Chapter 402: All That Glitters

The tales spoken of the Witch of Calamity were as black as the mosaics left behind.Untrusting of oil canvases and parchment scrolls, those who had witnessed the woe of witchly flames had instead carved the memory into the foundations of the land. 

Within tombs, dungeons and cellars older than the flags of my kingdom, the collapse of nameless empires was both recorded and predicted. Yet of all the depictions of scorched walls and undying flames, few ever etched the image of the Witch of Calamity herself.

The reason was clear.

Calamity, as it turned out, was excessively garish.

I winced as Marina began to glow. 

A shining radiance exuded from her defeated figure, dousing everything in a golden spectrum of light. 

The hair which had previously boasted enough blots of a palette to bleed into the fashion sensibilities of my subjects became a single shade of sunlight, while her eyes were flushed with so much magic that the silver hue of her irises could be seen reflecting all that she looked at.

That was currently her knees. And also the hem of the dress sewing itself to a wave of embers.

The flames no longer surrounded her. 

They adorned her. 

Whatever muddy robes or shop apron she’d worn before, it was now replaced by a flowing garment so luminous that no amount of sequins could match it. It joined the burning crown upon her head, twinkling like the stars they ushered away.

A change had come.

Not of black flames and searing darkness. But a light more feverish. More indiscriminate. 

The cocoon known as Marina Lainsfont had fractured. 

What replaced her was a woman forged of calamity in its purest form. A blinding radiance which dispelled the shadows, washing a diminutive garden in so much light that every hole and all the badgers peeking out from them could be seen more clearly than in the day.

The curse of calamity had begun to take root, born of the deepest despair.

And all I could do … was groan.

Why, out of all the reasons for a Witch of Calamity to pay lip service to the countless prophecies officially detailing our doom, dissatisfaction over her hair was the only one I wanted to avoid!

Anything else was fine! This was not!

“Excuse me!” I said, utterly exasperated as I shielded my eyes. “Desist this at once! You are not to surrender to any ancient curses flowing through your blood just because your hair looks like a confused lantern!”

Indeed, even thinking about it was humiliating! 

There were so many reasons for my kingdom to inexplicably burn down! … And almost all of them were the unsupervised bonfires we held outside the Granholtz ambassador’s official residence in order to celebrate the day’s latest invented tradition! 

“Oooh~” Coppelia hopped as she applauded, her clockwork eyes having no difficulty taking in the spectacle. “This. Is. Amazing!”

“C-Coppelia?!”

“Look! She’s making her final transformation because she’s embarrassed! I didn’t know that was a prerequisite!”

“It most certainly is not! … Why, I refuse to have her set fire to my kingdom because of her vanity! That’s something a princess would do!”

Coppelia giggled.

I hardly saw why. It was the least of expectations.

“I mean, it’s not even that bad, right? I bet people will love it as soon as they stop staring because they think all that glowing is from a pixie living in her hair.”

“Exactly! It might be embarrassing, but so is being a commoner!”

“She’s basically a trendsetter. Everyone will be copying her soon.”  

“There you have it.” I leaned down, waving to catch a depressed mage’s attention. “My loyal handmaiden who’s far too generous speaks truly. Once the stablegirls have grown bored of dousing their hair in luminous potions while you’re still forced to attract every confused moth towards you, they’ll simply think of you as being a fashion pariah who’s unable to move on from the times. Nobody will stare. In fact, they’ll deliberately avoid you.” 

“Nnnnghhh …”

Marina let out a small groan, her golden aura mysteriously becoming more pronounced. 

I raised my arms in grief.

“Really now! I understand it’s tempting to turn into a ball of light so you can skip around blinding everyone at will–that’s perfectly normal! But if you’re going to transcend your mortal limits, can you at least become something more recognisable? For the supposed Witch of Calamity, you don’t even have a pointy hat!”

I duly waited for her golden raiment to change.

It didn’t.

In fact, all I saw were additional details being added. 

A knotted ribbon around the waist. A regal sash falling from the shoulder. A frill here and there. 

But most of all–

Fwish.

A luminous pair of wings.

Resplendent in colours of white and gold, a pair of dove-like wings appeared from her back with a hail of falling feathers. They danced as they fell, yet although no searing flames engulfed them, they scorched the garden where they landed before melting through the very soil.

I was appalled.

But not just because she’d managed to sprout wings before me.

Rather, I was horrified over the fact that she was … smiling.

Miss Racy Corset never smiled.

She cackled, tutted, snorted and frowned. But she never smiled.

It was … terrible!

“Heheh … hehehe …”

Marina giggled as she raised her head.

Her shining eyes weren’t directed at me. 

Instead, they were peering up at the heavens as she clasped her hands together in the pose of a praying sister. The golden radiance spilling from her only increased as a look of uncharacteristic piousness came over her.

I turned to my side at once.

“Coppelia.”

“Yes?”

“If she sets my kingdom on fire, I want it known that it was due to a lifetime of enmity garnered as a result of stifling authority and brutal taxation at the hands of my family. Embellish us as required. At no point is it to be known that all of this is because she’s very sensitive when it comes to her appearance.”

“Got it~!”

I nodded in satisfaction. 

If the worst was to come, our place in history was secure.

A problem, then.

I didn’t actually know what the worst actually was.

“I understand now.”

“... Excuse me?”

Marina took a deep breath.

Still upon her knees, the smile she offered was enough to cause even the badgers to stop peeking.

“I’ve been foolish. Arrogant. Ignorant. All this time, I had denied my blood, labelling it as a curse. In truth, it is a blessing. My blood is my own. And what I do with it is decided by me alone. To deny it is crude. To reject it is a sin. With this power afforded to me, I can cleanse the stains which haunt the legacy of my predecessors. I can restore balance to all things. I can shepherd the steps of the very world.”

I gasped in horror. 

This … This was even worse than I expected!

The shameless ode to righteousness! The sudden discarding of her personality!

If we didn’t stop her now … the speeches would last weeks, no … even months! That was more than enough time for her to become a tourist attraction! 

“Oh no … Coppelia, this is terrible!”

“You think so? I like this. She’s moved on from cackling to talking about restoring balance! That’s the kind of ominousness missing from before. I’m so proud of her! Of the 5 stages of villainy, this is definitely the 4th.”

I paused.

“... Excuse me? There are 5 stages of villainy?”

“Yup! She’s just finished with convincing herself that everything is for the greater good. I’m pretty sure this is the blowing up everything phase now. Want to know what comes next?”

I shook my head … just as I raised Starlight Grace.

“Unnecessary. I already know what it is. Remorse.”

Coppelia let out a giggle.

Clap.

Immediately, the sight of a moonlit scythe swirling with its own shadowy mist appeared between her palms. Yet the darkness which usually accompanied it was absent. Whatever magic had forged her weapon, it failed to pierce the golden light searching for the non-existent blemishes on my face.

My loyal handmaiden required no instructions. 

With a twirl of her scythe, she set her wide smile upon the woman distracted by her own thoughts of wholesale world domination just to avoid being pointed at. And this time, it wouldn’t be a [Coppelia Bonk] which invited that 5th stage of villainy.

“Okay! Time for me to be amazing!”

Coppelia slid her heel back.

And then–

Her figure vanished in the blink of an eye, leaving nothing but the swinging ends of my hair.

“A thousand ripples upon the rain, drawing forth the boundless tides. Luna Form, 7th Stance … [Moonlit Cascade].”

A moment later, I discovered the only thing better than a loyal handmaiden.

Multiple loyal handmaidens.

Displaying a technique which was as useful for pouring several cups of tea as it was for ensuring a mage didn’t slink away, a dozen of her scythes and excited smiles filled the air around Marina’s figure. 

Each betrayed only a fraction of a second between them as they swept, lunged, dived or simply threw themselves at the unprepared mage.

“No.”

Bwoooomph.

Instead, just a single Coppelia was hurled backwards.

Her delicate figure flew past me, crashing through the thin wall of a cottage and leaving a hole beside a window where a certain fae had decided to hide behind while diligently taking notes. 

Yes … the bit just now absolutely wasn’t to be included. 

Not least because it was an insult to Coppelia’s high standards.

“H-How dare you!” I said, sweeping around with my sword raised. “That is the flimsiest wall Coppelia has ever been sent through! She deserves only the very best! It didn’t even leave a hole exactly her shape for everyone to admire!”

To my horror, no snort met my indignation.

Only that soft impression of a smile could be seen.

“The clockwork doll is the first. She will not be the last. All will experience the light I shall offer, to guide the unwilling and the lost.”

Uuggghhhhhhh. 

I didn’t bother hiding my groan.

It was beginning. I could tell. 

She’d already settled into her new dress. A terrible omen. After going through the effort of wearing something so complicated, it was only a given she wouldn’t slip it off again without first draining me of the willpower to roll my eyes at it anymore.

There was only one reprieve.

“[Tears Of The Moon].”

… It was the knowledge I wasn’t alone in this endeavour.

Why, there was an entire audience to help.

Including, apparently, a musician.

The string of a lute was plucked, its note clear and resounding in the night. 

It came with a sudden hail of thick raindrops, hurled upon Marina’s flames with the weight of a thousand tiny boulders. A haze of steam rose at once, the golden radiance flickering against the dousing onslaught.

I looked behind me.

There, standing in the concealed entrance to the garden, was a man in a spotted lilac poncho. 

He had an extra twirly moustache. And a lute in his arms.

The last thing was new to me. But the first two were not.

I remembered few commoners. But when they were dressed like a glass of wine thrown in my face, it was a scar upon my memories I could never heal. 

Especially when the commoner in question was responsible for inducting me into the– 

“Well now, would you look at this?” said the man with a cheerful smile. “I hear Timon Quinsley poached you away, jolly old fox that is. That’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you. But I suppose it can wait.”

The sound of movement joined the hissing flames.

Marina had stood up, her golden radiance barely quenched as she gazed at the new arrival.

“Cedric Halls,” she said, her voice showing little emotion. “Why are you here?”

The man whose name I’d admittedly forgotten awkwardly scratched his nose. 

“At the moment? … Losing a bet.”

“–[Entangling Vines].”

Before Marina could make her next query, oaken roots surged forth from the scarred soil.

Seeking retribution, they swiftly coiled themselves around their target, imprisoning her in a cage which was utterly insufficient for doing more than earning the snapping of the flames. Even as the magical rain fell squarely upon them, the searing heat threatened to turn the roots into cinders. 

But it was enough to keep her in place.

“[Binding Arrow].”

A violet bolt shot past me.

It flew unerringly towards the trapped mage, before dispersing cleanly upon her chest. A brief ripple of violet joined the golden hue as it spread across Marina’s figure. 

That, however, was not the only reason she remained still.

It was due to the arrival of a very optimistic merchant.

“That’s another crown for me, I believe,” said a familiar halfling, his magical cart of grease, cheese and dreams replaced with the sight of a bow as large as himself. “To be honest, I don’t even feel any joy from it anymore.”

Beside him, an elven woman I’d never seen before snorted.

She wore a dress of spring leaves. A fine ode to nature. But considerably less fine than the bracelets, rings and necklace she wore. 

“Your coin purse says otherwise. If you’re offering refunds, I’ll be your first taker.”

“Refunds. Ouch. That’s a word which makes me shiver like a troll.” 

The elven woman made no response.

She instead frowned at Marina, before flickering her gaze towards me. 

Or more specifically … towards my lap.

I had no idea why.

Except that I didn’t like it. An uncomfortable shudder ran through me.

However, there was no time to dwell on the matter. Not when the issue of a certain glowing mage was something I very much doubted could be cured by a handful of spells.

Not even if they were cast by her father.

A barkeeper appeared, his presence as bizarre in a fae countess’s herb garden as it was amongst the company he stepped past.

Dressed in plain, weathered attire, he looked the least of them. And yet his stature rose above the knights and servants who doubtless visited his bar to celebrate their continued employment.

He offered a nod … then pointed at the gluttonous horse chewing on a bundle of tulips. 

“Apple showed us the way.”