39: Chapter 39 School Registration: I Fell Asleep on the Statue's Head

Magic City No.1 Martial Arts University, at the school gate.

Magnificent.

It could only be described as magnificent.

Two white marble pillars, a hundred meters high, towered into the clouds. Between them hung a massive plaque inscribed with the four gold-plated characters "Magic City Martial Arts University", every stroke imbued with breathtaking sword intent.

It is said that these were carved by hand by the first principal, that legendary Martial Saint.

At this moment, the school gate was a sea of people, with luxury cars gathered everywhere.

The proudest geniuses from all over the country had gathered here.

Some rode mutated warhorses, some sat in their family's private aircraft, and the least impressive among them were driving million-dollar luxury cars, with several butlers following behind to carry their luggage.

However, everyone's gaze was drawn to a strange person.

A somewhat dilapidated spiritual energy bus pulled up to the stop.

The doors opened, and a youth wearing a pilling spongebob pajama set, flip-flops, and carrying a tattered snake-skin bag on his shoulder, yawned as he stepped down.

The piece of zixiao thunder bamboo sticking out from his bag accidentally caught on the door, making a crisp sound.

"Excuse me, pardon me..."

Jiang You looked at the endless line for registration ahead with blurred eyes, feeling a sense of despair.

"So many people..."

"When will this line end?"

"I'm so sleepy... I couldn't get any sleep on the bus because of all the bumping..."

Jiang You shuffled forward with the crowd.

This was Magic City, not Jiang City.

There were no priority lanes; all freshmen had to queue up in person to have their iris information recorded.

Ten minutes passed.

Jiang You had moved two meters.

Twenty minutes passed.

Jiang You had moved another meter.

In this environment filled with anxiety, excitement, and spiritual power fluctuations, Jiang You's eyelids grew heavier and heavier, his head bobbing as if he were fishing.

Finally, just as the fat man in front of him was arguing with the teacher over paperwork issues.

Jiang You, while standing, blacked out.

"Hoo..."

The moment Jiang You's consciousness went offline.

The "ADHD patients" inside his body went into an episode.

[Internal Chat Group]

[Legs (Extremely Irritated)]:

"Can't take it anymore! Can't take it anymore!"

"This is too slow! This turtle-speed crawling is an insult to my god-tier Legs!"

"The air here is too foul! It's all sweat and the smell of those cheap perfumes!"

"I want to breathe! I want to go to a high place! I want to go to a place with fresh air to sleep!"

[Kidneys]:

"Agreed! It's too crowded down here, easy to get my Kidneys squashed!"

[Brain (Scanning Environment)]:

"Searching for high ground..."

"Target locked: 200 meters directly ahead, 80 meters in height."

"The top of that stone man's head is flat, spacious, has a wide view, and no one will disturb us."

"It's a perfect open-air suite."

[Legs]:

"Alright! Let's go!"

In reality.

The queuing crowd was as packed as a can of sardines.

Suddenly, a blur shot up into the air.

"Whoosh—!!"

No one saw what happened.

They only felt a gust of wind blow past, and the pajama-clad youth who had been in the queue was gone.

Jiang You's body traced a graceful arc in the air that defied gravity.

With his eyes closed and the snake-skin bag on his shoulder, he lightly tapped his toes on the tops of the crowded people's heads, like a dragonfly skimming the water, borrowing force to soar into the sky.

Then, stepping on the hundred-meter-high white marble pillar, he shot straight into the clouds as if walking on flat ground.

Finally.

Under the gaze of everyone, he landed steadily on the head of the statue of the first principal, the Martial Saint—the symbol of Magic City Martial Arts University's highest honor, sacred and inviolable.

The statue was of an old man with a shaved head, looking solemn.

Jiang You found a comfortable position, used the snake-skin bag as a pillow on the old man's head, and curled up on the statue's crown.

He even hooked his feet onto the statue's ears because he felt the bald head was too slippery.

"Hoo... ru..."

With the breeze brushing his face, Jiang You slept even more soundly.

...

At the school gate, there was a deathly silence.

Thousands of freshmen, parents, the upperclassmen in charge of reception, and the security guards at the gate all tilted their heads back, mouths agape.

"Holy... crap..."

Someone's admission letter dropped from their hand.

"What is that guy... doing?"

"Is he... sleeping on the Martial Saint's head?!"

"He's using the Martial Saint's head as a bed?! And using a snake-skin bag as a pillow?!"

Blasphemy!

This was naked blasphemy!

This was the spiritual totem of Magic City Martial Arts University! Even students passing by usually bowed in respect!

Now, someone was actually riding on its head?

And it was a guy wearing spongebob pajamas?

Just then, a roar exploded like thunder.

"How audacious!!!"

A terrifying pressure of a Tier 5 Grandmaster erupted from within the campus.

An old man in a Zhongshan suit, with gray hair but a vigorous spirit, brought a group of school leaders and teleported to the base of the statue in a fit of rage.

This was none other than the current principal of Magic City Martial Arts University, Principal Pang Ban.

Principal Pang's beard was shaking as he pointed at the snoring figure on top of the statue:

"Which freshman is so bold!"

"Get down here! Immediately! Right now! Otherwise, I'll expel you directly! Blacklist you from the entire industry!"

The principal's roar was mixed with the power of a Lion's Roar, the sound waves rolling and surging straight into the sky.

On top of the statue.

Jiang You, who was dreaming about eating barbecue skewers, was jolted awake by this sudden thunder.

"Hmm? Is it thundering? Is it going to rain?"

Jiang You rubbed his eyes groggily, wanting to turn over.

As a result, his body tilted, and he almost slid off.

Startled, he quickly grabbed the statue's ears to steady himself.

Only then did he see his current situation clearly.

High.

It was really too high.

Looking down, the dense crowd of heads looked like ants.

And he was riding on a giant stone bald head.

Directly below, a fierce-looking old man was pointing at him and roaring; reading his lips, it seemed like he was saying words like "expulsion" and "death penalty".

Jiang You: "..."

Cold sweat instantly soaked his spongebob pajamas.

Who am I? Where am I? Why am I on top of the founding father's head?

It's over! This is digging a grave on the head of Tai Sui!

Jiang You was panicking inside.

Must apologize! Must immediately slide-kneel and apologize!

As long as my attitude is sincere enough, maybe I can keep my enrollment!

Jiang You stood up tremblingly while holding onto the statue's ears, took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and prepared to shout: "I'm sorry, Principal! I was sleepwalking just now! I'm sick! I'll come down and wipe it clean right now!"

However.

The moment he opened his mouth.

His throat... froze.

Not only was his throat frozen, but his facial muscles also felt like they had been injected with an overdose of Botox, instantly stiffening into an "expressionless, unfathomable" look.

[Internal Chat Group]

[Brain (Extremely Calm)]:

"Alert. The host is about to face social death and the risk of expulsion."

"Although the host really wants to drop out, we do not allow it."

"The spiritual energy concentration here is too fragrant; the Kidneys and stomach can't leave this place. We absolutely cannot be driven away."

[Kidneys]:

"That's right! I want to stay here! I want to eat the buffet! No one is allowed to drive me away!"

[Brain]:

"Calculating the optimal solution..."

"Explanations are useless. Apologizing will only make us look weak."

"Since we are already riding on his head, we must see it through to the end."

"As long as our 'vibe' is high enough, this is enlightenment. If we cower, this is hooliganism."

"Everyone, get ready!"

"Initiating [Peerless Expert Disguise Mode]."

"Lungs, take over the vocal cords, turn on the reverb effect."

"Heart, release simulated pressure, turn intensity to the maximum."

"Facial muscles, freeze, don't let this Slacker Ruler make a crying expression."

In reality.

Principal Pang was just about to fly up himself to grab this madman down.

Suddenly.

The youth on top of the statue moved.

He didn't climb down in a panic, nor did he kneel and beg for mercy.

Instead, he slowly stood up.

That somewhat ridiculous spongebob pajama set, flapping in the wind at a hundred meters high, was actually worn by him with the air of a Taoist immortal in flowing robes.

Jiang You was terrified to discover that he couldn't control his own mouth!

He wanted to shout "I'm sorry", but his vocal cords vibrated uncontrollably, emitting a low, deep, and resonant voice with built-in reverb.

Jiang You's inner thoughts: "Help! Mouth! What's wrong with you, mouth! Don't say random things!"

He looked down from above with an indifferent gaze, as if he had seen through the secular world, overlooking the masses at his feet.

Including that enraged principal.

[Lungs (Turning on Subwoofer + Echo)]: "What are you making noise about?"

Jiang You opened his mouth.

The voice wasn't loud, but it seemed to explode in everyone's ears, carrying a kind of ancient desolation and majesty.