108: That's when you're ready.

"So you're just leading her on?" Her voice rose slightly at the end.

"I'm not leading her on!" Yu Heng raised an eyebrow. "I just haven't found the right opportunity to handle it yet."

"You're not leading her on?" Shen Yueling's lip curled. "You know perfectly well she likes you, yet you still go out to dinner and movies with her alone. If that's not leading her on, what is?"

"She hasn't confessed to me, though." Yu Heng turned to look at her. "I can't exactly take the initiative and tell her, 'I just want to sleep with you, not date you,' can I? That would be more awkward than a rejected confession."

"Besides," Yu Heng added, "what if she doesn't actually feel that way and I'm just being conceited?"

Shen Yueling rolled her eyes.

With Ning Yutong's attitude, even a blind person could see she liked Yu Heng. How could she not feel that way?

"So you're just playing dumb?" Shen Yueling asked.

"It's not exactly playing dumb." Yu Heng knew, which was why he was so conflicted. "I just haven't figured out what to do."

"You're just lusting after her body," Shen Yueling said bluntly.

Yu Heng paused for a moment, then smiled. "Yeah, I admit it."

His straightforward admission actually left Shen Yueling at a loss for words.

"I lust after your body too," Yu Heng said with a chuckle. "But you won't give it to me."

"Aren't you afraid of hurting me?" Shen Yueling squinted at him.

"You're different," he said.

"How am I different?" Shen Yueling pressed.

"The way people meet already determines the direction and nature of their relationship," Yu Heng said. "Think about it. If my mom hadn't come back during the summer break and we had gone all the way, what kind of relationship do you think we'd have?"

Shen Yueling thought about it. If they had actually done it, then they would have done it.

Become a couple? Not likely.

They had never had those kinds of thoughts.

But just doing it once? That also seemed unlikely.

Once you've tasted the marrow, you want more. Just as she couldn't resist Yu Heng's wandering hands now, they probably would have done it every chance they got that summer.

So what would their relationship be?

It seemed it would be exactly like it was now—ambiguous, yet perfectly clear.

"You really are a bastard." She said it calmly, without anger, just as an objective observation.

Yu Heng smiled. "I know."

"You know, and yet you're still like this?" Shen Yueling glared at him.

"This is my choice. I choose to live this kind of life," Yu Heng said nonchalantly.

In his past life, he had experienced the life of a normal person. In this life, he didn't really want to be normal.

Shen Yueling leaned against the railing, looking at the scattered streetlights in the neighborhood below.

"Then what if one day I want to be in a relationship?" she asked.

Yu Heng didn't answer immediately. After a while, he said, "If we're in our current state, then I suppose I would wish you happiness."

"And then go find the next one?" Shen Yueling turned to look at him.

"Probably," Yu Heng said.

Shen Yueling smiled—the kind of smile that said "just as I thought."

"You really are honest," she said.

Yu Heng looked at her and said seriously, "I've always been honest with you."

This was true. Shen Yueling recalled that since they were kids, Yu Heng had always told her the truth.

Whether it was good or bad, Yu Heng always showed her his true self, even his dark side.

"So you're being honest with me now," Shen Yueling said, "because you think I won't leave you?"

"Yes," Yu Heng thought for a moment, then shook his head. "And no."

"Then what is it?" Shen Yueling raised an eyebrow.

"I actually respect love very much, and I hope you respect it too. If you fall in love in the future, we'll go back to being just childhood friends. If that person treats you well," Yu Heng said earnestly, "then I will offer my heartfelt blessings."

"You respect love?" Shen Yueling, who rarely smiled, couldn't help but chuckle at this. "You'd act like this if you respected love?"

"Love is still sacred," Yu Heng stated. "It's just that the love I pursue is too ideal; it doesn't exist in reality. If something doesn't exist, I'd rather not have it. That's why I don't date. This doesn't conflict with my respect for love."

"So you don't care if I date someone else?" Shen Yueling asked. "Don't you have any possessiveness toward me?"

"Of course I do, but I haven't possessed you yet, have I? Besides, not dating is my choice, and whether to date or not is yours. A man can't sway a woman just through possessiveness," Yu Heng smiled and added, "As the lyrics say, 'Who can possess Mount Fuji through love alone?'"

"Then what does it depend on?" Shen Yueling asked.

"It depends on your choice. That's why I asked you before if you wanted to accept this kind of relationship."

"How do you know I don't want you as my private possession?" Shen Yueling asked him on purpose.

Yu Heng frowned slightly at her words. "You can want that, but I won't make that choice."

"You're like a piece of gristle, a dead pig that doesn't fear boiling water," Shen Yueling's voice was neutral, as if they were simply having a discussion. "Is this fair?"

"Fair?" Yu Heng smiled faintly. "There isn't much fairness in feelings. If you're willing, it's fair; if you're not, it's unfair."

"What if I were just like you?" Shen Yueling asked again.

"Then that wouldn't work. I can, but you can't. If you don't accept this relationship, you can do whatever you want. But if you accept it, you are my private possession. If you have other ideas, then it can only end. Of course..." Yu Heng looked at her at last. "I adhere to the principle of voluntary consent."

In today's society, aren't feelings entirely based on voluntary consent?

Marriage Laws don't protect feelings; they protect property. Even if people get married, feelings can still crumble, and they can still get divorced.

"I've already agreed," Shen Yueling said. "Once I agree, I won't go back on it."

She asked so much simply because she wanted to understand; what she needed was to be informed.

As for being a "private possession," she didn't actually care that much. In fact, seeing Yu Heng with other women sometimes gave her a strange sense of excitement, in addition to her possessiveness.

"So, you are my private possession," Yu Heng said seriously. "And I will make sure to treat each of you with sincerity."

"The two of us," Shen Yueling curled her lips and murmured, "really are a match made in heaven."

Shen Yueling had both a physical and psychological attraction to Yu Heng.

She didn't want to waste energy exploring whether it was 'love' or not; she wanted to enjoy the present.

Thinking of this, she felt some of her previous awkwardness vanish. Perhaps this was what it meant to be truly prepared.

Yu Heng smiled. "I think so too."

He didn't know what Shen Yueling was thinking yet, or he would have told her that while female cuckqueans weren't common, they certainly weren't non-existent.

The balcony door was pulled open. Light from the living room spilled out, then dimmed again.

Yu Heng and Shen Yueling walked back into the living room, one after the other.

The living room was already empty.

The snack bags had been put in the trash, and the coffee table had been wiped down.

Faint sounds of laughter and doors closing came from the second floor, and it soon became quiet.

"They really did all clear out." Yu Heng glanced at the wall clock; it was almost eleven. "You should go get some sleep too."

Yu Heng stretched his somewhat stiff neck. He had talked a bit too much tonight; it was more tiring than playing games.

"What about you?" Shen Yueling looked at him.

"I'll find a place to squint for a bit too. I still have things to do tomorrow during the day," Yu Heng said, heading toward the stairs. "Let's go up first."

When they reached the third floor, Yu Heng pushed open the ajar door of an empty room. There was a double bed inside.

"No one's in this one." He turned back to Shen Yueling. "Sleep together?"