow melts.

Looking at that smile, Lin Wan suddenly felt that her risk assessment model had completely failed.

"I have one more thing to say," she spoke up.

"Hmm?"

"I said just now that you don't have to answer me right away," Lin Wan said, "but I've changed my mind now."

Jiang Chen raised an eyebrow.

"You'd better answer me now."

She said, her tone carrying a bit of unreasonable assertiveness.

"Otherwise I'll have insomnia, and insomnia will affect my performance in the Moot Court tomorrow. If my state is bad, I'll lose, and if I lose..."

"What will happen?"

"I'll blame you."

Looking at her serious yet domineering appearance, the smile in Jiang Chen's eyes deepened.

"That won't do," he said.

"What won't do?"

"I can't let you blame me."

Jiang Chen raised his hand, his movement very slow—slow enough for her to dodge at any moment.

Lin Wan did not dodge.

His fingertips landed by her ear, tucking a strand of hair messed up by the wind behind it.

The moment his fingertips brushed her earlobe, she felt a subtle tingle spread from the tip of her ear all the way to her fingertips, like being hit by a tiny electric current.

"My answer is—" he said.

Lin Wan held her breath.

"I don't need time to think."

He withdrew his hand from her ear, but didn't pull back completely; his palm rested on the back of her seat, in a semi-enclosing posture that left her plenty of room to leave.

"From the first time I saw you, I already knew."

Lin Wan felt her entire being heating up.

That heat wasn't a dry warmth, but a kind of overwhelming, uncontrollable emotion surging up from her chest.

She suddenly did something.

Something completely irrational, unrestrained, and unlike anything a Law School top student would do.

She leaned forward and kissed him.

It was very brief.

Brief enough to last only about two seconds.

Lips lightly pressed against his and then quickly pulled away, like a dragonfly touching the water's surface, leaving a circle of ripples.

When she pulled back, she realized the tips of her ears were already completely red.

Jiang Chen was stunned.

He clearly hadn't expected this.

The car cabin was quiet for about three seconds.

In those three seconds, Lin Wan's brain worked at high speed, deducing all the consequences of her previous action from A to Z.

The result of the deduction was: she was finished.

"I said I'm not used to this."

She spoke, her voice eight degrees lower than before, her speaking speed as fast as if she were making a final statement in court, "That behavior just now, you can understand it as..."

"Lin Wan."

...caused by a failure in emotional management."

"Lin Wan."

"A temporary impulse."

"Lin Wan."

She finally stopped and looked at him.