86: Chapter 86: An awards ceremony? No, it's a live-streaming sales event.

In the end, Dean did not flip the table.

It wasn't that he didn't want to, but that piece of tripe was just too fragrant... No, it was the Dean's cultivation that allowed him to endure it.

But his face was so dark it could have been scraped for soot. Standing on the podium, he looked exactly like a debt collector.

“Now, we will proceed with the award ceremony.”

Dean gripped the microphone, his voice stiff and devoid of any festive cheer. “Champions, Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society. Come up.”

The applause from below was sparse, drowned out by boos and unconvinced scoffs.

Gu Fan hadn't even changed his clothes; he walked onto the stage in those SpongeBob pajamas, his slippers clattering with every step.

Behind him, Xiao Fan held a pitch-black frying pan, and Lin Xue wore sunglasses with a cold expression. This combination standing there turned the award ceremony into the curtain call of a circus troupe.

“Wait!!”

Just as Gu Fan’s hand was about to touch the trophy, a roar interrupted the process.

From the Student Union group, a male student with slicked-back hair and gold-rimmed glasses stepped out.

Zhao Zhengyi, the Student Union Chairman, a famous 'stickler for the rules.'

He pushed up his glasses, his gaze piercing like two nails. “Dean, I object!”

“Gu Fan's victory does not follow the rules! He used large-scale psychotropic drugs! Perhaps even forbidden arts!! Otherwise, how could fifty elites fall asleep at the same time? Even a trained martial artist like Zhao Tiezhu fell for it?!”

Zhao Zhengyi turned to all the students and incited them loudly: “Everyone! We are the strong! We want a fair and square fight, not these underhanded methods! I request a strict investigation into Gu Fan! Disqualify his results!!”

“Investigate!! Investigate!!”

The clubs that had lost miserably immediately joined the clamor, their voices rising wave after wave.

Dean didn't say a word, only glancing at Gu Fan from the corner of his eye as if waiting for a good show. To be honest, he was also curious about the trick behind that eerie hypnosis.

Gu Fan sighed and reached into his pajama pocket.

Everyone thought he was going to pull out a weapon.

Instead, he slowly pulled out noise-canceling earplugs and tucked them into his ears one by one.

“So noisy...”

Gu Fan spoke into the microphone, his voice lazy. “This... Student Zhao, right? You say I used drugs? Where’s the evidence? Without evidence, I’ll sue you for defamation.”

“The facts are right before us!” Zhao Zhengyi pointed at Gu Fan’s nose. “Explain right now, why are you fine? Why did everyone else fall asleep? Unless you have a guilty conscience!”

[Ding! Detected ‘Malicious Entanglement’ and ‘Moral Kidnapping’ from ‘Zhao Zhengyi’.]

[Malice Judgment: Extremely noisy, like an endless chirping cicada.]

[Backlash Activated: Law of Karma · Infant Regression Syndrome.]

Gu Fan smiled.

He smiled exceptionally brightly.

“Explain? Why should I explain?”

Gu Fan shrugged. “Maybe... everyone was just tired? Pressure is high these days; everyone needs a little... maternal care?”

Zhao Zhengyi was about to roar 'Bullshit.'

Suddenly, his open mouth froze.

A surge of baseless grievance and panic instantly overwhelmed his brain.

The shrewdness and sharpness in his eyes vanished, replaced by a layer of mist, looking utterly helpless.

Then, under the gaze of thousands of eyes across the school.

This usually serious and rigid Student Union Vice-Chairman slowly stuffed his thumb into his mouth.

He began to suck.

Smack, smack.

Then, his body began to sway left and right, and a garbled tune hummed from his throat:

“Sleep... sleep... my baby...”

“Mother's hands... gently rock you...”

This time, it truly went quiet.

Even the wind seemed to stop.

Everyone stood with their mouths agape, watching Zhao Zhengyi suck his thumb while drooling and singing a lullaby. Finally, he let out a burp in public and, with a dazed look, burrowed into the arms of a nearby burly man, muttering “huggie.”

“Pfft—Hahahahahahaha!!!!”

No one knew who started it, but the laughter simply exploded.

Some students pounded the ground laughing, while others made pig-like snorting sounds.

The faces of the Student Union members behind Zhao Zhengyi turned completely green, wishing they could evaporate on the spot.

“It seems...”

Gu Fan pulled out his earplugs, clicked his tongue, and looked at Zhao Zhengyi. “This student's childhood might not have been very perfect. See, he craves it so much; let's not blame him.”

He turned to the still-stunned Dean and directly reached out to take the trophy.

“Dean, the process is done, right? Can I say a few words?”

Without waiting for Dean to nod, Gu Fan gripped the microphone and cleared his throat toward the crowd that was going crazy with laughter.

“Ahem.”

“Winning this championship, I most want to thank my sponsors.”

“Thanks to the Iron Brotherhood for the points, thanks to the Extreme Speed Society for the jokes, and especially thanks to that Thunder Flood Dragon brother in Thunder Roar Canyon for providing the floor heating service.”

“Finally, I’d like to promote a product to everyone.”

Gu Fan held up the un-cut championship banner, displaying it like a TV shopping host:

“See this material? See this luster?”

“Want to be like me and sleep peacefully in a thunderstorm? Want to be like Student Zhao Tiezhu and sleep like a baby?”

“Lying Flat Society Brand Sleep Set, you deserve it. Join us, and we won't just teach you how to sleep, but also how to... sleep-due your enemies.”

“Thank you everyone, remember to leave a five-star review, dear.”

After finishing, Gu Fan flashed a peace sign at the camera, tossed the trophy into Lin Xue’s arms, and walked off carrying the banner.

Below the stage.

Thunderous applause erupted.

Regardless of whether they were convinced or not, Gu Fan had certainly made a grand display today.

No one noticed.

In the shadows at the outermost edge of the crowd.

A man in a black trench coat was leaning against a pillar, playing with a playing card in his hand.

The King of Hearts.

He pushed up the gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose. The lenses reflected light, obscuring his eyes, but the curve of his lips was cold.

“An interesting power of rules...”

“Not an ability, not martial arts, not even cultivation...”

“Is this the variable that 'Zero' has been looking for?”

With a flick of King of Hearts' finger, the playing card flew out.

There was no sound.

A nearby steel pipe snapped into two pieces, the cut smooth and warm, like solidified honey.

“It seems I'll have to use that thing.”

“I hope he's a bit more... durable than these trash students.”