71: Chapter 71 The Emperor's Guide to "Re-employment" and the Birth of the Strongest Customer Service Representative in the Cultivation World

tianhe no. 1 Oil Field, Pit No. 1.

This was the "sewer" of the entire Sect's industrial system.

The air was filled with the pungent exhaust of ancient gods and the thick smell of black oil, enough to drive an ordinary Cultivator insane.

Therefore, the jobs here were usually only assigned to those thick-skinned Abyssal Ogres who weren't particularly bright.

But today, the atmosphere here changed abruptly.

"Number Three! Your waist! Your power point is wrong!"

A man, pitch-black all over and identifiable only by his human shape, stood atop a rusted oil drum.

He brandished an ogre's leg bone, pointing and gesturing at the mountain-like monsters below.

It was none other than the Haotian Celestial Emperor, who was undergoing forced labor reform.

"Unite your waist and stance! Use your core! Do you think you're just digging dirt? This is excavation! You must pay attention to efficiency and aesthetics!"

"You Shadow Demons over there, roll those oil drums straight! Are you drawing maggots on the ground? A military formation! Do you understand what a military formation's alignment is?!"

Surprisingly, the group of Abyssal monsters, who usually bit each other at the slightest provocation, were now as docile as sheep.

They lowered their heads and submissively executed the tiny human's orders with meticulous care.

The monsters didn't understand "Fluid Mechanics," but they could sense a pressure coming from the depths of their Souls.

It was an absolute suppression originating from their life tier.

The bossy aura of this tiny human, who viewed all things as straw dogs, made their genes scream with alarms: disobey, and you die.

"Very good, keep it up."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor wiped the oil from his face with the back of his hand, revealing eyes that remained sharp.

He nodded with satisfaction.

His status as a prisoner could not erase the obsessive-compulsive disorder and desire for control that were etched into his very marrow.

Enduring the inefficient work of these useless fools was more painful than killing him.

"Once I recover my cultivation... these Abyssal Ogres could actually be incorporated into the vanguard camp. Thick-skinned, they'd make decent cannon fodder..."

He was mentally simulating reforms for the future Heavenly Court's military system.

A playful voice suddenly drifted down from above his head.

"Good job, Number 9527."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor's body stiffened, and he suddenly looked up.

Li Mo floated in mid-air, wearing a pristine white lab coat that was completely out of place in this oily Hell.

He looked down from above at the "model construction site" he had created.

Behind him stood Lei Wanjun, whose face was twitching, and... a figure that made his pupils shrink.

The Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion, Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion.

"Si... Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion?!"

The Haotian Celestial Emperor's imperial prestige was about to burst out uncontrollably. "You traitor! How dare you not bow when you see Your Majesty...!"

"Ahem."

The Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion pushed the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, his posture resembling a discipline inspection official from a Mortal movie.

He flipped open the "Employee Handbook" in his hand, his tone devoid of any emotion.

"Employee Number 9-5-2-7, please watch your language."

"According to Article 12, Chapter 3 of the handbook, disrespecting the company's high-level leadership (referring to Li Mo) results in a 5-point deduction from this month's performance bonus."

"There is no Your Majesty here, only workers."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor felt a breath stuck in his chest, his face turning purple from suppression.

High-level?

A Mortal, a traitor—they deserve to be called high-level?!

"Alright, don't scare our newly promoted management talent."

Li Mo landed lightly on another oil drum next to the Haotian Celestial Emperor, looking him in the eye.

"I've checked the backend data."

"In the three days since you joined, the oil production of Pit No. 1 has increased by 300%, and the industrial accident rate has dropped by 90%."

Li Mo walked a circle around him, his gaze like one admiring an unpolished piece of jade.

"This proves one thing."

"You are a natural-born project manager."

"Throwing you here to dig for oil is a massive waste of talent."

Li Mo snapped his fingers.

"Congratulations, 9527, you've been promoted."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor's teeth ground together as he squeezed out a few words: "I... have no need for it! Kill me or do as you wish! I will never serve the Demonic Path!"

"Don't be so quick to refuse."

Li Mo pulled out two things as if by magic.

A brand-new [Labor Contract] and... a golden, shiny pack of spicy strips with the words "Supreme Collection" printed on it.

"New position: [Tianhe Group · Director of Administration]."

"Job description: Managing people."

Li Mo's tone carried a bewitching magic.

"Manage those Abyssal monsters, manage those Shadow Sect assassins, and even... manage that group of disobedient Immortals in the sky."

"Everything you find unpleasant will be under your management."

"Benefits..." Li Mo waved the spicy strips in his hand. "These, as much as you want. Plus a private office and weekends off."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor's Adam's apple bobbed violently.

Reason told him this was a humiliation.

But his body's instinct craved the domineering aroma emanating from that pack of spicy strips.

More importantly, the words "managing people" accurately struck his Soul's deepest G-spot.

This was about dignity!

This was the taste of power!

"...Manage Immortals?"

The Haotian Celestial Emperor caught the key point of the sentence, his voice a bit dry.

"Exactly."

Li Mo pointed toward the sky.

"Our blind box business has been too popular lately. Those old guys in the Immortal Realm are complaining every day that the 'drop rate is too low,' gathering to make trouble and saying they'll storm the Heavenly Gate."

"I need someone who understands them, has prestige, and can keep things under control to handle the after-sales disputes of these 'high-end customers'."

"I think there's no one in the world more suitable than you."

A terrifying light erupted in the Haotian Celestial Emperor's eyes.

Handle disputes?

Isn't that just scolding people across a network line?

Scolding those subjects who used to kneel at his feet but now dared to gather and cause trouble?

This job... I'm familiar with it!

"Deal!"

The Haotian Celestial Emperor snatched the spicy strips and the contract, signing his divine name with the fastest speed of his life.

He tore open the packaging and took a large bite. The spicy and domineering flavor exploded on his taste buds, making him so satisfied he almost shed tears of humiliation and happiness.

"However, I... this Director has conditions."

"From now on, you are not allowed to call me 9527."

He lifted his oil-stained chin, trying to maintain his last shred of dignity.

"Call me, Director Hao."

...

Half an hour later.

Heavenly River Sword Sect, [Customer Service and Crisis Public Relations Center].

A side hall of the Scripture Pavilion had been urgently renovated, filled with a bizarre mix of cyberpunk and classical Xianxia styles.

Dozens of massive golden sound-transmission formations buzzed like walls of telephones.

"Director Hao, please."

The Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion led the Haotian Celestial Emperor, who had changed into a sharp suit manifested through illusion, into the office.

"Currently, there are 3,721 complaint tickets backlogged in the system."

"The core demands are mainly two: first, 'Why did I get "Thank you for your patronage" all one hundred times?'; second, 'Requesting a refund and compensation for mental distress'."

"This is your master console, which can connect directly to the 'Karma Suggestion Box' outside the Heavenly Gate."

The Haotian Celestial Emperor sat in the large leather executive chair, his fingertips brushing the soft leather.

This touch, while not as good as his Nine-Dragon Aloeswood Throne, was ten thousand times better than a cold oil drum.

He straightened the tie he had never worn before and picked up the solid gold microphone-shaped Magical Artifact. A long-lost feeling of being in control of everything returned to his body.

"Connect them."

Buzz—!

The central formation glowed brilliantly.

A thunderous roar echoed through the entire hall.

"Hello?! You damn Tianhe Group! I want to complain! I want to report you!"

"I am the Barefoot Immortal! I traded the Ten-thousand-year Lingzhi I've kept for three thousand years for blind boxes! All ten draws were 'Thank you for your patronage'! Where is your conscience?"

"This is a scam! Rigged! Get your boss out here! Otherwise, I'll lead people to smash your Heavenly Gate today!"

Listening to this familiar loud voice, the Haotian Celestial Emperor's lips slowly curled into a grim sneer.

Barefoot Immortal?

That gambling addict who hadn't attended court for three hundred years, claiming illness every time, only to end up here obsessed with drawing cards?

He cleared his throat and picked up the microphone.

In the next moment, his voice changed.

It was a voice devoid of any emotion, yet it contained Supreme heavenly might, capable of directly crushing an Immortal's Dao Heart.

"Barefoot."

Just two words.

The other end of the line went instantly silent.

The energy fluctuations of the entire sound-transmission formation became violently turbulent.

After three full breaths, a trembling voice filled with extreme terror and disbelief came through.

"Your... Your... Your Majesty?!"

"Presumptuous!"

The Haotian Celestial Emperor let out a furious shout. His majestic imperial pressure seemed to take physical form, crossing billions of miles of time and space to strike hard against the Barefoot Immortal's Immortal Soul!

A loud "thump" came from the other end, as if someone had directly knelt down.

"I... this Director is investigating the Great Dao of the Mortal World in this Realm. How dare you make such a racket here and disturb my Dao Heart?"

"All ten draws were dirt?"

"That's because your heart isn't sincere! Your Luck is poor! It's the Heavenly Dao testing your Dao Heart!"

"As a Great Immortal, you actually felt resentment over mere external possessions. It seems your tens of thousands of years of Dao have all gone to the dogs!"

"Go back and reflect for three hundred years! If you dare to harass customer service again, this Director will ban your IP!"

Snap!

The Haotian Celestial Emperor hung up the communication cleanly.

Refreshing!

It was so damn refreshing!

This feeling was even more refreshing than sitting in the Lingxiao Treasure Hall listening to those old fogies bicker for a thousand years!

Beside him, the Former Inspector of the Heavenly Secret Pavilion and several clerks responsible for recording were completely petrified.

Is this... professionalism?

Using imperial majesty to handle consumer complaints?

Dimensional reduction strike! This was a dimensional reduction strike in the literal sense!

"Next!"

The Haotian Celestial Emperor leaned back in the executive chair with high spirits, crossing his legs on the desk.

"This Director wants to see who else is blind enough to dare ask for a refund today!"

...

On this day.

The various "Immortal Rights Protection Groups" in the Immortal Realm completely exploded.

"Brothers! Something big has happened! The customer service for Tianhe Group... is Your Majesty!"

"Don't spread rumors! How noble is Your Majesty, how could he..."

"It's true! I just called to complain and was scolded senseless! That tone, that majesty, and he even mentioned the dark history of me getting drunk and dancing around a pillar at the Peach Banquet eight thousand years ago... Who else would know that but His Majesty?!"

"I was scolded too! He even said if I dared to cause trouble again, he'd write me into a Lower Realm storybook so I'd be infamous for eternity!"

"Hiss—could it be that this is a shocking game of chess His Majesty is playing in the Lower Realm?!"

"Definitely! His Majesty is using blind boxes to test our loyalty and Dao Heart!"

"Then... these blind boxes..."

"Draw! Even if we have to sell everything, we must draw! This is no longer ordinary consumption; this is the 'loyalty tax' paid to His Majesty! Not drawing is disloyalty!"

Thus.

A consumer rights storm that could have shaken the Foundation of the Heavenly Court not only vanished under the Haotian Celestial Emperor's "imperial-level iron-fist public relations."

Instead, it evolved into a vigorous craze of spending money, with everyone competing to see who was more loyal.

...

Second floor of the Scripture Pavilion.

Li Mo comfortably watched the revenue data skyrocketing in the backend, along with the customer satisfaction column, which was a solid "100% (Daren't be dissatisfied)".

He couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"The right person for the right job, making the most of one's talent."

"This is the Supreme Realm of 'it takes a villain to grind a villain'."

"Cousin, aren't you afraid he'll rebel after recovering his strength?" Chu Linger brought over a cup of spiritual tea, her face filled with worry.

"Rebel?"

Li Mo pointed out the window.

From here, one could just see the Haotian Celestial Emperor in the customer service center, standing on a desk, roaring into the golden microphone, scolding with spit flying and a flushed, glowing face.

"Look at him now, so immersed in his work and enjoying himself."

"Do you think he still misses that lifeless Heavenly Court where he had to maintain a facade for every word and couldn't even scold people properly?"

Li Mo's smile became meaningful.

"The harder he scolds, the more those people in the Heavenly Court will fear, and the more they will send resources and wealth to us to 'show their loyalty'."

"By the time they are completely squeezed dry..."

"The Foundation of our 'New World' will be just about ready.""}],