113: Chapter 113 Flame Lord? No, you're a lump of burning lubricant.
Deep within the Western Desert, at the core vent.
This was the source of all heat in the Western Desert. The ground was no longer sand, but a pitch-black, sintered crystalline metal grid. Through the gaps in the grid, one could vaguely see a mechanical structure so massive it inspired despair in the bottomless darkness below—a Planetary-Scale Cooling Turbine.
But now, this turbine was not spinning. It was 'stuck'.
What was jamming it was a mountain. A Flame Lord composed of crimson flame crystals, radiating the pressure of the Peak Soul Transformation Stage (even approaching Void Refining). It was perched upon the turbine's bearing like a malignant tumor growing on a heart, continuously releasing intense heat that made the surrounding air crackle and pop.
"Roar—!!!" Sensing the presence of outsiders, the Flame Lord opened its eyes, which resembled lakes of lava. "Lowly bugs! How dare you turn my subjects (Flame Giants) into... into those useless things that only spit cold air!" "This is the Domain of Fire! An eternal purgatory! You shall all die!"
Boom! With a wave of its hand, a rain of fire filled the sky, smashing down toward Li Mo's maintenance army like meteors.
"Activate cold air shields!" Butcher Xiao bellowed. Tens of thousands of Flame Giants, modified into 'air conditioners,' simultaneously increased their power, spraying white freezing currents toward the sky. Sizzle— The rain of fire was frozen into black stone eggs in mid-air, clattering as they fell to the ground.
Tianhe Academy Mobile Command Center.
Li Mo paid no heed to the battle outside. He was holding the **Eye of Truth**, scanning that insufferably arrogant Flame Lord.
[Scan complete.] [Target Name: Flame Lord (Self-proclaimed).] [True Identity: Heavy Industrial Lubricating Grease (Expired/Carbonized).] [Cause of Failure: Due to not being replaced for a hundred thousand years, the lubricant has dried up, accumulated carbon, and spontaneously combusted under high temperatures.] [Current Status: Jammed in the bearing, believes itself to be a fire god.]
“...” Li Mo lowered his binoculars, his expression somewhat hard to describe. "After all that, it's not a monster, it's oil sludge." "And it's a lump of sludge that has gained self-awareness and thinks it's a big deal."
He turned to look at Lei Wanjun. "Director Lei, here's a Physics problem." "When a bearing is jammed due to dried-up oil sludge, what should we do?"
Lei Wanjun pushed up his glasses, a cold light flashing in his eyes: "Option A: Violent impact (shatter it)." "Option B: Chemical dissolution (clean it)." "Option C: Re-lubrication (cover it)."
"Very good." Li Mo snapped his fingers. "A three-pronged approach." "System, exchange a bottle of... [Conceptual Grade · Powerful Rust-Removing Lubricant (WD-40 Cultivation Special Edition)]."
...
On the battlefield.
The Flame Lord was fighting with gusto. It found that while these 'bugs' didn't have high attack power, they were exceptionally durable, and that white cold air made it very uncomfortable. "Die! All of you, burn to ash!" It roared, preparing to unleash its Natal True Fire to completely melt the entire Western Desert.
Just then, the sky above its head suddenly went dark. A massive, mountain-like... red and blue iron canister appeared out of thin air. Symbols it couldn't understand were written on the canister: WD-40.
Li Mo's voice rang out through the loudspeaker, carrying the characteristic exhaustion of a repairman: "Hey you, stop shouting." "Isn't your throat dry?" "Come on, open wide, I'll spray some 'Immortal Water' for you."
"What is this?!" The Flame Lord instinctively sensed a threat. It wanted to dodge, only to find that the surrounding space had been locked down by those tens of thousands of air-conditioner giants (the convection of hot and cold air had formed a wind wall).
Sssss—!!!
The nozzle of that massive iron canister pointed at the Flame Lord and sprayed a stream of transparent liquid with a pungent odor (actually a mixture of Abyss Slime).
The moment the liquid drenched the Flame Lord's body, there was no explosion, nor was there a violent collision of spiritual power. Instead... the fire went out.
"Ah! My fire! My power!" The Flame Lord discovered to its horror that its proud flames had instantly extinguished before this liquid. Even more terrifying was that its body began to change. Its originally hard, rough crystalline shell began to become... greasy. Super slippery, incomparably slippery. Friction instantly dropped to zero.
[Rule Descent: Absolute Smoothness.]
"No! I am the fire god! I cannot slip!" The Flame Lord tried to stand firm, but as soon as its feet exerted force, its entire body went 'whoosh,' sliding down from the top of the bearing like a bar of soap.
Plop. It fell precisely into that massive bearing gap.
"Let me out! It's so dark here! So cramped!" The Flame Lord struggled in the gap. But as it struggled, the layer of originally dried 'carbon deposits' was dissolved, and its body reverted to a semi-fluid lubricating grease state. The more it struggled, the more evenly it was applied.
Tianhe Command Center.
Li Mo watched this scene and nodded with satisfaction. "That's more like it." "Oil should have the self-awareness of being oil; why try to be a fire god?"
He pressed the green button on the console. [Fan Starting.] [Current Lubrication: 100% (Perfect).]
Hum—
A dull vibration came from deep within the earth. The massive turbine, which had been jammed for tens of thousands of years, finally turned slowly once under the nourishment of the 'Flame Lord Brand Lubricant.' Then a second time, a third...
Whoosh—!!!
An indescribable gale erupted from underground. This wasn't ordinary wind; it was the sound of waste heat and exhaust gases accumulated over countless ages being forcibly expelled. This heatwave shot straight into the clouds, instantly dispersing the fire clouds that had lingered over the Western Desert for years.
Immediately after, fresh cool air from outside was sucked in. The circulation System was now open.
...
A quarter of an hour later.
The cultivators of the Western Desert (if any survived) witnessed a miracle. That red land that had burned for ten thousand years was cooling at a speed visible to the naked eye. The originally red sand turned gray, and the scorching air became cool. Snowflakes began to fall from the sky...
Yes, snow. Because the cooling System was running at full power, coupled with the support of tens of thousands of air-conditioner giants, the temperature in the Western Desert dropped directly from 500 degrees to 20 degrees below zero.
"Achoo!" Butcher Xiao sneezed, wrapping his fur coat (just stripped from a Demon Pig) tighter around himself. "Dean, isn't this... a bit too much cooling?" "This doesn't look like the Western Desert; it's colder than the North Sea!"
Li Mo took a sip of his already frozen Happy Water and said calmly, "It's fine, this is called 'over-correction'." "Let it freeze for two days to disinfect it."
He glanced at the high-speed rotating green fan icon on the map. [Side Quest Complete: Restart Cooling System (2/4).] [World Sailing Speed increased to: 15 knots (Drifting is now possible).] [New Trait Obtained: Two Heavens of Ice and Fire (Choose whether you want to be a barbecue grill or an ice maker, it's up to you).]
"Alright, work's done." Li Mo stood up and stretched. "Notify everyone to open a branch campus in the Western Desert." "The name will be... [Tianhe Academy of Refrigeration and Low-Temperature Superconducting Physics]." "Let those Flame Giants be the instructors, specifically to teach students how to 'keep cool'."
"Next stop." Li Mo's finger pointed to the northernmost end of the map—the North Sea, which was shrouded in mist year-round and rumored to be inhabited by giant demons. That was the warship's radar System (also the eyes of the Ancient God). It was said to have been blind for tens of thousands of years.
"Let's go." "Time to perform... eye surgery on this world."