130: 12th

Jiang Zhiyu's words, "Let me discuss the details with the production team," still lingered in the air, while a subtle, slightly schadenfreude-filled silence permeated one corner of the market.

Sakura could not stop her shoulders from shaking, Jang Wonyoung was holding back her laughter so hard the water bottle on her head wobbled, and Kim Minju maintained a facade of obedience while being on the verge of cracking up inside.

Even the three plushies seemed to sense that the "Director's" aura was a bit unstable, standing there dumbly, even their yarn balls and "woo-woo" sounds coming to a halt.

Watching the increasingly obvious "let's watch you make a fool of yourself" glint in the eyes of these three girls, Jiang Zhiyu felt his "variety show soul" and his determination "not to be looked down upon" flare up instantly.

He, Jiang Zhiyu, had dominated (and stirred up) the variety show world; how could he be outmaneuvered by a "Star Envoy" he had created himself? Especially by a "Balanced Arbitrator" like Kim Minju, who usually kept a low profile but would actually "backstab" the Producer Jiang Zhi Yu at a critical moment!

"Those wretched girls..." Jiang Zhiyu muttered to himself, but his face quickly resumed that signature smile, one that was slightly inscrutable and suggested that "everything is still under my control."

His hand, hidden behind his back, quietly signaled a few gestures to a nearby program assistant.

The assistant understood, immediately jogging away, and before long, returned with several staff members carrying some... baffling items.

A somewhat old, brown wooden office desk that looked like it had been discarded from an office was placed in the open space between the rice cake ball stall and the plushies.

A swivel office chair (with slightly stuck wheels) was placed behind the desk.

On the desk sat a small wooden gavel (like a children's toy), a plastic megaphone (the kind found at night market stalls), and... a round, shiny purple cabbage, which had been solemnly placed on a plastic plate right in the center of the desk.

Meanwhile, other staff members quickly drew three side-by-side circles on the ground in front of the desk with chalk, representing the "defendants' stand" or "trial dock."

Then, without giving them a choice, they half-pushed, half-invited (actually forced) Sakura, Jang Wonyoung, and the three plushies who still had not grasped the situation (Kitty and two Golden Retrievers) to be "arranged" into the chalk circles.

The water bottle on Jang Wonyoung's head still stood precariously, Kitty was still clutching its yarn ball, and the Golden Retrievers looked at each other in confusion.

"Ahem!" Jiang Zhiyu cleared his throat, picked up the plastic megaphone, and tested the sound; the screeching feedback made everyone frown.

He nodded with satisfaction, then, in a tone mimicking a court clerk announcing a verdict—solemn (and ridiculous)—he said loudly:

"Order! Order! The 'Market Star Special Tribunal' is now—in session!"

He reached out and pointed at Kim Minju, who was still standing to the side of the desk, looking a bit dazed.

"In view of the fact that 'Libra Star Envoy · Balanced Arbitrator' Kim Minju-xi just exercised the 'Just Verdict' power, but given the complexity of the scene and the need to clarify the motives and nature of the involved parties (referring to the plushies, Sakura, and Jang Wonyoung), this court—which is to say, I, Producer Jiang Zhi Yu, acting as both the Chief Planner and the temporary Chief Justice—rules that this case is officially upgraded to a public trial! The applicant for the ruling, Kim Minju-xi, shall serve as the presiding judge for this case!"

"What?" Kim Minju was truly bewildered now. Judge? Me? In this vegetable market? Facing a purple cabbage and a plastic megaphone?

"That's right!" Jiang Zhiyu, without waiting for a rebuttal, walked behind the desk and patted the swivel chair. "Judge Kim, please take your seat! Your 'sense of ritual' empowerment begins now!"

He signaled the staff with his eyes. Two staff members immediately stepped forward and "respectfully" guided (actually, they were propping up) the still-dazed Kim Minju, pressing her into the swivel chair.

The chair spun sharply due to the force, and Kim Minju let out a soft "Ah," hurriedly grabbing the desk to steady herself.

Jiang Zhiyu shoved the toy wooden gavel into her hand, then placed the plastic megaphone in front of her, and finally, solemnly pointed to the purple cabbage in the center of the desk:

"Judge Kim, behold! This is the... er... sacred fruit and vegetable symbolizing justice and peace! During the trial, please be sure to gaze at it at all times and feel the power of 'balance' contained within it!"

Kim Minju looked at the fresh, crisp purple cabbage in front of her—which no matter how she looked at it, was just the kind of thing her mom would use to make a salad that night—and then looked up at Jiang Zhiyu's "I am very serious" expression, and finally could not hold it in any longer:

"Producer Jiang! Wait a minute! The symbol of justice and peace... should be an olive branch!" She pointed at the purple cabbage, her voice rising an octave due to the absurdity, "Why are you giving me a purple cabbage?!"

Does this thing have even a shred of connection to "sacred" or "justice"?! And why a purple cabbage? There are so many vegetables in the market, why specifically this one?! Kim Minju felt her "Balanced Arbitrator" rationality being completely shattered by this purple cabbage.

Upon hearing this, Jiang Zhiyu blinked, his face breaking into that "you just do not get it" smile, full of tolerance (and nonsense). He wagged his finger and said in a matter-of-fact tone:

"Minju, you need to open up your perspective. Olives, cabbages, are they not both green (although this one is purple)... er, are they not both plants? Both represent nature's bounty and the harmony of life. In a place as vibrant as a market, is using a locally sourced purple cabbage to symbolize 'justice' not more approachable and down-to-earth? Besides,"

He lowered his voice, as if sharing a secret, "Olive branches are so hard to find. Purple cabbage? That stall over there has them for five yuan each, ready to go! This is called—the cost-effectiveness and flexibility of variety shows!"

"That is way too different!!" Kim Minju was almost going crazy, her hand holding the toy gavel shaking. This was no longer a matter of embarrassment; it was an insult to her common sense and logic!

"Pfft, hahaha!" Sakura, standing in the chalk circle, finally could not hold it in anymore and burst into laughter, wiping away tears as she laughed, "Minju! Just give in! Judge Purple Cabbage! Hahahaha!"

Jang Wonyoung wanted to laugh too, but every time she moved her head, the water bottle wobbled, so she could only press her lips together tightly, her shoulders heaving, while the bottle on her head made a rhythmic "tap-tap" sound, as if keeping time for this farce.

Even the two Golden Retriever plushies seemed to understand the word "purple cabbage," their giant dog heads turning curiously toward the purple sphere on the desk, their throats emitting confused "grumble" sounds. The Kitty plush, meanwhile, remained clutching its yarn ball, as if the judge and the purple cabbage had nothing to do with it.

Kim Minju looked at the laughing Sakura, looked at the suppressing-laughter Jang Wonyoung, and then looked at the absurd purple cabbage in front of her and the "I make perfect sense" Jiang Zhiyu, and a surge of nameless anger (and a great sense of the ridiculous) rushed to her head. No! She could not just be led by the nose by Producer Jiang Zhi Yu! Even if she had to be this ridiculous judge, she had to make her own voice heard!

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down, then picked up the plastic megaphone (holding it a bit further from her mouth in disgust), cleared her throat, and tried to regain a bit of "judge" dignity. She looked at Jiang Zhiyu and said through the megaphone:

"Since that is the case... this judge... accepts this... 'sacred fruit and vegetable'." She said it extremely reluctantly, "However, regarding the 'Olive-Cabbage Equivalence Theory,' this judge holds an objection! This seriously affects the solemnity of this court and the authoritative basis of its rulings!"

She tried to pull the topic back to the "right track," even if that track was inherently crooked.

Unexpectedly, as soon as she finished speaking, Sakura's eyes lit up, as if she had found the perfect entry point and an opportunity to get back at Jiang Zhiyu! Mimicking the style of the legal dramas she had watched, she suddenly raised one hand (the other hand was still clutching her stomach, which ached from laughing) and shouted toward "Judge Purple Cabbage" Kim Minju, in a clear, loud, and highly performative voice:

"Objection!!"

After shouting, she glanced triumphantly at Jiang Zhiyu, her eyes saying: See, I can do it too!

Although Jang Wonyoung did not fully grasp the specific absurdity of the "Olive-Cabbage Theory," she saw that Unnie Sakura had shouted and was "opening fire" on Producer Jiang Zhi Yu. How could she miss such an opportunity to "rebel" against Producer Jiang Zhi Yu along with her Unnie? So, she immediately stiffened her neck (carefully keeping her head still) and followed suit, shouting with the loudest voice she could muster (considering her chin was strapped down):

"Objection!!"

The sound, muffled by the yarn headgear and the chin strap, sounded a bit stifled, but it was full of determination (and the desire to join in the fun).

The two "defendants" suddenly raising an "objection" to the "definition of the court's symbol" made the scene even more chaotic and hilarious.

Jiang Zhiyu raised an eyebrow, watching the three girls who had suddenly "united" to resist his "Purple Cabbage Orthodoxy." Far from being annoyed, he found it even more interesting. Crossing his arms, he strolled leisurely to the front of the "defendants' stand," looked at Sakura and Jang Wonyoung, and then turned to Kim Minju, who was sitting in the judge's seat holding the purple cabbage (mistakenly) and the megaphone, and said loudly in an unquestionable tone, as if delivering a final verdict:

"Overruled!"

"This Chief Justice—which is to say, me—holds the final right of interpretation regarding 'court symbols'! The purple cabbage, at this moment, in this place, in this court, is the supreme and unquestionable symbol of justice and peace! The 'Olive-Cabbage Equivalence Theory' is upheld!"

He waved his hand grandly, as if enacting a law.

"Judge Kim, please proceed with the trial of the 'Star Demons Claws disturbing the trial' and the 'Saintess of Sakura failed rescue' case based on this 'consensus'! Do not be distracted by irrelevant 'objections'!"

Kim Minju held the megaphone, looking at the purple cabbage that had been forcibly "crowned" by Jiang Zhiyu, then looked at Jiang Zhiyu, who had an expression of "what are you going to do about it," and then looked at Sakura and Jang Wonyoung, who were a bit pouting yet amused because their "objection" had been "overruled"...

She suddenly felt that trying to reason with Jiang Zhiyu was, in itself, the most unreasonable thing of all.

Forget it.

She picked up the toy wooden gavel, hesitated for a moment, and then, mimicking the appearance of a judge on TV, tapped the purple cabbage lightly and symbolically.

"Thump." A faint, unimposing, muffled sound.

"So..." Kim Minju said through the plastic megaphone, her tone full of resignation and a sense of "might as well just go with it," "The 'Market Star Special Tribunal,' first trial, is now in session. First, summon... 'Defendant' No. 1, the Hello Kitty plush, to state why you used a yarn ball to disrupt market traffic and your motives for surrounding 'Star Spring Guide' Jang Wonyoung..."

Her voice, filtered through the cheap megaphone, sounded somewhat ridiculous amidst the clamor of the market, but it also strangely carried a sense of "professionalism" as she began to integrate into this absurd drama.

And the purple cabbage lay quietly on the plate, shimmering with a deep purple luster in the sunlight, as if it were truly witnessing this unprecedented grand market trial involving plushies, water bottles, rice cake balls, and "justice."