144: Chapter 144 A Brave Confession at Twenty

In the guest room of Liu Zijun's home, warm yellow LED strips cast a soft, hazy glow.

Lying on the bed, her fingers repeatedly stroked the phone screen, which still displayed a photo of her kissing and embracing Liu Zijun.

The warmth she had felt from Liu Zijun's parents still lingered in her heart.

That unreserved affection made the tip of her nose sting with emotion once more.

After hesitating for a full ten minutes, Choi Sulli took a deep breath and suddenly opened the exclusive f(x) chat group.

The group chat still showed the schedule reminder Older Sister Victoria Song had sent in the afternoon; Luna Park Sun-ri and Amber were still spamming stickers, while Krystal Jung remained in lurk mode.

Her fingers trembling, she typed out a line of text, deleting and revising, revising and deleting.

In the end, she pressed the send button.

"Older Sister Victoria Song, unnie Luna, unnie Amber, and Krystal! I'm sorry, but I might have to do something selfish.

Even though this will hurt everyone, I don't want to lose what I can still have right now.

From the moment Elder Brother Liu Zijun said 'Hello, Choi Jin-ri' to me at the company,

from the moment he blocked that cup of coffee for me,

from the moment he brought me hope,

from the moment he took me around the Star City night market on his little electric scooter,

from the moment he jumped off the plane with me,

from the moment he faced all dangers for my sake.

I knew I could never leave him.

I keep the group's schedules and everyone's hard work in my heart, but I want even more to stand openly by his side, without having to sneak around, without having to fear being discovered.

I'm sorry, unnies. I'm sorry, Krystal, for putting you in a difficult position."

The moment the message was sent successfully, Park Sun-ri's instant reply immediately popped up on her phone screen.

"Sulli? What are you going to do? Don't scare me!"

Followed closely by a message from Amber.

"Seol-ri, talk to us properly. What selfish thing? We can solve it together!"

Victoria Song's message came right after, with obvious urgency: "Choi Sulli, explain yourself clearly! You are not allowed to do anything foolish!"

Only Krystal Jung didn't reply; she called directly instead.

Choi Sulli thought for a moment and answered.

"Hey! Choi Sulli! What are you up to? Don't be so frightening!"

Krystal Jung's words, full of concern, came through.

Choi Sulli thought for a bit, then spoke through her tears: "Krystal! I'm planning to announce my relationship with Elder Brother Liu Zijun! I'm sorry, Krystal..."

Krystal Jung was stunned for a long while, then said, "Okay! I support you!"

The call ended.

Messages kept refreshing in the chat box. Choi Sulli looked at the screen, her tears falling uncontrollably again, but she didn't reply anymore.

Exiting the group chat, she opened Son Ye-jin's chat interface.

Looking at their previous chat history, Son Ye-jin always gently reminded her to take care of herself, tolerated her little tantrums, and even proactively yielded to her and Im Yoona.

Choi Sulli bit her lip, edited a message, and sent it.

"Yejin Unnie, I'm sorry. Please forgive my selfishness. I know doing this might make you sad and wronged, but I'm just so terrified of losing Elder Brother Liu Zijun...

I know your feelings for Elder Brother Liu Zijun are also deep, and I know you've always silently tolerated us, but I still want to be brave this once, to openly tell everyone that Elder Brother Liu Zijun is my lover.

unnie, I'm sorry, truly sorry."

After sending it, she opened Im Yoona's chat window.

Im Yoona was still worried about her in a video call yesterday, still anxious about her situation, yet here she was about to do something so 'attention-grabbing'.

Just thinking about this made Choi Sulli feel terribly sorry towards Im Yoona.

But she still sniffled and sent the message.

"Yoona Unnie, I'm sorry. I'm about to do something very selfish.

I know you love Elder Brother Liu Zijun too, and I know you've sacrificed a lot for him, but I really don't want to sneak around anymore.

I want everyone to know that I'm with Elder Brother Liu Zijun. I want to openly hold his hand, hug him, and face all the gossip with him.

I'm already prepared to not be an entertainer anymore. After going through so much, I don't want to retreat anymore."

After sending the two messages, Choi Sulli didn't wait for a reply. She directly exited the chat app and opened her social media account.

She was going to do something no one would expect, something she never dared to think about before.

She opened her photo album and began carefully selecting pictures.

The first one was found online: Liu Zijun protecting her, shielding her from an anti-fan's coffee cup—a picture of her terrified and him gentle.

The second was at Liu Zijun's old family home in China, a photo of her wearing silly Chinese village girl clothes, holding hands and walking with Liu Zijun. She was smiling foolishly, but very happily.

The third was a candid shot at the Star City night market, with Liu Zijun wiping sugar stains from the corner of her mouth. In the photo, her eyes curved into smiles, full of dependence.

The fourth was a group shot of her and the members burying a time capsule under a silver fern tree in New Zealand. Sunlight bathed the five of them, warm and healing.

The fifth was a photo of them horseback riding at the beach, nestled in Liu Zijun's arms, her smile dazzlingly bright.

The sixth was a close-up of their two rings—her peach ring and Liu Zijun's plain band placed together, the meaning clear.

The seventh was a silhouette selfie of them embracing in mid-air while skydiving, her brave and romantic.

The eighth was on a wooden boat on Lugu Lake, a rhododendron flower on her head as she gave a peace sign to the camera, with Liu Zijun gazing at her tenderly from the side.

The ninth was a photo just taken while shopping in Beijing, her and Liu Zijun standing together like a real family.

Nine photos, recording the bits and pieces of how she and Liu Zijun met and fell in love, each one full of happiness.

After selecting the photos, Choi Sulli began editing the caption.

She wanted to unreservedly tell everyone her story, to let them know she wasn't acting on impulse, but had made a decision after careful thought.

But some things were simply impossible to say.

After pondering for quite a while, she finished editing.

"Hello everyone, I'm Choi Sulli.

Today, I want to be brave and tell everyone a secret I've kept for a long time—I am dating Elder Brother Liu Zijun.

Many might be surprised, skeptical, confused, or even curse me, but I still want to tell our story.

The first time I met Elder Brother Liu Zijun was at my own brother's funeral. Back then, I felt like the sky had collapsed, and the world was gray.

It was then that he silently stood by my side and told me, 'I'll always be on your side.'

At that time, I thought he was just Oppa Soomyeong's friend, there to help me.

(P.S.: I was actually quite scared of him back then!)

Later, he became our group's bodyguard. Every time danger arose, he was always the first to shield me.

He remembered I liked sweet things and would buy me sugar oil cakes and peach sugar paintings at the night market.

He would hold my hand tight when I was scared and patiently comfort me when I had emotional breakdowns.

He took me to see the world, starting from every corner of Seoul, from the night markets of China's Star City to the grasslands of New Zealand, from the rhododendrons of China's Lugu Lake to the hutongs of Beijing.

He made me feel a warmth and sense of security I had never known before.

The psychologist said my mental state was complex, but I know myself—he is my light, the beam illuminating my gray world.

Before meeting him, I felt so tired; the world was so cold.

But after meeting him, I began to realize there were so many beautiful things in this world, and that I, too, could be cherished so deeply.

He tolerates my little tantrums, fulfills all my wishes, gives up many things for me, and faces all dangers for my sake.

Today, on this special day, I want to be brave.

I don't want to date in secret anymore, don't want to fear being discovered, don't want to care about others' opinions.

I want to openly tell everyone: I like Elder Brother Liu Zijun, I love him, I want to be with him forever, face all storms with him, and walk towards the future together.

My decision will bring many impacts to the group, cause pain to the members, disappoint the fans, but I still want to be true to my heart.

I know, as an entertainer, publicly announcing a relationship takes great courage, but I don't want to miss the person I love most because of the constraints of this identity.

I know there will be a lot of gossip, many who won't understand, even many who will hate me, but I still want to do this.

Because Elder Brother Liu Zijun taught me to bravely pursue my own happiness and cherish everything I have before me.

Also, I want to say to unnie Victoria, unnie Luna, unnie Amber, and Krystal: I'm sorry. My decision has put you in a difficult position. I will always love you and hope to always be a member of f(x).

To the fans who support f(x) and me: I'm sorry for disappointing you, but I still want to be true to my heart. I hope you can understand me.

Finally, I also want to say to Elder Brother Liu Zijun: saranghae. Thank you for appearing in my life, for all the warmth and courage you've brought me. I will always be by your side.

From today on, I, Choi Sulli, am fearless."

After finishing the caption, Choi Sulli read it from beginning to end, tears falling once more.

This was the first time she had been so brave, the first time she disregarded all gossip for her own happiness.

She took a deep breath and pressed the 'Post' button.

The moment the post succeeded, she immediately turned off her phone, tossed it onto the nightstand, burrowed under the covers, and closed her eyes.

She didn't want to see anyone's replies, didn't want to see the online gossip. She just wanted to sleep quietly and welcome tomorrow.

She knew that tomorrow might bring overwhelming skepticism and abuse, fans leaving and group crises, endless trouble and pressure, and possibly even the end of her career as an entertainer.

But at this moment, she had absolutely no regrets.

Because she had finally been brave once, finally openly acknowledged her love, finally could stand in the sunlight with the person she loved most.

In the guest room, Choi Sulli's breathing gradually steadied. With a relieved smile on her face, she drifted into sweet dreams.

She dreamed of traveling to every corner of the world with Liu Zijun, dreamed of everyone blessing them, dreamed of giving Elder Brother Liu Zijun five children.