101: Chapter 101 Only Radio Gymnastics Can Save the World
Heavenly River Sword Sect... Oh no, now it should be called "Tianhe Academy of Advanced Cultivation Technology."
As the first ray of morning sunlight pierced the clouds, a loud, rhythmic, and incredibly hypnotic piece of music blasted through the Evil Eye Tyrants (biological broadcasts) spread across the mountains:
"Now starting—The Eighth Set of Cultivation Body-Strengthening Broadcast Gymnastics!"
"First exercise: Stretching Exercise! Ready—Begin!"
"One, two, three, four, two, two, three, four..."
On the plaza, three thousand freshmen wearing blue and white sports uniforms (actually defensive Magic Treasure robes), led by the Chief Instructor Butcher Xiao, waved their arms in perfect unison. The scene was extremely spectacular, and also extremely bizarre.
"Make your movements big! Increase the range!" Butcher Xiao roared while doing chest expansion exercises, his muscles threatening to burst through his uniform. "Feel the rhythm of the earth! Channel your Spiritual Qi through the soles of your feet and stomp it hard into the ground!"
"Roar!" The three thousand freshmen shouted in unison, their synchronized stomping causing the ground to tremble slightly.
To outsiders, this was pure madness. Dignified Cultivators, not meditating or practicing sword arts, but jumping around like monkeys here?
But only Li Mo in the Scripture Pavilion knew that this wasn't just doing gymnastics; it was... giving a massage.
On the second floor of the Scripture Pavilion, in the Office of Corpse Beauty and Palliative Care.
Li Mo, wearing a stethoscope (modified from a Magic Treasure), pressed it against the floor with a solemn expression.
Through his Eye of Truth, the ground beneath his feet was no longer rock and soil, but a piece of gray, twitching muscle tissue.
The commotion from yesterday's opening ceremony had been too great, causing this sleeping "Ancient God" to have a bit of morning grumpiness—commonly known as an earthquake. If he didn't appease it quickly, and it decided to turn over, the entire Southern Wilderness Cultivation World would be flung into outer space.
"No good, the frequency is still wrong." Li Mo frowned as he listened to the muffled thuds from beneath the earth. "Butcher Xiao and his group are being too heavy-handed. This is a massage, not pile driving!"
He quickly pulled the microphone in front of him (connected to the school-wide broadcast) and said in a deep voice: "Attention, school. Slow down the rhythm. Switching tracks now. Change to 'Lullaby' mode. Change the movement to: Tai Chi Push Hands. You need to channel your strength gently. Imagine you are petting... uh, petting a grumpy cat."
On the plaza, the style shifted abruptly. The once impassioned march instantly turned into a soothing lullaby.
Although Butcher Xiao was confused, as the Head of the Civil Engineering Department, he was the most sensitive to the earth. He immediately restrained his fierce Evil Qi, drew circles with his hands, and his movements became as gentle as a centenarian grandmother. "Follow me! Draw a watermelon, slice it down the middle..."
As the movements of the three thousand people became softer, a strange resonant wave slowly seeped into the ground. Li Mo pressed the stethoscope to the floor again. This time, the heart-palpitating twitching finally calmed down slowly. A low-frequency vibration similar to "purring" came from deep underground, and then... it went completely silent.
[System Notification: Environmental noise has been reduced.]
[Host (World Entity) has entered deep sleep.]
[Crisis averted.]
[Reward obtained: Ancient God's Favor +1 (Although it doesn't know who you are, it felt that the scratch just now was very comfortable).]
"Phew..." Li Mo collapsed into his chair and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. "Being an Administrator is tough; not only do I have to guard against hackers (Abyss), but I also have to act as a masseur."
Just then, the office door was knocked on. Senior Brother Lei Wanjun (current Head of the Physics Department) walked in, looking excited, holding a thick report.
"Dean! A major discovery!" Lei Wanjun slapped the report on the table, his glasses reflecting light. "Just now, when everyone was doing 'Tai Chi Push Hands,' I monitored a strange wave-particle duality collapse in the geomagnetic field!"
"I suspect that this specific sequence of movements can trigger the 'Grand Unified Force' of heaven and earth!"
"I suggest we make this set of gymnastics a compulsory course. Let's call it... 'Tianhe Gravitational Wave Broadcast Fist'!"
Li Mo: "..."
He looked at Lei Wanjun's face, which was written with "thirst for knowledge," and really couldn't bear to tell him the truth (that it was just scratching an itch for an Ancient God).
"Ahem, approved." Li Mo signed off with a flourish. "Since you discovered it, you write the textbook. Remember, the core principle is only one word: Stability. If anyone cracks the ground, I'll deduct their credits."
"Yes!" Lei Wanjun was overjoyed and ran out clutching the report.
After sending Lei Wanjun away, Li Mo hadn't even had a chance to drink water before the System panel suddenly popped up a new red exclamation mark. Unlike the previous Abyss invasion, this warning came from... within the Cultivation World.
[Warning: Hostile "High-Level Scouting" signal detected.]
[Source: Central Plains, Wanfa Immortal Sect.]
[Identity: Inspection Mission.]
[Purpose: Crackdown on fakes.]
"Crackdown on fakes?" Li Mo raised an eyebrow.
As Tianhe Academy's reputation grew, especially after the Emperor of Great Zhou dubbed it the "Number One Holy Land in the World," those established Holy Lands could no longer sit still.
The Central Plains was the core region of the Cultivation World, the place with the richest Spiritual Qi, and the gathering place of the so-called "orthodox." In their eyes, a "Holy Land" from a backwater like the Southern Wilderness was definitely a crooked path, or perhaps even disguised demonic Cultivators.
At this moment, outside the mountain gate. A magnificent, giant flying ship hanging the "Wanfa" banner was breaking through the clouds, slowly descending.
On the flying ship stood a young male and female Cultivator, both at the Late Stage of the Golden Core, looking arrogant with undisguised scrutiny in their eyes. Behind them sat an old man with his eyes closed, his aura unfathomable (Middle Stage of the Nascent Soul).
"Senior Brother, is this the 'Tianhe Academy' that has been bragged about so miraculously?" The female Cultivator looked down, a sneer curling her lips. "The architectural style is tacky, and there's a big lightbulb (Evil Eye Tyrant) hanging at the entrance. It's simply unrefined."
"Hmph, just grandstanding." The male Cultivator sneered. "And 'Advanced Technology'? Cultivation is about longevity and the Dao. Engaging in these petty tricks must mean their intentions are impure."
"Let's go expose their tricks in a moment and let the world see what a true orthodox Immortal Sect is."
The flying ship landed. No one came to greet them. Because it was "recess gymnastics" time, all the teachers and students were on the plaza... playing jump rope (a relaxation exercise newly developed by Li Mo).
"One, two, three, Malan flowers bloom twenty-one..." Butcher Xiao was leading a group of burly men, nimbly weaving between two giant Spiritual Qi jump ropes.
The envoys from the Wanfa Immortal Sect had just stepped off the flying ship when they were completely dumbfounded by this eye-searing sight.
"This... what kind of Formation is this?" The female Cultivator's eyes widened. "The footwork is so bizarre, seemingly chaotic, but in fact... in fact..." She struggled for a long time but couldn't make anything up. This was just too embarrassing!
"How outrageous!" The old man at the Nascent Soul Stage finally opened his eyes and roared, "What kind of conduct is this! Where is this a cultivation Holy Land? It's clearly an insane asylum!"
"Tell your person in charge to get out here and see me!"
This roar, mixed with the pressure of the Nascent Soul Stage, instantly swept across the entire plaza. Butcher Xiao's movements paused, and he almost tripped himself. The students on the plaza were also shaken, swaying unsteadily.
On the second floor of the Scripture Pavilion, Li Mo put down his teacup. "Sigh, I just lulled the one underground to sleep, and now the ones in the sky are making noise."
"Why is it so hard to be a quiet Administrator these days?"
He glanced at the old man, then at the new function unlocked by the System—[Map Editor (Elementary)]. Since they wanted to crack down on fakes, he would show them what "indistinguishable from the real thing" meant.
Li Mo picked up his pen, drew a circle on the Map Editor around the Wanfa Immortal Sect's flying ship and the ground beneath the three envoys.
[Command: Terrain Displacement.]
[Target Area: Wanfa Immortal Sect flying ship docking point.]
[Replace with: Swamp (with 'Gravity Reversal' tag).]
Outside the mountain gate, the old man was still putting on airs, waiting for the people of the Heavenly River Sword Sect to kneel and welcome him. Suddenly, he felt his feet soften. The solid bluestone floor instantly turned into a bubbling mud pit. Moreover, the suction of this mud pit wasn't downward; it was upward!
"What the hell is this?!" The old man exclaimed, wanting to fly up. But to his horror, he found that the gravity here was reversed! The more he tried to fly up, the deeper his body sank!
"Revered Master! Save me!" The two disciples were even worse off, diving headfirst into the mud with a "plop," leaving only their legs kicking in the air, like two inverted green onions.
"Is this the greeting gift from the Wanfa Immortal Sect?" Li Mo's voice came over the broadcast, filled with amusement, echoing across the plaza. "Inverted rice planting? Isn't this courtesy... a bit too grand?"
On the plaza, Butcher Xiao and the three thousand students were stunned for a second, then erupted into earth-shattering laughter. "Hahaha! These are the big shots from the Central Plains?"
"This Move is amazing! I want to learn it too!"
In the mud pit, the old man was so angry his beard was crooked. He exploded with Spiritual Qi, wanting to blast this mud pit apart. But the moment he channeled his energy, that familiar, cold mechanical voice rang in his ears:
[Warning! Fighting behavior detected on campus.]
[According to Article 3 of the "Tianhe Academy School Rules": Damaging public property (ground), compensation is required at cost.]
[Current fine: 30,000 Spirit Stones. Please scan to pay, otherwise... mute.]
Just as the old man was about to curse, his mouth was sealed shut by a strip of paper that appeared out of thin air. On it were two large characters: [Overdue].
Li Mo stood by the window, watching this ridiculous scene, and adjusted his glasses.
"Welcome to Tianhe Academy."
"Here, there is only one law that is universal."
"And that is my—algorithm."