65: Chapter 65 The Era of Gugu Gaga

At the United Nations General Assembly, hearing this question, Chen Mu smiled and said:

"Tonight at a hotel near the White House, I'm holding a 'Ball Chief Inauguration Dinner'."

"Representatives and reporters from all countries wishing to join interstellar trade are welcome to attend."

As soon as he finished, countless hands in the hall shot up in competition.

Chen Mu turned sideways and pointed to Maya beside him: "Tickets are five thousand dollars each. After the meeting, please sign up with my personal assistant, Ms. Maya."

Having settled the ticket matter, Chen Mu took a deep breath; it was time for a perfect ending.

He suddenly raised his right arm high and shouted with all his might, his voice hoarse: "To celebrate the moment Blue Star steps into the universe!"

"Gugu Gaga!!!"

"Gugu Gaga!!!"

Below the stage, whether sincere or hypocritical, all representatives stood up and shouted along with him. The sound merged into a wave powerful enough to blow off the roof, echoing uniformly under the dome.

Even the bullet chats online started a wave of: [Gugu Gaga!!!]

Amidst the jubilation, the Secretary-General of the United Nations came running over eagerly, holding a sheet of pure white drawing paper and a marker, his voice cracking with excitement:

"Mr. Ball Chief! Please draw a national flag belonging to the Guga Civilization for our Blue Star Alliance! We want it to fly high on the flagpoles of the United Nations Headquarters alongside the flags of all Blue Star nations, forever commemorating this great day!"

Chen Mu took the paper and pen. Without hesitation, the tip of the pen fell, and with a few swift strokes, a pattern took shape.

The Secretary-General looked down and was stunned. It wasn't some stars or galaxy, nor some runic emblem, but an explosively cute chibi penguin girl.

A round body, shiny black skin, chubby penguin wings—and most absurdly, the penguin girl's eyes were both cool and moe, cold yet cute, giving off a sense of high-and-mighty majesty.

"Mr. Ball Chief... this..." The smile on the Secretary-General's face froze.

"This is the Ninth Princess of our Guga Civilization," Chen Mu said, talking nonsense with a straight face. "What, do you have an objection to me using the chibi image of our Empire's Ninth Princess as the national flag?"

The Secretary-General shuddered, his head shaking like a rattle: "No, no! Not at all! Her Highness the Princess is truly too cute! This flag is simply a universe-level work of art! I'll go hang it up right away!"

The Secretary-General carefully held the portrait of the chibi penguin girl like a holy relic bestowed by God, turning to face the dense crowd of national representatives.

He held his hands high, displaying the illegally cute chibi penguin girl to the world's cameras.

Camera flashes were like stars exploding in the night sky, clicking incessantly.

Chen Mu looked at the representatives frantically taking photos below, that gentle-as-jade smile still on his face.

He thought silently: "Gugu Gaga, I've turned you into a civilization totem over here."

"You be your internet celebrity cute pet in the original world, and I'll be my Blue Star Planet Chief here. Both of us have a bright future."

The online bullet chats were even more boisterous: [Wait, wait, let me process this. Aliens came, we unanimously rejected their plan, then the aliens turned off the sun for a bit, so we stayed up all night to make an improved version ourselves, passed it unanimously, and even elected the alien ambassador as Ball Chief. But didn't we win? Why do I feel like something's wrong?]

[Brother, your reaction time could wrap around Blue Star three times. Let me translate for you: Aliens held a kitchen knife and said 'I want to eat you', we unanimously rejected and said 'No'. Then the aliens sharpened the knife, and we immediately changed our tune: 'Big brother, don't do it, come inside and sit, we'll cook whatever you want to eat, and by the way, why don't you be the head of our household.']

[Afterwards, we announced to the world: We won. Because the aliens didn't eat us directly; we proactively invited them in. We've won so much we're numb.]

[To put it simply, the Permanent Five signed a Pro Max version of a 'humiliating-the-planet' treaty overnight, then pointed at the treaty and said: 'Look, we successfully tied the aliens to our chariot!']

[To summarize today's UN General Assembly: Aliens: I want to live in your house. Us: No! Aliens: Then I'll live next door. Us: Big brother, please! Here are the keys, here's the deed, here are your slippers. Oh, by the way, do you want to be our head of household too?]

[More accurately: We proactively handed over the keys and the deed, then announced to the world: 'After tough negotiations on our part, the other party agreed to only stay in the master bedroom and not use the living room or kitchen'. Win! A big, fat win!]

[You guys above, are you even Blue Star people? Still being sarcastic at a time like this? The Permanent Five did this for the benefit of all humanity! Ball Chief Chen Mu is also sincerely helping us!]

[Can't you see he's the one who suppressed the alien fleet? Can't you see he opened interstellar trade to us? Can't you see he gave us Guga Planet technology? You keyboard warriors, what else can you do besides flame people online?]

["Technology kept by the Permanent Five", classic move. When the class gave out scholarships as a kid, the teacher said, "I'll keep the money for now, everyone will have a share later". It's been twenty years, and I've never seen that money again.]

[Mars is the common heritage of all mankind! Why is the technology only given to the Permanent Five?]

Next second: Never mind, pretend I didn't say anything.

This is probably the fastest "protest-retract" process I've ever seen, taking less than three seconds.]

[Black Panther: I object!]

[United Nations: 1 vote against, 100 votes in favor, the proposal passes.]

[Black Panther: You are all cowards!]

[United Nations: Next proposal, Secretary-General, please speak.]

[Black Panther: ...]

[United Nations: Passed unanimously!]

[Black Panther, the most insignificant objector in human history.]

[Yesterday: Get out!]

[Today: Please be our king!]

[Tomorrow: Ball Chief, how much tax do you think is appropriate to collect?]

[The Secretary-General's bootlicking quotes translated into plain language: "Daddy Chen Mu, we were wrong, we shouldn't have opposed you last time. No one but you can sit in the position of Ball Chief and let us sleep at night. Please, sit. If you don't sit, we won't get up from our knees." Translation complete.]

[Many years later, when my grandson asks me, "Grandpa, how was the Blue Star Planet Chief born", I'll tell him: It was on an ordinary morning, the Secretary-General of the United Nations was bootlicking so intensely that our alien ambassador was too embarrassed to refuse, and so it happened.]

[Ninth Princess! Ninth Princess! Ninth Princess! I've already started drawing fanart! Long live Her Highness the Ninth Princess! Long live the Guga Civilization! Long live the Blue Star Planet Chief!]

[So what happened this month: Aliens came to set conditions, we scolded them and unanimously rejected. In a fit of rage, the aliens turned off the sun, and today we immediately crowned him emperor. He declined, saying it wasn't quite appropriate, and the Secretary-General cried and begged him to sit on the throne. He sat down, collected five thousand dollars in ticket money, and drew a penguin as the national flag. This is history. This is civilization. This is Guga Year One.]

——————

Thus, on an ordinary morning in the year 2030 AD, the United Nations General Assembly passed a unanimous vote, Chen Mu was elected Blue Star Planet Chief, and a cute chibi penguin avatar became the brand-new flag ruling over the entire Earth.

The gugu gaga Era of Blue Star officially begins today.

End of Volume.