256: Civil Service Examination (Part 1)

Outside the window, the surface of the Wangchuan River surged with fragmented gold reflections.

Some group of poor souls had folded over a thousand small paper boats, scrawling "Overtime Dog Protection Association" in crooked handwriting.

They were drifting along the Yellow Springs Road toward the Bridge of Helplessness.

Ling Qi picked up her communication jade bracelet; its icy touch reminded her it was time for a check-in again.

Suddenly, a scream echoed from three kilometers away—

"Help! Big Dog, listen to my explanation! I really didn't swipe that bag of dog food!"

This was accompanied by deafening barks: "Woof, woof, woof!"

The attendance pen spun around Ling Qi's fingertips.

The moment the tip of the pen brushed past Chen Yu's name, it was like a stream of light seeping into the paper, transforming into a fluffy "Death-Exemption Butt Stamp."

"Heh, if you get caught red-handed next time, even a Great Immortal won't be able to save you."

She chuckled toward the empty air.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed a few more paper boats appearing on the Wangchuan River, this time printed with "Underworld Milk Tea Freedom Alliance."

Knock, knock...

You Yu pushed the door open and entered, catching Ling Qi raising an eyebrow at her communication jade bracelet.

On the screen, the White-Haired Loli's distress signal was flashing frantically at Fierce Dog Ridge.

He raised a hand to adjust his suit tie. "Secretary-General, overtime complaints in the Netherworld have surged three hundred times recently."

Ling Qi's pen paused.

A long, crooked line was drawn across the name "Chen Yu" on the attendance sheet.

Without looking up, she asked, "Is someone using 'mortal soul-reaping' as an excuse to skip work again?"

"It's worse than that."

You Yu slapped a stack of crumpled complaint letters onto the desk, the top one featuring a crudely drawn crying face.

"The ghost messengers say they'd rather be chased ten blocks by a malevolent ghost than stare at a mountain of document folders and reports."

"There are also ghost messengers suggesting..."

He paused, reading the flamboyant handwriting on the letter.

"...that Her Excellency the Goddess of Desire use her charm magic to hypnotize all civil service ghost messengers, so everyone can 'work overtime happily.'"

Ling Qi finally looked up, leaning her head on her hand with a light laugh.

"These rascals."

"With His Majesty and Lord Meng Jiang away, it truly is a case of 'when the tiger is away, the monkeys are kings.'"

She shook her communication jade bracelet.

Dozens of unread messages popped up instantly, half of them being reasons for "applying for a business trip to the mortal realm"—ranging from "buying osmanthus for the Succubus Bar" to "investigating if mortal milk tea shops are adding underworld water"... "It's simply all sorts of nonsense."

You Yu reached out his right hand and pulled a crumpled "Overtime Dog Protection Association" paper boat from the envelope.

The edges of the paper boat were stained with milk tea, and it had "Protest is futile, slacking is justified" written crookedly on it.

He raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we should follow the will of the people?"

"Even though we upgraded their computer configurations and gave them months of intensive training on office software..."

"...these old-fashioned ghost messengers from hundreds of years ago still find it difficult to adapt!"

"Adapt?"

"Games, online shopping, live streaming... they seem to learn those fast enough." Ling Qi's face was as cold as water as spiritual power gathered at her fingertips.

She expanded the paper boat in You Yu's hand as a holographic projection, reflecting various slacking-off scenes across the Underworld.

Ma Sanqiang was knitting a sweater with chains in the strategy room, Yin Shu was holding up a phone to secretly film You Yu working, and even the usually serious Bai Xuan was drawing a "Handsomest Wuchang" certificate for Hei Jing.

She smiled with narrowed eyes. "How about we just turn the Underworld into an amusement park?"

You Yu remained silent for a moment, then took the Yellow Springs Patrol Banner from his waist and shook it a few times.

Ding-ling-ling—

The crisp ringing nearly pierced through half of the Netherworld.

The individuals in the projection, shrouded by the shadow created by the sudden check-in, all shuddered in unison.

He said calmly, "Perhaps we can implement a 'flexible overtime system.' Those who complete their daily KPIs can get a twenty percent discount for drifting and relaxation in the Nether Sea Region."

"That's a good idea." Ling Qi tapped the desk, rearranging the list of flashing slacking employees.

"Plus 'irregular spot checks.' Any ghost messenger caught, including the four Underworld Marshals..."

She glanced toward Fierce Dog Ridge. "...will go be weight-loss training partners for the Iron-Haired Dog."

As soon as she finished speaking, Chen Yu's wailing came from ten miles away: "Help! Big Dog! Yu Yu is not innocent!!!"

"Ah! Don't gnaw on my hair!"

You Yu's eye twitched as he silently folded a complaint letter into a paper crane and let it fly. "Should we first solve the Lord Prefectural City God's 'overtime phobia'?"

"No rush."

Ling Qi's pen descended, drawing a bared-teeth dog head stamp on Chen Yu's attendance sheet.

"Let her build a good relationship with the Iron-Haired Dog."

"After all, being chased by ten thousand Iron-Haired Dogs is more refreshing than any training."

"Besides, this is just a temporary fix. Perhaps most of the ghost messengers summoned by His Majesty truly have no talent for grassroots civil service work."

"Then what do you mean, Secretary-General?" You Yu was startled, a hint of anticipation flashing in his eyes.

He was waiting for Ling Qi to provide a brilliant idea.

The Secretary-General's work attitude had always been steady and reserved.

Since she pointed out that the current methods only treated the symptoms and not the cause, it meant she already had a clever plan in mind.

"The Underworld Civil Service Exam." Ling Qi tapped the warning box on the attendance sheet with the back of her hand.

You Yu looked suspicious. "Underworld Exam?"

"Full name: The Unified Examination for Underworld Civil Service Ghost Messengers."

Ling Qi pulled up a holographic screen, where an introductory outline was rapidly being generated.

"Held every three years, no restrictions on race, gender, or age... Anyone with a merit value of 100 points or more can register."

"The treatment refers to Second-Tier Underworld Soldiers of the Legion: a monthly salary of 8,000 incense offerings, a nine-to-five schedule with weekends off; Underworld-exclusive 'five insurances and one housing fund,' and one can be converted to official Underworld permanent staff after a hundred years."

"..."

"It sounds a bit like the civil service recruitment exams in the mortal realm." You Yu looked at the "Merit Value Conversion Table" jumping on the screen.

He pointed to one of the entries. "After ten years of work, one can freely choose their reincarnation and enjoy 'Two-Life Virtuous Person' treatment?"

"And it increases sequentially according to the years of service."

"Exactly."

The corners of Ling Qi's lips curled into a cunning arc. "There are so many 'involution kings' in the mortal realm; we have to give them some sweetness after they die."

"For example, promising their next life starts as a rich second-generation, provided they first come to the Underworld to be a corporate slave for ten years."

You Yu laughed out loud. "Is the Secretary-General planning to introduce the mortal realm's 'civil service exam fever' to the Netherworld?"

He looked at the automatically generated "Underworld Exam Promotion Poster" on the screen, which read: "Work in the Underworld, Guarantee Your Reincarnation Avoids Pitfalls."

It was accompanied by an emoji of Chen Yu running for her life while being chased by an Iron-Haired Dog.

"But... what is the content of the exam? You're not actually going to test 'The Guide to Mastering Underworld Civil Service Office Software,' are you?"

"Of course not."

Ling Qi pulled up the exam syllabus. "The written exam covers 'Basic Norms for Underworld Civil Service,' 'Spiritual Body Office Software Operation,' 'Emergency Incident Handling Case Studies'..."

"The practical exam covers official document shorthand, spiritual power cash counting, cross-species communication... for example, how to persuade a malevolent ghost to use an electronic subpoena instead of biting."

She suddenly remembered something and added, "An 'Anti-Interference Ability Test' will be added to the interview phase."

"Such as completing reports amidst the noise of Ma Sanqiang knitting sweaters, or maintaining decorum in front of Yin Shu's secret filming lens..."