175: Chapter 173

As soon as Jiang Zhiyu's "pre-battle mobilization" speech about "sacred astral power being attached to endorsed products" ended, the atmosphere on site was completely ignited. Below the stage, the audience was cheering and hooting with anticipation like a mountain tsunami. On stage, the eleven "Star Saints" faced a group of baring fangs and brandishing claws (clumsy version) puppet "Star Demons Claws," feeling a complex mix of absurdity, helplessness, and a stirred-up fighting spirit that said, "I can't actually lose to a puppet, can I?"

The battle (or rather, a massive absurd interactive show) was on the verge of breaking out!

The first to attack were those dim-colored, semi-transparent jelly-like "Soft Baby." They squirmed, making "puji puji" sounds, and "rolled" with a clear objective toward the edge of the ring—in the direction of Choi Yena's sausage cart. Although they weren't fast, there were many of them, and they looked a bit... clingy.

"Ah! They're coming for the sausages!" Choi Yena exclaimed behind the sausage cart, subconsciously lifting her sausage tongs, but facing a group of jellies, the tongs seemed useless.

Just then, the production team quickly handed Choi Yena a pair of exaggerated sunglasses with lenses shaped like wavy fishtails, along with a shiny headset also bearing a Pisces symbol. Simultaneously, a prompt board lit up: [Yena-xi! Please use IZ*ONE's new song "Stars Falling Like Rain" (tentative title) to boost morale! The song has been transmitted to the headset!]

Choi Yena hurriedly put on the sunglasses and headset, instantly transforming from a sausage vendor into a... somewhat trendy (and hilarious) DJ-slash-cheerleader. A melody she had never heard before, filled with electronic pulses and a strong rhythmic prelude, came through the headphones—it was the "battle song" Jiang Zhiyu had temporarily created based on the IZ*ONE style.

There was no time to think. The climax of the music and a simple yet powerful chorus segment flooded her mind. Choi Yena took a deep breath, ignored her shyness, grabbed a spare handheld megaphone (slightly more high-end than the previous one) next to the sausage cart, and followed the rhythm and lyrics in her headset, shouting with all her might toward her sisters on the ring (with a bit of a tune):

"Meteors streaking across—! Brilliant and colorful—! (Heavy drum beat)"

"Shadows chasing dreams—! Moving forward without looking back—!! (Pitch rising)"

"Sisters! Protect the sausages! Protect Yena (herself?)! Charge—!!!"

She shouted a bit out of tune, but that desperate energy and the comical look of a temporary DJ, combined with the stirring electronic sound effects leaking from the headset, actually served as a bit of a "morale boost!" At the very least, it snapped the somewhat dazed members on stage back to their senses.

The "Soft Baby" were already closing in.

"I'll do it!" Kwon Eunbi (leo) was the first to respond, having already shouldered that giant Lion King air hammer again. Looking at those squishy "Soft Baby" rolling over, a flash of inspiration hit her (or rather, she was inspired by her previous amusement park experience), and she shouted: "Watch this—Lion King Whack-A-Mole Hammer Technique!"

She rushed to the edge of the ring. Facing the first "Soft Baby," she didn't smash down hard (after all, they were props and staff members); instead, she raised the air hammer high and, with an exaggerated motion like a Whack-A-Mole game, "gently" smashed it onto the "top of the head" (the top of the jelly) of the "Soft Baby."

"Puji!" The Soft Baby cooperatively made an onomatopoeic sound, its entire jelly body being smashed down a bit flat, and then it spun around in place "dizzy and disoriented," temporarily stopping its advance.

"It's effective!" Kwon Eunbi's eyes lit up, and she immediately started swinging left and right, "thump-thump-thumping" the other "Soft Baby" that were swarming up. Her movements were swift and her momentum was full; it really did have the satisfaction of playing Whack-A-Mole. The audience below was doubled over with laughter.

Seeing this, the other members also took action. Although the opponents were puppets and jellies, their "battle" posture could not be lost! Furthermore, they had to use those endorsed products "attached with astral power!"

An Yujin (capricorn) didn't have a suitable "weapon," but she was quick-witted. She grabbed several bottles of sponsored sports drinks (Brand I) from nearby and, like throwing a bowling ball, rolled them toward the "Zang Zang Bao" puppets trying to circle around from the other side! The drink bottles hit the puppets' legs (gently), and the puppets cooperatively stumbled back.

Miyawaki Sakura (Sakura, virgo) looked at the candy apple in her hand and then at the "Golden Retriever" puppet holding a marshmallow (which was already starting to melt). She had a sudden idea. She struck the pose of the "Saintess of Sakura" (shaking the foam cherry blossoms on her shoulders) and recited in a cool voice: "Confusing Sakura, bloom!" Then she began to dance a segment of modern dance that was extremely slow, beautiful, but slightly eerie, looking at the Golden Retriever puppet with "bewitching" eyes.

The staff member inside that puppet seemed to get the point and cooperatively began to sway their head, acting "bewitched," even forgetting to wave the marshmallow in their hand.

Yabuki Nako (Nako, taurus) held her "height-increasing insoles" (?) and sponsored soap. After thinking for a moment, she placed the soap on the ground, then stepped on the height-increasing insoles (Height +1), striking a "taurus Guarding the Treasure" pose and "glaring" at a "Grey Wolf" puppet. Although it had no offensive power, the look was cute, drawing a wave of laughter.

Jang Wonyoung (aquarius) adjusted the "Star Spring Holy Crown" on her head, looked at the mineral water in her hand (same brand), and then at a "Zang Zang Bao" not far away. She took a deep breath, recalled the feeling of the dance just now, and suddenly threw the mineral water bottle like a dart (actually a gentle toss) toward that Zang Zang Bao, while chanting: "Star Spring's guidance, Purify!" The water bottle traced an arc, hit the Zang Zang Bao (gently), and then bounced off. Although it had no power, her movements were elegant and her expression serious.

Kang Hye-won (aries) directly picked up that bag of instant noodles, holding it like a shield in front of another "Soft Baby," muttering: "Blazing Shield! Instant Noodle Defense!" The Soft Baby hit the instant noodle packaging and bounced off softly.

The main vocal line duo, Kim Chaewon and Jo Yuri, looked at the juice and soap in their hands, then at the howling puppets opposite them. They exchanged a look, took a deep breath together, and then—

Opened their voices!

It wasn't singing, but rather emitting a rhythmic and melodic, meaningless vocal chant of "Ah~ Oh~ Yi~." The pitch went high and low, attempting to mimic a "sonic attack." Honestly, as expected of main vocals, this improvised "noise attack" was quite penetrating. Combined with the electronic battle song background music coming from Choi Yena's side, it actually caused the movements of several puppets near them to lag, as if they were "stunned."

"Now's the time!" Lee Chaeyeon (sagittarius) saw the opportunity and stepped forward. She didn't have an obvious "weapon," but she picked up an energy bar (Brand J) and, like holding a short stick, used a variant of locking movements—quick points and kicks—to "tap" the puppets affected by the "sonic waves." Her movements were cool and sharp. Hitomi (cancer) cooperated tacitly, using her precise body rhythms to interfere with the "sight" of other puppets (if puppets even had sight).

The scene instantly fell into a chaotic and hilarious "melee!"

The puppets clumsily "attacked" and were "repelled," while the girls used all sorts of inconceivable ways to "defend and counterattack." Kwon Eunbi's "Whack-A-Mole Hammer Technique" made thumping sounds; An Yujin's "Drink Bowling Ball" rolled back and forth; Sakura's "Bewitching Dance" and Nako's "taurus Guard" complemented each other; Jang Wonyoung's "Purification Toss" and Kang Hye-won's "Instant Noodle Shield" were slightly weak but earnest; Kim Chaewon and Jo Yuri's "Sonic Attack" combined with Lee Chaeyeon and Hitomi's "Energy Bar Short-strike" and dance interference actually created the effect of a combo skill.

The laughter, cheers, and chants of encouragement from the audience below almost never stopped. This wasn't a battle; it was clearly a massive, interactive, reality-show version of a comedy carnival! The endorsed products appeared in all sorts of unexpected ways; although it was forced, under this absurd background, it instead became part of the humor.

Wearing her fishtail sunglasses, Choi Yena swayed her body to the rhythm while continuing to shout improvised "battle song" lyrics through the megaphone, not forgetting to intersperse advertisements like "Protect the sausages! Buy sausages to support us!" She was busy and having the time of her life.

However, just as this chaotic and joyful "battle" had lasted for a few minutes, and the girls were starting to get a bit out of breath (mostly from laughing, shouting, and the fatigue of maintaining "battle" postures), and the puppets seemed to have suffered "heavy casualties" (falling over to play dead or spinning in place)—

A sudden change occurred!

Those "Soft Baby" that had been "dizzy and disoriented" by Kwon Eunbi's hammer, knocked over by drink bottles, or "stunned" by the vocals, suddenly stopped their respective comical movements.

The semi-transparent jelly bodies on them began to emit a faint, slimy luster, and then, as if receiving some kind of summons, they began to slowly squirm and converge toward a single point in the center of the ring!

At the same time, those few dim-colored "Zang Zang Bao" puppets, covered in "chocolate sauce" and "flour" (washable paint), also abandoned their "opponents" in front of them and wobbled together.

"What's going on?"

"They're... merging?"

The girls on stage stopped their actions, looking at this sudden change in surprise.

They watched as more and more "Soft Baby" gathered, their jelly-like bodies sticking and fusing together, their volume rapidly expanding! In just a dozen seconds, they formed a giant jelly aggregate over two meters in diameter, constantly squirming with a weird luster on its surface! It had no fixed shape, like a massive, semi-transparent slime monster, with what seemed to be bubbles rolling inside.

As for those "Zang Zang Bao" puppets, they stacked one on top of another. Finally, with the staff members inside cleverly cooperating to support them, they formed an even taller, twisted composite Zang Zang Bao Giant made of multiple puppet parts! Although it was still comical, the sense of pressure brought by its size was definitely there.

These two suddenly appearing "fused entities" were clearly more "intimidating" (visually) than the previous individuals.

After they formed, they "paused" slightly, as if locking onto a target.

Then, under everyone's astonished gaze, the Giant Jelly Aggregate and the Composite Zang Zang Bao Giant simultaneously turned their "direction"—

Their target was no longer the scattered girls, nor the ring itself.

Instead, it was that lonely sausage cart at the front side of the ring, and Choi Yena behind it, who was wearing fishtail sunglasses and watching all this with her mouth wide open!

"N-No good!" Kwon Eunbi was the first to react. "Their real target is Yena's sausage stall! No, it's Yena!"

"Yena! Get out of the way!" An Yujin shouted.

Jang Wonyoung also cried out: "Unnie! Watch out!"

Choi Yena herself was scared silly, the megaphone in her hand falling onto the sausage cart with a "clatter." She looked at those two giant "monsters" slowly moving toward her (at a faster speed than before), her mind going blank. The wheels of the sausage cart seemed to be locked? Run? Run where?

The Giant Jelly Aggregate squirmed forward, leaving a slippery trail (special effects?) wherever it passed. The Composite Zang Zang Bao Giant took heavy (and clumsy) steps, and the ground seemed to vibrate (sound effects).

The eleven girls wanted to rush over to the rescue, but they were a distance away from the sausage cart, with the edge of the ring and some obstacles in between. Furthermore, those two fused entities seemed to emit an invisible "force field" (imaginary), making their steps feel heavy (psychological effect).

"Yena—!!!" Kwon Eunbi shouted anxiously, trying to throw the air hammer in her hand, but it was too far.

Jiang Zhiyu, behind the monitors, also timely used the sound system to provide a tense (and sensational) narration: "Oh no! The ultimate fusion of the Star Demon Claws! Their target is indeed the Sausage Saintess Choi Yena! If she is lost, the sausage stall will fall, and the Star Saints' hope in the mortal realm will be completely shattered! Is it all over?!"

The audience below also held their breath. Although they knew it was for show, they still broke into a cold sweat for Choi Yena.

Choi Yena stood helplessly behind her sausage cart, looking at the approaching, massive, comical yet slightly eerie "enemies." Her little face turned pale with fright, and her sunglasses slid down to the tip of her nose.

Danger seemed to be on the verge of breaking out!