2: Chapter 2 Brothers, here comes the live target!

The sun was high in the sky, and sunlight streamed through the shattered window opening, mercilessly hitting Jiang You in the face.

"Mmm..."

Jiang You frowned and rolled over, habitually trying to stretch.

The next second.

"Holy shit!"

A scream echoed through the rented apartment.

Jiang You froze on the bed, cold sweat instantly breaking out.

Pain.

It hurt like hell.

It felt like he had been run over back and forth eight hundred times by a fully loaded dump truck last night, and then tossed into a tumble dryer to be spun dry.

Especially his Legs; they felt so sore, it was as if all the muscle fibers had tied themselves into knots.

"What's going on?"

Jiang You winced as he sat up, rubbing his thighs: "Did I dream I went on a pilgrimage to the West? Why do I feel like I walked a hundred and eight thousand li..."

He opened his eyes groggily, his vision focusing.

The first thing that came into view was a huge human-shaped hole in the wall directly opposite, with two shards of broken glass still hanging from the edge.

A cold breeze was whistling through it.

"Was I robbed?!"

Jiang You instantly sobered up and hurriedly felt under his pillow.

The phone was still there, and the staggering sum of 36.5 yuan in his bank account balance was still there.

Phew, that's good; his life and livelihood were safe.

After confirming his property was safe, he noticed a pile of miscellaneous things on the bedside table.

A muddy, purplish-looking "giant radish."

An ostrich egg that was glowing red with strange patterns on its surface, distorting the air around it with heat.

And a broken metal sign with a few blood-red characters written on it: [S-Rank Forbidden Zone... Trespassers... Die!]

Jiang You picked up the metal plate and scratched his head: "S-Rank Scenic Area? Advertisements nowadays are really hardcore. To promote a tourist attraction, they're even using this kind of fear marketing?"

He tossed it aside. Clang!

The warning sign, forged from deep-sea sunken silver, smashed a hole directly into the floor tile.

He picked up the purple "radish" again.

"What is this? What kind of thief is so considerate that they leave behind local specialties after an attempted burglary?"

Jiang You leaned in and sniffed it.

It had a smell of dirt and even a hint of something burnt.

"It looks like a defective ginseng that was shipped by mistake from a nine-ninety-nine free shipping deal; it's even a bit dried out."

Finally, his gaze fell on the red egg.

This egg was hot to the touch, just like a hand warmer.

Just then. "Grumble—" his stomach protested.

After being expelled from the academy yesterday, Jiang You hadn't even eaten dinner, and now he was so hungry his stomach was sticking to his back.

Jiang You glanced at the box of instant noodles in the corner, then back at the "radish" and the "hand-warmer egg" in his hands.

A bold idea emerged in his mind.

"Anyway, I'm almost unable to afford food; this radish should be edible if I wash it, right? And this egg... if it's real, it can supplement some protein."

As a top-tier lazy bum, as long as it's edible, he wouldn't be picky.

...

Five minutes later.

The smell of braised beef noodles wafted from the narrow kitchen of the rented apartment.

The water boiled. Jiang You held the [Ten-Thousand-Year Thunder Spirit Ginseng] and tried to break it to throw it into the pot. He used force. It didn't budge.

This thing was as hard as steel rebar.

"Hey? This radish is pretty tough?"

Jiang You's temper flared.

But what Jiang You didn't know was that, at this moment, his [Right Hand] suddenly trembled with excitement.

A terrifying, monstrous strength instantly flooded into his palm.

"Snap!"

The priceless Ten-Thousand-Year Thunder Spirit Ginseng, which would make various powerhouses fight tooth and nail for it, was snapped into two by Jiang You as easily as breaking chopsticks.

Purple juice splattered, and tiny electric arcs seemed to be dancing within it.

"Tsk, the fibers are a bit thick, probably going to get stuck in my teeth."

Jiang You disdainfully threw the two pieces of Thunder Spirit Ginseng into the instant noodle cup.

Next was the [S-Rank Fire Dragon Egg].

This was a Beast King egg possessing a trace of pure-blooded dragon genes! If placed at an auction, the starting price would be one hundred million!

Jiang You took the egg and tapped it against the stove. It didn't break. The stove cracked.

"Are free-range eggshells this thick these days?"

Jiang You increased his force. The [Right Hand] violated the rules again, adding a layer of hidden power.

"Crack!" The eggshell shattered.

A flow of bright red, viscous egg liquid like magma poured out. The moment it fell into the instant noodle cup, it made a loud "sizzle," as if a ladle of water had been poured into boiling oil.

A rich, suffocating aroma instantly exploded.

"Whoa! This yolk is red enough; looks like it was a legitimate free-range chicken."

Jiang You covered the instant noodles and placed a book titled "How to Be Kept by a Rich Woman" on top.

...

Three minutes later. Jiang You lifted the lid.

The originally bland, clear-broth braised beef noodles now had a golden-red soup base, with flashes of purple lightning streaking through it from time to time.

"I'm digging in."

Jiang You picked up a piece of the Thunder Spirit Ginseng and took a bite. Crunchy!

It was like chewing Pop Rocks, a tingling sensation shooting straight to the top of his head.

Immediately after, he took a sip of the noodle soup mixed with the Fire Dragon egg liquid. Hot!

Not just normally hot, but a line of fire burning straight down his throat into his stomach.

"Ssss—hah—! This noodle has a kick! It's spicy enough!"

Jiang You ate until he was covered in sweat, shouting that it was satisfying.

But at this very moment, inside Jiang You's body, it had already turned into a complete mess. That wasn't eating; that was a nuclear leak site!

[Internal Chat Group (99+)]

[Stomach] (screaming): "Alarm! Alarm! High-energy reaction detected! This isn't fucking beef noodles! This is magma! This is thunder-plasma! I'm going to be melted!"

[liver] (adjusting its glasses, instantly entering a crazed work mode): "Stop yelling! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Brothers, we've got a big job!"

"Run at full power! Intercept all this energy! Don't waste a single bit!"

"Break down toxins? Break down my ass! This is all 99.9% pure divine essence! Convert! Convert it all into Qi and blood for me!"

[Kidney] (like a starving ghost reincarnated): "Mine! It's all mine! This fire attribute is too pure! I'm going to store them in the Kidneys; nobody fight me for it!"

"And that thunder-lightning power, don't expel it! Save it to temper the meridians!"

[Heart] (pumping blood frantically): "Thump, thump, thump! I'm burning up too! Accelerate circulation! Deliver this energy to every cell in the body! Fast, fast, fast! The current flow rate is fifty times the usual, everyone hold on tight!"

Outside. Jiang You finished the last bite of noodles, even drinking the soup clean. He burped. "Burp—"

If anyone were nearby at this moment, they would definitely be scared into kneeling. Because the breath Jiang You exhaled was actually a golden arrow of Qi, which directly punched a small hole through the opposite wall!

His Skin turned bright red, pores opened, and black impurities were frantically expelled like mud. Immediately after, they were instantly evaporated into ash by the high heat.

[liver]: "Impurity removal progress: 100%!" "Meridian widening progress: 500%!" "Qi and blood value is soaring... 0.8... 10... 50... 100... It's off the charts! Never mind, compress! Compress the Qi and blood into liquid for me!"

Jiang You only felt warm all over, as if soaking in a hot spring. That soreness disappeared, replaced by an unprecedented sense of ease, as if he had shed heavy shackles.

"Comfortable." Jiang You's eyes were hazy; he threw the instant noodle cup away and flopped onto the bed. "Eating until full and then feeling sleepy is a human instinct."

Just as he was about to fall asleep again. The [Right Hand] suddenly spoke up in the group: "Everyone, the energy is too full, right? I've finished charging too. Now I feel like I can punch through an aircraft carrier."

"But my hand is a bit itchy." "This power is bottled up and uncomfortable; I really want to find something to smack."

[Legs]: "Endure it; Master is going to sleep again."

Just then. "Bang!" A loud noise. The flimsy door of the rented apartment was kicked open by someone.

Amidst the flying dust, an arrogant figure wearing a designer suit and slicked-back hair walked in, followed by two yellow-haired lackeys.

The person who arrived was none other than Zhao Tai, the suitor of Jiang You's ex-girlfriend, Lin Ya.

Zhao Tai covered his nose, looking at the room with a face full of disgust: "Tsk, tsk, tsk, what is this smell? It's a mix of sweat and instant noodles; it's practically a pigsty."

His gaze swept over Jiang You, who was dead to the world on the bed, and a cruel smile curled at the corners of his mouth: "Jiang You, I originally intended to let you fend for yourself. But Xiao Ya said she was afraid you'd pester her, so I came specifically to teach you a lesson."

On the bed, Jiang You slowly opened his eyes.

The grogginess from being disturbed while sleeping, combined with the unvented prehistoric power of the [Right Hand]. The air suddenly became scorched.

[Right Hand]: "Brothers, the living target is here! This face shape, this angle—it's a perfect fit for my palm print!"