302: Chapter 282 The Midnight Mantis Squad Reports!

After the "midnight fierce roach" squad was formed (though the members were full of complaints internally), Yeri quickly entered a "combat-ready state," or rather, a state of being an "executor of Jiang Zhiyu's variety show scripts."

Like a busy little hamster, she started rummaging through the living room and storage room, muttering to herself: "Weapons! We need weapons! To deal with a formidable enemy like a 'midnight fierce roach,' we can't go into battle empty-handed!"

"Yeri-ah, isn't that a bit much..." Wendy tried to stop her, but Yeri had already rushed back with an armful of "equipment."

"Come, come, come, one for each person—no, two! Both offense and defense!" Yeri didn't give them a choice and started shoving things into everyone's hands.

Wendy looked at the transparent pot lid that had been forcibly shoved into her hand, and the small pink plastic bowl (with cheap fake diamonds studded along the edge) that had been placed on her head, her face full of confusion and resistance. "Yeri, what is the point of you giving me this...?" She lifted the pot lid to inspect it against the light, unable to laugh or cry. "Are we going to use a pot lid to cover a roach to death? And this bowl..." She tried to take the small plastic bowl off, but Yeri had such a serious expression, as if to say, "This is important protective gear," that she had to give up.

Joy's treatment was even more "peculiar." She stared blankly at the thick, bright green, slightly earthy-smelling green onion in her hand. "Aish! Yeri-ah!" Joy couldn't help but curse, waving the green onion so hard the leaves slapped loudly. "What is the meaning of this? You want me to poke a roach with a green onion? Or are you..." She narrowed her eyes, speaking in a tone that suggested she had seen through the truth. "Are you planning to turn me into a Joy version of the 'Pokémon Farfetch'd'?!"

Her words were meant to be a complaint born of frustration, but she hadn't expected to hit the nail on the head.

Behind the console, Jiang Zhiyu's eyes lit up instantly when he heard the words "Farfetch'd." He immediately turned his head and whispered a few words to the assistant beside him. The assistant understood immediately, skillfully pulling up the high-definition screenshot of Joy holding the green onion with a look of despair, his fingers moving rapidly across the tablet. A few seconds later, a finely edited photo was born: Joy's head was seamlessly attached to the body of a cute, goofy "Farfetch'd," the green onion in her hand glowing with "divine light," with artistic text next to it reading "Green Onion Swordsman · Joy." The assistant stifled a laugh and sent the image to Jiang Zhiyu. Jiang Zhiyu glanced at it, nodded with satisfaction, and signaled him to save it for future promotional use.

On the other side, Kang Seulgi received... a plastic broom. She gripped the broom handle tightly with both hands, her body slightly hunched, looking around with terrified eyes. Her posture didn't look like she was going to eliminate a roach; it looked more like a timid wizard holding a magic wand, ready to run away at any moment, while unconsciously muttering, "Can't see me, can't see me..."

As for the leader Bae Joo-hyun, she fell completely silent as she looked at the items Yeri had solemnly placed in her two hands.

They were two long, bright-colored Cheongyang chili peppers that clearly packed quite a bit of heat.

She weighed the "weapons" in her hand, looked up, and stared straight at Yeri with those cool, clear eyes. Her tone was calm and waveless, yet carried a soul-piercing power of complaint: "Yeri-ah, are you... planning to spice the roach to death with capsaicin? Or are you wanting me to perform 'Double Chili Roach Fighter'?"

"Pfft—!" Wendy couldn't help it and burst out laughing, quickly using the pot lid to cover her face.

Joy also forgot the humiliation of the green onion and laughed until she bent over, the green onion almost poking Kang Seulgi.

Kang Seulgi blinked blankly, looked at the chili peppers in her Unnie's hand, then looked at her own broom, and whispered: "Spice... spice to death? That seems... plausible too?"

Yeri was now fully armed—she had dug out from somewhere a slightly ostentatious sequined birthday crown that one of the members had worn on their birthday last year (it was still a bit crooked) and solemnly placed it on her head. In her hand, she tightly gripped a stainless steel long-handled soup spoon, the surface of which shimmered under the light. She struck a pose she thought was very cool, pointed the soup spoon toward the kitchen, and wore an expression of "heavy responsibility on her shoulders":

"Unnies! Don't be picky about weapons! In extraordinary times, we must utilize all available resources around us! This is the... uh, no, this is our Red Velvet spirit of 'making do with what we have and adapting flexibly'! After all, this is all we have in the dorm! The pot lid can defend, the green onion can thrust, the broom can sweep, and the chili peppers... the chili peppers can ward off evil! Yes! Ward off evil!" The more she spoke, the more reasonable it sounded, and she even convinced herself.

Everyone: "..."

Looking at the absurd "weapons" in each other's hands, as well as the inexplicable "equipment" on their heads and bodies (Wendy's plastic bowl, Yeri's crown), paired with their originally stylish and beautiful casual clothes, the entire scene was filled with extreme dissonance and comedic effect. So-called Red Velvet Art Troupe, so-called top girl group—at this moment, they were literally just a... roach-cleaning cosplay group about to perform some mysterious (and stupid) ritual.

The points on the secondary screen began to tick upward secretly. Everyone's "collapsed value" was rising because of these bizarre equipment and interactions, especially Bae Joo-hyun's expression of looking up at the sky in speechlessness while holding the two chili peppers, and Yeri's crooked logic, which contributed extremely high scores.

Bae Joo-hyun held her forehead and let out a long, helpless sigh. She knew that at this moment, they must look incredibly stupid on camera. But for some reason, in this absurd situation, the tension she usually felt in front of the camera had dissipated quite a bit. All that remained was helplessness at the maknae's antics, and a hint of a "we're already here, might as well go through with it" attitude of resignation.

"Forget it," she finally said, her voice carrying a resigned calmness. "Let's just do as Yeri says and go in and take a look. Be careful, don't actually get scared." The second half of the sentence was said while looking at Kang Seulgi.

"Yes, Captain!" Yeri responded immediately, raising the soup spoon. "The 'midnight fierce roach' squad, target kitchen, let's go!"

Thus, the most unprofessional "pest control squad" in history was born.

Wendy held the pot lid in front of her with one hand, the small plastic bowl on her head swaying gently with her movements, her expression vigilant yet helpless.

Joy had one hand on her hip, while the other hand held the green onion like a sword. Although she looked disgusted, her posture was actually somewhat dashing (if you ignored the fact that the weapon was a green onion).

Kang Seulgi gripped the broom tightly with both hands, following behind trembling, with the broom head pointing forward as if it weren't a broom but a mine detector.

Bae Joo-hyun walked in a relatively forward position, holding a Cheongyang chili pepper in each hand. Her posture didn't look like combat; it looked more like the starting move of some peculiar sacrificial dance, her face showing a forced calmness and a lingering sense of absurdity.

And the captain (self-proclaimed) Yeri, wearing a crooked sequined crown and holding a shiny soup spoon, led the way, providing her own sound effects: "Beep beep, no obstacles ahead... watch the corners!"

The five of them, wearing such "military gear," advanced slowly toward the kitchen where the "roach alert" had just been issued, in an extremely slow, cautious, and comically guarded manner.

Behind the console, Jiang Zhiyu was already laughing until his shoulders trembled. The assistant and several technicians were also having a hard time suppressing their laughter. On the monitor screen, the image of the five girls acting like they were facing a great enemy while equipped with ridiculous gear, combined with their serious expressions (except for Yeri, who was excited, and Seulgi, who was scared), produced an unparalleled variety show effect.

All the cameras were precisely capturing this absurd scene. The AI system was faithfully recording everyone's micro-expressions, body language, and interaction details; although the point notification sounds were muted, the points in the background were surely accumulating rapidly.

Jiang Zhiyu knew that this scene, from the "appearance of the roach" (truthfulness questionable) to the "squad formation," then to the "equipment reveal" and "comical advance," had already connected into a complete, interesting, and highly memorable "collapsed" event. This was ten thousand times more vivid and interesting than them sitting upright and trying to perform an "idol daily life."

He adjusted his sitting posture, watching the screen with great interest, looking forward to what would happen in the kitchen next. Whether it was a real "human-roach war," or discovering it was just a false alarm, or Yeri coming up with some new tricks, it was destined to be full of "comedic effect."

And at this moment, the Red Velvet members on the way to their "expedition" had equally rich inner thoughts:

Wendy (holding the pot lid): I have never been so speechless in my life... If this gets broadcast...

Joy (waving the green onion): Yeri, you just wait. Once the show is done filming, you're dead meat.

Kang Seulgi (gripping the broom): Please, please don't come out again... please...

Bae Joo-hyun (holding the two chili peppers): Jiang Zhiyu... I'm keeping a tally of this. And Kim Yeri...

Yeri (wearing the crown, waving the soup spoon): Charge! For the guest role! No, wait, for the peace of the Red Velvet dorm!

The "midnight fierce roach" operation had officially entered the most critical "battlefield reconnaissance and contact" stage. And the audience (future) and the director (present) were all waiting with bated breath.

— —

The "midnight fierce roach" squad moved at an extremely slow speed to the kitchen doorway.

Wendy and Joy, who were walking at the very front, had now become the first line of defense facing the "unknown fear."

Wendy held the transparent pot lid high with one hand, like a fragile shield, while her other hand unconsciously protected the ridiculous little plastic bowl on her head. Her body was slightly tilted forward, her eyes wide open, carefully scanning the shadows under the kitchen counter and in the corners. Joy followed closely behind; although she held the green onion with a look of disgust, she also tensed her nerves, her eyes sharp (if you ignored the weapon), the white part of the green onion thrusting forward as if ready to launch a "green onion strike" at any moment.

"Wh-why are the two of us at the front..." Wendy whispered, her voice carrying an imperceptible tremble. She was usually rational and calm, but when facing a creature that might be a roach, she still felt a bit fearful.

"It's all because that little traitor Yeri arranged it!" Joy was also gritting her teeth, but her footsteps didn't stop, and she bit the bullet and walked forward. "She's hiding in the back... Yah, Kim Yeri, you just wait for the next comeback!"

The two were almost shoulder-to-shoulder, leaning on each other, drawing a tiny bit of insignificant courage from one another. Wendy's pot lid even accidentally brushed against Joy's shoulder, and both of them shuddered at the same time.

Ding-dong! Wendy & Joy: Points +1 each! (Because of fear, they leaned on each other, showing a real reaction and teammate bond.)

Although the prompts on the secondary screen were muted, Wendy and Joy seemed to have a hunch and turned their heads at the same time to look in the direction of the scoreboard.

"Hey! Can you please not add points at a time like this?!" Wendy was caught between laughter and tears; the tension had been diluted a little by these sudden points.

"Exactly! Is this system just trying to stir up trouble?" Park Sooyoung also said indignantly, waving the green onion.

Just as their attention was distracted by the points—

"Whoosh—!"

A black shadow darted out from the gap under the cabinet at lightning speed! It was not crawling; it was in a low-altitude gliding posture, heading straight for Wendy's calf as she stood slightly in front!

"Aaaaaah—!!!" Wendy's scream shattered the silence of the kitchen. Without time to think, acting almost on instinct, she slammed her "shield"—a transparent pot lid—down hard!

"Bang!" A muffled sound. The pot lid clattered onto the clean floor tiles, but it was empty inside. The moment the black shadow approached, it made an extremely agile sharp turn, grazing the edge of the pot lid, and veered toward Park Sooyoung!

"Hey—!!!" Park Sooyoung's scream was even higher-pitched than Wendy's. Fear made her completely forget her disgust; she squeezed her eyes shut, gripped the green onion with both hands, and began hacking wildly in the direction where she sensed the shadow, as if wielding a samurai sword!

"Whoosh! Whoosh! Hah!" The green onion whistled through the air, tracing chaotic, patternless arcs.

"Park Sooyoung! Watch where you're aiming!!" Wendy had just dodged the pot lid (which she had slammed down herself), and before she could even feel relieved, she saw a bright green onion whistling toward her face. Terrified, she hurriedly raised the pot lid to block it, screaming at the same time.

"Smack!" The green onion leaves struck the transparent pot lid solidly, leaving behind a few drops of crystalline... onion juice? And a bit of dirt. Although Wendy was not hit in the face, she felt a wave of nausea from this sudden "friendly fire" and the smell of green onion right under her nose.

"I, I cannot control it! It, it is coming over!" Park Sooyoung still had her eyes closed, swinging even more vigorously, completely lost in a blind, frantic flailing.

At this moment, Kang Seulgi, who had been hiding in the back clutching a broom, let out an even more desperate and piercing scream: "It, it, it... it can fly! It flew up!!!" Her voice had gone completely out of tune.

As if to confirm her words, the black shadow (a medium-sized, shiny black, extremely agile bionic mechanical cockroach, though indistinguishable from a real cockroach in the eyes of the panicked group) dodged Park Sooyoung's "green onion blade storm." It kicked off the wall with its six legs, actually unfolding its nearly transparent wing covers. Emitting a faint "buzzing" sound, it traced a low arc through the air, heading straight for Kang Seulgi, who was frozen in place with terror!

"Aah—!!!" Kang Seulgi was terrified out of her wits. No longer caring about her "magician" image, she held the broom horizontally in front of her, closed her eyes, and began sweeping wildly in place, as if driving away invisible demons. "Go away! Go away!"

With this, the already cramped kitchen doorway turned into complete chaos!

Wendy raised the pot lid to protect herself and the Park Sooyoung next to her, while also trying to dodge Park Sooyoung's indiscriminate green onion attacks and the potentially flying "roach." Park Sooyoung, eyes closed, swung the green onion frantically, shouting "Do not come over," effectively becoming a walking, human-sized green onion weapon. Kang Seulgi's "broom cyclone" had an even wider range, threatening not only the "flying roach" but everyone who came near her.

Bae Joo-hyun and Kim Yeri, who were walking slightly behind, also suffered the consequences.

Bae Joo-hyun had intended to step forward to control the situation, or at least pull out the terrified Kang Seulgi, but as soon as she took a step, she saw the "flying roach" make an agile turn and seem to head right toward her! Her pupils constricted, and almost as a reflex, she threw the two Cheongyang chili peppers in her hands like throwing darts!

"Take this!" (Although in her heart she was probably thinking, "Stay away from me!")

The two chili peppers traced parabolas in the air; one fell into the sink, and the other hit the refrigerator door before bouncing onto the floor. Obviously, this posed no threat to the mechanical cockroach and might have even angered it (if it had emotions)? It wove through the air even more agilely, triggering a chorus of screams.

Kim Yeri was holding a soup spoon and had initially wanted to "command the battle," but seeing this completely out-of-control scene, especially with the "flying roach" appearing and disappearing, she was scared stiff, her crown even tilting to one side: "Hey! How can it fly?! It was not in the script!" (Did she subconsciously blurt out the truth?)

"Kim Yeri! Is this your doing?!" Park Sooyoung roared while taking a break from swinging the green onion wildly.

"It is not me! Really! I did not know it could fly either!" Kim Yeri scrambled away, hiding behind Bae Joo-hyun, with only half her head and the shiny soup spoon visible.

Bae Joo-hyun stumbled as Kim Yeri bumped into her. Looking at the chaotic scene before her—weapons (pot lids, green onions, brooms, chili peppers) flying everywhere, members screaming—she felt her blood pressure skyrocket and her vision blur. Any image of a goddess or the dignity of a leader had vanished into thin air. She even saw a slipper (who knows whose it was, kicked off in the panic) roll past her feet.

"Enough!" She raised her voice, trying to restore order, but her voice was drowned out by the chorus of screams and crashing sounds.

And that mechanical cockroach, as if possessing intelligence, wove precisely between the various "weapons" and limbs, sometimes crawling, sometimes flying short distances, successfully turning the five Red Velvet members upside down without actually touching any of them (except perhaps being brushed by a green onion leaf).

Finally, when Kang Seulgi screamed again and swung her broom, nearly hitting Wendy's pot lid, and Park Sooyoung's green onion nearly poked Bae Joo-hyun—

"Run!!!"

Someone shouted.

As if a switch had been flipped, the five people who had been trying to "resist" or "control the situation" instantly abandoned all formations and weapons, let out a series of terrified screams, turned around, and fled toward the living room!

Wendy dropped the pot lid (the plastic bowl was still stubbornly stuck to her head), Park Sooyoung threw away the green onion (like tossing a hot potato), Kang Seulgi's broom slipped from her hands, Bae Joo-hyun did not bother to pick up the two chili peppers that had heroically sacrificed themselves, and Kim Yeri did not even want her soup spoon or crown...

The five of them, moving at the fastest speed of their lives, screaming and shoving each other ("Do not block the way!" "Run, Unnie!"), scattered like a flock of startled birds. They instantly fled the kitchen entrance and rushed back to the relatively "safe" living room area, each looking for cover—behind the sofa, under the coffee table, or even trying to squeeze into the rooms.

At the kitchen entrance, only a mess remained: the crooked pot lid, the lonely green onion, the broom lying on its side, the scattered chili peppers, the shiny soup spoon, and that pitiful sequined crown.

And that mechanical cockroach, which had triggered this "midnight fierce roach" rout, crawled slowly (as if carrying a programmed mockery) back into the gap under the cabinet after everyone had fled. Its flashing micro LED indicator (invisible to the naked eye) quietly extinguished, and it entered standby mode.

Behind the monitor, Jiang Zhiyu and the entire TG team were already rolling with laughter.

Jiang Zhiyu wiped the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes while watching the frozen chaotic frames on the screen and the precious shots of everyone fleeing in panic with their facial expressions completely broken (especially Bae Joo-hyun's dazed and devastated look of "Who am I, where am I, what am I doing"), satisfied beyond measure.

On the secondary screen, everyone's points had skyrocketed during the "human-roach war" that lasted less than two minutes. Terror, chaos, friendly fire, screaming, abandoning armor and weapons, fleeing in a sorry state... every element was the perfect footnote to "the collapsed daily life."

"This is the 'daily life' I wanted to see." Jiang Zhiyu chuckled softly, his eyes shining with excitement. He signaled his assistant to quickly save all the highlight clips and screenshots, especially the continuous shots of Park Sooyoung swinging the green onion with her eyes closed, Wendy holding the pot lid to block the onion, Kang Seulgi's broom cyclone, Bae Joo-hyun throwing the chili peppers, and finally the whole group fleeing in a rout.

It is foreseeable that this "Red Velvet Dormitory Cockroach Extermination Battle (Attempted)" will become the first peak of laughter when the show airs in the future.

Meanwhile, the Red Velvet members, still shaken, hiding in various corners of the living room, panting, looking at each other, their faces still showing lingering terror and disarray, looked at each other's messy appearances and the "battlefield remnants" at the kitchen entrance, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.

"Is, is it over?" Kang Seulgi asked with a crying tone, poking half her head out from behind the sofa.

"Is that thing... still there?" Wendy steadied herself against the coffee table, still having lingering fears; the plastic bowl on her head finally slid off and fell to the ground.

Park Sooyoung slumped on the floor, looking in the direction where she had just thrown the green onion, and muttered: "My image... it is all over..."

Kim Yeri lay on the carpet, wanting to cry but having no tears: "My crown... my soup spoon... my cameo role..."

Bae Joo-hyun leaned against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor, covering her face with her hands, her shoulders slightly heaving, not knowing if she was feeling lingering fear or mourning for these absurd few minutes.

Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong...

On the leaderboard, behind each person's name, the scores quietly jumped a few times, drawing an ironic full stop to this farce.

Bae Joo-hyun saw her points rise again through her fingers, finally lowered her hands, and revealed a complex expression mixed with exhaustion, absurdity, shame, and a hint of resignation.

Jiang Zhiyu's voice came through the sound system again, carrying undisguised amusement:

"Everyone, the first operation of the 'midnight fierce roach' squad... although it ended in a strategic retreat, the performance was excellent! It was full of real... um, 'vitality.' Rest for five minutes, we will clean up the 'battlefield,' and then continue."

Red Velvet members: "..."

Continue? Still want to continue?!

Bae Joo-hyun raised her head and looked toward the control console; her gaze could no longer be described as "murderous intent"—it was simply the determination to take them down with her.

Jiang Zhiyu met her gaze, not only unafraid but instead raising his hand to give her a "V" sign, his smile incredibly bright.

Bae Joo-hyun closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

So. Annoying.