78: Chapter 78 Landing and Getting Killed? No, it's Landing and Getting a Family.

The sensation of teleporting was truly unbearable, like being shoved into a drum washing machine set to the highest spin cycle; it felt like my brains were about to be blended smooth.

"Blegh..."

Xiao Fan was the first to land. His knees buckled, and he knelt in the pitch-black mud, clutching that still-vibrating large black pot while dry-heaving.

Then came Lin Xue. True to her background as an agent, she adjusted her posture mid-air and landed as light as a cat. However, the pile of pots and pans she was carrying crashed together with a loud clatter, making a noise louder than New Year's firecrackers.

Finally, there was Wang Cai. This usually majestic Flame Lion was currently no different from a dead dog, face-planting onto the ground in a spread-eagle position. Its tongue hung out half a foot long, and its eyes were rolling back.

"Tsk, your physical fitness is lacking; you still need to train."

Gu Fan's voice drifted down from mid-air, his words carrying a hint of disdain.

He descended with his hands behind his back, as if stepping on invisible stairs, landing steadily on the cleanest rock without even a hair out of place.

This Thunder Roar Canyon was truly not a place for humans.

The air was filled with the smell of sulfur and scorched odors, making one's throat tighten.

The dark clouds overhead hung exceptionally low, feeling as if one could reach up and pluck a handful of black cotton.

Purple lightning darted frantically through the clouds, the "sizzle-sizzle" of the current making one's scalp tingle.

The surroundings were filled with scorched black rocks. Occasionally, a few "Lightning-Struck Woods" stood there, bare and emitting black smoke.

It really wasn't a place for humans.

"President, the concentration of lightning elements here... is at least fifty times above the limit."

Lin Xue rubbed her temples, her eyes behind her sunglasses scanning the area alertly. "All my electronic devices have failed, and the communicator has no signal. We're blind."

"Being blind is good; it's peaceful."

Gu Fan stretched, not caring at all about the several pairs of glowing green eyes watching from the darkness in the distance.

Rumble!

The heavens seemed displeased by someone acting so calm; a bolt of lightning as thick as a wrist struck down without warning, heading straight for the crown of Gu Fan's head.

"Watch out!"

Xiao Fan ignored his nausea, grabbing his greatsword to rush over and block it.

"Don't move, let me... try out the new mattress."

Gu Fan waved him off and reached into the air.

The golden, eye-blinding "Fully Automatic Law of Karma · Lazy Sofa (Golden Core Limited Edition)" appeared just like that.

Gu Fan leaned back, sinking into the sofa that was as soft as a cloud.

Crack!

The thunder struck the back of the sofa violently.

There was no explosion and no smell of burning.

The violent lightning was like a drop of water falling into a pool, instantly swallowed by that layer of golden skin.

A gentle ripple spread across the sofa's surface, and then the entire sofa began to vibrate slightly.

"Oh... comfortable."

Gu Fan closed his eyes and let out a moan that made Lin Xue want to hit him.

"This intensity and frequency are just right to massage away the motion sickness from the teleportation. It seems the lightning in Thunder Roar Canyon has good craftsmanship; it's professional."

Something even more ridiculous happened.

The lightning didn't disappear after being absorbed; instead, through the sofa's conversion, it propped up a pale golden light shield in a ten-meter radius around Gu Fan.

Lightning arcs were still dancing on the shield.

A few low-level Lightning Rats that didn't know any better tried to rush in for a sneak attack. They hit the light shield, let out a "squeak" of pain, and were sent flying over a dozen meters, twitching and foaming at the mouth.

"Natural lightning protection field, water-free, electricity-free, fully automatic charging."

Gu Fan patted the armrest and opened his eyes to look at the stunned duo and the dog. "What are you standing around for? I've set up the safe zone for you. Get to work!"

Xiao Fan finally snapped out of it. Looking at the light shield that kept the gale and violent thunder outside, the admiration in his eyes was about to overflow.

"President is awesome! This is simply a divine method!!"

He roared, full of energy as he grabbed the huge tent bag. "Watch me! Within five minutes, I'll turn this place into a five-star hotel!"

If other societies saw this, they would likely be so enraged they'd withdraw from the competition on the spot.

What were the other teams doing right now?

They were either looking for caves to hide from the rain or fighting Vicious Beasts for their lives. The more pitiful ones were probably crying for their parents after being struck by lightning.

Who would dare pitch a tent right in the middle of Thunder Roar Canyon?

Even if you had a death wish, this wasn't the way to go about it!

But the Lying Flat Society not only dared, they did it with extreme arrogance.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Xiao Fan was like a human pile driver. Every ground stake carried the force to shatter stone, firmly piercing into the hard rock layer.

"Wind rope angle adjusted... main beam installation complete... air circulation System activated!"

In less than three minutes, a luxurious double-layered tent covering fifty square meters was erected.

The tent was entirely silver-white, made of high-polymer memory Materials, and even had two large floor-to-ceiling windows.

Inside, thick Persian carpets were laid out with folding tables and chairs, and a psionic camping lantern hung from the top, emitting a warm yellow light.

In this pitch-black, oppressive canyon, this tent shone like a lighthouse, its taunting value maxed out.

"The stove is set up."

Over there, Lin Xue had also entered her zone.

She used a few flat lightning-struck stones to build a stove and placed that large black iron pot on it.

With a rub of two fingers, a wisp of spiritual fire ignited the premium smokeless charcoal.

A large block of beef tallow base was tossed into the pot.

Sizzle—

As the temperature rose, the red oil melted, and ginger slices, garlic cloves, Sichuan peppercorns, and dried chilies tumbled in the hot oil.

An incredibly domineering spicy fragrance drifted in all directions along the canyon wind, as if it had grown legs.

The smell was too fragrant.

Unreasonably fragrant.

In the sulfur and rot-filled Thunder Roar Canyon, this fragrance was simply a dimensional strike.

Gurgle gurgle.

The soup base boiled, red waves rolling.

Lin Xue expressionlessly pulled out a cold, gleaming kitchen knife and began working on a piece of Rank Five Savage Beef with a flurry of her wrist.

Swish swish swish!

The meat slices were as thin as paper, flying neatly into the plate and arranged into the shape of a peony flower.

"Meat in!"

At Gu Fan's command, half a plate of meat rolls slid into the pot.

"This place is really not bad."

Gu Fan sat on the sofa, holding a bowl of prepared garlic and sesame oil dip. Looking at the apocalyptic scene of lightning and thunder outside the tent, he picked up a slice of curled, cooked beef.

"Raging storms outside, the fragrance of hotpot inside. This huge sense of contrast—that's what life is about."

He stuffed the meat into his mouth, chewing with satisfaction. "Lin Xue, your knife skills have improved. This meat has its connective tissue cut through; it melts in the mouth. I'll credit you for this."

Lin Xue wiped the oil from her hands. Although she found the scene absurdly ridiculous, her stomach let out a traitorous growl as she smelled the fragrance.

"President, are we... being too flashy?"

She looked worriedly at the pitch-black wilderness outside. "This scent can drift at least five kilometers. The Vicious Beasts are a small matter, but if it attracts other societies..."

"It's good if it attracts them."

Gu Fan swished another piece of tripe in the pot. "I added scraps of 'Karma Boiling Powder' to this soup base. That kind of hunger etched into the genes—anyone who smells it will get dazed."

Just as he spoke.

Behind a pile of jagged rocks on the left side of the canyon.

Several figures wearing tight-fitting wind-walking suits, lying in the mud, were frantically swallowing their saliva.

They were the scout team of the "Extreme Speed Society."

They had originally relied on their speed advantage to scout the way and find a good place for an ambush.

But as they ran, a soul-hooking fragrance almost pulled their souls right out of their bodies.

"Captain... I can't take it..."

One member stared fixedly at the glowing tent in the distance, his eyes turning green. "Is that hotpot? Is that meat? We're gnawing on dry rations, and they're having hotpot?! Is there no law left?!"

The captain, Li Biao, was a tall and thin young man. At this moment, his Adam's apple was also bobbing frantically.

The compressed biscuit in his hand, which was as hard as a rock, suddenly didn't seem appetizing at all.

"Dammit, this is too much!"

The captain gritted his teeth, the fire of jealousy in his eyes brighter than the lightning in the distance. "In the Extreme Speed Society, to reduce weight, we even wear the thinnest underwear. We're so hungry our stomachs are sticking to our backs, and these people are on vacation!"

"Captain, should we do it?!" A member pulled out a dagger, his hand shaking violently—not from fear, but from hunger.

"Do it!"

The captain spat out the grass root in his mouth and growled fiercely, "Rob them of their pot! Seize their tent! Let them know that in Thunder Roar Canyon, speed is king!"

"And by the looks of it, that should be the legendary trash Lying Flat Society. The one sitting on the sofa is Gu Fan—not a single ripple of spiritual power. He's just a pure poser!"

"Brothers, listen to my command! Activate 'Extreme Speed Raid' mode!"

"In three seconds! I want to be sitting in that tent eating meat!"

Whoosh whoosh whoosh!

Five black shadows shot out from behind the rock pile like ghosts, their speed so fast they left afterimages as they headed straight for the glowing tent.

In front of the tent.

Gu Fan's hand suddenly stopped in mid-air, the tripe on his chopsticks still dripping with red oil.

He tilted his head slightly, his lips curling into a smile he had long anticipated.

"Wang Cai, move to the side; don't block the way."

Gu Fan nudged the lion, who was buried in its food, with his toe, and then leisurely called out to Xiao Fan, who was about to put in the second plate of meat:

"Xiao Fan, put the meat down for a moment."

"Our first batch of guests has arrived."

"How does the saying go? When friends come, there is good wine. But what if jackals come?"

Xiao Fan was taken aback. The honest expression on his face vanished instantly, replaced by the fury of someone about to have their food stolen.

He casually picked up the black iron frying pan used for eggs next to him and weighed it in his hand, letting out a dull whistle.

"President, you mean..."

Gu Fan turned around, looking at the several streaks of Killing Intent rapidly approaching in the darkness. He bared a row of white teeth and asked in a grim tone:

"Flatten them into garlic paste and add a little more... flavor to this soup base?"