35: A malicious online marketplace debuts – these products are seriously shady!

The first cafeteria of Tianqiong War God Academy was named 'Taotie Pavilion'.

The building itself was a massive work of art, constructed entirely from high-strength transparent polymer and suspended in mid-air. Dining here allowed one to taste delicacies from various regions while overlooking the churning sea of clouds below and the continuous mountain ranges in the distance.

Gu Fan carried a tray piled high like a small mountain and found a corner seat by the window to sit down.

On the tray were the academy's special 'Psionic Braised Pork' and 'Steamed Deep-Sea Bluefin Tuna.' Not only were they delicious, but every bite increased a tiny amount of blood and qi values.

"As expected of a top-tier institution, even the pork tastes like hard work."

Gu Fan picked up a piece of braised pork, stuffed it into his mouth, and squinted his eyes in satisfaction.

While eating, he woke up the System in his mind.

"Systy, open that newly launched 'malice mall'."

[Ding! malice mall (1.0 Beta Version) has been opened.]

Along with a crisp notification sound, a virtual interface full of cyberpunk style unfolded before Gu Fan's eyes.

The interface was dazzling, filled with various icons, but most were grayed out, displaying 'Insufficient Permissions' or 'Insufficient Balance'.

Gu Fan glanced at the balance in the upper right corner: [malice points: 2350.]

This was a 'huge sum' saved up over the past few days from those Gu Family relatives, plus the wave contributed by Tiger Lei just now.

"Let me see what good things I can buy."

Gu Fan's gaze swept over the lit-up items.

[100% Catching a Blade Barehanded Gloves (Common Version)]: Price 500 malice points.

Description: Put it on, and you are the Reincarnation of Li Jing. Any cold weapon swung at you will be caught by your hands involuntarily. Side effect: If the opponent uses a smelly foot attack, you might find it quite embarrassing.

[True · Crow's Mouth Experience Card (Limited Time 1 Minute)]: Price 1000 malice points.

Description: A low-end version of 'Words are Law.' Within these 60 seconds, any bad thing you say (not limited to bad luck) will immediately happen under the forced intervention of the law of Karma. Note: You cannot directly curse someone to death; that's too boring. The System advocates 'winning people over with virtue'.

[Make the Opponent Call You Daddy on the Spot Spray]: Price 2000 malice points (Currently out of stock).

Description: As the name suggests, spray whoever you want to show filial piety. A must-have Divine Artifact for family dramas.

['Great Dao Returns to One Art' · Qi Refining Chapter AFK Acceleration Pack]: Price 5000 malice points.

Description: Whether sleeping or daydreaming, Cultivate speed is increased by 300%. Let you experience the thrill of Ascension like sitting on a rocket.

Looking at these product descriptions, Gu Fan couldn't help but want to give the System planner a thumbs up.

This wasn't a mall; it was clearly a wholesale market for prank props.

"That acceleration pack is good, but it's too expensive; I'll have to save up."

Gu Fan rubbed his chin. "That Crow's Mouth Experience Card seems quite cost-effective. I happen to have many 'kind words' I want to say to certain people."

Just as Gu Fan was pondering whether to splurge...

"Clang!"

A sharp, loud noise interrupted his thoughts.

Gu Fan felt the table shake violently. His cup of Freshly Squeezed Spiritual Fruit Juice, which he hadn't had a chance to drink yet, was knocked over. The orange liquid spilled all over the table and dripped down the edge onto his pants.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

A voice full of affectation and mockery sounded above his head. "My hand slipped; I didn't hold it steady."

Gu Fan looked up.

Standing before him was a male student wearing a high-end school uniform, with hair combed slick and shiny, and a ruby stud in his left ear.

Zhao Gang.

The unlucky guy who had been slapped away by a stone and hung on a lamp post during the entrance test.

At this moment, Zhao Gang was followed by two or three lackeys who also looked ill-intentioned.

It seemed that after lying in the infirmary for a day, his injuries had healed quickly. Not only did he not learn his lesson, but because he had lost face that day, his hatred had grown even stronger.

"Gu Fan, right?"

Zhao Gang looked down at Gu Fan, holding a meal tray that was still dripping with soup. He had clearly bumped the base of the tray into Gu Fan's cup on purpose.

"I heard you showed off in Tiger Lei's class? You can even eat chalk?"

Zhao Gang sneered, the malice in his eyes almost overflowing. "What? The cafeteria food doesn't suit your taste? Do you want this senior to reward you with something good?"

Saying that, Zhao Gang deliberately tilted his wrist.

The half-finished slop in his tray, mixed with various soups and leftovers, was about to be poured over Gu Fan's head.

This wasn't just a provocation; it was blatant humiliation.

The surrounding students stopped their chopsticks one after another, casting sympathetic or expectant looks.

"Isn't that Zhao Gang? From a branch of the Zhao Family, he usually acts tyrannical relying on Senior Simp."

"Gu Fan is in trouble now. Although he was a bit strange during the test, this is a real face-to-face conflict, and Zhao Gang is a B-rank Strength Awakener!"

Gu Fan looked at the pouring slop, but there wasn't a trace of panic on his face.

He even revealed a brilliant smile.

[Ding! Detected 'Intentional Defilement and Public Humiliation' malice from 'Zhao Gang'.]

[malice points +200!]

"System, exchange for [True · Crow's Mouth Experience Card]! Use it immediately!"

Gu Fan muttered in his heart.

[Ding! Exchange successful! 1000 malice points deducted. Experience card in effect, countdown 59 seconds...]

Just at the critical moment when the slop was about to touch the tips of Gu Fan's hair.

Gu Fan still sat in his chair without moving, but he spoke.

His voice wasn't loud, but it clearly reached the ears of everyone present.

"Senior, one must be down-to-earth."

"The cafeteria floor was just mopped; it's very slippery. If your movements are too large, it's easy to do a split. And..."

Gu Fan paused, his eyes incredibly sincere. "With this split, your center of gravity will be unstable, and your head will easily fall into the Slop Recycling Bin next to you."

Hearing this, Zhao Gang laughed loudly: "Ha? You're cursing me? I've practiced lower body techniques; how could I possibly..."

Before he could finish his sentence.

Karma descended.

Zhao Gang's left foot on the floor suddenly felt like it stepped on an invisible super banana peel.

"Sliiiiide—!"

Without any warning, his left foot slid forward at a speed exceeding human limits, while his right foot remained firmly planted.

And so.

"Riiiiiip—!!!"

A tooth-aching sound of fabric tearing accompanied by the crisp sound of a ligament strain echoed in the cafeteria.

Zhao Gang's whole body instantly became half as tall.

An extremely standard 'split' that would make a dance teacher stand up and applaud was displayed so defenselessly.

"Ahhhhhhh—!!!"

The shrill scream hadn't fully come out before it stopped abruptly.

Because with this violent split, Zhao Gang's upper body lost its balance, and he lunged forward.

And less than half a meter in front of him, there happened to be a half-person-high stainless steel bin used for recycling food waste.

"Thud!"

A muffled sound.

Zhao Gang's head, along with his shoulders, plunged accurately and tightly into the bin filled with leftovers.

Because the impact was too great, his whole body was in an inverted position, his two legs kicking wildly in the air. The newly torn crotch of his pants looked particularly desolate in the air, revealing the red Benmingnian Underwear inside.

The cafeteria was dead silent.

Everyone held their chopsticks, mouths wide open, watching this absurd scene.

What did Gu Fan say just now?

Easy to do a split? Head plunge into the slop bin?

This was too accurate! Was this mouth blessed?!

"Mmph! Mmph mmph mmph!"

Zhao Gang struggled desperately in the bin, letting out muffled cries for help. He was clearly blocked by leftovers or about to pass out from the soul-stirring smell.

His lackeys finally reacted, their faces turning pale with fright as they rushed forward to pull him out.

"Brother Gang! Brother Gang, hang in there!"

"Quick! Pull harder! It seems stuck!"

"Pop!"

Finally, with a sound like pulling a cork, Zhao Gang was finally pulled out.

At this moment, he had a few rotten vegetable leaves on his head, noodles hanging from his face, and his whole body emitted a nauseating sour stench. His eyes were blank; he was clearly questioning his life.

"Pfft, hahahaha!"

Not knowing who started it, the entire cafeteria instantly erupted in roof-raising laughter.

Gu Fan calmly picked up a tissue, wiped the few drops of juice off his pants, shook his head, and had an expression of 'failing to live up to expectations'.

"See, I told you."

"If you don't listen to your elders, you'll suffer before your eyes."

"Senior, walk carefully in the future. If you take too big a step, it's really easy to tear your balls."

Hearing this, Zhao Gang's heart was overcome with rage, and coupled with that overwhelming smell, his eyes rolled back, and he fainted directly.

[Ding! Detected 'Zhao Gang's' emotions of collapse and despair (persisting even while fainted). malice points +300!]

[Detected the 'extreme shock' and 'wariness' emotions of the surrounding crowd. malice points +200.]

Gu Fan looked at the balance in his account, which had decreased by a thousand and then increased by a few hundred, and stretched with satisfaction.

"This experience card is really worth it."

He stood up, picked up his tray, and walked toward the tableware recycling area under everyone's awe-struck gazes, as if nothing had happened.

"Systy, lock that [Acceleration Pack] for me."

"Tonight, I'm going to give my good roommate a little shock of immortal cultivation."