162: Sharing and bottom line

Ning Yutong stared at her profile for a few seconds before finally asking, "Yue Ling... can you really accept sharing your boyfriend... with others?"

"We're not boyfriend and girlfriend." Shen Yueling turned to look at her. "More like lovers, I suppose. I've already slept with him."

Ning Yutong's eyes widened at the words, her fingers tightening around her teacup.

Last time, Yu Heng had only mentioned watching a movie together, but now they had already gone this far.

"That kind of thing... isn't it only for boyfriends and girlfriends?" Her voice was a bit dry.

"Maybe I've been influenced by him." Shen Yueling fell silent for a few seconds. "I feel now that this kind of thing doesn't necessarily require a conventional relationship like being in love. As long as it's consensual and you take responsibility for your actions, that's enough."

She paused, then added, "Besides, there are feelings between us."

Ning Yutong frowned. She had never thought things could be this way.

After what happened in the car last time, she had been filled with regret.

Regretting that she hadn't stopped him from the beginning, she hadn't slept well for several days afterward, feeling that such a thing was wrong and shouldn't have happened.

But according to what Shen Yueling was saying now, what happened in the car was nothing.

"But..." Ning Yutong pursed her lips. "I still can't accept sharing a boyfriend, and I can't accept this kind of... unusual relationship."

Shen Yueling didn't say anything, only nodding.

She had long expected Ning Yutong to say this; the girl was traditional at heart, wanting a proper romance and exclusive possession.

"Then just adjust your mindset," Shen Yueling said. "Just act like nothing happened. We're still friends."

Her tone was casual as she spoke, but Ning Yutong heard a different meaning. It was a reminder, and also a way of drawing a line.

"Mhm," Ning Yutong responded.

She really did need to adjust her mindset. Yu Heng already had Shen Yueling by his side, and looking at Bai Xinran, it was likely the same for her.

What would it be if she squeezed herself in? To be the third? The fourth?

She didn't want that. No matter how much she liked someone, she wouldn't stoop to such a lowly position.

The whistling of a boiling kettle came from the kitchen. Bai Xinran emerged with the freshly boiled kettle and refilled both of their teacups with hot water.

"Thank you," Ning Yutong said softly.

Watching Bai Xinran's natural demeanor, that sense of awkwardness rose in Ning Yutong's heart again.

How could she be so composed? Didn't she mind at all?

"Sister Xinran," Ning Yutong couldn't help but ask, "What... is your relationship with Yu Heng?"

Bai Xinran looked up, glancing at Shen Yueling first before saying softly, "I am Master's dog."

She said this so naturally that Ning Yutong was stunned.

She had expected to hear an answer like "friends" or "business partners," or perhaps even "lovers," but she hadn't expected such a blunt statement.

Shen Yueling took a sip of tea nearby, not interjecting.

"Dog..." Ning Yutong repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Bai Xinran said. "I listen to him, please him, and make him happy."

Vague thoughts flashed through Ning Yutong's mind. She remembered how Bai Xinran would serve Yu Heng food and tea during their previous group meals, and how she always quietly followed half a step behind him.

So it wasn't shyness or introversion; it was... her role.

"Don't you think..." Ning Yutong chose her words carefully, "that this is a bit... unequal?"

"Why should it be equal?" Bai Xinran countered. "I think this is great. I like it this way."

Ning Yutong opened her mouth but couldn't find the words. She realized she simply couldn't understand this kind of relationship dynamic.

Shen Yueling spoke up then. "Everyone wants different things. A Ling wants a sense of belonging and to be needed, and Yu Heng can give that to her. So, they both get what they want. Of course, they also have feelings for each other."

"And Master can satisfy those needs of mine," Bai Xinran said with a smile. "I like that."

Since there were only girls here now, there were no inhibitions regarding the conversation's depth, and Bai Xinran's personality had returned to its true self.

Being with them was a completely different matter from being with Yu Heng.

Ning Yutong blushed slightly. There were people in her dormitory who were dating, and they would sometimes talk about adult topics. She only ever listened and never participated—mainly because she couldn't, having never even watched a smutty movie!

Yu Heng had said he would watch one with her, but now there was no chance.

"What about you, Yue Ling?" She turned to look at Shen Yueling. "What do you want?"

Shen Yueling was silent for a long time. Did she want all of Yu Heng's love?

She did. But she knew that was impossible.

So she took a step back, asking for intimacy, for equality, and for a special place in his heart.

"What I want is for our years of feelings to continue," Shen Yueling finally said. "And, I also find that kind of thing to be quite addictive."

Ning Yutong frowned. Was that kind of thing really so captivating?

Perhaps. She gave herself the answer, because now she sometimes dreamed about what had happened that day.

But she wanted love, exclusive possession, a formal status, and everything that should come with a traditional relationship.

So perhaps she was destined never to fit into this circle.

"I understand." Ning Yutong took a deep breath. "Let's just be friends. Just like before."

Shen Yueling looked at her and nodded. "Alright."

"But," Ning Yutong asked again, "if you want to do that kind of thing, wouldn't it be fine with a boyfriend? Why..."

Why wrong yourself like this?

"Because of fate. He's great, isn't he? Otherwise, you wouldn't like him either," Bai Xinran said with a smile. "If you don't meet someone, you don't meet them, but when you do, you have to seize the opportunity. Ultimately, it's about whether you can accept this kind of relationship. If we couldn't accept it, we wouldn't have agreed to it just for the sake of 'that kind of thing'."

After Bai Xinran said this, the living room fell silent for a few seconds.

"Alright, time for a shower and then bed," Shen Yueling said as she stood up.

"Okay!" Ning Yutong also stood up. "Sister Xinran, where am I sleeping?"

"Sister Yueling and I are both sleeping in this room," Bai Xinran pointed to her bedroom on the first floor. "Do you want to join us? The bed is quite large."

"Huh?" Ning Yutong was taken aback and said hesitantly, "I'd rather not. Is there a guest room?"

"Then you can stay in the guest room on the second floor," Bai Xinran said with a smile. "Qin Ya usually uses that room. I've already changed the sheets, and there are fresh blankets in the closet. You can just take them out and use them."

"Okay! Thank you, Sister Xinran." Ning Yutong walked straight upstairs, thinking to herself, The two of them are actually sleeping in the same room?

After showering, Ning Yutong lay in bed, recalling Bai Xinran's words.

Ning Yutong bit her lip. If it were purely for those things, she wouldn't accept it.

But that day in the car, she really hadn't cared about anything.

No bottom line, no right or wrong, no sharing or not sharing.

Was she really that kind of person?

Just because of that kind of thing, could she throw away the beliefs she'd held for over a decade? Could she abandon her principles?

Would she?

After a while, she gently reached her hand out... Once she regained her senses, Ning Yutong buried her face in her pillow.

She felt like she was broken.