326: Talkative

"First paint a picture, then brainwash, and finally bind their faith."

Bai Xuan couldn't help but ask, "Won't that be too..."

"Too what?"

Chen Yu leaned over and mumbled, "This is called efficiency. Back in the day, when this Venerable One was doing pyramid schemes in the mortal realm, one set of rhetoric was enough for grandpas and grandmas to hand over their coffin money."

"Don't worry, it's very effective."

Shang Wan Ning glanced at her: "A-Yu, full of lies~"

Chen Yu chuckled, naturally changing the subject. "By the way, Your Majesty, that beast-girl..."

"Mention it one more time, and there'll be no dinner tonight." Shang Wan Ning turned and walked into the inner hall, leaving Chen Yu sticking out her tongue. Inside Jiaotai Palace, the scent of agarwood wafted. Shang Wan Ning had just finished approving a stack of documents and took a sip of spirit tea.

"Your Majesty."

Ling Qi pushed the door open, her gold-rimmed glasses reflecting a cold light, her fingers rapidly swiping on a tablet.

"Lia has been settled in a large villa by the The Banks of the River of Oblivion, with the security level set to maximum."

"Mm." The Netherworld Empress didn't lift her eyelids.

Ling Qi tapped her finger on the tablet, bringing up a report that projected into mid-air. "Elf Princess Lia, last month's incense offerings income."

A string of numbers popped up: 1,301,090,326 incense points.

Pfft—

Shang Wan Ning spat out all her spirit tea onto the freshly approved documents.

"How much?" Her voice cracked.

"Over 1.3 billion." Ling Qi pushed up her glasses, her tone as flat as if reciting the Underworld rules.

"To be precise, one billion, three hundred and one million, ninety thousand, three hundred and twenty-six incense points."

Shang Wan Ning stared at the string of zeros, counting on her fingers three times. "One elf, more than me and Olexia combined?"

"What did she do? Sell the The Banks of the River of Oblivion water as mineral water?"

"She sells her art, not her body." Ling Qi opened the Underworld APP. "It's all thanks to her looks and the enthusiasm of her fangirls."

She turned the tablet.

The screen was dazzlingly bright, showing "Lia Stargazer's" personal homepage, with a string of numbers next to the follower count.

Pinned video on the homepage: Lia sitting among moonflowers by the The Banks of the River of Oblivion, her silver hair slightly damp, bare feet playing in the stream, with faint red marks on her ankles... She just tilted her head and curved her green eyes at the camera.

Views: "990 million+".

The bullet comments were so thick that her face was invisible:

[Sister, step on me, I'll just lick the wound clean!]

[This sense of brokenness, this battle-damaged beauty. Mom's heart broke and mended again.]

[Wifey's ankle isn't an ankle, it's the spring water of the Seine, it's a curved blade that hooks my soul.]

[Can Underworld medical insurance cover lovesickness? I'm terminally ill.]

[Put some pants on upstairs! Sister, look at me, I've bought the laundry detergent, the drum is big enough and gentle enough.]

Shang Wan Ning's eyelids twitched as she scrolled down. The comment section was an even worse disaster zone:

Top comment: [Lewd, ٩(๛ ˘ ³˘)۶ Sister's waist isn't a waist, it's the curved blade of the Grim Reaper. Sister's legs aren't legs, they're the spring water of the Seine. Sister, step on me, I'll just lick the wound clean. This sense of brokenness is amazing! Battle-damaged elf, GOAT!] (Likes: 210 million)

Second top comment: [Lia wifey, look at me, my new front-load washing machine has arrived. Super large capacity and super gentle, I'll handle all of sister's clothes, put as much as you want, guaranteed to be washed fragrant. If you get tired of washing, rest in my arms, I'll set the water temperature to maximum, you'll have an excuse to blush.] (Likes: 180 million)

Third top comment: [The abacus beads from upstairs just hit my face. Sister, ignore them, look at me, I brought my own washboard. Purely handmade, ancient method scrubbing, ensuring every inch of fabric gets a 'deep cleaning' by hand. Sister only needs to lie... oh no, supervise.] (Likes: 150 million)

Fourth top comment: [Heh, a bunch of superficial women. Is sister's silver hair brocade woven from moonlight? I want to roll around in it. Are sister's green eyes an unpolluted lake in the deepest part of the forest? I want to drown in them. Sister's lips... (This user has been muted by the system for 24 hours due to overly explicit language)]

Shang Wan Ning's fingers felt numb from reading, and a flush rushed to her head. Could these tiger-wolf words really be said publicly?

Even when Ling Qi cornered her against the office wall back then, she hadn't heard anything so explicit.

"This... this..."

Shang Wan Ning pointed at the screen, unable to form a complete sentence for a long time. "What kind of decorum is this? Shouldn't the Underworld APP manage it?"

"It did."

Ling Qi calmly swiped to the backend. "Three million six hundred and fifty thousand accounts were muted. Eighty thousand accounts that opened paid private chats asking for 'personal guidance for Lia on using the washing machine' were banned."

"It's useless, wild grass cannot be burned out, it grows again with the spring breeze. The fighting power of thirsty women is underestimated by Your Majesty and the Underworld programmers."

Shang Wan Ning rubbed her forehead, her head buzzing.

She clicked on the "Underworld Beauty Ranking."

NO.1: Lia Stargazer (Elf) - Popularity: 99,999,999+

NO.2: Olexia (Goddess of Desire) - Popularity: 89,752,641

NO.3: Shang Wan Ning (Netherworld Empress) - Popularity: 87,636,087

NO.4: Meng Jiang (Lady Meng) - Popularity: 67,458,324

Shang Wan Ning: "..."

At this moment, the Netherworld Empress felt a deep malice from the world of beauty-chasers.

What happened to the divine aura she was promised!

"I, the dignified ruler of the Underworld, an Eighth-Rank Deity. I can't even beat an injured elf?"

Shang Wan Ning slammed the table, standing up. "It's one thing for Olexia, that 'scummy woman,' to be second, but I'm actually third!!!"

Ling Qi pushed up her glasses: "Your Majesty, calm down. Data doesn't lie. Lia's advantage is..."

"Beauty, pure beauty." Shang Wan Ning interjected, saying with heartfelt grief.

"Sexual orientation is not an issue at all; beauty is the number one productive force in the universe. These women, lusting after that elf's body, they are depraved."

Ling Qi: "..."

[Your Majesty, when you lusted after Sister Meng's body back then, you seemed quite depra... cough.]

The Netherworld Empress paced agitatedly in the hall, making the carpet thump.

Suddenly, she stopped, turning to stare at Ling Qi.

"AQi!"

"Here."

"You say..." Shang Wan Ning leaned close to Ling Qi's earlobe, exhaling a fragrant breath.

"What if one day I capture Elf Goddess Avila herself and bring her to the Mercury Plane."

She enunciated each word, making a shocking statement: "And have her live stream on the Underworld APP, doing group performances, how about that?"

Boom!

Outside the hall, the sky was clear, but Ling Qi felt a bolt of lightning strike her acupoints.

Her pupils behind the gold-rimmed glasses had an earthquake of at least magnitude eight.

The Secretary-General opened her mouth, then closed it again.

She pushed up her glasses three times before finding her voice, which, for the first time, had a slight tremor: "You... Your Majesty... are you saying... capture... capture Elf Goddess... herself... to... to do group performances?"

Shang Wan Ning nodded vigorously, her eyes burning.

"Yes! Her, the high and mighty, aloof and arrogant leader of the Nature Pantheon."

"Drag her down, make her wear a little skirt. Wiggle for her Mercury fans, singing and dancing to Rap."

[(ﾟﾍﾟ) I finally understand why my best friend can get a goddess, but I'm a single cat. Because she's full of saucy remarks!]

[Tested and proven, being full of saucy remarks will get you called a hooligan, unless you're exactly to the sister's taste.]