9: Chapter 9 Am I a psychopathic sleepwalking serial killer?

Before he had finished speaking, Jiang You's [Right Hand] had already snatched the pen and scribbled his name with a flurry of strokes.

The handwriting was bold and flamboyant, revealing an impatient eagerness.

Jiang You: ...

...

Half an hour later.

The fire brigade extinguished the fire.

Fortunately, the zixiao thunder bamboo itself was an energy construct; after releasing that wave of energy, it had quieted down and now looked just like a charred black stick.

Jiang You stood amidst the chaotic ruins, packing his luggage.

Actually, there wasn't much to pack; his clothes had all been burned away, leaving only the spongebob pajamas he was wearing.

Fortunately, that black stick and the unbroken half-bottle of toilet cleaner remained.

Jiang You found a woven plastic bag, stuffed the black stick inside, and threw the half-bottle of thunder slurry in as well.

"This stick is quite sturdy; I'll keep it as a clothes drying pole. Although this purple potion smells pungent, it seems to be able to sterilize, so I'll take it."

Teacher Gu Yan stood at the doorway, watching Jiang You stuff what was suspected to be an S-rank supreme treasure into a woven plastic bag like it was trash, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

He really wanted to ask what that was.

But seeing Jiang You's calm expression that said "this is just junk," he felt that he was overthinking it.

How could anyone use zixiao thunder bamboo as a clothes drying pole?

It must be some kind of fire poker that just happened to look like it.

Jiang You sighed helplessly, hoisted the woven plastic bag onto his shoulder, and looked at Teacher Gu Yan, the admissions office special envoy who was smiling brilliantly in front of him: "Um... Teacher Gu, right? You saw it too; my house exploded, but my current priority is to find a bridge arch to crash under for the night."

Having transmigrated to this world for three years, Jiang You had long since learned to go with the flow.

Three years ago, when his soul had just transmigrated here, he had also once fantasized about being the chosen one.

After all, this was a high-martial arts world where the strong could break the sound barrier with their physical bodies and shatter mountains and rivers with a single punch.

He thought he would be like a novel protagonist, awakening a system, counterattacking all the way, and marrying a wealthy beauty.

The reality, however, was that no system arrived, no cheat code sounded, only the cruel reality of having to get up at five every morning to practice martial arts.

Practicing was too tiring, meditation made his Legs numb, and he had to go into the wilderness to risk his life against those alien-looking demonic beasts.

Jiang You tried for a month and decisively gave up.

"Screw the martial arts dream; I just want to sleep."

It was during that period that he attracted the school beauty, Lin Ya, with his reasonably handsome face and this melancholic temperament of "having seen through the red dust."

Lin Ya thought Jiang You was a hidden dragon in the abyss, the kind of reclusive genius who was unwilling to bicker with ordinary people.

As it turned out, after dating for two years, Lin Ya finally discovered that this guy Jiang You was not a hidden dragon, but a real dead pig.

Yesterday's breakup was to be expected.

As for that Zhao Tai, he was just a fly buzzing around Lin Ya, and Jiang You hadn't taken him to Heart at all.

"Student Jiang, there is no need to look for a bridge arch."

Teacher Gu Yan pushed up his gold-rimmed glasses, his gaze sweeping over the dirty woven plastic bag on Jiang You's shoulder, with not a hint of disgust in his eyes:

"There are still three months until the official start of Magic City Martial Arts University. To ensure the quality of life for special recruits, I have a vacant detached villa in the Zijin Villa, a wealthy area in Jiangcheng. If you don't mind, you can stay there for these three months."

"A villa?"

Jiang You's dead fish eyes opened a tiny crack, "Is it free?"

"Completely free. There is also top-tier housekeeping service, and three meals a day are provided by a Michelin chef specializing in demonic beast medicinal cuisine."

Seeing that Jiang You was interested, Teacher Gu Yan decisively cast the bait: "Moreover, the beds there are custom-made from imported latex; they are definitely more comfortable than your original wooden bed."

[Internal Chat Group]

[stomach (drooling)]: "Michelin! Medicinal cuisine! Agree to it! Hurry up and agree! I've eaten so much instant noodles I'm sick of them!"

[Legs]: "The beds in the wealthy area... they must be the kind of soft beds you sink into and can't get out of, right? I want to go! I want to go!"

[Brain]: "Analysis complete. The other party has ulterior motives, but the material conditions provided cannot be refused. Recommendation: Get it for free."

Jiang You swallowed his saliva, tightened his grip on the woven plastic bag on his shoulder, and forcibly maintained his composure: "Actually, I don't have any requirements for material life... it's mainly that bed; is it really soft enough?"

Teacher Gu Yan smiled: "A cloud-like experience."

"Deal."

Jiang You agreed crisply and decisively.

...

The luxury car drove on the road toward the wealthy area.

The car cabin was very quiet, but Jiang You's Heart was pounding.

He looked at the scenery receding outside the window, his mind constantly replaying the unlucky guy he saw hanging on the streetlamp yesterday morning, as well as the huge sum of money that had inexplicably appeared in his pocket.

"That person wouldn't really be someone I hung up there, right?"

"Could it be... that I have sleepwalking disorder?"

"But don't people usually just roll over or go to the fridge to find something to eat when they sleepwalk? I wouldn't turn into a murderous maniac while sleepwalking, would I?"

Thinking of this, Jiang You felt a bit restless. He decided to probe a little.

"Um... Teacher Gu."

Jiang You swallowed, his voice revealing a trace of imperceptible guilt: "Let's speak plainly. My blood-qi value is only 0.8 on my file, and the whole school knows I'm a sleeping god. On what basis do you conclude... that it was me who hung that person on the streetlamp?"

"Is there a possibility... I mean, a possibility, that you guys made a mistake? Or that it was done by some other passing expert?"

Hearing this, Teacher Gu Yan glanced at Jiang You through the rearview mirror.

In his eyes, Jiang You was testing his intelligence-gathering ability, or perhaps modestly concealing his own edge.

"Student Jiang, you are too cautious."

Teacher Gu Yan pulled the car over to the side of the road, calmly took a tablet computer out of his briefcase, and pulled up a video and a test report.

"Our Magic City Martial Arts University admissions never rely on guessing. Look at this."

Jiang You leaned over to take a look, and suddenly his vision went black, his Heart almost stopped beating.

The video was surveillance footage from the intersection.

Although it was the night infrared mode and the image quality was a bit blurry, one could still clearly see a man wearing spongebob pajamas, holding a clothes hanger in his hand, dragging that killer like a dead dog, and then fluidly hanging him on the streetlamp.

The large spongebob smiling face on the back of the pajamas was practically glowing under the night vision device.

Jiang You looked down at the same style of pajamas he was wearing, which he hadn't had time to change: "..."

Teacher Gu Yan swiped to the next page: "And this. Although there were no fingerprints on the clothes hanger, we recovered a sock that had been stuffed into the mouth of the killer, Viper."

"After DNA comparison, this sock belongs to you. I think it must have been something you stuffed in on the fly to prevent him from shouting, right?"

Jiang You: "..."

Social death.

Complete social death.

It's over, it's confirmed.

So I not only sleepwalk, but I also sleepwalk out to commit crimes! And I even stuffed a sock in someone's mouth?

Am I a pervert?

Teacher Gu Yan looked at Jiang You's face, which was turning red and then white, clearly embarrassed after being exposed, but he showed an "I understand you" expression of admiration.

"Using the softest sock to defeat the sharpest dagger. Wearing the most innocent pajamas while carrying out the most ruthless methods."

"This must be the legendary 'great music is soundless, great form is shapeless,' right? Student Jiang, in terms of humiliating your opponents, you are simply a master of psychological warfare!"

Jiang You's mouth twitched, and the cold sweat on his back was almost soaking through his pajamas.

He could only let out two dry laughs, trying to hide his inner panic: "Heh... hehe... Teacher Gu, you flatter me. I also didn't expect that the sock hadn't been washed and that it would be so potent."