25: Chapter 25 The kidnappers here are some real talent!
"I don't care how heavy it is!"
The kidnapper's gruff voice came through, making Shen Yuan's ears ring. "Shen Yuan, right? Your woman is in my hands!"
"Don't you dare play any tricks on me!"
"One billion, in non-sequential old bills!"
The kidnapper roared, "Get it ready and deliver it to the trash can!"
Shen Yuan held the phone, fell silent for three seconds, and then let out a sigh of extreme helplessness.
"Mr. Kidnapper, hello!"
Shen Yuan was very polite.
"First of all, Liu Ruyan is not my woman. We don't have a damn thing to do with each other."
"If you want to kill the hostage, go right ahead!"
"Could you plot devices please be a bit more serious, for f*ck's sake?"
Shen Yuan let out a helpless sigh.
If we're following the plot... can you put some heart into it?
Can you be sincere?
I have nothing to do with Liu Ruyan, so where the hell did this kidnapping plot come from?
You just have to force this 'Overbearing CEO falls for poor Girl' plot on me, don't you?
Next, I'm supposed to start preparing the cash, then go on a solo mission, carrying one billion in cash all by myself...
And after a fierce battle, with injuries and 'I protect you, you protect me' stuff...
Then, Liu Ruyan and I will naturally fall in love amidst the hail of bullets and live shamelessly ever after?
But...
Shen Yuan: Which idiot designed this plot?
Can I even carry one billion in cash?
Oh, it seems like the current me actually can!
No, that's not the point. The point is... can this get any more ridiculous?
"Shen Yuan, don't play tricks!"
The kidnapper roared, "I'm telling you..."
"Tell me my foot!"
Shen Yuan yawned. "Big brother kidnapper, listen up. Let me do some math for you..."
"A hundred-yuan bill weighs about 1.15 grams. Based on that calculation..."
"One billion in cash would be ten million bills!"
"The weight is approximately 11.5 tons!"
"That's about twenty-three adult pigs, or six or seven family cars!"
Shen Yuan said each word deliberately, then cursed, "Are you f*cking brain-dead?"
"A trash can? Trash can your ass!"
"Whose trash can can f*cking hold one billion?"
"How big is your misunderstanding of trash cans?"
"And, old bills..."
"Old bills my ass! Who keeps that much cash at home nowadays?"
"One billion in cash? Does my family run a money-printing factory?"
"Even if I went to the bank to withdraw it, they'd need to use counting machines for over a dozen hours!"
"Brother, with your logic..."
"You're really not cut out to be a kidnapper."
Shen Yuan spoke persuasively, "I suggest you quit immediately. Stop being a kidnapper and go back home to farm!"
The kidnapper went silent.
He probably realized he was quite brain-dead.
After a long while...
The kidnapper's voice came through again. The previous ruthlessness was gone, replaced by a bit of grievance and confusion. "Then you tell me, how are you going to give me the billion?"
Shen Yuan was stunned by the question, then he chuckled.
"Why should I give it to you?"
Shen Yuan asked curiously, "Liu Ruyan isn't my woman. You're asking me for money? All I can say is..."
"Not in this lifetime!"
Shen Yuan laughed.
Kidnapper: "..."
Wasn't this Girl supposed to be the apple of Shen Yuan's eye?
Why now...
"Mr. Kidnapper, do you have any more questions?"
Shen Yuan asked very politely, "If there are no more questions, I'm hanging up now!"
Kidnapper: "..."
"I'm killing the hostage!"
The kidnapper was completely out of options and said.
"Okay!"
Shen Yuan was refined and polite as he gently picked his ear. "Anyway, if you kill her, you're just clearing out some trash for society!"
"But, Mr. Kidnapper..."
"Murder is a serious crime!"
"Is it worth spending the rest of your life for a piece of trash?"
Shen Yuan smiled. "Goodbye, Mr. Kidnapper. I'm going to hang up and call the police now!"
"P-Psychopath!"
The kidnapper cursed angrily, his voice full of grievance and rage, yet helpless.
Shen Yuan hung up and sent the phone number to Uncle Gou.
"Uncle Gou, help me check the general location of this number!"
Chu Yang squinted at Shen Yuan and raised his middle finger.
"What are you doing?" Shen Yuan squinted back.
Chu Yang snorted coldly. "Pah, scumbag!"
"You said you wouldn't care about Liu Ruyan, but now you're tracking the location..."
"...and then going to save her!"
Chu Yang turned his head away. "You hypocrite!"
"Aren't I doing this for villain points?"
Shen Yuan said with a smile, "After all, I can farm forty thousand in one night!"
Chu Yang took a deep breath. "With me, you farm more than forty thousand a night!"
Shen Yuan shrugged. "I can't bear to hit you!"
Chu Yang's face twitched. He turned his head back expressionlessly. "Crazy!"
"I'm leaving!"
Chu Yang stood up and strolled out.
Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow. "You have to go save Liu Ruyan!"
Chu Yang's steps faltered. He whipped his head around, his face full of question marks.
He pointed at his own nose in confusion.
Me?
"Why should I!?"
Chu Yang jumped up like a cat that had its tail stepped on, his fur bristling.
"After all, you just left an impression on her heart!"
"You are my dearest friend, my blood brother!"
"That's going to cost extra!"
Shen Yuan snapped his fingers. "You need to fight me for the Shen Family inheritance!"
"Hmph!"
Chu Yang turned his head awkwardly. "Stop playing around. Just kill Liu Ruyan and be done with it!"
Shen Yuan spread his hands. "I'm still young. I don't want to go down the path of crime!"
"You had Uncle Gou track the phone... that's already a crime!" Chu Yang roared.
"As long as I don't commit big crimes, frequent small mistakes are fine."
Shen Yuan licked his lips. "This is called living on the edge of the rules, get it?"
Chu Yang: "..."
Why does it feel like what he's saying makes so much sense!
Very soon...
Uncle Gou's message arrived.
The power of money was displayed to the fullest; in just a few minutes, the phone number's location had been pinpointed.
"Young Master, it's located. It's in an Abandoned chemical plant in the Northern Suburbs. The location is quite remote, with no one around."
Shen Yuan looked at the message, a mischievous smile curling on his lips. He waved at Chu Yang and said in a light tone, "An Abandoned chemical plant in the Northern Suburbs. Go, Pikachu! The mission to save the world is in your hands!"
Chu Yang: "..."
He now wanted to twist Shen Yuan's head off and kick it like a ball.
"Fine, I'll help you one more time!!"
Chu Yang checked the location and turned to leave.
"Wait, find Uncle Gou and call eight Bodyguards!"
Shen Yuan lay on the bed and shouted at Chu Yang's back.
Damn it, if an Overbearing CEO novel doesn't have a kidnapping, it's a disgrace to the plot, isn't it?
Do plot devices really have to follow the script?
Time passed...
In the blink of an eye, the night was over.
Supposedly...
Word has it that when Chu Yang arrived at the Abandoned chemical plant with the Bodyguard team, the scene was once quite awkward.
The kidnappers weren't killing anyone or forcing Liu Ruyan to make calls. Instead, they were sitting around her, earnestly trying to persuade her.
To stop with the whole 'Overbearing CEO falls for her' drama.
To this, Shen Yuan expressed...
The kidnapper is a real talent!
The kidnapper's values are actually those of a f*cking normal person?
This kidnapper is a talent!