79: Chapter 79 Dissociation
The delegation has left.
Li Ming watched the giant ship depart, then looked back at Fujian observing from the shadows and waved to her.
Fujian emerged from behind the lighthouse, seemingly surprised by Li Ming's powers of observation.
Li Ming didn't explain much; after all, her clumsy camouflage skills were somewhat unsightly—despite her teaching him so much, he hadn't used any of it at all.
Could it be that the saying "a girl in love has zero IQ" is actually true?
He quickly dismissed the thought. Fujian occasionally acted foolishly, but she never faltered in important matters; this was normal.
"Commander..." she began, but she couldn't say the rest.
But Li Ming seemed to smell a hint of sourness. Ah, so she was jealous.
Thinking about it, he hadn't really communicated with her much over the past two months. He spent his days busy playing games, accompanying the Destroyers, or being with A6.
Hu Jian was truly working hard all by herself without complaint.
"Want to take a walk? Just the two of us..."
"Okay..."
He didn't want to talk about official business, but Li Ming suddenly realized there didn't seem to be much else to talk about.
The words he truly wanted to say were stuck in his throat, unable to come out.
In the end, Li Ming found a topic, though it inevitably touched upon official matters.
"What did Zhenli tell you?" He reached out his hand.
Fujian hesitated for a moment, then gently took his hand as the two of them slowly walked back.
"...It was your physical and mental health report."
"Oh? What did she say?"
Well, as expected. Li Ming more or less knew he probably had some issues, but...
If he collapsed, what would they do?
"Your heart is in a state of persistent exhaustion, and your physical condition..."
"What's wrong with my body?"
"On the verge of collapse, because you've overexerted yourself physically, been in a state of tension for a long time, and lack rest." Fujian paused for a moment. "Also, your psychological exhaustion has exacerbated your physical damage."
"I see." No wonder her expression was so serious when she examined me.
Fujian remained silent; from the corner of his eye, Li Ming could see her complex and pained expression.
He squeezed her hand to distract her thoughts.
Crossing the steps of the pier, the two entered the office area.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Li Ming was speechless. He thought for a moment before speaking, "I thought I could do it, I wanted to do it, that's all."
"You're lying."
"...Yeah."
"Why?"
"...No reason."
"Can't you even tell me, or everyone else?"
"...Just as you hide many things from me, I also have things I don't want to say."
Fujian froze in place, gripping his hand tightly, afraid he would let go.
Zhenli's inference was correct; he probably never considered himself a member of this family, but rather a "tenant." Even if he was very attached to this place, he always felt he didn't belong here.
Burning himself out just so he could stay.
And the one constantly raising this "rent" was herself, who thought she was nurturing him.
But...
"Commander... I hope you can take more care of your own feelings."
Yet she couldn't express her concern directly.
"I understand."
"I don't want you to 'understand'! You know that's not what I need..."
He finally turned his head to look at her, but shifted his gaze away shortly after.
"I know."
"I beg of you! Don't be like this anymore..." Fujian moved closer, clutching his hand tightly. "Don't suddenly leave me again, don't leave me alone..."
"Eh?"
She seemed to be having a breakdown, Li Ming thought.
Looking back at her, she was gritting her teeth. The wind blew through her hair, allowing Li Ming to see her other eye.
But without a doubt, both eyes were filled with fear and bewilderment, like a child who suddenly learned they were being abandoned.
Unfortunately, he was particularly susceptible to this and had no idea how to handle it.
"Hu Jian, don't be like this..." Li Ming felt the pain from his tightly gripped hand, but he couldn't care about that right now. "I can take care of myself."
"Liar!"
Li Ming's words were swallowed back down, his expression blank.
"You always say you can take care of yourself, but when I came back, where did you go?!"
Her voice trembled. "Why leave me alone to face all of this? I... I was clearly still waiting for you..."
Is it the me from another world, or a "predecessor"? Li Ming thought, yet he didn't seem that flustered anymore.
"I know, I think I've always known, but I hate people like you who like to carry everything alone without saying anything!"
So... she sees the shadow of someone else in me?
"But I just can't leave you... I don't want to be anyone special, I just want to follow you anywhere... but you've never taken me with you!"
She panted, appearing somewhat frantic, but Li Ming couldn't react.
"...Sorry, let me catch my breath."
She let go of Li Ming's hand and fled.
Li Ming raised his hand, which throbbed with pain from the grip, but he lost the desire to chase after her.
How strange. At a time like this, he should be going to help her resolve her emotions.
"Commander!"
Z23 rushed out from a corner, gently taking his aching hand in hers. "Are you alright?"
"Did you watch the whole thing?" Unexpectedly, Li Ming didn't answer her question directly but asked calmly.
Z23 nodded, but instinctively sensed something was wrong. "Commander...?"
"Don't worry, I'm fine. It's just a few more problems, that's all." Li Ming forced a smile, but it was so distorted. His other hand patted Z23's head. "Z23, I have a question."
"Please, go ahead?" The sense of unease became increasingly apparent.
"What would you do if I actually wasn't your Commander?"
Z23's pupils shrank, her whole body shuddered, and she felt cold sweat break out on her back. "What are you talking about!"
We confirmed this a long time ago, didn't we... "Miss Fujian must just be too scared..."
"I understand..." Li Ming suddenly snapped out of it, showing a look of regret. "Sorry, Z23, I... I lost my composure a bit. I'm okay."
"Commander..."
Z23 saw his hollow gaze, which reflected no warmth even in the sunlight.
"Let me have some peace... As for Fujian..."
Li Ming gently pulled his hand away and turned toward the office building.
"Everyone should just act as if nothing happened. No matter what, I am your Commander, am I not?"
...
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