59: Chapter 59 The "Constipation" Tragedy in the Immortal Realm and the Garbage Sorting Craze Across the Entire Sect
High above the Heavenly River Sword Sect, the 'Ascension Channel', once revered as the ultimate glory, had now completely devolved into an out-of-control sewage pipe.
A black torrent, mixed with indescribable solids, gushed forth continuously downwards.
At the far end of the channel, the Immortal responsible for 'guidance' was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
He was originally a herder looking down upon all living beings, his scythe raised high, ready to harvest the plumpest leeks of the season.
But before the scythe could fall, not only had not a single leek ascended, but across billions of miles of space and time, they had spat a glob of phlegm accumulated over ten thousand years right into his face.
No, it was worse than that.
It was like directly detonating his family's septic tank that hadn't been cleaned for ten thousand years.
"Rebellion... total rebellion!"
The Immortal trembled as he wiped away the layer of slimy sludge from his face—it was once discarded Immortal energy crystals from the Immortal Realm, now reduced to nothing but humiliating stench.
His Immortal body shook, not from fear, but from extreme fury and humiliation.
"Insects of the Lower Realm! How dare you... how dare you defile the Immortal gate in such a manner!"
"I shall deliver divine punishment! I shall grind your world, along with your ashes, into nothingness!"
BOOM——!!!
The entire channel shook violently as Immortal light clashed fiercely with filth.
The Immortal intended to single-handedly forcibly reverse the rules Li Mo had tampered with, not only to stop this disgraceful 'excretion' but also to manifest his true form and personally crush these rebellious 'cultures'.
A hand.
A giant hand, smeared with black sludge yet still radiating brilliant golden light, was slowly squeezing its way in from the other end of the channel.
The sky darkened.
It wasn't due to clouds blocking the sun, but because the hand was so massive it blotted out most of the daylight.
A terrifying pressure, like billions of tons of seawater crashing down, descended. The Heavenly River Sword Sect's Mountain Protection Grand Array groaned under the strain. Countless low-Rank Disciples bled from their ears and fainted on the spot.
This was the majesty of an 'Immortal'.
Even through the barrier of worlds, even if it was just a hand, it was enough to flatten a top-tier Sect.
"Tsk, still trying to force your way in?"
On the balcony of the Scripture Pavilion, Li Mo watched the giant hand propping open the sky and shook his head with some disdain.
"I already told you this is a sewage pipe."
"Who in their right mind tries to climb into someone's house through the sewer? So unhygienic."
He picked up the *Ancient God Medical Record* and casually flipped to the page documenting the 'excretion orifice'. With a flourish of his brush, he added a line of commentary in bold, flowing script.
[Maintenance Log:]
[Severe blockage detected in the pipe. A large foreign object (Immortal's hand) is attempting reverse entry.]
[Solution: Activate 'High-Pressure Pulse Flush' mode. Increase pressure! Clear the silt!]
After writing, Li Mo grabbed a nearby megaphone and bellowed downwards.
"Deputy Minister Lei! Stop fucking scavenging!"
"Channel all the energy from the 'tianhe no. 1' reactor up here! Target: that hole in the sky!"
"Gu Canghai! Kong Mengchang! Organize everyone, shout the slogans with me! Increase the spiritual pressure for me!"
"YES!!!"
On the ground, the crowd, already questioning their life choices from the stench of this 'Immortal excrement', instantly found their backbone and roared in unified response.
Lei Wanjun went all out, his eyes bloodshot. He controlled the hundreds of giant energy-gathering mirrors from Nether Valley, converging their terrifying thermal energy into a thick pillar of light brighter than the sun, shooting it skyward!
Simultaneously, tens of thousands of Cultivators focused their Qi in their Dantians. Led by Kong Mengchang, they unleashed a roar powerful enough to blow the tops of their heads off.
It wasn't just simple sound waves.
It was a spiritual torrent, a convergence of resentment, fury, and indignation suppressed for countless generations, deceived for countless years!
"Back off! Back off! Back off!"
"We won't eat your empty promises!"
"We only want your garbage!"
BOOM——!!!
The blazing white pillar of light and the colossal sound wave merged perfectly, transforming into an unstoppable 'reverse thrust' that blasted precisely into the Ascension Channel.
It struck the Immortal's giant hand, which had just squeezed halfway in!
The scene was like using an industrial-grade high-pressure water jet to blast away a decades-old grease clog in a sewer drain.
"AH—!!!"
From the other end of the channel came a heart-rending, utterly distorted scream.
Golden light splattered, flesh and blood flew.
The Immortal's giant hand was instantly blasted open, skin torn, bones shattered inch by inch. Even the Immortal's main body on the other side of the channel was violently shoved back by this terrifying torrent from the 'Lower Realm'—a mixture of light, sound, spirit, and aged Immortal excrement!
*Pfft—*
Immortal Realm, Guidance Platform.
Like an out-of-control cannonball, the Immortal was violently ejected by his own 'Ascension Channel'. He tumbled over a dozen times across the smooth jade floor, smashing several carved Dragon jade pillars before coming to a ragged stop.
His body was charred black, his Immortal robes in tatters. From his seven orifices flowed a black, filthy mixture of blood and waste.
And the Ascension Channel connecting to the Lower Realm, after completing this earth-shattering 'spurt', let out a satisfied 'burp', then completely closed and vanished.
The sky was clear for ten thousand miles.
Only the black crystals and stinking waste residue scattered across the ground still wafted an intoxicating... 'Immortal Qi'.
...
After a brief, dead silence, the square erupted into a mountain-toppling, sea-churning roar.
"We won! We flushed the god away!"
"Hahahaha! Flushed away! That one shout of mine felt like I roared out a Heart Demon that's been blocking me for thirty years! My Dao Heart is clear! I'm about to have a Breakthrough!"
Countless Disciples hugged each other, weeping and laughing.
This was a miracle unprecedented in the history of Cultivation, the most thorough and satisfying victory of Mortals over Immortals.
"Alright, enough celebrating."
Li Mo's voice, amplified by magic, spread across the entire area, interrupting the revelry.
"We've chased off the beggars who came knocking, but we still have to eat our own meals."
"Gu Canghai, organize the manpower immediately. Begin 'garbage sorting' and 'resource recycling'."
"Remember, these things have extremely high energy levels. Be careful when handling them. Don't let ten-thousand-year-old Immortal Realm excrement blow your hands off."
"Yes!"
For the next half-day, the Heavenly River Sword Sect completely transformed into a super-sized 'interstellar resource recycling station'.
Guided by the theories from the *Basic Chemistry* and *Material Separation Science* provided by Li Mo, the pitch-black 'Immortal Realm garbage' was meticulously sorted into categories.
"Heavens! This... this is discarded Immortal Spirit Stone! My goodness!"
The Grand Elder held a black crystal the size of a human head, his beard trembling with excitement.
"Although its spiritual nature is completely lost, the energy density inside is at least a hundred times that of a Top-Grade Spirit Stone! If we can purify it, even Old Ancestors at the Unity stage could munch on it like candy!"
"And this!" Kong Mengchang pointed at a pile of rusted metal fragments, his eyes gleaming. "Immortal Artifact fragments! The Great Dao runes on them are still intact! Carve off any piece and refine it into our Flying Swords, and they'll become divine Sharp Weapons!"
Even the most disgusting, stickiest black sludge was considered a strategic-grade weapon by Discipline Committee Director Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion.
"This stuff... contains the decayed rules of the Immortal Realm."
Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion pinched his chin, a sinister glint in his eyes.
"Seal them into specially crafted Magical Artifact jars. In the future, if anyone dares to be corrupt, disobey Sect orders, we'll throw an 'Immortal Qi Purification Bomb' into their Immortal Cave, give them an unforgettable Immortal Qi SPA for life."
Li Mo watched these Sect leaders, who had completely turned into 'Scavengers' and quickly found value in the garbage, and nodded with satisfaction.
Good. The Sect's future is stable.
"Since the Immortal Realm has blacklisted us, we can only rely on self-sufficiency and develop through internal circulation."
"With this first batch of startup capital, our 'Abyss Colonization Plan' can officially pick up speed."
He walked over to the cross-realm communication Formation and picked up the strangely-shaped message-in-a-bottle.
"Send orders to Ji Wushuang."
"The first batch of 'Immortal Realm Targeted Poverty Alleviation Supplies' is about to be delivered."
"Tell him to stop spending all day giving ideological and moral lessons to the Abyss demons. Hurry up and get that 'Otherworld Plantation' built for me."
"We'll use Immortal Realm fertilizer to grow Abyss crops, ultimately feeding our Human Realm Cultivators."
"This is called an ecological closed-loop, sustainable resource exhaustion."
...
Meanwhile.
The 'Immortal Realm', that parasitic zone floating outside the Ancient God's body.
Inside a majestic Immortal palace, the atmosphere was cold enough to freeze Divine Souls.
The Immortal who had been flushed away knelt before the throne, his body shaking like a sieve.
The filth on him had long been purified by Immortal techniques, but the humiliation etched deep into his Soul clung like a bone-maggot, impossible to wash away.
"Waste."
From the divine throne at the end of the great hall, a figure shrouded in endless divine light uttered two words.
The voice wasn't loud, yet it made the entire Immortal palace hum.
"A mere Lower Realm petri dish has actually developed 'self-awareness'?"
"Not only refusing to be harvested, but even learning to retaliate."
"It seems the 'microbial ecology' within this Ancient God's corpse has undergone a malignant mutation."
The figure within the divine light slowly stood up. Its gaze seemed to pierce through the barriers of space and time, landing on the Heavenly River Sword Sect, which was currently bustling with 'garbage sorting' activity.
"Since the 'Ascension' entrapment plan has failed..."
"Then, execute Plan B."
"Order the [Scavengers] unit."
"Carry 'broad-spectrum inactivators'. Prepare for a forced descent to the Lower Realm."
"Since the cultures are no longer obedient, we will conduct a thorough, indiscriminate Physics-based purification of the entire petri dish."
"Even if it means destroying the vitality of this region for billions of years to come, we cannot allow the slightest risk of 'mutation' to spread."
"Yes!"
Below the great hall, dozens of Immortal generals clad in silver-white armor, their auras cold as machines, knelt on one knee and responded in unison.
What they held in their hands were not swords or Magic Treasures.
But monstrously shaped giant metal sprayers, their nozzles radiating destructive white light...
These were the ultimate weapons the Immortal Realm used specifically to eradicate 'malignant lesions' within Ancient God bodies—world-ending level rule eradicators.
...
Heavenly River Sword Sect, Scripture Pavilion.
Li Mo, who was taking inventory of the gains while casually flipping through the *Medical Record*, suddenly felt his eyelid twitch.
On the page, a line of crimson text automatically appeared.
[Warning: High-intensity external threat signal detected.]
[Threat source: External parasitic zone (Immortal Realm).]
[Analysis: Target has initiated 'sterilization and disinfection' protocol.]
[Estimated contact time: Three days from now.]
[Threat level: World-ending.]
Li Mo looked at this death countdown, not a trace of panic on his face.
He slowly closed the book and even stretched lazily with apparent interest.
"Scavengers, huh?"
"Perfect timing."
"My 'Ancient God Psychiatric Rehabilitation Center' just opened for business. I was just worried about not having suitable 'chief physicians' and 'clinical samples'."
"Since you've come all this way with your 'disinfectant'..."
"Then don't blame this 'director'... for planting some fresh 'viruses' into your System."
Li Mo stood up and walked towards the deepest part of the bookshelf.
There, lying quietly, was a forbidden tome he had never opened since obtaining his Golden Finger, its cover pure black.
Its title was written in a twisted font, as if composed of countless wailing Souls:
*Introduction to Ancient God Virology: From Beginner to Inducing Immune System Self-Destruction*.
"Ling'er."
Li Mo called softly.
"Master, I am here."
"Spread the word. Stop scavenging for now."
"Prepare to clean up and receive our distinguished guests."
"This time, we're going to give our lofty Immortal Realm friends..."
"A vivid, interesting, and unforgettable—"
"Advanced biology lesson."