91: Chapter 91 The Victory of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, An Urban Legend in the Assassin World

6 AM.

The floor of Dormitory 44 was polished to a blinding sheen, so slick a fly would need to do the splits just to land.

Xiao Hei, that man, was wearing a pink Hello Kitty apron. He was squatting in the entryway, holding a vernier caliper, meticulously measuring the spacing between the shoes.

"This left one is off by .3 millimeters."

His brows were knotted into a tight frown. Moving with the caution of someone defusing a bomb, he extended two fingers and ever so carefully nudged the sneaker to the right.

Perfect.

He stood up. Above the mask, his eyes gleamed with the fervor unique to a master craftsman.

This was no dormitory.

It was clearly a sterile ICU ward.

All the books were arranged in order of height, their cover colors forming a natural gradient spectrum. The handles of the mugs on the coffee table were all oriented at a precise 45-degree angle to the southeast. Even Wangcai, sleeping in his bed, had his lion-like fur combed into a slick, gleaming, perfectly parted mane, each strand distinct and obedient.

Wangcai didn't dare move a muscle.

He was afraid that if he so much as rolled over and messed up his hairstyle, this terrifying man would physically send him to the afterlife with the vacuum cleaner on the spot.

"Ahhh—"

Gu Fan drifted out of the bedroom, yawning. The moment his foot touched the ground, he *whooshed* and slid a full two meters.

"I say, Xiao Hei,"

Gu Fan braced himself against the wall, looking down at the wax-like floor, "I truly admire your professionalism, but is it necessary to polish the floor into a mirror? For a second there, I thought I was about to have a wardrobe malfunction."

"President, this is standard procedure,"

Xiao Hei replied without turning his head, a nanofiber cloth in his hand as he performed a tactical lock-on to a single speck of dust floating in the air. "As a former professional, I cannot tolerate any disorder within my line of sight. Dust is the enemy, clutter is an obstacle. Both must be eradicated."

Gu Fan clicked his tongue, fished a cola from the fridge.

"Fine. As long as you don't wake me up, do whatever you want."

Just then, that goof Xiao Fan pushed the door open, humming a tune.

He had just finished his morning run, was covered in sweat, and was carrying his two freshly removed socks in his hand.

The smell...

How to describe it?

It was like stewing a durian in fermented herring, then letting the concoction marinate in a sewer for three years to create a vintage brine.

Before Gu Fan could even pinch his nose, a black shadow had already flashed in front of Xiao Fan.

Xiao Hei's eyes had changed.

It wasn't the look one gives to trash. It was the look reserved for a Class-S biohazard.

A formidable enemy had arrived.

"Halt."

Xiao Hei's voice was cold enough to shed icicles. "What are you holding?"

Startled by this Killing Intent, Xiao Fan trembled, nearly dropping the two indescribable lumps of fabric in his hand. "S-socks. Just finished running, was gonna wash them..."

"Wash? You intend to process this level of high-risk contaminant *indoors*?"

Xiao Hei pulled a heavy-duty hazardous waste bag from his apron pocket—a custom one he'd made for cleaning.

"Put them down. Slowly. Don't shake your hand; you'll spread bacterial spores."

Xiao Hei donned two more layers of rubber gloves. The long-handled metal tongs in his hand snapped open with a *click*, clamping onto the two socks with surgical precision.

The entire sequence was fluid, so professional it was heartbreaking.

"According to Chapter 1, Article 3 of the 'Dormitory 44 Hygiene Management Regulations,' any item potentially causing catastrophic damage to the olfactory System shall be classified as toxic waste and subjected to the highest-level disposal protocol."

Xiao Fan was dumbfounded. "No way... those are my favorite pair, pure cotton..."

"Silence."

Clamping the socks with the tongs, Xiao Hei tapped his toe against the floor, transforming into a blur as he shot towards the balcony.

*Whoosh.*

The two socks traced a graceful parabola through the air, landing with pinpoint accuracy in the garbage incinerator below.

"And another thing."

Xiao Hei turned back, pointing at the floor tile under Xiao Fan's feet. "You entered without changing shoes. You've introduced three grams of soil and countless microorganisms. Don't move from that spot. I'm performing a full-body decontamination on you."

With that, Xiao Hei raised his alcohol spray gun and unleashed a torrent upon Xiao Fan.

"Cough, cough, cough! I'm the Vice President! Have some Face!"

Xiao Fan howled within the dense alcohol mist.

In the corner, Lin Xue was about to duck back under her blanket and play dead.

Too terrifying.

She couldn't stay in this house for one more second.

Yesterday, she had merely left an apple core on the table for three seconds. That man had stared at her for half a minute with the look one gives a corpse, then used tweezers to remove the core and proceeded to scrub that patch of tabletop until it was nearly worn bare.

Where's my communicator?

Lin Xue suddenly remembered. Last night, to evade Xiao Hei's hygiene inspection, she had kicked her backup communicator for contacting the organization under the bed.

It was a spy-grade device, looking like an old black matchbox.

Seizing the moment while Xiao Hei was still tormenting Xiao Fan, she quickly got on the floor and peered under the bed.

Empty.

Not a trace of the communicator. Not even a single spider's thread. It was so clean you could sleep under there.

"Um..." Lin Xue swallowed hard, timidly raising her hand. "Brother Xiao Hei, when you were cleaning under the bed... did you happen to see a small black box? It might look like trash, but actually..."

"Look like trash?"

Xiao Hei turned his head, pausing as he wiped his spray bottle. "If it looks like trash, then it is trash. It was sorted half an hour ago. Should be in the compactor truck by now."

Lin Xue: "..."

It's over.

Completely over.

That communicator contained all her undercover logs for the week, plus a top-secret report assessing Gu Fan's abilities.

If the organization found out she'd thrown away top-secret equipment like garbage...

"You're not off the hook either."

Xiao Hei's gaze shifted to Lin Xue. "As a female, your hair shedding frequency is unacceptably high. Starting today, you must wear a shower cap when entering the living room. Or shave your head. Choose one."

Lin Xue instinctively touched her beautiful hair, tears nearly welling up.

Was this karma?

Being an undercover agent to this extent, only to be bullied by a janitor?

Meanwhile.

In the underground black market of Tianqiong City.

A few small-time thugs who had just fled back from outside were huddled in a tavern, bragging with Faces full of lingering fear.

"Heard the news? Chain Abyss has been laying low lately."

"No kidding. Can you blame them? Word is, Gu Fan's dorm is harboring a freak."

"I heard it too! My buddy was on lookout nearby. Saw it with his own eyes—Chain Abyss's top-tier scout drone, just as it got close to the window, got skewered and blown up by a toilet brush covered in... you know!"

"A toilet brush?!"

"Swear it's true! The brush even had that blue toilet cleaner glow! One-hit kill! They say it's some lost, wicked martial art called the 'Shit-Stirring Staff Technique,' specifically counters high-tech stuff!"

"Too terrifying... Is this the legendary 'Greatness hidden in plain sight'? Even their janitor is this fierce. How strong must Gu Fan himself be?"

Rumors were flying everywhere outside.

Inside Dormitory 44, a piercing alarm suddenly blared.

*Woo—Woo—*

The highest-level assembly call, so loud it rattled the mugs Xiao Hei had just meticulously arranged.

A rough, gravelly voice, as if its owner had just swallowed hot coals, boomed from the speakers, every word explosive:

"ALL HANDS, ASSEMBLE!! All freshmen! Now! Immediately! Get your asses to the field!!"

"You have three minutes! Anyone a second late, I'll break their legs and reattach them to their necks!!"

The voice radiated an unreasonable, manic aggression.

Gu Fan frowned, crushing the cola can in his hand.

"So noisy."

He sighed, shrinking further into the sofa. "This sounds like the kind of activity that involves sweating. Can't we just call in sick? Say I had too many blankets last night and caught a summer cold?"