92: Chapter 92 My 100,000-strong army, why are they all selling grilled sausages?
Heavenly River Sword Sect, Mountain Gate Square.
A place of tranquility where usually only immortal cranes gathered was now draped with red and green banners. [Warmly celebrating the grand opening of the first 'Immortal Cultivation Immersive Experience Festival'!] [Divine Marquis personally teaches brick-laying techniques, experience price only 998!] [To mend the heavens with this brick, first use it to pave the road—Butcher Xiao]
The Emperor of Great Zhou, Zhou Tiance, using the alias "Old Master Zhou," was dressed as a wealthy old man. Accompanied by the Prime Minister, who was also disguised as a butler, he stood before the mountain gate, his entire being plunged into a massive cognitive dissonance.
"My dear official..." Zhou Tiance pointed at a nearby shouting stall, his hand shaking as if he had Parkinson's. "That man with the beaming smile, skillfully brushing oil onto sausages... is he not the commander of My Imperial Guard?"
The Prime Minister wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and looked closely. The commander wasn't wearing armor; instead, he wore a promotional T-shirt printed with the Heavenly River Sword Sect logo. Holding a cattail leaf fan, he was enthusiastically pitching to a group of Loose Cultivators: "Come, come! Authentic 'Void Tentacle Sausages'! This is top-tier ingredient 'sent' by the Abyssal Lord just two days ago! Extremely nourishing! If it doesn't nourish you, it's free!"
"Your Majesty... oh no, Old Master." The Prime Minister swallowed hard. "That is indeed the Commander. However, seeing the glow on his forehead and that... uh, perverse love for life in his eyes, he must have made great strides on the path of cultivating his heart."
Zhou Tiance took a deep breath, suppressing the sense of absurdity in his heart. "Let's go, let's go inside and see. I want to see exactly what kind of bewitching soup this Heavenly River Sword Sect has fed My army."
Just as the two reached the ticket gate, they were stopped. The person blocking them was none other than the former malevolent deity, now the "Gold Medal Tour Guide"—Butcher Xiao.
At this moment, Butcher Xiao had a megaphone hanging around his neck and was waving a small yellow flag. Seeing Zhou Tiance, there wasn't the slightest hint of surprise in his eyes (because Li Mo had already written the script, telling him that a "big client" would be visiting incognito today).
"Yo, you two look familiar." Butcher Xiao gave a chuckle, a smile that actually carried a hair-raising friendliness. "Are you here to experience the 'Dao Enlightenment Package'?"
Zhou Tiance's gaze narrowed. He looked at Butcher Xiao, trying to see the humiliation of being coerced in his beloved general's eyes. But he failed. He only saw... sincerity. A kind of sincerity that said, "I have finally found the true meaning of life and urgently want to sell you this recommendation."
"Xiao... Foreman." Zhou Tiance said in a low voice, "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
"Of course I know!" Butcher Xiao straightened his back and pointed at the straight concrete road behind him. "I am building a road! I am cultivating my heart! Your Majesty... ahem, Old Master Zhou, look at this road. Is it flat?"
Zhou Tiance looked down. It was indeed very flat. So flat it was like a mirror, even reflecting his current complex expression.
"This is the 'Dao'!" Butcher Xiao exclaimed with deep emotion. "Before, I only knew how to kill, thinking that once everyone was dead, the road would be flat. But under that Saint's guidance, I understood: true flatness is smoothed out shovel by shovel! The hostility in one's heart must also be like this asphalt—melted at high temperatures and finally laid underfoot to be trampled by others before one can reach the end!"
Boom! It was as if a thunderclap exploded in Zhou Tiance's mind. "Trampled by others before one can reach the end..." He repeated the phrase over and over, his gaze gradually shifting from confusion to shock. Was this the state of mind of Foundation Establishment Great Perfection? To transform the path of killing into the path of service—what magnificent breadth of spirit!
"So that's how it is..." Zhou Tiance's eyes grew moist. "My dear official, you have suffered. I didn't expect that for the sake of My Great Zhou's territory, you would actually humble yourself to the dust."
"It's not bitter at all!" Butcher Xiao immediately pulled out a QR code (a spiritual power payment code). "As long as you, Old Master, support our performance and buy a VIP package, it'll be even sweeter."
"Buy it!" Zhou Tiance waved his hand grandly, full of heroic spirit. "Give me... give me the most expensive one!"
...
Ten minutes later. The Emperor of Great Zhou and the Prime Minister, each wearing a green hard hat (the VIP exclusive color) and holding a gold-plated shovel, stood before a freshly dug pit.
"This project is called 'Burying the Past'," Butcher Xiao explained from the side. "Please personally bury this brick (priced at 500 Spirit Stones) into the soil. It symbolizes burying old troubles and planting the seeds of future hope."
Zhou Tiance held the ordinary red brick with a solemn expression. He thought of the intrigues in the imperial court and the beacon fires on the borders. "Burying the Past..." He solemnly placed the brick into the pit, filled it with soil, and stepped on it firmly.
In that instant, whether it was a psychological effect or not, he actually felt his mind become clear, as if his years of cervical spondylosis had been cured.
In reality, it was Li Mo in the Scripture Pavilion who couldn't stand the awkward acting anymore and had secretly used his remaining reading privileges to add a temporary [Minor Spiritual Qi Release] affix to that pit.
"Miraculous!" the Prime Minister cried out in surprise from the side. "Old Master! I feel my old cold legs heating up! This soil... there is Immortal Qi in this soil!"
Zhou Tiance was even more excited, his face flushed. He grabbed Butcher Xiao's hand: "Is this the Saint's method? Teaching through joy, nourishing things silently! Brilliant! Truly brilliant!"
"Of course." Butcher Xiao took the opportunity to introduce the next project. "Old Master, there's also a 'Grinding the Millstone to Enlighten the Dao' project over there, which is helping the Sect grind soy milk. Although there's a fee, this millstone has been passed down from ancient times..."
"Go! We'll go to all of them!" Zhou Tiance was now completely hooked. He felt that every blade of grass and every tree here contained profound meaning. Where was that army of a hundred thousand selling sausages? They were clearly tempering their hearts in the Mortal World!
...
Scripture Pavilion, second floor.
Li Mo looked through the window at the Emperor of Great Zhou, who was happily grinding the millstone, contributing both money and labor. He couldn't help but shake his head. "This is a typical victim of 'paying for knowledge'."
He glanced at the ledger on the table. In just half a day, the food expenses for the army of a hundred thousand had been earned back, with a surplus to boot.
"Squeak." The Treasure-Seeking Rat hopped up, pointed at the Emperor, and then at Li Mo's pen, meaning: Can we still fleece this fat sheep?
Li Mo smiled, picked up the pen, and wrote a line on a new sheet of rice paper. "Since he loves 'enlightening the Dao' so much, let's give him a big gift."
What he wrote was: "Letter of Intent on Establishing a Strategic Partnership between the Great Zhou Dynasty and the Tianhe Sword Sect." Attached terms:
The Heavenly River Sword Sect shall have "Tax Exemption Privileges."
The Great Zhou Dynasty shall be responsible for providing all Materials for the expansion of the Scripture Pavilion.
In return, Li Mo would bestow a single character upon the Emperor of Great Zhou.
"Go, give this to Butcher Xiao and have him pass it to that 'Old Master Zhou'." Li Mo folded the paper into a paper crane and let it fly out.
At this time, Zhou Tiance had just finished grinding the millstone and was sitting by the roadside drinking the soy milk he had ground himself (and paid 100 Spirit Stones for), looking satisfied. When he saw the paper crane and its contents, his hand jerked, and the soy milk spilled everywhere.
"Bestowing a character?" Zhou Tiance's breathing quickened. That hidden Saint who had never shown his face was going to bestow a character upon him?
He tremblingly opened the last page of the folded paper. There was only one character, written with flowing strokes, carrying an unspeakable sense of... laziness.
[Gou].
"Gou?" The Prime Minister leaned in to look and was stunned. "What does this mean? Is he calling Your Majesty a... dog?"
"Presumptuous!" Zhou Tiance barked, but his eyes erupted with an unprecedented brilliance. "Shallow! You are far too shallow!" He held the character as if it were a priceless treasure. "The Saint's meaning is: 'If you can renovate yourself one day, do so from day to day, and let there be daily renovation'! This is a warning to Me, as the ruler of a nation, to constantly self-reflect and innovate to ensure long-term peace and stability!"
"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" Zhou Tiance laughed toward the sky. "This incognito visit was worth it! Pass down the order: I will sign that letter of intent! Not only will I sign it, but I will also title this Heavenly River Sword Sect as the 'Number One Holy Land Under Heaven'!"
In the Scripture Pavilion, Li Mo listened to the laughter in the distance and took a sip of tea. "...Actually, I just wanted him to stop causing so much trouble and just 'lay low' (Gou) and not look for things to do. But since he insists on interpreting it that way... there's nothing I can do."
Just then, the System panel suddenly flickered. Although the Administrator Privilege was still restricted, a new icon lit up. It was a new function unlocked after he completed the hidden achievement of "Conquering the Great Zhou Dynasty."
[Notice: Large amount of Reputation detected.] [Special Building Function Unlocked: Scripture Pavilion · Second Floor Expansion.] [New Area: Restricted Book Area (Currently Vacant).]
Li Mo's eyes lit up. Restricted Book Area? Did that mean he could display all those unspeakable books he got from Little Black's hometown (the Abyss)?
"It seems this immersive experience park is about to welcome a 'Haunted House' section." The corners of Li Mo's mouth curled up slightly. Compared to selling sausages, scaring people... was his real specialty.