46: Club recruitment? We only recruit mascots.

The next day, at the central square of Tianqiong War God Academy, voices were buzzing and colorful flags fluttered.

The annual "Hundred Clubs Battle"—the club recruitment day—was in full swing.

This was an important channel for freshmen to integrate into the academy's circles and obtain extra resources.

To snatch up people, the major clubs were all showing off their best tricks, like the Eight Immortals crossing the sea.

"Martial Arts Club recruiting! Join and get a free copy of 'Essentials for Tough Guys: How to Build an Eight-Pack'! The president will personally guide you, guaranteed to learn!"

"Supernatural Power Research Society! This is a paradise for mages! As long as your Mental Energy is strong enough, senior sisters will take you under their wings!"

"Artifact Refining Pavilion! Want to personally forge divine Sharp Weapons? Want to experience the romance of blacksmithing? Come on, that's a man's ultimate romance!"

Even the "Spirit Chef Club," which only studied how to cook better food, had set out rows of fragrant spiritual food, attracting a large group of foodies.

However, in this heated atmosphere, under a crooked tree in the farthest corner of the square, the vibe seemed completely out of place.

There were no banners, no posters, no loudspeakers here.

Only a worn-out straw mat, a youth lying on it basking in the sun, and a young man sitting on a small stool peeling an orange with a face full of despair.

Beside the straw mat stood a wooden sign that had almost caused a bloodbath the day before:

【Lying Flat Mutual Aid Society】

【Core Tenet: If you can lie down, never sit; if you can sit, never stand.】

【Membership Benefits: One-on-one dream guidance from the president (may cause lethargy), free viewing of the president's performance art (though it's passive).】

【Recruitment Requirement: Being alive.】

Xiao Fan handed the peeled orange to Gu Fan, who had his eyes closed, and sighed, "President, we've been set up here for two hours. Aside from two stray dogs passing by and peeing on your shoes, there hasn't even been a ghost of a person."

"What's the rush?"

Gu Fan took the orange without even opening his eyes and said indistinctly, "Like Jiang Taigong fishing, the willing will take the bait. Those vulgar clubs only know how to exploit the freshmen's labor; only we are the harbor for the Soul, the last piece of pure land in this world of involution."

"But..." Xiao Fan pointed to the side, "that old man selling roasted sweet potatoes has already recruited two apprentices."

Gu Fan: "..."

Just then, a commotion came from the entrance of the square.

The crowd parted automatically, revealing a path.

Lin Xue appeared, wearing a specially shortened high school girl's uniform skirt, her slender legs wrapped in white stockings, walking over with light steps.

After a night of recovery, she seemed to have recovered from yesterday's "Trash can incident," once again displaying that "green tea" charm that appealed to both men and women.

With a sweet smile on her face and a cup of milk tea in her hand, she walked straight toward Gu Fan's stall.

"Senior Gu, Senior Xiao, good morning."

Lin Xue's voice was soft and sweet, making one's heart itch.

The boys queuing up for other clubs nearby instantly stared wide-eyed.

"Holy crap! Goddess Lin Xue!"

"What is she doing at that Trash club? Has she been hexed?"

"It's over, my goddess is going to deliver herself to them again."

Seeing Lin Xue, Xiao Fan subconsciously shrank back.

The sensation of pulling her out of the Trash can yesterday was still fresh in his memory; this woman felt like a rose with thorns, the highly poisonous kind.

Gu Fan finally opened his eyes, looked Lin Xue up and down, smiled, and had a playful look in his eyes.

[Ding! Detected 'Lin Xue's' latent malice of enduring humiliation for a greater purpose and plotting ill intent.]

[Malice Rank: A-Rank (For the sake of the mission, she is even willing to sacrifice her beauty).]

"Oh, isn't this the head-first-dive champion, Student Lin?" Gu Fan sat up and stretched. "What? Didn't play enough yesterday? Do you want to try stuffing yourself into the sewer today?"

The smile on Lin Xue's face stiffened for a moment, and her fists clenched tightly behind her back.

Endure it! Lin Xue, you are a professional! For that heart, for the glory of Eden, what does this bit of humiliation matter!

She took a deep breath and forced out a pitiful expression: "Senior is really good at joking. I truly feel that the philosophy of the 'Lying Flat Society' is very profound and want to join you to explore the true meaning of life together."

"Explore life?"

Gu Fan raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I don't explore life with people who can't even figure out Trash sorting. Turn left at the exit for the Mental Disability Recovery Center Club; that's more suitable for you."

"Pfft—" Xiao Fan, who was beside him, couldn't help it and spat out the water he had just sipped.

Lin Xue felt her blood pressure soaring at a speed of 180 miles per hour.

"Senior~ give me a chance." Lin Xue decided to use her ultimate move. She stepped forward, squatted by Gu Fan's straw mat, and gently shook his sleeve with both hands. "I can do anything. Laundry, cooking, serving tea, singing, dancing... I'm begging you."

This "I'm begging you" was sweet enough to make ten diabetic patients die on the spot.

Some of the onlookers nearby had already started having nosebleeds.

"You can do anything?" Gu Fan pulled his sleeve away and patted it with disgust. "Don't talk big. Although our club has a low threshold, it still has core technical requirements."

"What requirements? I can learn!" Lin Xue's eyes lit up. As long as she could get in, there would be plenty of opportunities to strike later.

Gu Fan stroked his chin and pondered for a moment.

"Can you smash a large stone on your chest?"

Lin Xue: "???"

"No? Then can you eat noodles while doing a one-handed handstand?"

Lin Xue: "..."

"Not that either? You can't do this or that, what use do I have for you?" Gu Fan shook his head with a disappointed face. "Fine, seeing as you look decent enough, I'll give you the simplest test. Can you eat melon seeds without spitting out the shells? You know, the kind where you eat the seed and spit out the whole kernel while the shell stays in your mouth."

The entire place suddenly fell silent.

Everyone looked at Gu Fan as if he were a lunatic.

Is this an interview question a carbon-based lifeform could come up with?

Lin Xue's mouth twitched: "Senior... are you serious?"

"Of course. This is a test of tongue flexibility, which is very important for us to Cultivate vocal techniques... oh no, Word Spirit Technique in dreams." Gu Fan talked nonsense with a straight face.

Lin Xue took a deep breath. She felt that if she had a knife in her hand right now, she would definitely stab this bastard without hesitation.

"That... although I can't do that with melon seeds, my knife skills are very good!"

To prove herself, Lin Xue suddenly pulled out... a dagger from under her skirt.

It was Eden's specially made "High-frequency Vibrating Particle Dagger," which cuts through iron like mud and kills without leaving a trace of blood.

The people around were startled. How did the vibe suddenly turn into a murder scene?

Lin Xue flipped her wrist, grabbed an apple from the fruit plate nearby, and the dagger danced between her fingertips, turning into a flash of silver light.

"Swish swish swish—"

A few seconds later.

The apple peel fell in a long, continuous line, and the entire apple was cut into a perfect, blooming peony shape, with the fruit slices thin and transparent.

"Senior, please have an apple."

Lin Xue held the "apple flower" in front of Gu Fan, a hint of defiance in her eyes. "Is this talent enough?"

She was showing off her power. She was telling Gu Fan that since this knife could cut an apple into a flower, it could also cut his head into a watermelon.

Gu Fan looked at the apple flower without showing any surprise.

He reached out with two fingers, pinched a slice of fruit, and put it in his mouth.

"Hmm, this apple is a bit sour."

Gu Fan commented, "The knife skills are so-so, barely enough to sharpen a pencil. But seeing how hard you're trying to be my nanny..."

He pulled a crumpled form from his robe and threw it to Lin Xue.

"Fill it out. Three-month probation period, unpaid internship. The position is... Club Mascot and Chief Janitor."

"Also, remember to carry a Trash bag with you from now on. Don't go jumping into Trash cans again; save the cleaning ladies some trouble."

Lin Xue held the form, her hands shaking.

Janitor?

She was a top agent of Eden, code-named "Succubus," who had killed countless people and whose pursuers could line up from Tianqiong City to the lunar base. Now she had actually fallen to being a janitor for a piece of Trash?

"Okay... thank you, President."

Lin Xue gritted her teeth and signed her name on the form, her pen strokes so forceful they seemed ready to carve into the paper.

"Welcome aboard."

Gu Fan snapped his fingers. "Since you've joined, don't just stand around. Xiao Fan, bring out those dirty clothes we piled up yesterday and let Student Lin practice. Remember, they must be hand-washed; this is a tempering of her Heart-Nature."

Xiao Fan looked at the pile of training uniforms smelling of sweat, then at Lin Xue, who was dressed in designer brands and was as exquisite as a porcelain doll, and swallowed hard.

"President... isn't this a bit too much bullying?"

"This is called a corporate culture assessment." Gu Fan lay back down on the straw mat and closed his eyes. "If you can't bear it, you can wash them for her. But if you do, your Vice President position will have to be given to her."

"Then let her wash them." Xiao Fan decisively sold out his teammate.

At this moment, countless eyes in the club square were fixed on this scene.

Seeing the normally unattainable goddess Lin Xue actually roll up her sleeves and squat next to that crappy club to start washing clothes, everyone's worldviews shattered.

"Gu Fan... what kind of magic does this kid have?"

"This is simply a pick-up artist! I'm willing to call him the Ancestral Master!"

In the shadows not far away, Zhao Zhengyi pushed up his newly fitted glasses on the bridge of his nose, looking at Gu Fan with a venomous gaze.

"Hmph, let him be smug for a while. When the Freshman Grand Competition comes tomorrow... I'll make him cry so hard he won't be able to stop."

Gu Fan lay on the straw mat, listening to the System's constant prompts of "malice points +100" and "malice points +200" in his mind, and hummed a little tune contentedly.

"This is the life. Someone to wash clothes, someone to send malice. I wouldn't trade this for the life of an immortal."

While scrubbing that pair of pants with holes, Lin Xue swore in her heart:

"Gu Fan, you just wait. Every stain on these clothes will be washed with your blood in the future!"

Suddenly, she felt something hard in her hand.

She was delighted. Could it be some secret token of Gu Fan's?

She quietly pulled it out to look.

It was a piece of dried, hard chewing gum stuck in the pocket.

Lin Xue: "..."

She almost smashed the basin.

Gu Fan, I'm going to kill you!!!

[Ding! Detected 'Lin Xue's' killing intent soaring to the breaking point.]

[malice points +600!]

Gu Fan rolled over, his smile deepening.

"Don't be in a hurry; the game has only just begun."