70: Chapter 70 Club Ranking Scandal: The Worst Club?

Tianqiong War God Academy, Club Management Center Building.

This building was one of the symbols of the academy's power, but it was currently shrouded in a murderous atmosphere.

The hall was packed with people, all elites from various clubs.

Shiny club badges were pinned to their chests, and their faces were filled with pride and restraint.

The air was thick with two scents: one was the aura of the strong, and the other... was the smell of spicy hotpot base that had just been finished.

“Make way, excuse me, I just ate my fill, don't squeeze my stomach.”

Gu Fan picked his teeth and let out a burp, leading his Lying Flat Dream Team through the crowd.

Xiao Fan followed behind, desperately trying to maintain his aloof War God persona.

But the red oil on the corner of his mouth that hadn't been wiped clean, along with the slightly unnatural way he walked from being overstuffed, completely gave him away.

Lin Xue kept her head down, wishing she could bury her face in the two large bags of rice she was carrying.

As a professional secret agent, she felt that this moment was more agonizing than infiltrating behind enemy lines.

As for Wangcai, the lion held its head high and walked with an arrogant, swaggering gait; anyone who didn't know better would think it was the boss here.

“Yo, isn't this that famous Trash shelter—the Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society?”

A magnetic but mocking voice cut through the noise of the hall.

The crowd automatically parted to make a path.

A group of burly men walked over, wearing uniform white martial arts robes, their muscular physiques stretching the fabric tight.

The leader was two meters tall, and his whole body was steaming like a boiling pot.

His shiny bald head dazzled under the lights, with 'Elite' embroidered on his left chest and 'Martial Arts' on his right.

The president of the Elite Martial Arts Society, Zhao Tiezhu.

He was also the cousin of Zhao Gang, who had been tricked by Gu Fan into a “jet-propelled takeoff” during the Freshman Grand Competition.

“Gu Fan.”

Zhao Tiezhu sized Gu Fan up from head to toe, his hostility undisguised, “I heard your club hasn't gone belly up yet? You've got a tough life, just like a cockroach.”

A burst of laughter erupted from the surroundings.

“Hahaha, President Zhao's metaphor is perfect!”

“True, their club is the only one in the whole school with zero points, right? This kind of tumor should have been cut out long ago.”

“Why is the academy keeping them? It's a waste of resources.”

Being cursed to his face, Gu Fan wasn't angry; instead, he nodded in great agreement.

“Cockroach? Hmm, such a creature is indeed worthy of admiration.”

Gu Fan said seriously, “They've lived on Blue Star for hundreds of millions of years; the dinosaurs are all dead, but they're still here. What does that show? It shows that lying flat is the ultimate Profound Truth of evolution. Those who toss and turn are all gone; those who hunker down are the winners.”

The whole place... Zhao Tiezhu's smile froze on his face.

How was this kid's brain wired?

Was I complimenting you?!

“Stop being a smart-mouth!”

Zhao Tiezhu snorted coldly and turned to the club administrator behind the counter, who wore black-rimmed glasses and a serious expression, “Teacher Liu, according to the club management regulations, shouldn't this kind of 'three-no' club with no activities, no achievements, and no contributions be abolished immediately?”

Teacher Liu pushed up his glasses, took out a formal document, and looked coldly at Gu Fan.

“Student Gu Fan, President Zhao is right.”

“The System shows that since the establishment of your Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society, the activity record is zero, the mission completion rate is zero, and aside from occupying a Feng Shui... cough, a Dormitory 404, you have no presence whatsoever.”

Teacher Liu slapped the document onto the table, “This is the final ultimatum. If you can't produce any substantial club development results today or prove the value of your club's existence, I will represent the Academic Affairs Office and announce the dissolution of the Lying Flat Society on the spot, reclaiming the activity venue.”

“Did you hear that? You losers.”

Zhao Tiezhu crossed his arms, showing off his granite-like biceps, “A real club is like ours, sweating every day to bring glory to the academy! Not hiding in a dormitory cooking hotpot!”

“Now, immediately, right now, get out of here!”

With Zhao Tiezhu's roar, dozens of elite members behind him stepped forward in unison, their momentum pushing forward like a wall.

Xiao Fan's eyes sharpened, his hand already touching the hilt of his sword.

Lin Xue also secretly gripped a smoke grenade.

Only Gu Fan still looked like he hadn't woken up.

He sighed and rubbed his throbbing temples.

“Does there have to be a result?”

Gu Fan looked at Teacher Liu with clear and innocent eyes, “Our club's purpose is to purify the Soul and return to one's true self. We don't produce points; we are just nature's porters... oh no, regulators of emotion. Living, and living happily, isn't that the greatest result?”

“Nonsense!”

Before Teacher Liu could speak, Zhao Tiezhu exploded, “Can happiness be eaten? Can happiness kill Vicious Beasts? In this world where the strong prey on the weak, even breathing is a mistake for the weak!”

“I see you're all just a bunch of useless Trash! Since you don't want to get out, I'll help you get out!”

A fierce light flashed in Zhao Tiezhu's eyes.

He really couldn't stand Gu Fan's calm and breezy attitude.

That feeling was like punching cotton, making a tough guy like him who worshipped power feel frustrated and disgusted.

“Get down on the ground!”

Zhao Tiezhu reached out his large hand, carrying the pressure of a Grandmaster, and pressed it directly toward Gu Fan's shoulder.

This press wasn't just to push him; it also hid a type of internal force called Mount Tai Press.

If this hit solidly, the person would kneel on the spot, and their bones would make a crisp cracking sound.

[Ding! Detected strong 'contempt and suppression' malice from 'Zhao Tiezhu' and his group.]

[Source of Malice: Attempting to force others to kneel through violent means, denying others' way of life.]

[Judgment: This is an open provocation to the Dao of Lying Flat. Since they love sweating and showing off their strength so much, let them show it off to their heart's content.]

[Backlash triggered! Multiplier: Two hundred times!]

[Law of Karma Loading: Absolute Passion · Spartan-style Involution Special Training.]

[Description: Didn't you say you wanted to sweat? The System will satisfy you. From now on, you will become the most fanatical promotional ambassadors of the Lying Flat Divine Sect. The more tired the body, the deeper the faith.]

Just before Zhao Tiezhu's palm was about to touch Gu Fan's shoulder.

Gu Fan suddenly took a small step back.

This step back was extremely well-timed, as if it had been calculated.

Zhao Tiezhu's palm hit empty air, and his body lunged forward violently due to inertia.

Everyone thought he was going to fall flat on his face like Teacher Li before.

But a bizarre scene occurred.

Zhao Tiezhu did not fall.

He forcibly twisted his waist in mid-air, propped himself up with both hands, and kicked back with both legs, landing in a push-up position that was more standard than standard.

Then.

“Hah!”

Zhao Tiezhu let out an earth-shattering roar.

He started doing push-ups.

His speed was lightning fast, so fast that his arms left afterimages.

One, two, ten, a hundred... the floor slapped loudly under him, and sweat instantly drenched his vest.

In the hall, you could hear a pin drop.

Teacher Liu's glasses slid to the tip of his nose.

Xiao Fan's hand holding the sword froze.

What kind of tactic was this?

Toad Style?!

The even more ridiculous part was yet to come.

While frantically doing push-ups, Zhao Tiezhu shouted at the top of his lungs with a voice ten times more excited and passionate than before:

“This! Is! The power of Lying Flat!!”

“Only extreme training! Is worthy of extreme Lying Flat!!”

“I've realized it! I've finally realized it!!”

“Long live the Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society! Long live President Gu!!”

With every shout, he performed a clap push-up.

That voice was full of deep emotion and fanaticism, as if Gu Fan wasn't his enemy, but his long-lost spiritual mentor.

“President?!”

The dozens of elite members behind Zhao Tiezhu were also completely dumbfounded.

Just as they were about to go up to help, a mysterious force took control of their bodies.

It was the contagion of the Law of Karma.

Thud!

Thud!

Thud!

Dozens of burly men fell to the ground in unison.

The hall suddenly turned into a massive gym.

Some were doing push-ups, some were doing sit-ups, and others were practicing burpees.

But their slogans were surprisingly consistent:

“Join the Lying Flat Society! Enjoy a new life!”

“I'm not tired! I'm very happy! This is a baptism for the Soul!”

“President Gu is awesome! Lying flat is the truth!”

The scene was too intense, too weird, and too hilarious.

The surrounding members of other clubs were all staring in shock.

Was this still that arrogant Elite Martial Arts Society?

How did they become the Lying Flat Society's cheerleading squad in the blink of an eye?

Moreover, this scene of sweating while shouting about lying flat was filled with a certain bizarre sense of comedy.

“This...”

The document in Teacher Liu's hand fell to the ground with a 'thud'.

He had managed clubs for twenty years and had never seen such a ridiculous scene.

Gu Fan looked at the group of sweating men and nodded with satisfaction.

He turned around and looked at the already petrified Teacher Liu.

“Teacher Liu, look.”

Gu Fan pointed at Zhao Tiezhu and the others on the ground, his tone serious, “This is our club's achievement.”

“Although we haven't held activities, we are dedicated to 'influencing' our fellow students.”

“Look, even the president of the Elite Martial Arts Society has been won over by our club culture and is voluntarily promoting us. Doesn't this kind of cross-club friendship, this kind of spiritual recognition, have more value than those cold statistics?”

Teacher Liu: “...”

He looked at Zhao Tiezhu, who was still frantically doing push-ups on the ground, his face turned the color of pig liver but still shouting “Long live Lying Flat,” and his mouth twitched uncontrollably.

You call this influencing?

This is clearly a cult scene!

But... according to the “influence” item in the club rating rules, being able to make the president of the school's largest club promote them so wholeheartedly, this influence was simply off the charts!

“Cough, cough...”

Teacher Liu struggled to pick up the document and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, “This... although the form is rather... unique, it does indeed reflect your club's... certain appeal.”

“In that case, the proposal to dissolve the Lying Flat Society is temporarily shelved.”

Hearing this, Xiao Fan and Lin Xue both breathed a sigh of relief.

Especially Lin Xue; as she looked at Gu Fan's back, the fear in her eyes deepened.

Physical attacks were ineffective, and now even mental control was this terrifying?

One sentence and people are doing push-ups and shouting slogans?

What kind of demonic ability is this?!

Just as Gu Fan was preparing to finish up and go back to the dormitory to sleep.

Teacher Liu suddenly changed the subject.

“However!”

Teacher Liu pushed up his glasses, a sharp light flashing in his eyes, “While the death penalty is avoided, punishment is still due.”

“In view of your club's special performance, the academy has decided to give you a special slot.”

“In next week's Hundred Clubs Battle Flag Capture Competition, your Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society must participate.”

“And, you must enter the top three. Otherwise, you will still be dissolved.”

As soon as these words came out, the surroundings were suddenly in an uproar.

“Hundred Clubs Battle? That's a real combat exercise!”

“Yeah, it's held in the Tactical Simulation Zone, spiritual energy weapons can be used, and even a certain degree of casualties is allowed!”

“Letting a few lying-flatters participate in a free-for-all? Isn't that just sending them to their deaths?”

Zhao Tiezhu, who was still doing push-ups on the ground, slowed down for a beat, a hint of schadenfreude flashing in his eyes.

Good!

As long as we get to the battlefield and leave this damned hall, I will definitely get back today's humiliation a thousandfold!

I'll beat the crap out of you!

Gu Fan frowned.

“Hundred Clubs Battle? Flag capture?”

He instinctively wanted to refuse.

Fighting and killing was so tiring; it would be better to spend that time sleeping more.

“Not going. Too tiring.”

Gu Fan shook his head decisively.

“If you don't go, you're dissolved.”

Teacher Liu's attitude was firm, “And, the prizes this time are very generous.”

“The champion club will receive one year's usage of a Heaven-Grade Spirit Gathering Array, and... that War God Banner that symbolizes glory.”

Teacher Liu pointed to a flag hanging in the center of the hall.

It was left by the previous champion.

Gu Fan followed his finger and looked.

He had no interest in the Spirit Gathering Array; anyway, he grew stronger just by breathing.

When his gaze fell on that flag, his eyes suddenly lit up.

He didn't know what material the banner was made of; it was pure white all over, emitting a soft luster, and even from this far away, he could feel that silky, soft, and skin-friendly texture.

That was the legendary Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Silk.

Impervious to water and fire, cool in summer and warm in winter, its softness was ten times that of cotton.

Gu Fan swallowed his saliva.

His current bedsheets were a bit pilled and uncomfortable to sleep on.

If he could use this thing to make a bedsheet... and then make two pillowcases... wouldn't he be able to directly achieve Ascension in his dreams?

“Deal.”

Gu Fan's face changed in a second, revealing a smile of determination.

He turned around and waved his hand at Zhao Tiezhu and the others who were still frantically doing push-ups on the ground.

“Did you hear that? My future defeated opponents.”

“Go back and practice well, because in next week's competition, I'm going to use that flag...”

Gu Fan paused, a fanatical light flashing in his eyes that no one could understand:

“I'm going to use it to wrap this heart of mine that longs for warm sleep in this cold world.”

Everyone: “???”

Although they didn't understand, it felt very impressive!

[Ding! Detected the host's strong Battle Intent generated for the 'top-quality bedsheet'.]

[System Evaluation: This is very reasonable. Fighting for the sake of sleep is the highest Realm of lying flat.]

[Mission Issued: Capture the Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Silk banner. Reward: Fully Automatic Intelligent Massage Mattress (Divine-Grade Magic Treasure).]

Gu Fan's mouth was about to grin from ear to ear.

He seemed to already see himself lying on a Divine-Grade mattress, covered with silkworm silk sheets, living a boring life of having clothes and food brought to him.

“Let's go! Back to the dormitory!”

Gu Fan waved his hand grandly, full of high spirits, “For our new bedsheets... oh no, for the glory of the club! Prepare for battle!”

Behind him, Xiao Fan's blood was boiling:

“Yes! President! I will use the sword in my hand to cut a bloody path to the championship for you!”

Lin Xue looked numb:

“I just hope this time you don't make me sell my blood again...”

Wangcai: “Woof!”

(I want to sleep on the new sheets too!)

The group left in a grand manner.

Leaving only Zhao Tiezhu in the hall, still huffing and puffing through push-ups, sweat and tears mixed together, flowing all over the floor.

“Two hundred and fifty... I can't do it anymore... someone save me... I want to go home...”

On this turbulent afternoon.

Everyone at Tianqiong War God Academy had a premonition that the upcoming Hundred Clubs Battle would likely turn into an unprecedented—disaster.

Or rather, a joke.