27: Chapter 27 Gugu Gaga

Advisor Cole placed a document on the coffee table. The cover was stamped with the emblem of the United States. The document was thin, but Maya did not reach for it immediately.

She looked at Advisor Cole in the mirror: "What mission?"

"Tomorrow morning at six o'clock, room service for the Ambassador of Guga Planet."

"He will spend his last night at the White House before heading to the United Nations Headquarters. Before that, we will create an undisturbed morning for you."

Advisor Cole's fingers tapped lightly on the document cover: "The kitchen at the Presidential Palace starts preparing breakfast at six every morning."

"The Ambassador of Guga Planet's room service has always been handled by a butler who has worked here for thirty years. But the butler has taken sick leave for tomorrow."

Maya's fingers curled slightly against the hem of her dark blue dress: "You need me to deliver breakfast."

"Not just deliver breakfast." Advisor Cole opened the document: "We need you to do everything in your power to stay by his side and relay information to us."

Maya shifted her gaze from Advisor Cole and looked down at the document on the coffee table: "Advisor Cole, I'm afraid I cannot accept this mission."

"I am not a spy. I am not an agent. I am not even a particularly outstanding police officer."

Maya held the document with both hands and handed it to Advisor Cole. "I just bought a burger for a homeless man whose stomach was growling in the interrogation room."

Advisor Cole did not take the document but instead bowed to Maya.

Maya's fingers froze on the document cover: "Advisor Cole?!"

"Officer Maya, how long do you think those fleets hovering at the edge of the Kuiper Belt will stay there?"

Maya was completely at a loss.

"They have stopped now because Chen Mu made them stop. But if Chen Mu decides to restart them, or worse, if their 'Emperor' or the Commander bypasses him and issues orders directly, then the survival time of our Blue Planet will start counting down from that moment."

"And now, Officer Maya, a portion of the fate of the eight billion people on this planet rests in your hands."

"Chen Mu knows your identity and knows you are not a professional agent, so you are the person most likely to make him reveal a flaw."

Advisor Cole straightened his back and looked at Maya: "Officer Maya, this is not an order, but a request. I am asking you as an old person who has lived on this planet for sixty-three years, as a mother of two children, and as a grandmother who doesn't know how to tell her grandchildren whether the sun will rise as usual tomorrow."

"Go to his side and bring back the answer. Not for the government, not for the military, but for the eight billion people on this planet who do not know if the sun will rise as usual tomorrow."

Looking into Advisor Cole's sincere eyes, all the words Maya wanted to say seemed to be blocked by a ball of cotton, unable to be spoken.

She suddenly remembered the oath she took when she first joined the police force.

"I swear on my honor that I will never betray my badge, my integrity, my character, and the public trust."

"I will always uphold courage and take responsibility for my actions and those of my companions. I will always defend the Constitution, the community, and the institution I serve."

Maya took a deep breath and took the document: "Advisor Cole, I cannot guarantee anything to you. I can only say that for the Blue Planet, I will do my best."

Advisor Cole saluted Maya: "That is enough, Officer Maya. On behalf of all humanity, I thank you for your sacrifice!"

Maya returned to the safe house, and Thompson asked anxiously: "Maya, what did you promise them?"

Maya did not answer. She picked up her phone and opened Twitter. Her follower count had already exceeded 1.97 million.

In her direct messages, there were people calling her a traitor to humanity, praising her as an angel who saved the world, marriage proposals, advertisements...

Maya did not open any of the direct messages: "They want me to deliver breakfast to Chen Mu tomorrow morning at six."

Thompson immediately cursed: "Are you crazy? They clearly..."

"I know!" Maya interrupted: "But for the Blue Planet, I have no choice!"

Thompson's lips moved, but in the end, he could only sigh softly.

He understood that when it came to the fate of humanity, their personal fates had to give way.

——————

Late at night, in the luxury suite, Chen Mu leaned against the headboard, the collar of his White House bathrobe slightly open.

He held his phone in front of him, and the number of Twitter followers on it was jumping up at a speed visible to the naked eye.

In the blink of an eye, it had jumped to over 31 million. Compared to that, the system's fear value points were also rising crazily because of that press conference, increasing by another 20 million in a short while.

[Current fear value: 80 million]

He opened the system shop. The 100 million price tag for the S-class mothership made him very envious.

But now, relying solely on Cosmic Illusion, the extracted fear value should have reached its limit. He had to come up with something new.

He closed the shop, looked at the phone screen again, and then posted the first tweet from this account.

[Ambassador of Guga Planet: The greeting of Guga Planet is pronounced "Gugu Gaga". You can translate it as hello or welcome.]

"Remember it. In the future, when you encounter our spacecraft, those who say this word will not be identified as a threat by us. Blue Planet, good night."]

After the tweet was sent, he put the phone on the nightstand, turned off the desk lamp, and thought about how he should give his speech at the upcoming United Nations General Assembly.

And Twitter began to burn after he fell asleep.

Wait. So aliens descended to Earth, opened a Twitter account, and the first tweet they sent was to teach us how to speak alien language, with the reason being "to save your life when you are ruled in the future"? Am I still dreaming?

"Gugu Gaga." I said it. Where do I claim the alien spacecraft? Waiting online, it's quite urgent.

Mr. Chen Mu, I taught my three children to say "Gugu Gaga". They asked me, "Mom, if we say this, won't we be taken away by aliens?" I said, "Mom doesn't know either."

Do not say it. Do not learn it. Do not plant his language in your throats. Language is the first line of defense for thought. When you learn to speak with the voice of the conqueror, your tongue has already knelt before your knees.

A planet with two million warships sent an envoy to teach us their language, with the reason being "to save your life when you are ruled in the future." And you people are lining up in the comments section to say "Gugu Gaga," like a group of trained seals. Is this the end of human civilization? Not gunfire, not a virus, but a tweet.

An alien wants us to learn to cluck like chickens in exchange for safety. This is not diplomacy; it is domestication. Texas never bows.

I once lost a leg on the battlefield, and now you want me to learn to cluck like a chicken? Come on, you alien scum, I'm waiting.

I suggest everyone learn the basic Guga Planet greeting. This is not surrender, but preparation for communication in a crisis. Multilingual ability is a survival skill.

"Gugu Gaga, Gugu Gaga," I shouted in the office, and HR called me in for a talk. I said it was religious freedom. They said aliens are not a protected belief. I said, "You just wait."

Trump: Mr. Ambassador taught us a very important greeting. I just practiced it three times. Gugu Gaga! No one has a more standard pronunciation than me!

But the top-liked reply in the comments section is: Mr. President, you just announced your position in an alien language. I guess this doesn't count as treason because there is no relevant law. But my god.

AOC: The President is following the alien Ambassador on Twitter to learn an alien language, while the emergency shelters in New York City are still crowded with homeless people. The army in Manhattan has not yet withdrawn. For those ordinary people who were fired due to panic, lost their savings due to the stock market crash, and couldn't sleep at night because of the approaching alien fleet, what they learned tonight is not "Gugu Gaga," but that the only thing their government can do when facing a civilization from hundreds of light-years away is to parrot them.

Gugu Gaga!!!