152: Chapter 151 Dance Costume

First, the 'Sweep Away Hunger, Be Yourself' phase.

A staff member pushed up a small cart filled with Snickers. The staff members playing the 'Star Envoys' immediately surrounded it. Each took a bar and 'ate' it ravenously with extremely exaggerated expressions, as if they had been starving for three days (actually just pretending to bite, as it was inconvenient to really eat while wearing protective gear and headpieces). After finishing, they all struck energetic, refreshed poses, vigorously waving their arms as if they had truly 'swept away hunger.'

Im Yoona: [...So the first step to saving a companion is a collective sugar intake? Can the product placement from the sponsor be any more forced?]

Next, the 'Restore Magic' phase.

Another small cart was pushed up, carrying various flavors of XX-brand juice. The staff members stepped forward again, picked up bottles, and 'heroically' 'drank' them (miming the action at the bottle's mouth), then wiped their mouths as if their bodies were shimmering with the light of 'magic recovery' (imagined).

Im Yoona: [Magic? Juice? This connection... Jiang Zhiyu, was your logic taught by aliens?]

Then, the 'Mid-journey Resupply and Sharing' phase.

On the way to the 'base camp' (which was actually just walking half a circle around the ring), the staff members 'accidentally' discovered a box of BB-brand roast duck (vacuum-packed samples). They gathered around in 'surprise' and 'shared' the roast duck (passing the packaging bags around), their faces brimming with 'happiness brought by gourmet food.'

Im Yoona: [...In the critical moment of saving a companion, they stop for a picnic to share roast duck? The logic of this script is completely dead, isn't it?]

Finally, they arrived at the 'Star Demon Claws' Base Camp'—a 'cave' made of black curtains and more foam boards that looked like the entrance to a cheap haunted house.

'Purifying the Base Camp' phase.

Facing the 'evil and filthy' lair (which was actually quite clean), the heroic 'Star Envoys' did not choose a direct assault, but instead... took out ZZ-brand laundry pods, soap, laundry detergent, and other cleaning supplies!

They 'threw' the laundry pods into the 'cave' like grenades, took soap and brushes to 'scrub vigorously' against the foam board walls, and someone even picked up a bag of laundry detergent, making a 'scattering flowers' motion (actually carefully controlled baking soda for easy cleanup).

The entire 'purification' process was accompanied by 'sizzling' cleaning sound effects and the staff's shouts of 'Harder! Keep going! Get it clean!' The scene for a moment was very... housekeeping service promotional video.

Im Yoona was already too exhausted to complain. She just silently took off her sunglasses and rubbed her aching temples. She felt she wasn't watching a variety show rehearsal, but witnessing a massive, multi-brand, hardcore product placement TV shopping infomercial, and the actors' performances were exceptionally flamboyant.

The 'purification' action seemed to provoke the 'enemies' in the lair. With a burst of exaggerated smoke (dry ice) and 'roaring' sound effects, several staff members in doll costumes—smeared with chocolate sauce, flour, and colored pigments, looking filthy like personified 'Zang Zang Bao'—rushed 'menacingly' out of the 'cave'! These were the so-called 'civilians infected by the Star Demon'—the Zang Zang Bao Army!

The final battle begins!

The 'Star Envoys' and the 'Zang Zang Baos' engaged in 'fierce' combat (lightly tapping each other with soft foam sticks, their movements slow and comical).

Finally, led by 'Kwon Eunbi,' all the 'Star Envoys' stood in a row, faced the camera, and shouted in unison that cringeworthy line that echoed through the sky (the recording site):

"The Purifying Light of Love and Justice—twelve star envoys, Final Judgment!!"

Accompanied by another burst of dry ice smoke and flashing lights (simulated by camera flashes), the 'Zang Zang Baos' fell to the ground with 'tragic screams' (slowly lying down).

Deep within the 'cave,' the 'rescued' 'Choi Yena' (Jiang Zhiyu) walked out unsteadily, the duck headpiece tilted to one side, apron in disarray, but his face (visible through the headpiece eye holes) was brimming with the joy of 'being saved' (and the relief of finally finishing the performance).

"CUT—!!!" Jiang Zhiyu shouted himself, then yanked off the duck headpiece that was nearly suffocating him, revealing sweat-drenched hair and a face flushed from excitement (and oxygen deprivation). He panted heavily, but his eyes were startlingly bright as he ran to the monitor to watch the playback.

"How was it? How was the effect?" he eagerly asked the assistant director and other staff.

The staff members looked at each other with complex expressions. The effect... how to put it? Absurd, hilarious, advertisements flying everywhere, logic in pieces, acting flamboyant to the point of exploding... but based on their understanding of PD Jiang, this seemed to be exactly the 'effect' he was pursuing?

"PD... about that, the acting, is it a little..." A brave assistant writer cautiously tried to offer a suggestion.

"Acting?" Jiang Zhiyu waved his hand, completely unconcerned. "What we want is this kind of raw, tension-filled, slightly unpolished but emotionally full performance! Too much refinement would lose the sense of reality! Look, the terror and struggle when 'Choi Yena' was captured, 'Kwon Eunbi's' anxiety seeing her companion taken away, and everyone's unity when sharing the roast duck... how vivid! How natural!"

He pointed at his own distorted, flamboyant 'struggling' expression on the screen: "This is what variety sense is! It's the embodiment of breaking idol baggage and immersing oneself in the situation!"

Everyone: "..." (As long as you're happy.)

Im Yoona heard everything clearly. She put her sunglasses back on, hiding her eyes which no longer knew what expression to make.

Raw? Tension? Unpolished?

Jiang Zhiyu, do you have some misunderstanding about these words?

That acting of yours can no longer be described as 'unpolished'; it's catastrophic!

She was now one million percent certain that if IZ*ONE really followed this script, the day it aired would be the day their idol image completely collapsed (or was it a rebirth?).

Meanwhile, Jiang Zhiyu was still excitedly pointing at the playback screen: "Here, when the robot launches, the LED lights can flash more chaotically! Here, the shot of sharing roast duck needs a close-up, the packaging logo must be clear! And for the final move, there can be more smoke! Make the sound effects even more shocking!"

He seemed completely unaware that there was any problem with his 'performance' or this script, instead immersing himself in the feverish pursuit of perfecting the 'details.'

Im Yoona looked at his enthusiastic appearance, as if he were polishing a masterpiece for the ages, and then thought of the twelve members of IZ*ONE, who were still in the radio studio, knowing nothing about the upcoming 'Myeong-dong Hell,' perhaps even rejoicing at having temporarily escaped a disaster...

She let out a silent sigh.

Forget it.

For some things, it's better not to know.

For instance, the kids of IZ*ONE would probably never know that their beloved (?) PD Jiang had once so 'devotedly' and 'vividly' rehearsed the 'epic' rescue drama they were about to experience—a fusion of hunger marketing, juice commercials, roast duck sharing, housekeeping cleaning, and the Great Zang Zang Bao War.

And she, Im Yoona, as the sole (forced) audience of this absurd play, might need something stronger to soothe her shocked nerves and worldview.

She glanced at the completely cold Iced Americano in her hand, which had become numb even in its bitterness, and turned without hesitation toward the streets of Myeong-dong to find the nearest convenience store.

Today, she might need a bit of alcohol.

Even if it was just a small bottle of soju.

Jiang Zhiyu's world of 'creativity' was truly too stimulating.