180: Growing pains and the awareness of being a "guardian"

As his training in "Energy Linguistics" grew increasingly refined, Excellence's control over his own abilities gradually transitioned from initial ignorant instinctual drives and frustration-filled loss of control to a more conscious, rule-based preliminary mastery. This elevation in cognitive level was like a key, opening the door deep within his heart to more complex realms of thought. He began to no longer be satisfied with merely knowing "how" (how to make lights flicker or move objects) and instead started involuntarily and clumsily exploring the deeper "why." The complex lights and shadows of the outside world, occasionally projected through limited information channels and filtered through layers, also left blurred and confusing imprints on his increasingly keen perception. A mix of responsibility, confusion, and a desire for exploration began to sprout and spread in the soil of his rapidly maturing mind, like a silent underground current.

Once, after completing a two-hour, mentally exhausting precision replication training session for "energy sentences," Excellence's forehead was covered in fine beads of sweat. His small face appeared somewhat pale due to intense concentration, but his eyes were exceptionally clear. He didn't immediately run to drink water or rest as usual; instead, he remained silent for a rare moment, then wiped his sweat with his sleeve, looked up at Evelyn, who was recording data, and asked softly with a cautious seriousness that belied his age:

"Sister Evelyn... sometimes I wonder... is this 'ability' of mine... is it actually a good thing, or a bad thing?" He furrowed his small brow slightly, struggling to organize his words as he tried to express the vague unease in his heart. "It seems... sometimes it can help, like... sensing something was wrong before, or making the toy car move... but... sometimes it causes trouble, makes me dizzy, breaks things... and... it seems like because I have it, those bad people found us, hurt the Class Monitor and everyone, and turned our home into this..." His voice grew lower and lower, finally becoming a mumble, his eyes revealing a trace of imperceptible confusion and guilt, as if he possessed not a gift, but a "trouble" that invited disaster.

Evelyn's finger, which was about to click save on the data, paused in mid-air because of this sudden, philosophically charged question. She turned her head, looking at Excellence with some surprise, meeting his eyes that were filled with sincere confusion and the light of seeking answers. She immediately realized that this child's mental growth had crossed an important threshold, moving from simple learning and adaptation into a more complex stage of exploring value judgments and identity. This was not a question that could be casually brushed off.

She put down her tablet and didn't answer immediately. Instead, she took Excellence's hand, walked to the rest area next to the training room, and sat with him on the soft floor mat. She contemplated for about ten seconds, as if carefully weighing her words, before speaking in an extremely serious and calm tone:

"Excellence, you've asked a very, very good question." She first affirmed his thinking, then picked up a glass of water from the side table, pointed to it, and used a simple yet powerful metaphor to try and materialize the abstract concept. "Look at this glass of water. It can quench thirst and nourish life; that's its 'goodness,' right? But if a glass of water is accidentally knocked over, it might ruin important blueprints; if a flood overflows, it can even wash away houses, which seems like its 'badness.' But can you say the water itself is good or bad?"

Excellence's eyes widened, and he looked at the clear water thoughtfully, shaking his head gently.

Evelyn continued to explain in simple terms: "Ability, or any kind of powerful force or tool, is actually just like this water. It doesn't inherently possess attributes of good or evil." Her gaze became profound. "Fire can warm us, cook food, and light up the darkness; but similarly, fire can bring destruction and pain. The key isn't what the fire or water is itself, but rather—the person using it, what purpose they hold, and whether they have mastered the safe and correct way to use it."

She refocused her gaze on Excellence, her eyes full of encouragement and trust. "Your ability is a very special and very powerful 'tool.' It is neither a natural 'blessing' nor a destined 'curse.' What it is depends entirely on you—Excellence, what kind of person you want to become in the future, and how much effort you are willing to put into learning how to harness it correctly. All the training we are doing now, learning the 'energy language' and establishing 'protocols,' is so that you can become a qualified master of this tool, learning to use it to create, to help, and to protect, avoiding the harm caused by it losing control. Ability itself does not distinguish between good and evil, but the choice of how to use that ability concerns a person's conscience and responsibility."

Excellence listened very intently, his small head tilted slightly as he struggled to digest the profound wisdom contained in these words. He looked at the glass of water, then down at his own hands; the confusion in his eyes gradually dissipated, replaced by a gradually clearing, pensive expression. He seemed to have vaguely touched an important boundary: the value of power is determined by the heart and actions of the user.

Glimpsing the Complexity of the World: The Blurred Boundaries of Good and Evil

A few days later, another opportunity further broadened Excellence's understanding of the boundaries between "good" and "bad." After dinner once, while Su Mu was browsing a strictly screened summary of external news to ensure it wouldn't cause excessive panic (this was one of the limited windows for "Homeland" to understand the dynamics of the outside world), a series of images from a distant war-torn region briefly flashed across the screen. Despite the images being processed and the sound removed, the sights of crumbling walls and helpless civilians were still impactful. Excellence happened to glance at the screen; although the images flashed by and Su Mu immediately switched the content, that fleeting glimpse still stirred waves in his heart.

He remained silent for a while, then suddenly leaned close to Su Mu and asked softly, with complete confusion: "Class Monitor... why... why are there bad people in the world? Why do they want to break other people's houses and make them cry? Can't everyone... just get along well, help each other, and be peaceful like we are in 'Homeland'? Why do they have to fight?" His small face was full of incomprehension; in his simple worldview, the mutual help and love within "Homeland" was the natural norm, while the naked destruction and malice of the outside was an incomprehensible "anomaly" that defied logic.

Su Mu's heart trembled slightly, a complex sense of heartache welling up. She turned off the screen, reached out her arm, and gently pulled Excellence into her embrace, letting him lean against her warm shoulder. She didn't brush him off with words like "you're still young, you don't understand." Instead, she felt it was necessary to give him an explanation that was as truthful as possible without destroying the beauty in his heart.

She sighed softly, her voice gentle yet carrying a trace of imperceptible heaviness. "This world, Excellence, is much bigger and much more complex than our 'Homeland.'" She chose a metaphor a child could understand. "Just like a big forest, there aren't only grass-eating, gentle deer and rabbits; there are also wolves that become fierce because of hunger, and tigers that fight to compete for territory. Some people might be filled with 'greed' like a black hole, always wanting to steal things from others; some people might be very 'afraid' that others will hurt them, so they strike first; and many others might have deep 'misunderstandings,' just like two people who don't speak the same language—you hand him a good candy, but he thinks you're going to hit him, so he gets angry..."

She paused, organized her thoughts, and continued, "So, not everyone is willing or able to live in peace. It is precisely because malice, greed, fear, and misunderstanding exist in the world that people like us are needed—people willing to guard the beautiful, kind, and peaceful things. Just as we fight desperately to protect the 'Homeland' and you. Our battles aren't meant to bully others, but to prevent those 'bad people' from destroying the peace and beauty we cherish. This is a... responsibility." She squeezed Excellence's shoulder firmly, trying to pass a resolute conviction to him: "Remember, Excellence, it is precisely because darkness exists that light and protection become exceptionally important and brave."

Excellence snuggled in Su Mu's arms, listening quietly. Although he didn't fully understand all the complex vocabulary, words like 'greed,' 'fear,' 'misunderstanding,' 'protection,' and 'responsibility'—along with the helpless yet firm strength in Su Mu's tone—fell into his heart like seeds. He seemed to vaguely realize that 'badness' wasn't always simple and direct; the rules of the world were far more intricate than he had imagined. Consequently, the act of 'protecting' was endowed with a deeper, more profound meaning.

A Shift in Action: The Budding Transition from Receiving to Giving

These soul-stirring conversations and reflections, like spring rain nourishing things silently, were quietly changing Excellence's behavior and inner drive. He no longer viewed his special ability merely as a 'subject' or 'burden' that needed passive control and mastery; he also began to vaguely realize the 'responsibility' inherent in it, which required cautious use. Furthermore, he no longer positioned himself as a pure 'beneficiary' who only needed protection; a hazy sense of 'duty' began to take root and sprout in his heart.

This inner awakening was most directly reflected in his daily actions:

The Sublimation of Training Attitude: His initiative and diligence in 'Energy Linguistics' training reached new heights. Previously, if he failed to reproduce a complex 'energy sentences,' he might pout, stomp his feet, or even give up briefly. Now, he would clench his teeth without a word, his little face tense, practicing over and over until he succeeded or Evelyn forced him to rest. He would proactively ask about the reasons for failure: "Sister Evelyn, is the 'rhythm' wrong here, or did I use too much 'power'?" A heartfelt desire to 'conquer' and 'master' replaced much of his playfulness and perfunctoriness.

Delicate Observation and Reciprocation of Emotions: He became more attentive and sensitive, beginning to consciously observe the emotional states of Su Mu and Evelyn. When he noticed Su Mu rubbing her brow while handling complicated affairs, he would silently pour a glass of warm water and hand it over, saying clumsily, "Class Monitor, drink some water. Water is field 'A'; it can bring calm." When he found Evelyn staring at the screen with tired eyes for a long time, he would lean in and tell a joke he had heard elsewhere—one that might not even be funny—trying to dispel her fatigue in his childish way. Though his methods were simple, that clumsy care made Su Mu and Evelyn feel deeply warmed and comforted.

Expansion of the Scope of Care: His love and sense of responsibility began to extend from Su Mu and Evelyn to the larger 'family' of the 'Homeland.' Using his crude but unique 'energy sensing,' he would walk around the base, noticing which areas' energy flows felt 'sluggish' or 'unstable' (potential precursors to aging equipment or loose interfaces). Then, like a little reporter, he would run solemnly to tell the uncles in the maintenance department: "Uncle Wang, the third vent in the east corridor—the 'energy' inside sounds a bit like it's 'coughing'; it might need a look." At first, the adults found it amusing and didn't take it seriously, but after several verifications proved that the places he pointed out indeed had hidden dangers, they began to look at his 'warnings' with new respect.

A warm moment vividly illustrated this growth: a young researcher who had recently arrived at the 'Homeland' and was somewhat introverted was feeling extremely depressed because an important experiment had failed several times in a row. He sat silently on a bench in the corridor, head down, shoulders trembling slightly. Excellence happened to pass by with Su Mu and saw this. He stopped, looked at the older brother, and then looked up at Su Mu. Su Mu encouraged him with her eyes. Excellence thought for a moment, ran back to his small room, and took out his favorite strawberry pudding—the one Su Mu had rewarded him with yesterday that he hadn't been able to bring himself to eat. He walked up to the researcher, stood on tiptoe, and carefully placed the pudding on the bench beside him, saying in a childish but incredibly sincere tone: "Brother, eat this. Class Monitor says that when you eat sweet things, the sad 'gray energy' runs away and turns into happy 'colorful energy'! It's okay if the 'energy field' failed; my little car fails a lot too. Just try a few more times, and when you say the 'energy sentences' right, it will be fine!"

The researcher, who was immersed in a sense of frustration, looked up in astonishment. Seeing Excellence's clear, kind, and encouraging eyes, and then looking at the cute pudding on his lap, he was stunned for a moment. Then, a warm current surged into his heart, his lips involuntarily curled upward, and his face showed its first genuine smile in days. He took the pudding, rubbed Excellence's head, and his voice choked up slightly: "Thank you, little Excellence! I feel... much better! You're right, failure is the mother of success! I'll keep working hard!"

Standing not far away, Su Mu watched this scene, her eyes moistening slightly, her heart filled with indescribable emotion and pride. The little sapling that once needed all-around care had unknowingly sprouted new branches and was beginning to try to provide a small patch of shade and solace for those around him with his weak but sincere strength.

Growing Pains and a Firm Core

Of course, the road to growth was never smooth. Excellence still encountered setbacks from time to time: 'energy multi-threading' exercises often left him flustered, with two small devices twitching like they were dancing; when trying to understand some of the profound theories Evelyn explained, he would still scratch his head in frustration, feeling like his 'brain wasn't enough'; in the dead of night, he would occasionally still secretly miss the carefree days before the war when he could 'tinker' as he pleased.

However, unlike before, he was no longer easily defeated by these difficulties, nor did he fall into long periods of self-doubt or complaining. He would learn from the way Su Mu comforted him, telling himself, "It's okay, Excellence, take a deep breath." Then he would slap his little face hard, cheer himself up, and say with determined eyes, "Try again! I can definitely do it!" This inner resilience and optimism comforted Su Mu and Evelyn far more than any technical progress.

At night, when the 'Homeland' fell into silence and only the patrol lights occasionally swept across the window, Excellence would lie in bed, his small hand tightly gripping the pendant Su Mu and Evelyn had given him. (It was polished from scraps of a special ore from the base that could store a tiny amount of light energy, emitting an extremely faint, warm glow in the dark.) Looking at the familiar silhouette of the 'Homeland' outside the window, which seemed particularly peaceful in the night, he would silently make a vow—a vow clearer and firmer than any previous wish:

"I want to grow up fast and become very, very strong... strong enough to protect Class Monitor, protect Sister Evelyn, and protect all the uncles and aunties in the 'Homeland'... strong enough so those bad people never dare to bully us again... I want to use my ability to guard the warmth and peace here... Class Monitor, Sister Evelyn, just you wait and see! I can definitely do it!"

From a passive object of protection to an awakened one longing to proactively shoulder the responsibility of guarding. Excellence's growth had already embarked on a new and more profound milestone. The road ahead was still full of thorns, long and difficult, but his heart had already lit an unquenchable lamp fueled by love, responsibility, and courage, illuminating the direction of his progress.