33: Chapter 33 Global Physicists Have Gone Mad: This Isn't Scientific, But It's Very Jiang Chen

At this very moment, the global physics community is falling into an unprecedented state of schizophrenia.

If physics used to be a solemn temple, then today, someone has splashed a basin of dog blood on its doorstep, and floating in that dog blood are two words: Truth.

Geneva, CERN.

The top-tier conference room, where you could normally hear a pin drop, is now as noisy as a wet market.

Dozens of gray-haired physics titans, who have won so many awards their hands are soft, are surrounding the latest issue of "Nature" magazine, slamming the table with red faces and thick necks.

"Absurd! Simply absurd!"

An old professor from Germany was so angry his dentures were about to fly out. He pointed at the "Coke Bottle" concept art on the magazine cover and roared, "This is a rape of the Second Law of Thermodynamics! A plastic bottle? A microwave? Is that Jiang Chen trying to tell us that as long as we go to Walmart and buy two cases of Coke, we can build a sun in our own garage?!"

"But... that formula is correct."

In the corner, a young researcher weakly raised his hand, pointing at the simulation data running on the big screen, "Professor, we just ran it three times using the supercomputer. That 'Jiang's Threshold'... is a perfect closed loop. It solves the uncontrollable problem of plasma turbulence."

The old professor choked on his words.

At this moment, the air became embarrassingly quiet.

Everyone fell into a despair known as "cognitive collapse."

It's like you've spent thirty years painstakingly practicing sword techniques, preparing to challenge the leader of the martial arts world, only for the leader to take out a ham sausage, wave it around a couple of times, defeat you in seconds, and tell you that this is called the "Righteous Path of Heaven and Earth."

Who can handle that?

"Could it be..."

Another bald expert swallowed, his eyes gradually becoming unfocused and fanatical, "Could this be the power of Eastern mysticism? The so-called 'Coke Bottle' is actually a projection of some high-dimensional matter in the three-dimensional world? Or is it an extremely profound metaphor?"

"Quick! Go buy Coke! Get the one with the red label! And go buy a microwave! Get the one with the grill function!"

"We must replicate this experiment! For science! Even if it's metaphysics, we have to acknowledge it!"

...

The other side of the ocean had gone mad, and things weren't any better here in Long Country.

Longke Academy Dean's office.

Zhong Guodong held the magazine, his hands shaking as if he were playing the guitar. He looked at the glaring "Jiang Chen" on the cover and felt that his blood pressure medication might need an increase.

"Beep—beep—"

The call connected.

Zhong Guodong took a deep breath, and before the other side could speak, he let out a roar from the depths of his soul:

"Jiang Chen! Do you want to piss me off to death so you can inherit my Huabei debt?!"

On the other end of the line, Jiang Chen's voice was lazy, with the sound effects of monster-slaying from a game mixed in the background:

"What's wrong, Old Zhong? Why so much anger early in the morning? Is the 6G not working well, or did the Lithography Machine get a paper jam?"

"You're still playing dumb with me?!"

Dean Zhong rolled the magazine into a tube and slammed it hard against the table, "Have you seen today's 'Nature'? What's with that paper of yours about 'making a nuclear bomb with a Coke bottle'? Now the whole world is asking me if Longke Academy has switched to alchemy! Foreign media says we've mastered 'plastic fusion' technology, and the Eagle Country has even started restricting Coke exports!"

"My ancestor, if you want to publish a paper, can't you be a little... a little more serious? Even writing 'polymer material' would be fine, but what's with the Coke bottle?"

Jiang Chen was silent for two seconds on the other end, and then a sigh of extreme innocence came through.

"Old Zhong, this really isn't my fault."

Jiang Chen's tone was sincere, even carrying a hint of grievance at being wronged, "Actually, I didn't even want to publish that article. I wrote it for fun, and incidentally used it to... cough, go fishing."

"Who knew that the neighbor who helped me type would be so literal!"

Jiang Chen began to pass the buck without any psychological burden, "I just casually told her it was a 'Coke bottle,' which actually refers to a special centrifugal structure. She, on the other hand, translated it all literally! She even wrote 'microwave' into it!"

"This is just a misunderstanding; the main thing is that the typist... didn't have a high educational level, and her comprehension skills were a bit off."

Far away in a safe house, Alice (Zhang Li), who was undergoing a severe interrogation by her superiors, suddenly felt her nose itch and let out an earth-shattering sneeze.

If she had heard this, she probably would have been so angry she'd spit three liters of blood on the spot.

"I am an S-class agent! I have dual doctoral degrees! You call this not having a high educational level?!"

Dean Zhong was left bewildered by Jiang Chen's twisted logic.

"A misunderstanding?"

Old man Zhong rubbed his temples, his face a mix of laughter and tears, "Fine, let's say it's a misunderstanding. But the formulas inside are real, right? Now those people from the Department of Energy have gone crazy, blocking my door to get your contact information, saying they want to build a shrine for you while you're still alive."

"Jiang Chen, give me the bottom line. That formula... if we use proper materials, can it really ignite?"

"It can."

Jiang Chen answered nonchalantly, as if he were saying that a meal could make you full, "As long as the materials can hold up, let alone ignition, boiling water to generate electricity is just a matter of minutes. Later, I'll send Academician Chen Shuyin a proper version of the blueprints and have her lead a team to build a prototype."

"Alright Old Zhong, I have things to do here, I'm hanging up now."

"Beep."

The call ended.

Zhong Guodong listened to the busy tone in the receiver, stunned for a long time, and finally burst into laughter, laughing until tears came out.

"A madman... truly a madman."

He leaned back in his chair, looking at the red flag fluttering outside the window, his eyes full of gratification and pride.

"However, what our Long Country needs is exactly this kind of genius madman who can drive the whole world crazy!"

...

Yunding Villa, Villa No. 1.

Jiang Chen threw his phone on the sofa and stretched his body.

"Done."

Not only did he lay the groundwork for nuclear fusion theory, but he also conveniently tricked that spy, killing two birds with one stone.

He was in a very good mood.

In the game, Jiang Wanqiu was wearing that explosively sexy "Black Widow" combat suit, slaughtering everything in the Wasteland, earning him a constant stream of admiration points.

In reality, the Wang family had fallen, the land was acquired, and the base was built.

"This is what life is about."

Jiang Chen hummed a little tune, preparing to go to the kitchen to see if he could get some of that Iberian ham to eat.

"Buzz—buzz—"

The phone he had just thrown down suddenly started vibrating again like a bitter woman.

Jiang Chen frowned.

Who is it again?

Old Qin? Or the madman Chen?

He picked up the phone and looked; it was an unfamiliar local number.

No note, not a sales call, and it didn't show as a spam call.

"Hello? Who is this?"

Jiang Chen answered the phone, his tone a bit impatient.

There was a silence for a second on the other end of the line.

Immediately after, a female voice came through—familiar to the point of making him feel physically disgusted, yet carrying a deliberately disguised, trembling, sobbing tone:

"Jiang Chen... it's me."

"It's me, Yaoyao."

Jiang Chen's hand holding the phone paused for a moment, and his eyebrows instantly knit into a tight knot.

Lin Yao?

Is this woman made of cockroach-like resilience?

He had blocked her on WeChat, blocked her number, she had been dragged away in public by agents in the school cafeteria last time, and even her big backer Wang Kai had been taken in... How could she still be jumping around?

"Something up?"

Jiang Chen's voice instantly turned cold, dropping at least twenty degrees compared to when he was talking to Dean Zhong just now.

Lin Yao on the other end of the phone seemed startled by the icy tone, but she quickly adjusted her emotions, crying like a pear blossom in the rain, as if she had suffered a great injustice:

"Jiang Chen, I know you're still angry at me. Last time in the cafeteria... it was my fault. I just loved you too much, and I lost my composure in a moment of impulse."

"Can you give me a chance? I want to see you; I have very important things to say to you in person."

"I'm right at the entrance of your residential complex... the security won't let me in. Jiang Chen, for the sake of our two-year relationship, could you come out and see me? Please..."

Jiang Chen walked to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked down at the distant entrance of the villa complex.

Although it was too far to see clearly, he could imagine what Lin Yao looked like right now—she must have meticulously applied "no-makeup makeup," was wearing clothes that showed off her figure, and was putting on a tragic act at the entrance.

If it were the old Jiang Chen, hearing this crying, he probably would have softened and run out.

But the current Jiang Chen had only two words in his heart:

"Disgusting."

"Important things?"

Jiang Chen's mouth curled into a mocking sneer, "What, Wang Kai is in, no one to buy you bags, and you've remembered me, your backup?"

"No! It's not because of money!"

Lin Yao hurriedly defended herself, "I really regret it! Jiang Chen, only after leaving you did I realize that in this world, only you truly treat me well! My thing with Wang Kai was just a performance..."

"A performance?"

Jiang Chen interrupted her, his tone devoid of anger, holding only the indifference of someone watching a clown:

"Lin Yao, your acting is too terrible. Also, don't cry like you're at a funeral at my door; it's bad luck."

After speaking, his finger hovered over the hang-up button, ready to end this farce once and for all.

However.

Lin Yao on the other end of the phone seemed to sense he was about to hang up, suddenly screamed, and threw out her final trump card:

"Don't hang up! Jiang Chen! Don't you want to know about your sister?!"

"I saw Jiang Qianqian at school! She seems to... have run into trouble!"