84: Chapter 84 Please wear a safety helmet when entering the construction site.
Dark clouds weigh down upon the city, as if to crush it. This line of poetry is usually used to describe the urgency of war, but at this moment, before the mountain gate of the Heavenly River Sword Sect, it wasn't just clouds pressing down, but a literal hundred thousand Black-Armored Elite Cavalry.
Great Zhou Dynasty, Divine Marquis Who Guards the Nation, Butcher Xiao. This name represented a kind of absolute violent aesthetic in the Cultivation World. It was said that he once commanded the three armies as a Mortal, using the military's Evil Qi to forcibly trap and kill a Nascent Soul Stage old monster. At this moment, he sat atop a "One-Horned Fire Rhino" covered in scales, his gaze like lightning, coldly watching the seemingly crumbling mountain gate ahead.
"This is the Heavenly River Sword Sect?" Butcher Xiao's voice sounded like metal scraping against iron, making one's eardrums ache. "I heard they produced a Saint who misleads the public with demonic words and even intends to rebel?"
The adjutant beside him immediately handed over a Memory Stone: "Marquis, according to reports from scouts, that so-called 'Saint' is nothing more than a Servant hiding in the Scripture Pavilion. As for the rebellion... their movements have indeed been mysterious lately, and the mountain gate has been tightly shut."
"Hmph, playing tricks." Butcher Xiao waved his horsewhip, pointing toward the mountain gate. "Pass down my military order: raze the Heavenly River Sword Sect to the ground! Leave no chicken or dog alive!"
"Yes—!!" A hundred thousand soldiers roared in unison, the sound waves dispersing the clouds across the sky. That condensed blood-and-iron Evil Qi transformed into a massive black tiger phantom, roaring as it pounced toward the mountain gate.
However, the vanguard troops charging at the front suddenly stopped three hundred meters away from the mountain gate. It wasn't because of fear, nor was it because they were hit by an immobilization technique. It was because... they had no choice but to stop.
On the originally wide and flat mountain path, a red and white... caution tape had appeared at some unknown time. The caution tape fluttered in the wind, looking exceptionally fragile. Right in the center of the tape, a piece of white paper personally hung by Daoist Qingxu was posted, with a line of words written in a flamboyant hand:
[Construction ahead. No entry for unauthorized persons (and armies of fewer than a hundred thousand).]
"Bastard!" the Vanguard Officer shouted in rage. "A mere scrap of paper thinks it can stop the Great Zhou Dynasty's iron cavalry? Charge through!"
He kicked his horse's belly hard. The warhorse beneath him neighed, its four hooves exerting force as it prepared to cross the caution tape. Then, something strange happened. As soon as the horse's front hooves crossed the line, the originally solid ground suddenly became like quicksand... no, like a patch of wet cement being stirred. The horse stepped into thin air, and when it pulled its hoof out, a mysterious... gray boot had appeared on it?
Immediately after, a cold, mechanical prompt sounded in the air (it was actually a recording Li Mo had made with a Voice-Recording Talisman): [Ding! Unauthorized entry detected.] [Construction Site Safety Regulation No. 1: Non-construction personnel are strictly prohibited from entering.]
"What the hell is this!" The Vanguard Officer drew his blade and slashed at the white paper. Saber Qi surged, enough to cut gold and break jade. However, the moment the Saber Qi touched the paper, a translucent shield icon with a giant yellow exclamation mark suddenly appeared above it. [System Prompt: This facility is under maintenance and is currently in an invincible state.] The Saber Qi shattered, and the Vanguard Officer was sent flying back, horse and all, his hand split open by the recoil.
In the rear, Butcher Xiao frowned. "A Formation?" He sneered. "Paltry tricks. All troops, assume Formation! Use Evil Qi to disperse it!"
The hundred-thousand-strong army instantly changed Formation. A surge of blood-colored Evil Qi capable of shaking heaven and earth rose into the sky, turning into a torrent that slammed violently against the caution tape. This kind of military Evil Qi was the ultimate counter to a cultivator's Formations, often able to break through finesse with sheer force.
But this time, what they encountered wasn't a Formation; it was "urban planning."
Just as the torrent of Evil Qi was about to submerge the mountain gate, inside the Scripture Pavilion, Li Mo was sipping goji berry tea while circling a page in "Introduction to Civil Engineering" with a cinnabar pen. "Do you think you don't have to follow the rules just because there are many of you? Naive."
He picked up his pen and added a new rule in the margin of the page: [Construction Site Safety Regulation No. 2: All persons entering the work area must wear safety protective gear.]
Buzz— A grand and absurd Law descended. The unstoppable torrent of Evil Qi suddenly collapsed and reorganized the moment it crossed the caution tape. Then, under a hundred thousand pairs of stunned eyes, this power capable of destroying a nation condensed in mid-air into... a hundred thousand round, yellow hats. Safety helmets.
Patter, patter, patter... It was like a rainstorm. A hundred thousand safety helmets landed precisely on the head of every soldier, their chin straps automatically buckling. Even Butcher Xiao's majestic One-Horned Fire Rhino had an extra-large yellow safety helmet forced onto its head, its originally fierce aura instantly becoming... endearingly clumsy.
The entire field fell silent. The wind blew, and a hundred thousand yellow hats shimmered in the sunlight—a scene both spectacular and ridiculous.
"This... what is this?!" Butcher Xiao touched the hard plastic shell on his head. No matter how he tried, he couldn't take it off, as if the hat had grown onto his skull. At this moment, his dignity as the Divine Marquis Who Guards the Nation lay in pieces on the ground.
"Marquis, do we... do we still charge?" the adjutant asked with a sob, his own safety helmet sitting askew on his head. The current Black-Armored Army didn't look like a "blood-and-iron legion" at all; they looked like a massive construction crew!
"Charge! Charge for me!" Butcher Xiao shouted in humiliation and rage, the veins on his forehead bulging. "I don't believe this sorcery can do anything more to us!"
He roared and launched another charge while wearing his little yellow hat. This time, they actually made it in. Because they were wearing safety helmets, they met the "entry requirements." However, Li Mo's "construction" was clearly far from over.
The moment the army charged onto the mountain path, the scene before them changed. The bluestone steps that originally led to the main hall of the Heavenly River Sword Sect had vanished, replaced by a massive, incredibly complex... maze. At the entrance of the maze stood a brand-new road sign:
[Road maintenance ahead. Please detour.] [Detour route: Left turn -> Go straight -> Right turn -> Jump three times -> Walk on hands for five hundred meters -> Reach destination.]
"This is too much!!" Butcher Xiao looked at the outrageous road sign, nearly spitting out a mouthful of blood. He was the dignified Divine Marquis Who Guards the Nation, the Great Zhou Dynasty's God of War. If he truly led a hundred thousand troops to walk on their hands here, the Great Zhou Dynasty would become the laughingstock of the entire Cultivation World tomorrow!
"Tear it down! Tear this mountain down for me!" he roared frantically.
On the second floor of the Scripture Pavilion, Li Mo looked at the "yellow construction crew" in the distance, which had become a complete mess, and nodded with satisfaction. "Want to demolish the place? Then you'll have to get a 'Blasting Engineer Certificate' first."
He put down the "Introduction to Civil Engineering" and pulled an even more despair-inducing book from a corner of the bookshelf. The title: "Administrative Approval Processes and Service Guide."
"Since you're in, go line up at the various windows to get your stamps." Li Mo smiled slightly and picked up his pen again. On this day, the Great Zhou Dynasty's Divine Marquis, Butcher Xiao, finally recalled the fear of being dominated by "bureaucratic runarounds."