73: Chapter 73 High-altitude littering in the Immortal Realm and the Establishment of the Tianhe Property Management Committee
Heavenly River Sword Sect, the second day after its successful "affiliation."
The current Sect was like a "Sky City" floating above the Nine Heavens, tightly pressed against the Heavenly Gate (Beelzebub's butt).
A sea of clouds surged and rolled beneath their feet, while billions of stars rotated silently overhead.
The air was filled with traces of refreshing Immortal Qi leaking from that tiny crack in the Heavenly Gate.
Of course, it was also mixed with... a faint industrial smell of cement and roasted meat.
"The environment is quite nice."
Li Mo stood on the balcony of the top floor of the Scripture Pavilion, overlooking this magnificent sea of clouds that only Immortals and gods could set foot in, feeling quite pleasant.
"This is where a cultivator should live."
He leisurely picked up a pot of freshly brewed spiritual tea.
"Those on the ground are all the 'Ant Tribe'."
However, this comfort didn't last long.
Drip-drop.
A wet, sticky droplet fell from the almost invisible crack in the Heavenly Gate above, as if after precise ballistic calculation.
Without tilting or leaning, it landed right in Li Mo's teacup.
A ripple of golden tea splashed up, warm and smearing all over Li Mo's face.
Li Mo: "..."
The smile on his face didn't change; he just slowly stopped the motion of bringing the cup to his lips.
He extended two fingers and pinched out the foreign object that had fallen into his teacup.
It was a... peach pit, gnawed clean.
A few strands of crystal-clear saliva still hung from it, emitting a thick, intoxicatingly sweet fragrance.
"Oh! My heavens! What a treasure!"
Beside him, Director Haotian, who was organizing documents with Immortal scrolls, almost had his eyes pop out and instinctively reached out to grab it.
"This is a pit from a 'Nine Heavens Peaches of Immortality'! It contains a complete strand of Innate Wood Qi! If planted, in less than a thousand years, it will be a new Heaven And Earth Spiritual Root!"
His voice trembled; it was the instinctive desire of a former Immortal Emperor for top-tier Heaven And Earth Treasures.
Drip-drop.
Another thing fell down.
This time it was a crumpled ball of discarded talisman paper, clearly used to wipe something.
Then, it was as if the garbage chute in the heavens had been poked open.
Banana peels (Immortal fruit skins), tattered straw shoes (remnants of Cloud-Stepping Boots), a broken whisk, and various colorful, unrecognizable Medicinal Pill dross...
That tiny crack above the Heavenly Gate now acted like a funnel.
Countless "Immortal Realm garbage" rained down, clattering onto the brand-new plaza of the Heavenly River Sword Sect.
From above the Heavenly Gate, the unrestrained laughter and curses of Immortals could be faintly heard.
"Hahaha! Let these ants from the Lower Realm taste the 'Sweet Dew' of the Immortal Realm!"
"If you can't afford a house in the Immortal Realm, don't try to have a floating Sect like us! You're dirtying the facade of the Immortal Realm; who are you trying to disgust?"
"Come, come, Immortal Lord Wang, pour down the dross from that batch of 'nine-revolution golden core' you failed to refine yesterday to give them some nourishment!"
Clearly, those high-and-mighty powers of the Immortal Realm could do nothing about that indestructible "cement butt," but that didn't stop them from using this highly insulting method to assert their sovereignty and dissatisfaction.
Littering from high altitude.
Li Mo expressionlessly wiped the tea stains from his face with a handkerchief, his gaze sweeping over the "Immortal Realm garbage" scattered all over the ground, which would be enough to trigger bloodbaths in the Lower Realm.
He suddenly smiled.
"Although this trash is indeed quite valuable."
He casually tossed the peach pit, which Haotian treated as a precious treasure, over like he was throwing a common pebble.
"But this attitude..."
"I really don't like it."
"Director Hao."
"Present!"
Director Haotian shuddered, caught the peach pit with both hands, and instantly stood at attention. His posture was even more respectful than when he faced the Heavenly Dao in the past.
"According to Article 1254 of the Civil Code, throwing objects from buildings is prohibited."
Li Mo's voice was light, but it carried an unquestionable authority.
"Since we are now their 'downstairs neighbors,' we should reasonably exercise our rights."
"Pass down my order."
The Heavenly River Sword Sect will immediately establish—the [Tianhe Property Management and Homeowner Rights Protection Committee]."
"You will serve as the committee director."
"Now, go and issue our new neighbors upstairs... a sternly worded 'Notice of Rectification for Illegal Construction'."
...
Fifteen minutes later.
The tianhe vessel rose silently into the air, hovering in the void less than thirty feet away from the giant cement patch on the Heavenly Gate.
Director Haotian had changed into a sharp black suit conjured by Immortal arts, with a glittering gold ID badge hanging around his neck that read "Property Manager: Haotian" in flamboyant script.
In his hand, he held that iconic large golden megaphone.
Behind him, Lei Wanjun led a squad of burly, ferocious-looking "security guards" (remodeled Abyss Ogres), as well as... twelve solemn, ready-to-go "sanitation workers" (former Immortal Realm Scavengers).
"Ahem!"
Director Haotian cleared his throat, injected his lifelong cultivation into his Dantian, and activated the "Emperor-level Trash Talker" mode he had honed during his days debating the masses at the Immortal Court.
"Those upstairs! Listen up to this manager!"
"I am your newly appointed property manager, Manager Hao!"
"Your act of littering just now has seriously violated the 'Three Realms Real Estate and Adjacency Rights Protection Regulations' and the 'Immortal Realm Civilized City Health Management Measures'!"
"Now, this Property Management Committee formally issues you the first Rectification Notice!"
"First! Immediately cease all high-altitude littering!"
"Second! Given that your actions have caused serious environmental pollution and mental distress to this Sect, you are now required to pay cleaning fees, facility depreciation fees, mental damage compensation, and illegal bulk waste disposal fees..."
He paused, his voice suddenly rising an octave.
"Total: One hundred thousand Top-grade Immortal Crystals! Or, five hundred Immortal Artifacts of equivalent value!"
"You have half an hour to pay in full! Otherwise... this property management will take enforcement measures!"
Above the Heavenly Gate, there was a moment of dead silence.
Then, thunderous laughter erupted.
"Property management? What the hell is that? Ants from the Lower Realm think they can manage us?"
"Charging fees? Hahaha! Did this Immortal Lord hear that right? That was garbage we gifted you! You should be glad to pick it up and eat it!"
"Scram! If you dare to make any more noise, believe it or not, this Immortal Lord will take a piss right now and give you a 'Sweet Dew' baptism!"
Splash—
Just as the words fell, a basin of what was clearly foot-washing water, yet still swirling with Immortal Qi, was poured down over their heads.
Lei Wanjun, who was well-prepared, roared and opened a giant umbrella remodeled from ancient god scales, blocking all the attacks.
"Director Hao, these Immortals... their damn manners are too poor! They won't cooperate at all!" Lei Wanjun wiped a droplet of water from his face and said in a muffled voice.
"Won't cooperate?"
Director Haotian let out a cold sneer. He turned and looked inquiringly at the calm Li Mo on the vessel.
Li Mo was wearing noise-canceling earmuffs, as if the external clamor had nothing to do with him. He was flipping through a thread-bound ancient book, the cover of which read "Application of Acoustic Weapons in Hyperdimensional Space."
He didn't speak, but just gave Haotian an "OK" gesture.
Then, he closed the book and spoke calmly, his voice transmitted directly into the minds of Haotian and Lei Wanjun via Divine Thought:
"Since polite communication is ineffective."
"Then don't blame us... for starting some renovations."
Haotian understood immediately.
"Sanitation Brigade! Execute Plan B!"
"Yes!"
Twelve former Immortal Realm Scavengers stepped forward in unison.
They didn't have brooms in their hands. Instead, each carried a huge... giant speaker driven by Ancient God Crude Oil, with complex array patterns engraved on the shell.
"Stick the speakers onto Beelzebub's butt," Li Mo's Divine Thought rang out again.
"Huh? Why?" Lei Wanjun was completely bewildered.
"Sound waves have different transmission efficiencies in different media." Li Mo's voice was as calm as if he were stating a fact. "This demon god's physical density is extremely high, making it the most excellent 'subwoofer' resonance cavity in the known Universe. It can amplify the sound wave energy we output by at least ten thousand times without loss, and conduct it accurately and directionally to the other side of the gate."
"It's stuck in the gate, so its body is the physical bridge connecting the two worlds."
"Now, let the neighbors upstairs feel what... rock and roll is all about."
Li Mo took out a Phonograph Jade Talisman shimmering with rainbow light from his storage ring, flicked it gently, and the talisman turned into a stream of light and flew into the main player.
Several large characters were carved on the jade talisman: 'Most Dazzling Xianxia Style - Heavy Metal Rock Remix Edition'.
"Maximum power!"
"Play!"
Boom—!
Just the first drum beat.
That eternal, dark red demon god's butt trembled violently!
As if a volcano dormant for ten thousand years was instantly activated at this moment!
"Dong ci da ci! Dong ci da ci! Boom!"
An indescribable, demonic rhythm containing terrifying Physics impact and mental pollution followed Beelzebub's Physical Body, through the thick concrete, like a bursting flood, and exploded at the other end of the Heavenly Gate—the entrance to the Immortal Realm!
"The vast horizon is my love! At the foot of the rolling green mountains, flowers are blooming!"
"What kind of rhythm is the most swaying! What kind of singing is the most joyful!"
...
Immortal Realm. Outside the South Heaven Gate.
The group of Immortals who were still whispering and mocking the Lower Realm suddenly felt the auspicious clouds beneath their feet vibrating violently.
Immediately after, a sound wave ten million times more terrifying than the demonic sounds of Chaos burst out from underground, from the direction of the Heavenly Gate, without warning.
This sound was not only loud enough to tear apart the Divine Sense, but even more terrifying was that it also contained an 'infrasound' attack generated by the high-frequency vibration of the demon god's Physical Body!
Pfft—!
A Golden Immortal who was meditating and regulating his breath felt the Immortal Qi in his body instantly flow backward. His Dao Heart beat wildly along with that 'dong ci da ci' rhythm. Losing his composure, he spat out a mouthful of golden old blood on the spot.
"What sound?! Where did this evil path come from?!"
"My ears! My Immortal apertures! This sound is poisonous! It's polluting my Dao Heart!"
"Stop! Stop quickly! My... why won't my body listen to me! I want to dance along!"
Even more horrifying was that the twelve sanitation workers, the former Scavengers, actually began to follow the music, dancing a uniform, stiff, yet demonic dance against that huge butt!
Their dance moves, through some eerie law of Karma, were directly imprinted in the minds of everyone in the Immortal Realm, playing on a loop!
This had already transcended the scope of noise attacks.
This was a triple-layered 3D mental pollution from hearing to vision, and then to the mental level!
"Ahhh—! I can't take it! My Three Flowers Gathering at the Top are about to be shaken apart!"
"This is more terrifying than an invasion by Outer Realm Heavenly Demons! At least Heavenly Demons are reasonable!"
"We'll pay! We'll pay! Can't we just pay?! Make it stop!"
They only held out for fifteen minutes.
The big shots of the Immortal Realm completely collapsed.
They had experienced the war between Immortals and demons and resisted Void Realm storms, but they never thought that one day, their Dao Heart would be defeated by a mysterious power from the Lower Realm called 'Square Dance'.
"Stop—!!!"
A golden decree with a huge character for 'Submit' written on it was wrapped in magic power and squeezed out tremblingly from the crack in the door.
Immediately after, a heavy Cosmos Bag was thrown down without hesitation.
Inside, it was filled with the 'property management fees' they had scraped together.
...
The music stopped abruptly.
The whole world instantly regained its tranquility.
Director Haotian stepped forward, picked up the Cosmos Bag, weighed it with magic power, and a standard, professional property manager's smile appeared on his face.
"Wouldn't it have been better if you'd done this earlier?"
He raised the megaphone again and shouted upward with full vigor:
"Given that all fellow Immortals have a good attitude toward admitting their mistakes, this 'renovation nuisance' warning exercise is now over."
"Also, a friendly reminder from this property management: Please consciously sort and dispose of your garbage every day from now on!"
"Dry garbage (Magic Treasure fragments) goes to the east, wet garbage (Immortal fruit residues) goes to the west, hazardous garbage (waste pills and poisons) goes to the south, and recyclable garbage (ownerless Spirit Treasures), please contact this manager directly!"
"Whoever dares to litter again, we will start 'renovating' all night long from midnight!"
"Did you hear that?!"
Above the Heavenly Gate, after a long silence, a uniform but humiliated and trembling response came:
"We... we heard you..."
...
Second floor of the Scripture Pavilion.
Li Mo looked with satisfaction at the large sum of resources that had just arrived at the System's back end. The [Property Management Fee] column had become a new and stable source of income for the Sect.
"Very good."
"Whether they are Immortals or monsters, as long as they live in my residential area, they must abide by the owner's convention and pay property fees on time."
He was about to close the account book when his gaze was attracted by the Cosmos Bag thrown down from the Immortal Realm.
Among those radiant Immortal Crystals and Magic Treasures, an inconspicuous grey stone slab lay quietly.
It didn't belong to any item in the Cosmos Bag; it seemed more like... it had been secretly stuffed in by someone in a panic.
With a thought from Li Mo, the stone slab appeared in his hand.
The touch from his fingertips made his eyebrows twitch slightly.
This material... wasn't Immortal Realm jade, nor was it a mundane object from the Lower Realm.
Is this... a bone fragment of an Ancient God?
On the stone slab, a line of crooked, terrified, and hurried handwriting was carved with an extremely ancient fingernail containing faint Divine Power.
[Run.]
[It is watching you.]
[Do not trust... any light.]
Li Mo's pupils suddenly contracted to the size of pinpoints.
"It seems that this Immortal Realm isn't entirely made of fools who only know how to throw trash."
He looked up, his gaze seemingly penetrating the roof of the Scripture Pavilion, through the Heavenly Gate sealed with concrete, toward a higher, further place shrouded in endless light.
"Do not trust... any light?"
"Could it be that..."
Just as he was thinking.
Woo—
A distant, ethereal whale song, as if from the primordial Chaos, came without warning from deep within the endless sea of clouds beneath the Heavenly River Sword Sect.
This sound penetrated all Mountain Protection Grand Arrays, bypassed all soundproofing barriers, and resounded directly in the depths of everyone's Soul.
The deafening Square Dance music just now seemed like just an appetizer before this whale song.
"What... what is that sound?!" Lei Wanjun's face turned pale. His Physical Body, which was comparable to gods and demons, actually felt a sense of insignificance under this sound.
Li Mo walked to the edge of the terrace. In his eyes, countless profound runes flowed, and the Eye of True Sight was opened to the extreme.
He looked down.
Deep within the churning sea of clouds, a translucent giant shadow, several times larger than the entire Heavenly River Sword Sect, was slowly turning its direction, swimming leisurely toward their 'City in the Sky' which had just finished 'renovation'.
Its body seemed to be composed of pure starlight and void energy, its form dreamlike and illusory, like a giant jellyfish swimming in the depths of the Universe, or like the legendary Kunpeng that leaps ten thousand miles.
It seemed... to have been attracted by the grand 'music party' just now.
Li Mo quickly flipped to the last page of the ancient god medical record book, which was an appendix about the ecosystem of the Ancient God world.
[Unknown Creature No. 003: Void Wanderer.]
[Alias: Wandering Lymphocyte (Wild Species).]
[Habit: Has an extremely strong desire to devour 'abnormal high-energy vibration sources' and 'disordered information flows,' feeding on them.]
[Danger Rank: ??? (Encounter means extinction)]
Li Mo looked at the behemoth that was slowly approaching, then at his butt foundation that had just finished 'renovation,' and the corner of his mouth twitched slightly.
"Oh no."
"The Square Dance was too hype..."
"It seems like I've attracted a stray dog from outside the neighborhood... no, a wild Tyrannosaurus Rex."