70: Chapter 70 Are you impotent?

Cao Kun and Li Guanlin slept until well past eleven in the morning, finally awakened by the glaring sunlight through the window and the clamor of the city.

Groggy-headed, the two of them got up and went through a simple morning routine.

They went downstairs and found a well-established stewed noodle restaurant nearby, using piping hot, fragrant lamb stewed noodles and ice-cold soda to barely suppress the discomfort of their hangovers.

After the meal, they hailed a taxi to retrieve Cao Kun's car from where they had dined the previous night.

Returning to the hotel, they planned to head upstairs for a nap to make up for sleep, considering the significant exertion from the night before.

Just as they stepped into the hotel's opulent lobby, Cao Kun heard a voice that was both familiar and irritating.

"Well, well! If it isn't the Sleeping Dragon and Young Phoenix of our class! What brings you two here?"

Cao Kun frowned and looked towards the source of the voice.

There, on a sofa in the lobby's lounge area, a flashily dressed man wearing gold-rimmed glasses sat with a petite woman in his arms, looking at them with a mocking expression.

It was none other than their high school classmate, Li Huairén.

Li Huairén's family ran a small business. Even back in school, he liked to show off because he had some pocket money, especially enjoying putting down classmates like Cao Kun and Li Guanlin who came from ordinary backgrounds.

At last year's class reunion, he had heard that Cao Kun was just scraping by as a salesman in Zhongzhou, and Li Guanlin had a low-paying public service job in a county town.

He had taken the opportunity to belittle both of them in front of all their classmates, making them seem utterly worthless.

Cao Kun had been holding onto that grievance ever since.

Talk about enemies crossing paths.

At that moment, Cao Kun found his attention drawn to the woman beside Li Huairén.

She wore a black tight-fitting miniskirt that barely covered her rear, a low-cut camisole top, and a sheer jacket over it. Her figure was hot, her makeup flawless, with a hint of exotic allure.

She was now looking at Cao Kun and Li Guanlin with a gaze that held both curiosity and a touch of condescension.

Seeing that Cao Kun didn't immediately retort, Li Huairén grew even more smug. He deliberately tightened his arm around the woman and boasted, "Let me introduce you. This is my new girlfriend, Baishi Jasmine, from Japan! Beautiful, right? Must be pretty jealous, huh?"

He leaned in closer, lowering his voice but ensuring Cao Kun and Li Guanlin could hear clearly, "Guys like you probably struggle to find even a normal, decent-looking girlfriend, let alone a foreign one, right?"

"Tsk tsk, just look at your shabby selves..."

Cao Kun ignored Li Huairén's noise. His gaze remained fixed on Baishi Jasmine.

The girl was indeed beautiful, with a typical Japanese sweet look—large eyes, a small round face, and fair, delicate skin.

Her figure was even more impressive; the curves outlined by the tight dress were breathtaking, and her legs were long and straight.

However, although a smile was plastered on her face, a faint trace of weariness and impatience lurked in her eyes. Especially when Li Huairén held her and bragged extravagantly, that impatience seemed on the verge of spilling over.

[Ding! System Mission Issued: Li Huairén is completely unable to satisfy Baishi Jasmine. She is very dissatisfied with Li Huairén and, by extension, somewhat disappointed with Chinese men in general. Host, please satisfy Baishi Jasmine. Let her know that Chinese men are all awesome; it's just Li Huairén who's the weakling.]

[Mission Reward: Two hundred thousand in cash.]

The system's notification first stunned Cao Kun, then nearly made him laugh out loud.

So that was it!

No wonder Baishi Jasmine's expression seemed off. She was dissatisfied with Li Huairén, this 'silver spearhead that's actually wax'—all show and no substance!

He had just been thinking about how to deal with Li Huairén.

Perfect. Old grudges, new grievances, plus the system mission—they could all be settled together.

A wide smile suddenly spread across Cao Kun's face. He stepped forward a couple of paces and patted Li Huairén's shoulder. "Brother Huairén, congratulations! Finding such a beautiful Japanese girlfriend really brings honor to us Chinese men!"

Li Huairén was taken aback by Cao Kun's sudden enthusiasm. Before he could even feel smug, Cao Kun's tone shifted, becoming earnest and serious:

"However, buddy, for the sake of our old classmates, I have a few suggestions for you. You must keep them in mind."

Then, without waiting for Li Huairén's reaction, Cao Kun started rattling them off like beans pouring from a bamboo tube.

"First, never let friends or colleagues come to your home."

"Second, don't casually invite your boss over for a meal."

"Third, don't let her order takeout or take out the trash alone at home."

"Fourth, don't let neighbors enter your home casually."

"Fifth, if you have a younger brother, don't leave her home alone with him."

"Sixth, if your father is old, have him move back to the countryside."

"Seventh, try to avoid frequent business trips."

"Eighth, don't let your son bring male classmates home as guests."

"Ninth, don't casually take her out drinking with friends."

"Tenth, fix things that break at home yourself; don't hire repairmen."

"Eleventh, don't let her ride buses, Subways, trams, elevators, etc., alone."

"Twelfth, don't let her work in professions like Nurse, teacher, or secretary."

"Thirteenth, when shopping, getting beauty treatments, massages, or going to the hospital, you must accompany her."

"Fourteenth, never owe money to anyone."

"Fifteenth, never, under any circumstances, get dead drunk."

"Sixteenth, remember to lock your bedroom door at night."

"Seventeenth, never tell her about any difficulties you encounter."

"Eighteenth, it's best not to let her leave your sight, especially when another man is present."

"Nineteenth, when going out with her, never go to the restroom."

"Twentieth, always be wary of students, security guards, male cleaners, bosses, workers, fat guys, fitness trainers, punks, beggars/homeless people, doctors, policemen, male masseurs, old men, and Melon King."

Cao Kun finished the whole list in one breath, his expression unchanged and his heart rate steady. Beside him, Li Guanlin listened, dumbfounded, wanting to laugh but not daring to, his face turning red from the effort.

At first, Li Huairén looked utterly confused, not understanding the meaning behind Cao Kun's seemingly random barrage of advice.

But he quickly caught on.

Weren't these all just internet memes poking fun at the common tropes found in Japanese adult videos?

Cao Kun was indirectly insulting him, cursing him to be cuckolded!

"Cao Kun! What the hell do you mean by that?"

Li Huairén's face flushed red with anger. He shoved Cao Kun's hand away. "You're just jealous I found a Japanese girlfriend, so you're throwing a useless, impotent tantrum here, right?"

"Spouting this bullshit—that's all you're capable of!"

"Ha ha ha!"

This time, Cao Kun genuinely laughed out loud. His laughter rang clearly in the lobby, causing the front desk staff to glance over.

"Me, throwing an impotent tantrum?"

Cao Kun stopped laughing, looking at Li Huairén with a mocking gaze.

"I wonder who's *really* throwing the impotent tantrum here? It's true you've got a Japanese girlfriend, but you..."

He deliberately drew out his words, his eyes sweeping over Baishi Jasmine, whose expression had subtly changed, before settling on Li Huairén's livid face. He enunciated each word clearly:

"...you simply can't satisfy her, leading her to be utterly disappointed in you!"

"Am I right, Li Huairén? Won't you admit that you're just not up to it?"